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Advice for middle aged first timers
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Hi,
I'm looking for advice as a middle aged couple who've decided to take the plunge and visit a club. We're keen on same room fun without swapping but are concerned this might be seen as an issue for more seasoned swingers. Is this a normal first step in the lifestyle or should we try a different approach.
I should add the plan is to visit a club well away from where we live so any club recommendations would also be appreciated.
M |
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If it’s an issue, you are in the wrong club.
This is a perfectly acceptable way to pursue the lifestyle.
You always get to ‘do you’. Sure, people may want to join in, but a polite no is all it should take if required. |
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The "club well away from where you live" is not going to be too difficult as I don't think there are any clubs in Aberdeen lol. Nearest probably Edinburgh.
First of all, have a think what kind of club you'd prefer (spa-type when you dress down on arrival or more night-club style, where you dress to impress) and whether you'd like to go on nights/events single men are allowed in or not (as you said you're looking to go as a couple). Then decide which area you're prepared to travel to. Check club reviews from that area and decide which club seems up your street. Decide on the date and check what events are on then, and make sure it's an event you'd be happy to attend. For example, on your chosen date it's BDSM only event, and you're not into BDSM, I would choose a different date.
Before you go, have a chat about what you'd be happy to happen and what are hard "no"s. Also decide how you going to communicate to the other whether you're happy to proceed or not.
Follow the club rules, don't touch without being invited to, try to be sociable. Or, if that's easier, just watch. There is no pressure to do anything you don't want to do.
Most clubs have private lockable rooms, too, if you'd rather not be watched/joined by anyone apart from those you invite to the room (if anyone).
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By *abioMan 5 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Hi,
I'm looking for advice as a middle aged couple who've decided to take the plunge and visit a club. We're keen on same room fun without swapping but are concerned this might be seen as an issue for more seasoned swingers. Is this a normal first step in the lifestyle or should we try a different approach.
I should add the plan is to visit a club well away from where we live so any club recommendations would also be appreciated.
M"
Same advice I would give to anyone…
Just go with an open mind and no expectations
At the end of the day.. your pace, your journey!
Talk to all and sundry… those who may and may not take your fancy (everyone has their own nuggets and perceptions)
Communication… if soft is just your thing tell them it’s just your thing
Swingers.. lovely people most of the time… not mindreaders though! |
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What makes a good club night is people. And clubs are a very social scene anyway. So people won't care where you're at with your journey or what your boundaries are. First and foremost they'll just be glad you're there to enrich the atmosphere, add a few fresh faces to talk to and obviously a couple more sexy people to add the aesthetics. Honestly you'll be welcomed. It's OK not to dive in and just enjoy the club as a couple even. We've met on a couple of occasions couples who are completely monogamous and don't play with others at all. They just enjoy the sexy ambiance, a place to have sex together and place to be exhibitionists. So my point is you'll be fine and welcomed whatever your doing.
Just go and have a great time. Take things at your speed.
Obviously you said you're travelling however Aberdeen is a long way up. So I would recommend Pandoras Leeds and Club Play Blackpool.
Just a foot: there are certain events and club nights that are geared to a more hard-core scene. But these are few and their titles kind of indicate the nature of the event. Obviously avoid them but any normal club night or party is good.
Mr |
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We did exactly this. Played together in a room with others present. It was hot as fuck.
No one batted an eye.
Our first trip to the club was one of the hottest experiences my life, and we only fucked each other.
We’re going back next week, ready for more
We’ve only been to Pandoras and I thought it was great. Friendly, diverse, and well located.
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It seems to be completely natural to go for no swap to start with, and there is no pressure to do anything at all. My partner and I went to a place, enjoyed the atmosphere, got horny for each other and grabbed a private room. |
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Hello everyone,I am single 53 year old ,I have never been to club before and would love to go to one ,but feel quite nervous about it , specially like on your own , looking to explore as I know they allow singles on some nights .
Also there is club 2 miles from my home or 50 miles away , so little worried about meeting people I might know , many thanks for your advice
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"Hello everyone,I am single 53 year old ,I have never been to club before and would love to go to one ,but feel quite nervous about it , specially like on your own , looking to explore as I know they allow singles on some nights .
Also there is club 2 miles from my home or 50 miles away , so little worried about meeting people I might know , many thanks for your advice
"
If you bumped into someone you know then they’d be in the same position as you |
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First timers don't worry you will be fine
What I'd do is manage your expectations. Don't expect to play with anyone and look at it as a success if you manage to feel comfortable enough to even speak with anyone!
Couples and singles are fine going to a club and just drinking in the atmosphere, just don't be stood gawping at others as it's really rude. Always be subtle and polite and you will have a nice night. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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We wasted a lot of time trying to.fins couples on Fab before and we ended up just going to a club. Despite it being shortly after Covid we managed to meet a couple and full swapped that same night.
Go to a club, and don't waste too much time on Fab. People that are lookimg for full swap go out and meet, they don't sit at home typing messages or posting on forums. |
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