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Double standards
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What's the biggest "double standards" you see on here?
Curious 
One we see often is a couples profile "no single men, we don't meet guys" splashed all over the profile, but there's either very recent meet verification(s) from a single male showing or public pics/videos of the female half engaging in sexual acts with another man and it's captioned "not hubby" or "not Mr *username*" etc. |
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The biggest is the constant demand that single men should jump through hoops like performing seals, then be grateful for the stiff ignoring they're guaranteed - especially when they mention it in the forums in any way. They're pretty much guaranteed to get slaughtered for doing so, whereas any woman making any kind of statement as to how they're unhappy with the way things are (and both are often legitimately so) is guaranteed huge amounts of empathy/sympathy. Always been the case, no matter the merits of individual opinions.
I'd suspect for the vast majority nothing is ever likely to change, other than sacking off trying to get meets via messages for guys, or more women doing the opposite. Always going to be the terrible and disrespectful approaches of guys who aren't really part of the lifestyle (or who have no understanding of it) and always going to be that a lot of women are aghast/indignant at the suggestion they could block guys from messaging and do the hunting themselves.
Do what you've always done/ get what you've always got....
Good men deserve more success and women don't deserve the disgraceful way they're approached by a good proportion of 'men'. (I use inverted commas as any guy being disrespectful/vile isn't really a man at all!).
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Our biggest pet hate.
People's profiles saying you must send a face pic with your first message.
They then reply saying they will return the picture when they feel comfortable...as they're a professional couple.
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49 
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂"
Is it not double standards if someone expects people half their age to meet them but yet the profile won’t even meet people their age ? They expect the other profile to do something they wouldn’t.
Generally these preferences are from women who can easily meet guys of any age or couples who think they’re more attractive than other people their age. Just our honest opinion |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂"
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected. |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected. "
Very little is on Fab - by anyone. Far more disrespectful than the other way around sadly. |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Is it not double standards if someone expects people half their age to meet them but yet the profile won’t even meet people their age ? They expect the other profile to do something they wouldn’t.
Generally these preferences are from women who can easily meet guys of any age or couples who think they’re more attractive than other people their age. Just our honest opinion "
Perhaps they're not expecting anyone to do anything but instead are looking for younger people who want to meet older people, or those who have no preference on age 🤷♀️ Many people meet those outwith their own demographic.
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We saw one the other day and the profile said they will ignore any messages that don't include a face pic, and then literally the next sentence said they won't be sending face pictures to anyone without meeting. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 10 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Those who tick "looking for" (in my case Tv/Ts) so they show up in my searches but also have blocked Tv/Ts from contacting them  "
That could just be inbox management? 🤷♂️
Plenty of couples and single women block incoming mail from men, so they can do their own browsing. Just because contact is blocked it doesn't mean they're not interested. |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected. "
In that case we’d say there are no double standards just preferences.
Expect face pics but won’t send - a preference.
Expects people to accommodate but won’t themselves- a preference
Everything is a preference. Can’t genuinely think of anything which is a double standard. |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected.
In that case we’d say there are no double standards just preferences.
Expect face pics but won’t send - a preference.
Expects people to accommodate but won’t themselves- a preference
Everything is a preference. Can’t genuinely think of anything which is a double standard. "
People shouldn't request things that they aren't willing to share themselves.
In my eyes, that is a double standard.
If you don't want to send pics, that's your preference. Don't ask others for their pictures.
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected.
In that case we’d say there are no double standards just preferences.
Expect face pics but won’t send - a preference.
Expects people to accommodate but won’t themselves- a preference
Everything is a preference. Can’t genuinely think of anything which is a double standard.
People shouldn't request things that they aren't willing to share themselves.
In my eyes, that is a double standard.
If you don't want to send pics, that's your preference. Don't ask others for their pictures.
"
Agreed 100%. Immediate loss of trust. Fairly typical of some though.
Tends to say a lot about those people, so helps with filtering out the more arrogant/narcissistic and entitled types though, which is a win. |
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"When you read a post on forums stating how much they hate dick pics, only to click on their profile with their fannys hanging out"
A fair point!
I've rarely had photos Fabbed, but recently uploaded a 'Dick pic' for my gallery. I was surprised to get a record number of Fabs. (Wasn't expecting any!), but it left me thinking wtf?  |
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By *ltra72Man 10 weeks ago
edinburgh |
"When you read a post on forums stating how much they hate dick pics, only to click on their profile with their fannys hanging out
A fair point!
I've rarely had photos Fabbed, but recently uploaded a 'Dick pic' for my gallery. I was surprised to get a record number of Fabs. (Wasn't expecting any!), but it left me thinking wtf? "
Keep it up mate |
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"When you read a post on forums stating how much they hate dick pics, only to click on their profile with their fannys hanging out
A fair point!
I've rarely had photos Fabbed, but recently uploaded a 'Dick pic' for my gallery. I was surprised to get a record number of Fabs. (Wasn't expecting any!), but it left me thinking wtf?
Keep it up mate"
 |
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"I've had men who have messaged me but have "not interested in single males" in their profile. I understand why they do it, some men online can't take the hint if you're not interested."
I quite agree and then, should you reply, Fab warns you that they aren't looking for guys!
Also couples with a straight male who really wants to suck cock! |
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you block guys from messaging you for a while then your profile automatically says “Not looking for single males”.
J’s solo profile often says that if she’s setting up a group meet as she messages guys directly rather than wanting a flood of messages. |
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I get to see what this site is like for single guys and for couples (have an account with my wife as well). Gave up with Fab a while ago and jumped into social events and clubs. Love it..so much easier.
All I'm going to say is, people say all sorts online but real life is real life and reality tends to be different.
Had women describe themselves as shy and nervous first timers on their profile but I've had them misbehaving within an hour. Had couples who say wint meet single men but then I've hotwifed the missus. Said they're not into being Dommed but then I've had the wife in the club dungeon loving every second of it. Had women say they are straight but jumped all over my wife...
This all over the last 28 years of course. Seen it so many times.
It is what it is. People sometimes write down what they think they are seeking or build up.an idea in their head but then find themselves in a heat of the moment situation and suddenly they're enjoying something they never thought they would.
It's why I don't put into.this online stuff anymore. Yes it works to a degree but its a lot of effort for minimal reward now.
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I don't meet men but have verifications from them?! Socials.....
Also they may not meet men "now" but they once did.
Mt biggest double standard hers is the difference posters receive on their threads depending which gender posts.
Eg - woman in a sexless marriage cheating gets a oh poor you, you deserve better...🙄
Man posts the same - he's a selfish prick.
(They are both equally selfish pricks but still.) |
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"I don't meet men but have verifications from them?! Socials.....
Also they may not meet men "now" but they once did.
Mt biggest double standard hers is the difference posters receive on their threads depending which gender posts.
Eg - woman in a sexless marriage cheating gets a oh poor you, you deserve better...🙄
Man posts the same - he's a selfish prick.
(They are both equally selfish pricks but still.)"
We've often talked about the sexless marriage point.
Men have far less morals than ladies....so they class it as ok, to get what they want. |
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"Have found that
Like you have blocked men but want to meet single guys Crazy "
We've got single men blocked but occasionally meet with them...not crazy...we either meet at clubs and parties or go looking ourselves...not crazy, just like to curate our Fab experience wisely |
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"I don't meet men but have verifications from them?! Socials.....
Also they may not meet men "now" but they once did.
Mt biggest double standard hers is the difference posters receive on their threads depending which gender posts.
Eg - woman in a sexless marriage cheating gets a oh poor you, you deserve better...🙄
Man posts the same - he's a selfish prick.
(They are both equally selfish pricks but still.)"
This definitely!! |
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Biggest double standard not on here but in real life
Few years ago had a friend joined me and ex on regular basis for 3 some or some nights she have sex him then me after. He also met up with a married lady sometimes.
Move on a year he had gf that wanted to try 3 some or singers club etc. He said no gf of his was doing anything like that with anyone of either sex. He get jealous check up on her if she had girls night out etc.
Was OK him do stuff but not gf |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"The biggest is the constant demand that single men should jump through hoops like performing seals, then be grateful for the stiff ignoring they're guaranteed - especially when they mention it in the forums in any way. They're pretty much guaranteed to get slaughtered for doing so, whereas any woman making any kind of statement as to how they're unhappy with the way things are (and both are often legitimately so) is guaranteed huge amounts of empathy/sympathy. Always been the case, no matter the merits of individual opinions.
I'd suspect for the vast majority nothing is ever likely to change, other than sacking off trying to get meets via messages for guys, or more women doing the opposite. Always going to be the terrible and disrespectful approaches of guys who aren't really part of the lifestyle (or who have no understanding of it) and always going to be that a lot of women are aghast/indignant at the suggestion they could block guys from messaging and do the hunting themselves.
Do what you've always done/ get what you've always got....
Good men deserve more success and women don't deserve the disgraceful way they're approached by a good proportion of 'men'. (I use inverted commas as any guy being disrespectful/vile isn't really a man at all!).
"
Perfect response to OP |
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"Our biggest pet hate.
People's profiles saying you must send a face pic with your first message.
They then reply saying they will return the picture when they feel comfortable...as they're a professional couple.
"
This! |
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"let's swap face pics" but refuse to send their's first
"Looking for couples" but have them blocked.
'Straight' guys who have tv/ts in looking for.
Receiving a friend's request from a profile with zero friends pics and little to no public pics even if we've been chatting a while.
Claiming great interest (sometimes repeatedly) yet refusing to sort a social time and place.
'Genuine' folk who are clearly here to pic collect and 'dirty' chat only (one couple initiated chat with us four times with no outcome, a single female twice etc)
Those who arrange a social with us then ghost, make false excuses or no-show (one couple did it THREE TIMES)
'Professional' couples who don't have face pics but expect ours.
'Couple' profiles that are clearly single guys. |
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"Have found that
Like you have blocked men but want to meet single guys Crazy "
We open our profile to single guys occasionally but blocked from.messaging in general as we get nothing but those who can't read or messing around behind their partners backs  . They can still fab our photos to get our interest tho... |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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Where do I start?
Members stating they will only speak to others who have photos, when they have no photos themselves.
Copy & paste messages? Many members hate the copy & paste. So you take your time to message individuals accordingly, only to be completely blanked and ignored anyway.
Many members asking, where are the decent guys? So you take the time to send a polite, friendly, respectful message, introduce yourself and try to spark up a conversation, showing that you are infact that decent guy…and again, you are completely blanked and ignored.
Members who state they will only meet verified people, when they aren’t verified themselves.
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
"
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes? |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?"
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not. |
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not. "
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round? |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?"
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab… |
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab… "
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
|
"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab…
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat."
You’re getting a little hung up on body types, maybe I’ve hit a nerve here with you? How about my other opinions on double standards? |
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab…
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat.
You’re getting a little hung up on body types, maybe I’ve hit a nerve here with you? How about my other opinions on double standards? "
I don't see any of them as double standards. Some have already been addressed by others in the thread.
And no, you haven't hit a nerve  |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab…
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat.
You’re getting a little hung up on body types, maybe I’ve hit a nerve here with you? How about my other opinions on double standards?
I don't see any of them as double standards. Some have already been addressed by others in the thread.
And no, you haven't hit a nerve "
So someone stating that they will only reply to someone with a photo, when they themselves do not have any photos on their profile, is not a double standard to you then?
I literally read a woman’s profile this morning (who had no face photos) who straight up said that guys must have face photos and that she will not send a face photo in return, so don’t even ask!
I’m sorry but how is that not a double standard? |
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When they ask for a dick pic without sending you a photo of themselves.
I had couple chatting with me, seen my face, never revealed their face asked for a dick pick. When I asked to see them, they replied with NO THANK YOU. |
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab…
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat.
You’re getting a little hung up on body types, maybe I’ve hit a nerve here with you? How about my other opinions on double standards?
I don't see any of them as double standards. Some have already been addressed by others in the thread.
And no, you haven't hit a nerve
So someone stating that they will only reply to someone with a photo, when they themselves do not have any photos on their profile, is not a double standard to you then?
I literally read a woman’s profile this morning (who had no face photos) who straight up said that guys must have face photos and that she will not send a face photo in return, so don’t even ask!
I’m sorry but how is that not a double standard? "
If they wanted face photos of men but not women, that's a double standard |
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By *yn888Couple 10 weeks ago
Kidderminster |
Biggest double standards I've seen are women saying they are single, no single men, looking for a naughty couple.. then after a few days chat.. the whole.. can I bring a male fwb ..
This just screams fake account run by the man using his fwbs pics..
So annoying
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Those kind of people aren't uncommon sadly - especially in couples - although I'd like to think they're still a minority in the big scheme of things. Sadly that type also tend to be the 'I love me' narcissistic types as well.......and well avoided! Saw it in spades at Libs on NYEE last year. Wasn't the normal friendly, brilliant type of people i've seen there over time, but full of couples who thought they were better than everyone else. As a result the night was nowhere near the usual warm, fabulous environment I've always known it to be.
Ultimately it's great to read those people's comments and profiles as it's an easy block before wasting time trying to jump through their hoops. Those people aren't what swinging is about. |
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"Is it any surprise this site has a google rating of 1.8 out of 5. "
That's just sour grapes, bitterness and rejection non-resilience.
I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea but I'm ok with that. I play to my strengths. I like to have fun and make ridiculous jokes, I've got big nipples and a big bum and i can hvae a chat woth anyone across the socio-economic/cultural backgrpund because the autistic brain allows me to be interested in all sorts of things. |
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"Have found that
Like you have blocked men but want to meet single guys Crazy "
People block single males from contacting them simply because they get too many messages.
Once you choose that filter, it automatically blocks single males from sending you messages and automatically selects "not interested in single males" for your profile.
It's the only way to stop being inundated by messages from single males which is the largest demographic on fab.. AND in swingers clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
(This one may offend but I actually don’t care anymore) members who are chubby/overweight, stating that they will only meet people who are ‘in shape’ or ‘gym fit’. Personally I think these type of statements are rude and by far the biggest double standard. I am a chubby guy and I would never dream of writing this kind of statement on my profile.
As one of those fat women who prefer fit men, and state it in their profile, I'm sorry that I find certain body types more attractive. Is it also rude for a gym fit man (or woman) to fancy fat people? Or is it only rude when a fat person has the audacity to have preferences? What about tall people with short people? Should blondes never express a preference for brunettes?
We all find certain body types attractive. But when someone is saying that they will ONLY meet people who are ‘in shape’ when they aren’t in good shape themselves, it’s just a case of the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion.
But maybe it’s me? Because personally I don’t really have a preference to appearance/weight/hight. Yes, obviously there has to be a level of attraction but I wouldn’t rule out people based on their body type, especially as I’m not exactly in shape myself because yes, I do strongly feel like it’s a double standard. Some may agree, some may not.
And again I ask, is this only an issue when a fat person is attracted to those who are "in shape"? What about the other way round?
Show me where those who are in shape will ONLY meet a heavier built person? Because I’ve yet to come across that scenario here on fab…
Oh they exist and you don't even have to look very hard. By the way it's ok, you can say fat.
You’re getting a little hung up on body types, maybe I’ve hit a nerve here with you? How about my other opinions on double standards?
I don't see any of them as double standards. Some have already been addressed by others in the thread.
And no, you haven't hit a nerve
So someone stating that they will only reply to someone with a photo, when they themselves do not have any photos on their profile, is not a double standard to you then?
I literally read a woman’s profile this morning (who had no face photos) who straight up said that guys must have face photos and that she will not send a face photo in return, so don’t even ask!
I’m sorry but how is that not a double standard?
If they wanted face photos of men but not women, that's a double standard"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour. |
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I'm fairly sure I didn't say any of that 🤔
I do believe people can ask for what they like and "do Fab" in whatever way works for them. I also believe that people have a choice whether to engage with those profiles or not |
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"Biggest double standards I've seen are women saying they are single, no single men, looking for a naughty couple.. then after a few days chat.. the whole.. can I bring a male fwb ..
This just screams fake account run by the man using his fwbs pics..
So annoying
"
Had three of those this week alone  |
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By *ynecplCouple 9 weeks ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I would say the biggest double standard is the forums. Often see a single guys get absolutely slaughtered for something but when a female post the exact same thing it is all "oh you poor thing etc etc" |
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"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour. "
We only send face pics back if we decide that we want to carry on the conversation leading to a possible meet. We have to be careful given that we’re both in other relationships as to who sees our faces.
As for the OP on double standards, the amount of messages we get from people who say they are happy with bareback but their profile says safe sex only |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"I would say the biggest double standard is the forums. Often see a single guys get absolutely slaughtered for something but when a female post the exact same thing it is all "oh you poor thing etc etc""
Agreed. I found this out the hard way with a previous profile of mine a while back. Came to the forum for profile advice & positive constructive criticism & I was absolutely ripped apart & when I bit back it turned nasty & I actually closed my account down that afternoon. Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back lol |
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By *ynecplCouple 9 weeks ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour. "
We solved the request for face photos by following the principal of whoever asks first sends first. There is always the danger that if we ask we won't get one in return but as we rarely ask until a conversation has been going for quite some time it has never happened but we frequently get asked for a face photo and then when we say you first they refuse. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour.
We only send face pics back if we decide that we want to carry on the conversation leading to a possible meet. We have to be careful given that we’re both in other relationships as to who sees our faces.
As for the OP on double standards, the amount of messages we get from people who say they are happy with bareback but their profile says safe sex only "
May I ask, what what your impression/response be if a single guy asked for face photos but wouldn’t be willing to send face photos in return unless he liked what he saw? I assume you would just walk away, right? Different when the shoe is on the other foot |
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By *bi HaiveMan 9 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour.
We only send face pics back if we decide that we want to carry on the conversation leading to a possible meet. We have to be careful given that we’re both in other relationships as to who sees our faces.
As for the OP on double standards, the amount of messages we get from people who say they are happy with bareback but their profile says safe sex only
May I ask, what what your impression/response be if a single guy asked for face photos but wouldn’t be willing to send face photos in return unless he liked what he saw? I assume you would just walk away, right? Different when the shoe is on the other foot"
Someone has to go first. Usually it's the person choosing to make initial contact.
If once that happens the other party isn't interested then why would they send a face photo?
And yes, it works both ways. It's your choice who you send one to, nobody else's. |
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"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour.
We only send face pics back if we decide that we want to carry on the conversation leading to a possible meet. We have to be careful given that we’re both in other relationships as to who sees our faces.
As for the OP on double standards, the amount of messages we get from people who say they are happy with bareback but their profile says safe sex only
May I ask, what what your impression/response be if a single guy asked for face photos but wouldn’t be willing to send face photos in return unless he liked what he saw? I assume you would just walk away, right? Different when the shoe is on the other foot"
I wouldn't expect anyone to send a face photo if they'd seen mine first and decided I wasn't for them. What would it achieve? 🤷♀️ You either take the risk to send one or you don't. |
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"
So you believe it’s perfectly fair, acceptable and reasonable for someone to demand a face photo but to point blank refuse to send a face photo in return or to display a face photo on their profile? Because to me that’s a one way street, it’s rude, disrespectful, unfair & just idiotic behaviour.
We only send face pics back if we decide that we want to carry on the conversation leading to a possible meet. We have to be careful given that we’re both in other relationships as to who sees our faces.
As for the OP on double standards, the amount of messages we get from people who say they are happy with bareback but their profile says safe sex only
May I ask, what what your impression/response be if a single guy asked for face photos but wouldn’t be willing to send face photos in return unless he liked what he saw? I assume you would just walk away, right? Different when the shoe is on the other foot"
Would depend on the guy in question in regards to if his description fits what we’re looking for and where he lives. Some one close to our area would be a no due to our circumstances as would a smoker or someone who’s profile/likes doesn’t fit with what our preferences are |
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"To those irksome over sending a face pic and not getting one in return, just know this; the person they're chatting with is hideously unattractive and wants to be the one with 'rejection' power."
Lol! at rejection power. I've been rejected so many times in my life that I think I've built some immunity... I'm too old and tired to be chasing someone for mutual respect, empathy, compassion, understanding and care.
I only have so many spoons in a day/week/month/year so I can't wait them on people who are not compatible with me and I don't expect them to wait their energy if I'm not compatible for them.
The only power and control I need is over my own mind and body...and I don't need to use people to feel that power and control for myself.
I need to feel my own transcendence and self-actualisation. I could be the neurodivergent part of my brain that is socially averse but nothing makes me feel as good as when I handle things by myself. |
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"Biggest double standard not on here but in real life
Few years ago had a friend joined me and ex on regular basis for 3 some or some nights she have sex him then me after. He also met up with a married lady sometimes.
Move on a year he had gf that wanted to try 3 some or singers club etc. He said no gf of his was doing anything like that with anyone of either sex. He get jealous check up on her if she had girls night out etc.
Was OK him do stuff but not gf "
He was single, he did single things. He then got unto a relationship and rules applied.
Exactly the same will apply for her. She could have done whatever she liked when she was single.
I fail to see the double standard here.
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By *eedyBBWWoman 9 weeks ago
Buckinghamshire |
The biggest double standard I have come across is the fact that it is OK for single guys to have multiple partners and sleep around but it isn't ok for single women to do the same.
Seems bonkers that that opinion is in action on a site like this. But I have met quite a few guys here who have made comment such as "I'd never take a girl on here seriously, that's proper slaggy" or "I'd never get with a girl with over 10veris (yet they had over 40)" or "I could never like a girl who gets as much attention as you do"....
So guys can be slags but girls can't! |
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"The biggest double standard I have come across is the fact that it is OK for single guys to have multiple partners and sleep around but it isn't ok for single women to do the same.
Seems bonkers that that opinion is in action on a site like this. But I have met quite a few guys here who have made comment such as "I'd never take a girl on here seriously, that's proper slaggy" or "I'd never get with a girl with over 10veris (yet they had over 40)" or "I could never like a girl who gets as much attention as you do"....
So guys can be slags but girls can't! "
We tend to see the opposite.
So many men join here in secret and get absolutely hammered for it.
When ladies do it, everyone understands and says its fine.
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"
So many men join here in secret and get absolutely hammered for it.
When ladies do it, everyone understands and says its fine.
"
Yea see that a lot. Also people that get judgy over domestic arrangements. Ok. Not your thing? That's fine, pass on by. |
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"Biggest double standards I've seen are women saying they are single, no single men, looking for a naughty couple.. then after a few days chat.. the whole.. can I bring a male fwb ..
This just screams fake account run by the man using his fwbs pics..
So annoying
"
Yes we've had some few of those recently ! |
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"The biggest double standard I have come across is the fact that it is OK for single guys to have multiple partners and sleep around but it isn't ok for single women to do the same.
Seems bonkers that that opinion is in action on a site like this. But I have met quite a few guys here who have made comment such as "I'd never take a girl on here seriously, that's proper slaggy" or "I'd never get with a girl with over 10veris (yet they had over 40)" or "I could never like a girl who gets as much attention as you do"....
So guys can be slags but girls can't! "
Do.you want a hard reality check or would.you like to continue living in delusion? No skin off.my back if i tell.you the truth.
I'll.give you a hint though....you can get sex easy. Most men have to work for it.. |
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"Couple who are 50 years old but want to meet couples 18 to 49
In fairness that’s preference not double standards 🙂
Correct. I'm 39 and partner is 45. Our preference is couples our age and slightly under, not older.
It's a preference and it's not always respected.
In that case we’d say there are no double standards just preferences.
Expect face pics but won’t send - a preference.
Expects people to accommodate but won’t themselves- a preference
Everything is a preference. Can’t genuinely think of anything which is a double standard.
People shouldn't request things that they aren't willing to share themselves.
In my eyes, that is a double standard.
If you don't want to send pics, that's your preference. Don't ask others for their pictures.
"
It's still a personal preference and, by making their expectations and unwillingness to undertake specific things, in advance of any engagement, they are being transparent and honest, leaving others to make an informed decision. |
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By *sjrcMan 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
The demand for a face pic but refusal to send one themselves.
The indignation some have that I can’t accom ‘right now’, despite them not being able to accom either…. Like my profile clearly says I can’t accommodate… no need to throw a hissy fit that I can’t drop everything and have you round in the next ten mins. |
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"Our biggest pet hate.
People's profiles saying you must send a face pic with your first message.
They then reply saying they will return the picture when they feel comfortable...as they're a professional couple.
"
This for us too. So frustrating. We tend not to bother with those profiles now. |
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By *oxy jWoman 9 weeks ago
somerset |
"The demand for a face pic but refusal to send one themselves.
The indignation some have that I can’t accom ‘right now’, despite them not being able to accom either…. Like my profile clearly says I can’t accommodate… no need to throw a hissy fit that I can’t drop everything and have you round in the next ten mins. "
if someone sends us a face pic and its not to our liking then we are not going to send one back are we ????
our rule is who messages first sends first |
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Expecting what they themselves aren't willing to do or be..
Them sneaking or cheating but want your face picture.
Those requiring discretion but claim they are single and also can't accommodate.
Wanting a shaved pre puberty pussy but themselves look like a mammoth.. |
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