FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Getting that first meet
Getting that first meet
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Ladies, gents and everyone else.
Been on here a while intermittently as still trying to get that elusive first meet. Seems like it's the hardest thing in the world for a single lad to get even a message off someone who isn't either a bloke of TV.
Now I never have problems on dating apps and I'm aware the ridiculous numbers of messages women get on here that they have the pick of the litter. Just want some advice really. I'm a good guy, not pushy, not an ugly fucker and keep in shape. I read the woman's profile and message commenting on what she's said in it and don't send a dck pick if they have stated not to.
Is it because I don't have a verification, that's why I don't get replies? Anyway, bit of advice pleas. Ta |
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By *ucka39Man 6 weeks ago
Newcastle |
Hiya op
Verification can help, but not always, as you could have loads and it'll be a hit or miss.
Maybe sort out the age bracket shouts desperate.
Add at bit about you in the bio let your personality shine. Remember your bio is important as others would read this before you receive any response and it's finding something compatible. Or interesting |
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By *oxy jWoman 6 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
online or clubs it wont matter until some one is sexually attracted to you and thats a hard thing to find full stop ..
this is a swinging site for mainly swingers its just not the same as a dating site or the vanilla world couples and women seek there men differently the have to at the very least fancy you and thats only the first hurdle ...
your biggest problem simply put is other men its like the sea full of men and a paddling pool with couples/women its that hard for guys full stop ... just think of all the couples/women on here a half of them are people who dont meet or fake accounts run by guys... alot of guys get there feet on the ladder via clubs but clubs are the same as online if no one wants you then thats that hence those zombie wankers at clubs the ones who just wank ..
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Thanks for the reply. Yes I suppose I have my sace/job etc on my dating apps so people have more of idea of who I am and what I look like. Because of my job, I don't want to have face pictures public so it's a tough one. I'm going to get to a local club one night to mingle and meet people. Have a great day x |
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"Ladies, gents and everyone else.
Been on here a while intermittently as still trying to get that elusive first meet. Seems like it's the hardest thing in the world for a single lad to get even a message off someone who isn't either a bloke of TV.
Now I never have problems on dating apps and I'm aware the ridiculous numbers of messages women get on here that they have the pick of the litter. Just want some advice really. I'm a good guy, not pushy, not an ugly fucker and keep in shape. I read the woman's profile and message commenting on what she's said in it and don't send a dck pick if they have stated not to.
Is it because I don't have a verification, that's why I don't get replies? Anyway, bit of advice pleas. Ta "
Hey fella. I could of written what you've wrote almost word for word myself there and we are not alone. As someone pointed out, It's a sea of guys on here. It's like going into a bar with 5 women and 20 guys round each one trying to chat to them! I've found it's a patience game on here. Just have to wait til you catch someone's eye and you have to put yourself in there shoes. If you had 100+ girls messaging you, you could either pick one and give her your full attention or completely waste everyone's time and send each one an impersonal 1 liner message. The site is almost too good to be true mate but it's not fruitless. Bide your time 😎 (and yes it is a swingers site essentially in fairness) |
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Cheers man. It's like trying to catch a tit in a barrel full of cocks. Got something lined up for over the weekend hopefully off the back of this post so hopefully all good mate. Have a good weekend |
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I think best thing is to attend a few socials, at least there you can meet face to face and show your personality to potential meets or at least get a few verifications.
This is less daunting than going to a club if you are nervous to go alone, you will gain confidence by attending a social first and getting to know a few people.
Best of luck with the meet at the weekend.  |
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Yeah I think that's the best way forward for me. I'm not nervous but don't fancy the idea of rocking up to a club and propping the bar up next to a bunch of men wanking away. Probably isn't like that but that's the image I have haha. Cheers, hope you two have a good weekend x |
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"Yeah I think that's the best way forward for me. I'm not nervous but don't fancy the idea of rocking up to a club and propping the bar up next to a bunch of men wanking away. Probably isn't like that but that's the image I have haha. Cheers, hope you two have a good weekend x"
That’s exactly the same as I feel. Not keen on that idea at all. I have been to a few clubs. Maybe it’s the day or time not sure. There was a couple sitting down. I noticed some guy standing near me. Looked round, he was Cock in hand wanking. I thought wow. This is not for me. No boundaries at all. The old saying time and place for everything sprang to mind.
The couple were not putting on a show or anything. Just sitting talking.
It definitely put me off going to another club. I may try another one. Not sure yet. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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I have done club thing it's boring to me now I not been for nearly a year I find that the really attractive men I am attracted to don't go clubs I never go again |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"Yeah I think that's the best way forward for me. I'm not nervous but don't fancy the idea of rocking up to a club and propping the bar up next to a bunch of men wanking away. Probably isn't like that but that's the image I have haha. Cheers, hope you two have a good weekend x
That’s exactly the same as I feel. Not keen on that idea at all. I have been to a few clubs. Maybe it’s the day or time not sure. There was a couple sitting down. I noticed some guy standing near me. Looked round, he was Cock in hand wanking. I thought wow. This is not for me. No boundaries at all. The old saying time and place for everything sprang to mind.
The couple were not putting on a show or anything. Just sitting talking.
It definitely put me off going to another club. I may try another one. Not sure yet. "
yes so true it's happened to me to I done club thing got bored not interested in them no more |
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I find I just make friends at clubs. I go to fetish clubs. I'm not a swinger. I have found I don't meet the guys that I'm attracted to there. I tend to meet them when I'm in a coffee shop.
I guess I'm attracted to certain types only. And that definitely includes their personality. |
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"Did you go on a themed night or just a normal night? Think there would be more couples and women on at events? X"
I have been to loads of different types of events all the same the same people travel to different clubs same conversations same speech from the men boring boring rather watch David Attenborough documentary at least he is interesting
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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"Did you go on a themed night or just a normal night? Think there would be more couples and women on at events? XI have been to loads of different types of events all the same the same people travel to different clubs same conversations same speech from the men boring boring rather watch David Attenborough documentary at least he is interesting "
the meets with men I have enjoyed more not in club to be honest
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"Thanks for the reply. I'll keep that in mind. Just a bit apprehensive about going on my own but may give it a go. Have a nice day."
In the nicest possible way, it sounds like it might be time to put your big boy pants on and take the plunge. Seriously? What have you got to lose?
Good luck |
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By *uzzleMan 6 weeks ago
Hastings |
You could have a well profile with tasteful pictures and still not get a meet.
As someone has already pointed out, its a swingers site. However, some women/couples treat it like a dating site, face pic with first message or it will be deleted, social or club meet first, you must host or pay for hotel etc.
You can put way too much effort into your profile and messages. Just put on your what you're happy sharing, don't be beholden to those who insist on a face pic with first message and expect NOT to get a meet then anything else is a bonus.
I am literally only on Fab for the forums. To me this is an entertainment platform and not a swinging site.
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"
However, some women/couples treat it like a dating site, face pic with first message or it will be deleted, social or club meet first, you must host or pay for hotel etc.
"
We don’t insist on a face pic first message but are not going to be getting naked with anyone without seeing one, or meeting for a social for that matter. Neither requirement seems to be setting the bar that high. |
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"
However, some women/couples treat it like a dating site, face pic with first message or it will be deleted, social or club meet first, you must host or
We don’t insist on a face pic first message but are not going to be getting naked with anyone without seeing one, or meeting for a social for that matter. Neither requirement seems to be setting the bar that high."
Try date sites too as with them you get a chat about everything and you see each other’s face too , You get to enjoy each other’s personality or grab a coffee or tea and you will meet nice people too and you may get a nice Bonus when the onus is not on sex |
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I'll keep that in mind, thanks. In your opinion, what's the best way to fill them first two lines? Compliment, normal pleasantries, joke or something tailored to whats written on your profile. Always find it hard to come up with something different when someone has little to no bio x |
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"I'll keep that in mind, thanks. In your opinion, what's the best way to fill them first two lines? Compliment, normal pleasantries, joke or something tailored to whats written on your profile. Always find it hard to come up with something different when someone has little to no bio x"
By that I mean to say I find it hard to write the message that stands out from the crowd. I thought I've sent some good well thought messages before, what surely has to be better than most they receive and don't even get a "no thank you" back haha |
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People will only be mutually compatible with a tiny minority of others. It pays to have realistic expectations that accept this.
Then, for a swinging site, to engage in the lifestyle, not sit on an app alone |
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By *aciamiCouple 6 weeks ago
Hertfordshire |
Most men on here, and many in clubs just think of this lifestyle as a way to an easy no strings fuck.
The reality is this is a swingers site and swingjng clubs are catering to swingers predominantly.
If you're wanting to play with swinging couples then you need to get into the swinging scene, not be some anonymous man online with a few good words on his profile and a few pictures. There's thousands of those.
You need to be seen as someone who is trusted and who will respect boundaries, who gets the dynamics involved.
A couple aren't going you to let you into their bedroom without all that.
Right now you're just a male profile on a swingers site using it as a sex site hoping to get laid. Get out there and make some friends on the scene by going to clubs regularly and you'll get veris and eventually meets will come.
That takes time and a lot of effort though. There's rarely an easy fuck available on here, and when there is you're up against thousands of other guys looking for the same thing. |
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"Most men on here, and many in clubs just think of this lifestyle as a way to an easy no strings fuck.
The reality is this is a swingers site and swingjng clubs are catering to swingers predominantly.
If you're wanting to play with swinging couples then you need to get into the swinging scene, not be some anonymous man online with a few good words on his profile and a few pictures. There's thousands of those.
You need to be seen as someone who is trusted and who will respect boundaries, who gets the dynamics involved.
A couple aren't going you to let you into their bedroom without all that.
Right now you're just a male profile on a swingers site using it as a sex site hoping to get laid. Get out there and make some friends on the scene by going to clubs regularly and you'll get veris and eventually meets will come.
That takes time and a lot of effort though. There's rarely an easy fuck available on here, and when there is you're up against thousands of other guys looking for the same thing."
Well said. |
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My advice, go to socials. Chat be friendly, enjoy the social. Go to more socials. Anywhere you can. Chat and meet as many people as you can. The veri's will come but they are by no means the golden ticket many believe them to be.
Most of my meets stem from chatting to someone at a social. Then going to clubs with that person.
The more of an effort you make, the better your options will be.
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"Most men on here, and many in clubs just think of this lifestyle as a way to an easy no strings fuck.
The reality is this is a swingers site and swingjng clubs are catering to swingers predominantly.
If you're wanting to play with swinging couples then you need to get into the swinging scene, not be some anonymous man online with a few good words on his profile and a few pictures. There's thousands of those.
You need to be seen as someone who is trusted and who will respect boundaries, who gets the dynamics involved.
A couple aren't going you to let you into their bedroom without all that.
Right now you're just a male profile on a swingers site using it as a sex site hoping to get laid. Get out there and make some friends on the scene by going to clubs regularly and you'll get veris and eventually meets will come.
That takes time and a lot of effort though. There's rarely an easy fuck available on here, and when there is you're up against thousands of other guys looking for the same thing."
Yep.
This 👆 |
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"Now I never have problems on dating apps "
If you don’t have problems on dating then why don’t you just replicate what is working for you there? If you know “the secret” then it is likely not to be that different here. |
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