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Advice for middle aged first timers

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By *BZMan50 OP   Man 24 hours ago

Aberdeen

Hi,

I'm looking for advice as a middle aged couple who've decided to take the plunge and visit a club. We're keen on same room fun without swapping but are concerned this might be seen as an issue for more seasoned swingers. Is this a normal first step in the lifestyle or should we try a different approach.

I should add the plan is to visit a club well away from where we live so any club recommendations would also be appreciated.

M

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple 24 hours ago

Northampton

If it’s an issue, you are in the wrong club.

This is a perfectly acceptable way to pursue the lifestyle.

You always get to ‘do you’. Sure, people may want to join in, but a polite no is all it should take if required.

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By *iss DevilWoman 23 hours ago

Bedford

The "club well away from where you live" is not going to be too difficult as I don't think there are any clubs in Aberdeen lol. Nearest probably Edinburgh.

First of all, have a think what kind of club you'd prefer (spa-type when you dress down on arrival or more night-club style, where you dress to impress) and whether you'd like to go on nights/events single men are allowed in or not (as you said you're looking to go as a couple). Then decide which area you're prepared to travel to. Check club reviews from that area and decide which club seems up your street. Decide on the date and check what events are on then, and make sure it's an event you'd be happy to attend. For example, on your chosen date it's BDSM only event, and you're not into BDSM, I would choose a different date.

Before you go, have a chat about what you'd be happy to happen and what are hard "no"s. Also decide how you going to communicate to the other whether you're happy to proceed or not.

Follow the club rules, don't touch without being invited to, try to be sociable. Or, if that's easier, just watch. There is no pressure to do anything you don't want to do.

Most clubs have private lockable rooms, too, if you'd rather not be watched/joined by anyone apart from those you invite to the room (if anyone).

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By *abioMan 23 hours ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Hi,

I'm looking for advice as a middle aged couple who've decided to take the plunge and visit a club. We're keen on same room fun without swapping but are concerned this might be seen as an issue for more seasoned swingers. Is this a normal first step in the lifestyle or should we try a different approach.

I should add the plan is to visit a club well away from where we live so any club recommendations would also be appreciated.

M"

Same advice I would give to anyone…

Just go with an open mind and no expectations

At the end of the day.. your pace, your journey!

Talk to all and sundry… those who may and may not take your fancy (everyone has their own nuggets and perceptions)

Communication… if soft is just your thing tell them it’s just your thing

Swingers.. lovely people most of the time… not mindreaders though!

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