FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Hard to get replies as a single man
Hard to get replies as a single man
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"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " It's likely neither. Most people will look at a profile before opening a message. If they see nothing of interest in the photos and text, or insufficient details to make a judgement call on whether you're potentially what they seek, then they'll not read it and move on to someone else. The biggest mistake people make is putting more effort into a message than they do their profile. 🤷♂️ | |||
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"Use fab to stay in contact with the people you meet at clubs and events. Using it as single guy to contact new people is often a lesson in futility. " I found visiting clubs as a single guy a lesson in futility, and would never recommend the club scene to a mate…… 
OP; there are definitely far too many men in here, chasing ridiculously too few women, but it’s not impossible to get meets. Just be realistic about who you are hoping to make connections with, and be patient! 
Statistically you are more likely to meet single ladies out there in vanillaland, than you are in here, or swinger clubs, so just enjoy Fab as an extra to life. Never take this place too seriously, and never think this is the only way to meet women! Good luck my friend | |||
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"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " Well your profile is hidden so that won't work | |||
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"We always reply even if it's a no thanks. But our query is this, why are all the single men on here ? Especially anyone under 30. Surely the dating apps are more successful or why aren't you chasing skirt in the pubs and clubs. Our mindset is to go with swinging couples , yes there probably is a place for a third, if and when required. But I find single men trying to hook up for sex then moaning when they get nothing weird. " 23 year old here, ill have a crack at this. Firstly, dating apps are shite. I have been on tinder for like 3 months and not got a single match. Not one. I'm also frequently seeing the same accounts. Without matching, I'm not even allowed to message women on it. So its a boring scroll app to me, I don't even have the motivation to use it anymore. Many other conventional dating sites are the same. I'm not willing to pay their egregious monthly prices (granted tinder is not the worst one) For additional feature that from what I've read in reviews, don't make much of a difference to the overall experience anyway. Fab is great in the sense that I can at the very least message people I'm interested without facing a paywall. And when I do decide pay to support the site, the price is a very reasonable 5 quid a month Other sites can ask for over 15 or even 20 quid a month just to be able to use their app or message people. They are all just crap. Chasing skirt in the pub? The current tension between men and women relating to harassment and accusations, I don't want to approach a local girl I know and she doesn't take kindly to my approach because she is just there to have fun and proceeds to create drama with her friends about me. Also, in my mind people generally go to clubs to spend time with friends, dance, etc. I feel like id more often than not be an annoyance if I tried to chat girls up. I'd make lots of friends if I went at it from that angle, but I already have a lot of friends, I'm not looking for more platonic friends. I also kind of dislike the club environment for the most part with the loud music and all that, would much prefer a relaxed scene where I could have a nice chat with someone. Its also harder to be discrete and for me that's pretty important, even as a single male. The place I'm at has a relatively small population and Its very likely that someone I know could be at the club and that would create some awkward moments. I'd really not want to be someone who gets attention that way and have people I know approach me asking, was it really you who approached 'x' at the club a few days ago? She's been telling x, y, z about you. No just no.  | |||
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"We always reply even if it's a no thanks. But our query is this, why are all the single men on here ? Especially anyone under 30. Surely the dating apps are more successful or why aren't you chasing skirt in the pubs and clubs. Our mindset is to go with swinging couples , yes there probably is a place for a third, if and when required. But I find single men trying to hook up for sex then moaning when they get nothing weird. " With you on this | |||
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"We always reply even if it's a no thanks. But our query is this, why are all the single men on here ? Especially anyone under 30. Surely the dating apps are more successful or why aren't you chasing skirt in the pubs and clubs. Our mindset is to go with swinging couples , yes there probably is a place for a third, if and when required. But I find single men trying to hook up for sex then moaning when they get nothing weird. With you on this "If you're curious as well, read my response to her earlier in the thread. A short answer is that conventional dating sites are not all they are cracked up to be, they are worse than they were in the past. Poor matching algorithms, too many restrictions, too expensive, low potential for those in less populated areas or all of the above. Moreover, some of us want to be discrete in a manner that actively going to clubs wont allow, many single men also value discreetness. For many single men, we don't use fab as a replacement for those other common sites but in addition to them. Not all women use tinder, nor bumble, nor 3fun, nor fab. Logically speaking it makes sense to get involved in as many communities as possible to maximise chances, so long as they are welcoming. Which Fab seems to be for the most part though there is a LOT of tension and dissatisfaction with single men | |||
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"We always reply even if it's a no thanks. But our query is this, why are all the single men on here ? Especially anyone under 30. Surely the dating apps are more successful or why aren't you chasing skirt in the pubs and clubs. Our mindset is to go with swinging couples , yes there probably is a place for a third, if and when required. But I find single men trying to hook up for sex then moaning when they get nothing weird. With you on this "I should add that I don't agree with the complaining. It doesn't improve a mans chances nor would it change anything. Its a venting exercise which some men do out of frustration or confusion, but its more helpful to ask for advice than just moan. But hey some people just want to vent at times lol | |||
"We always reply even if it's a no thanks. But our query is this, why are all the single men on here ? Especially anyone under 30. Surely the dating apps are more successful or why aren't you chasing skirt in the pubs and clubs. Our mindset is to go with swinging couples , yes there probably is a place for a third, if and when required. But I find single men trying to hook up for sex then moaning when they get nothing weird. 23 year old here, ill have a crack at this. Firstly, dating apps are shite. I have been on tinder for like 3 months and not got a single match. Not one. I'm also frequently seeing the same accounts. Without matching, I'm not even allowed to message women on it. So its a boring scroll app to me, I don't even have the motivation to use it anymore. Many other conventional dating sites are the same. I'm not willing to pay their egregious monthly prices (granted tinder is not the worst one) For additional feature that from what I've read in reviews, don't make much of a difference to the overall experience anyway. Fab is great in the sense that I can at the very least message people I'm interested without facing a paywall. And when I do decide pay to support the site, the price is a very reasonable 5 quid a month Other sites can ask for over 15 or even 20 quid a month just to be able to use their app or message people. They are all just crap. Chasing skirt in the pub? The current tension between men and women relating to harassment and accusations, I don't want to approach a local girl I know and she doesn't take kindly to my approach because she is just there to have fun and proceeds to create drama with her friends about me. Also, in my mind people generally go to clubs to spend time with friends, dance, etc. I feel like id more often than not be an annoyance if I tried to chat girls up. I'd make lots of friends if I went at it from that angle, but I already have a lot of friends, I'm not looking for more platonic friends. I also kind of dislike the club environment for the most part with the loud music and all that, would much prefer a relaxed scene where I could have a nice chat with someone. Its also harder to be discrete and for me that's pretty important, even as a single male. The place I'm at has a relatively small population and Its very likely that someone I know could be at the club and that would create some awkward moments. I'd really not want to be someone who gets attention that way and have people I know approach me asking, was it really you who approached 'x' at the club a few days ago? She's been telling x, y, z about you. No just no. "Fair comments, but even as a 50 something I've chatted to and been hit on in a dance venue, so it is a possibility. As for apps I've also had success, so again, options are there. It's just bewildering to us as to why so many youngsters want to meet people who could be their parents or even grandparents. | |||
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"Fabs a waste of time. The sites 75% single guys. It's the metaphorical equivalent of 1000 fisherment converging on a pond with 100 fish in it hoping they'll all catch a fish. Ain't worth the time or effort. Go outside and talk to real women. Go to clubs or socials. Anything but waste time and effort here. I'm not bashing fab either. It's just a tool to.meet people at the end of the day but if what youre doing isn't working, change what you're doing. " Pmsl! The difference of experiences in this wonderful side to our lives is incredible!
I have 3 new solo female meets (through Fab only) lined up, from the last two weeks, and an offer from a new couple dropped in my inbox just this morning. These on top of my regular play friends, so time to align diaries, it’s looking like a very busy run up to Xmas……
And all from just using Fab, which I can do from the comfort of my home, and all totally free of charge to use this site (if I didn’t decide to be a site supporter)
Compare that to, let’s say; the 6 times I made the effort to drive over to Club f. Best part of 4 hours driving, there and back, an average of £30 entry fee, and not a single connection made with any of the so-called friendly locals……
I’ll stick with Fab thank you very much, but do agree with the point you made above; if something isn’t working for you, change it. Worked for me | |||
"Fabs a waste of time. The sites 75% single guys. It's the metaphorical equivalent of 1000 fisherment converging on a pond with 100 fish in it hoping they'll all catch a fish. Ain't worth the time or effort. Go outside and talk to real women. Go to clubs or socials. Anything but waste time and effort here. I'm not bashing fab either. It's just a tool to.meet people at the end of the day but if what youre doing isn't working, change what you're doing. Pmsl! The difference of experiences in this wonderful side to our lives is incredible!
I have 3 new solo female meets (through Fab only) lined up, from the last two weeks, and an offer from a new couple dropped in my inbox just this morning. These on top of my regular play friends, so time to align diaries, it’s looking like a very busy run up to Xmas……
And all from just using Fab, which I can do from the comfort of my home, and all totally free of charge to use this site (if I didn’t decide to be a site supporter)
Compare that to, let’s say; the 6 times I made the effort to drive over to Club f. Best part of 4 hours driving, there and back, an average of £30 entry fee, and not a single connection made with any of the so-called friendly locals……
I’ll stick with Fab thank you very much, but do agree with the point you made above; if something isn’t working for you, change it. Worked for me "You are a veteran on this site Sir, well played. | |||
"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " Please consider going to sex clubs and swinging social events. Maybe consider why you are on here. There has to be easier ways of getting sex, for example on dating sites. This isn’t easy. You have to really want it, to work at it. Unless you are clearly what the majority of couples want, then it will take take more time to be a success on here. Good luck. | |||
"Fabs a waste of time. The sites 75% single guys. It's the metaphorical equivalent of 1000 fisherment converging on a pond with 100 fish in it hoping they'll all catch a fish. Ain't worth the time or effort. Go outside and talk to real women. Go to clubs or socials. Anything but waste time and effort here. I'm not bashing fab either. It's just a tool to.meet people at the end of the day but if what youre doing isn't working, change what you're doing. Pmsl! The difference of experiences in this wonderful side to our lives is incredible!
I have 3 new solo female meets (through Fab only) lined up, from the last two weeks, and an offer from a new couple dropped in my inbox just this morning. These on top of my regular play friends, so time to align diaries, it’s looking like a very busy run up to Xmas……
And all from just using Fab, which I can do from the comfort of my home, and all totally free of charge to use this site (if I didn’t decide to be a site supporter)
Compare that to, let’s say; the 6 times I made the effort to drive over to Club f. Best part of 4 hours driving, there and back, an average of £30 entry fee, and not a single connection made with any of the so-called friendly locals……
I’ll stick with Fab thank you very much, but do agree with the point you made above; if something isn’t working for you, change it. Worked for me "See Club F is my club. I'm there on average 3 Saturdays out of 4. Sometimes with my wife, sometimes with one if my single lady freinds or even on my own. I have a lot of freinds there and I'm never alone. Even if I don't bother dressing down I have a good night with good company. Better than going to a pub imo. But on Fab...most messages I sent where ignored (and that's polite thought out messages, no dick.pics either I'll add) and no one ever messages me so...what works for.you dosnt work for.me and vice versa. But to be fair...where I live is a bit of a dead zone (and thats a complaint i hear off freinds in my area as well) so if I have to travel 30 plus miles it might as well be to the club. Teesside, Durham and Cleveland to be fair, a bit quiet for Fab accounts when compared to other areas. | |||
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"Fabs a waste of time. The sites 75% single guys. It's the metaphorical equivalent of 1000 fisherment converging on a pond with 100 fish in it hoping they'll all catch a fish. Ain't worth the time or effort. Go outside and talk to real women. Go to clubs or socials. Anything but waste time and effort here. I'm not bashing fab either. It's just a tool to.meet people at the end of the day but if what youre doing isn't working, change what you're doing. Pmsl! The difference of experiences in this wonderful side to our lives is incredible!
I have 3 new solo female meets (through Fab only) lined up, from the last two weeks, and an offer from a new couple dropped in my inbox just this morning. These on top of my regular play friends, so time to align diaries, it’s looking like a very busy run up to Xmas……
And all from just using Fab, which I can do from the comfort of my home, and all totally free of charge to use this site (if I didn’t decide to be a site supporter)
Compare that to, let’s say; the 6 times I made the effort to drive over to Club f. Best part of 4 hours driving, there and back, an average of £30 entry fee, and not a single connection made with any of the so-called friendly locals……
I’ll stick with Fab thank you very much, but do agree with the point you made above; if something isn’t working for you, change it. Worked for me
See Club F is my club. I'm there on average 3 Saturdays out of 4. Sometimes with my wife, sometimes with one if my single lady friends or even on my own. I have a lot of friends there and I'm never alone. Even if I don't bother dressing down I have a good night with good company. Better than going to a pub imo.
But on Fab...most messages I sent where ignored (and that's polite thought out messages, no dick.pics either I'll add) and no one ever messages me so...what works for.you doesn't work for.me and vice versa.
But to be fair...where I live is a bit of a dead zone (and that's a complaint I hear off friends in my area as well) so if I have to travel 30 plus miles it might as well be to the club.
Teesside, Durham and Cleveland to be fair, a bit quiet for Fab accounts when compared to other areas. "That's quite amusing to hear, when I think of the day rate hotel fun I've shared in Middlesbrough, with a local lady I met through the Forum, along with a regular friend who travels from Darlington to meet me, and I have a new lady from Stockton primed lol......
In all honesty, if there was a club within 30 miles of where I live, I probably would visit more often, but therein lies a great benefit in my eyes; because there's no club locally, I genuinely believe people put more effort in to using Fab 'properly'. I don't live in a heavily populated area, but I've done very well through Fab over the years
Potentially, if I'd chosen 'better' events at clubs, I may have felt more welcome, wanted to visit more often, and made some genuine connections in that scene. But my experiences could generally be described as lacklustre, unwelcoming, and a waste of an evening. Henceforth, I would never recommend the club scene as a solo male to a mate... | |||
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"Some of the messages I receive are ridiculous why would I bother " I think they are unaware of the preview of ALL messages. You can generally see if it's worth a response. | |||
"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " Easiest way to get past the metaphorical “gate keeper” that comes with messaging is to just bypass all that and go to clubs, parties and organising socials to meet people. Don’t have to bother questioning whether there’s an attraction based on characteristics from an online profile that way. People can take you at face value and vice versa. 128 (published) verifications I have, all of which are folk I’ve met in person first and connected with on here afterwards. Even in spite of the above, with a relatively decent well written profile & tasteful pics, I find a lot of my messages go ignored or unread. Women and couples are just unresponsive in general on here for the most part no matter how well written your message is. | |||
"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " About 75% of people on here are timewasters when it comes to real life meets, so best to put yourself in the arena of non timewasters. You need to go to a place where people actually meet in real life, not online. BTW, its not just couples and single women who are timewasters, loads of single men are too, so why put yourself in the timewaster group. Look for a social in your area or a club and get yourself along. Be yourself, smile and don't be a limpet. Use the first meet as a trial, you will always live to fight another day and don't get pissed. We know a group of great guys who are often at parties and most of them had invites because they put themselves around not just hid behind a keyboard. Give it a whirl, its great fun. | |||
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"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " I let interested people message me. I am very relaxed about it all. Anyone who wants to will message and chat with you if you are friendly and approachable I think. | |||
"Fabs a waste of time. The sites 75% single guys. It's the metaphorical equivalent of 1000 fisherment converging on a pond with 100 fish in it hoping they'll all catch a fish. " Swinging women have sex with multiple men, not just one fisherman | |||
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"Thanks guys, I’ll try to make a bit of an effort with my profile " I suggest you crop your profile pic to remove the black bar at the top and the emoji. Then we would be able to see more of your sexy torso. | |||
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"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? It's likely neither. Most people will look at a profile before opening a message. If they see nothing of interest in the photos and text, or insufficient details to make a judgement call on whether you're potentially what they seek, then they'll not read it and move on to someone else. The biggest mistake people make is putting more effort into a message than they do their profile. 🤷♂️" ^^This ^^ | |||
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"I have replied to couple of single men no conversation so I just deleted " I guess that's their loss and someone else's gain. | |||
"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? It's likely neither. Most people will look at a profile before opening a message. If they see nothing of interest in the photos and text, or insufficient details to make a judgement call on whether you're potentially what they seek, then they'll not read it and move on to someone else. The biggest mistake people make is putting more effort into a message than they do their profile. 🤷♂️" I agree...a lot of single male profiles have less than 8 words??? | |||
"Yep. A lot of messages don’t even get read. It’s because it’s a cock fest on here and then women get absolutely hammered with messages and this also allows them to be picky (understandably and rightly) Any tips ladies "Yes...a sensible profile consisting of more than..'looking for a f**k'...just be yourself, and anything other than c**k pics over the toilet from 17 angles..lol.. | |||
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"Let's call a spade a spade. You were informed 3 weeks ago, your bio was lacking. I'm assuming it hasn't changed because it looks very poor now. Your only pic shows a skinny body and your bio is non existent. Why post your problem and then ignore the advice. As the usual advice says, look at other successful profiles and then you'll get an idea of what to do. No effort in = a nil response! If your messages are like your bio then you'll get nowhere. If we got a 'hows you' message and took one look at your profile, it would be deleted immediately. Now, you may look like Brad Pitt but you'll get nowhere fast. I'll shout it, take decent pics as that's anyone's only frame of reference! Other than that, go to PDI if you want your nat king cole." Ouch... brutal | |||
"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " Fab has hundreds of threads on this, but there's no point in directing you to them. You've ignored the advice in your responses here, so you won't be paying attention anywhere else. So, am I really qualified to be so harshly critical? Read my verifications. | |||
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"Cause women and couples get bombarded with so much shit decent ones struggle to get seen" I know you get a lot of crap messages..I never understood why you don't put your filters on and do your own looking for a nice guy ... | |||
"I know you get a lot of crap messages..I never understood why you don't put your filters on and do your own looking for a nice guy ..." We tried that - but we'd send messages detailing who we were, what we were looking for and what we could offer and nine times out of ten we got one word messages back and no conversation. At least waiting for guys to message first gives us a bit more of an indication of how we'll get on from their message. (Bry) | |||
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"I know you get a lot of crap messages..I never understood why you don't put your filters on and do your own looking for a nice guy ... We tried that - but we'd send messages detailing who we were, what we were looking for and what we could offer and nine times out of ten we got one word messages back and no conversation. At least waiting for guys to message first gives us a bit more of an indication of how we'll get on from their message. (Bry)" So you’re just lazy swingers then? 😂 Rather than keep messaging in an attempt to find a good guy (like most single men have to, for months, years even) you’re going to just wait for the right one to pop up… | |||
"Cause women and couples get bombarded with so much shit decent ones struggle to get seen I know you get a lot of crap messages..I never understood why you don't put your filters on and do your own looking for a nice guy ..." You wouldn’t know how many of my couples and lady friends I’ve told to start doing this… it usually falls on deaf ears and is followed up with an excuse (similar to one made by a couple on this thread) as to why they can’t or won’t 🤷🏾♂️ | |||
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"Hi guys, I’m struggling to get replies after sending a nice little intro message. Is it that there are so many single men on here or have I just not found anyone who is interested in me yet? " My advice would be to build a bridge and get over it. Move onto the next. Men to women ratio is so unbalanced, so no need to feel deflated. | |||
