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Single guy syndrome

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Btw I must mention as a STRAIGHT single guy

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By *bi HaiveMan 6 days ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

No.

I was a single guy, then half a couple for a decade before becoming a single guy again.

Enjoyed both periods of my Fab life.

It's what you make it.

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By *atyric0nMan 6 days ago

Ipswich

Completely new to the community, single straight guy, here. Honestly, I'm quite enjoying it, and getting decent feedback.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 6 days ago

S. Herts

Do you imagine it’s easier for gay guys?

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Well any advice on how as a single guy? As a couple it was so easy but finding it hard as single man

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

I get approached by a lot of gay guys on here and honestly if I was gay I’d love it. Is it not easier and more fluid for you?

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 6 days ago

S. Herts


"I get approached by a lot of gay guys on here and honestly if I was gay I’d love it. Is it not easier and more fluid for you?"

They not gay mostly. They’re opportunistic for a blow job. It’s not the same thing and I have more self respect than being some secret fuck for a down low. So to answer your Q .. no

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By *izzy.Woman 6 days ago

Stoke area

Some single guys are very successful on here and others not so.

It could be your approach, who you are messaging & what you are saying, or maybe the wording, photos or video on your profile that doesn't appeal.

Have you read all the other advise given to single guys ? you can search on here and might get some helpful tips as this is asked very frequently.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry

Yes, most definitely in some respects.

I originally joined as part of a couple and interest in us came in regularly. We didn't find 'meets' worked for us, but we did make some great friends at Vanilla Alternative, so only met there. My partner moved with her job and we stopped swinging, although remain friends.

Fast forward two years and I rejoined Fab as a single guy and initially had some success, but that petered out fairly rapidly. I gave up sending messages some time ago as a result due to my inbox remaining totally empty, despite going about things in the most respectful and 'correct' of ways.

While absolutely understanding how things are for women on here the demand for guys to jump through so many hoops in the way we send messages, only for it to be met with stony, effortless silence in the other direction brought me to the conclusion that it was a complete waste of time and effort (my inbox has been almost completely empty for over five years).

On the flipside of this I decided to find a club that felt right for me and also got myself off to organised socials, both of which have proved to be extremely fruitful over a period of years, enriching my social life as well as my sexual encounters hugely .

The above being the case it's proven that staying classy and true to who I am has brought me some fantastic friends, male, female and couples. It also shows that taking time to send messages and make an effort on here is a complete waste of time, but being seen in person and have people get to know us single guys does bring success - as long as we buy into the lifestyle and not just be seen as looking to 'get our end away'. Approach and attitude is everything in a classy club.

Behaving better than the average poorly behaved single guy on here won't get you floating to the top of the pond if you're solely relying on Fab - you'll just get lost in the sea of guys with zero standards. Getting out and taking the time to get to know people (and they you) does quite the opposite.

Fab is a very negative environment for the majority of single guys, with some saying we don't belong in the lifestyle at all. If we go about things in the right, positive way (and not be a creep) then many positives can be found.

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By *r LickalotapussMan 6 days ago

London


"Yes, most definitely in some respects.

I originally joined as part of a couple and interest in us came in regularly. We didn't find 'meets' worked for us, but we did make some great friends at Vanilla Alternative, so only met there. My partner moved with her job and we stopped swinging, although remain friends.

Fast forward two years and I rejoined Fab as a single guy and initially had some success, but that petered out fairly rapidly. I gave up sending messages some time ago as a result due to my inbox remaining totally empty, despite going about things in the most respectful and 'correct' of ways.

While absolutely understanding how things are for women on here the demand for guys to jump through so many hoops in the way we send messages, only for it to be met with stony, effortless silence in the other direction brought me to the conclusion that it was a complete waste of time and effort (my inbox has been almost completely empty for over five years).

On the flipside of this I decided to find a club that felt right for me and also got myself off to organised socials, both of which have proved to be extremely fruitful over a period of years, enriching my social life as well as my sexual encounters hugely .

The above being the case it's proven that staying classy and true to who I am has brought me some fantastic friends, male, female and couples. It also shows that taking time to send messages and make an effort on here is a complete waste of time, but being seen in person and have people get to know us single guys does bring success - as long as we buy into the lifestyle and not just be seen as looking to 'get our end away'. Approach and attitude is everything in a classy club.

Behaving better than the average poorly behaved single guy on here won't get you floating to the top of the pond if you're solely relying on Fab - you'll just get lost in the sea of guys with zero standards. Getting out and taking the time to get to know people (and they you) does quite the opposite.

Fab is a very negative environment for the majority of single guys, with some saying we don't belong in the lifestyle at all. If we go about things in the right, positive way (and not be a creep) then many positives can be found."

All of this is spot on.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Brilliant reply mate. Yeah I’ve found it to be exactly as you’ve said. I have had success as as a single guy but it’s like so much effort it’s disheartening. When I was in a couple it was so easy.

My local is Xtasia but I’m a little nervous to go alone as a single guy as we’re so polarised from the rest like we don’t belong. Hey yeah we do!!!

Just a bit disappointing tbh

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Yeah I agree. What’s your experience like?

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By *he-ProfessorMan 6 days ago

cheltenham


"Yes, most definitely in some respects.

I originally joined as part of a couple and interest in us came in regularly. We didn't find 'meets' worked for us, but we did make some great friends at Vanilla Alternative, so only met there. My partner moved with her job and we stopped swinging, although remain friends.

Fast forward two years and I rejoined Fab as a single guy and initially had some success, but that petered out fairly rapidly. I gave up sending messages some time ago as a result due to my inbox remaining totally empty, despite going about things in the most respectful and 'correct' of ways.

While absolutely understanding how things are for women on here the demand for guys to jump through so many hoops in the way we send messages, only for it to be met with stony, effortless silence in the other direction brought me to the conclusion that it was a complete waste of time and effort (my inbox has been almost completely empty for over five years).

On the flipside of this I decided to find a club that felt right for me and also got myself off to organised socials, both of which have proved to be extremely fruitful over a period of years, enriching my social life as well as my sexual encounters hugely .

The above being the case it's proven that staying classy and true to who I am has brought me some fantastic friends, male, female and couples. It also shows that taking time to send messages and make an effort on here is a complete waste of time, but being seen in person and have people get to know us single guys does bring success - as long as we buy into the lifestyle and not just be seen as looking to 'get our end away'. Approach and attitude is everything in a classy club.

Behaving better than the average poorly behaved single guy on here won't get you floating to the top of the pond if you're solely relying on Fab - you'll just get lost in the sea of guys with zero standards. Getting out and taking the time to get to know people (and they you) does quite the opposite.

Fab is a very negative environment for the majority of single guys, with some saying we don't belong in the lifestyle at all. If we go about things in the right, positive way (and not be a creep) then many positives can be found."

I think this pretty much sums things up nicely from my experiences too.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

You also find it difficult?

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry


"Yes, most definitely in some respects.

I originally joined as part of a couple and interest in us came in regularly. We didn't find 'meets' worked for us, but we did make some great friends at Vanilla Alternative, so only met there. My partner moved with her job and we stopped swinging, although remain friends.

Fast forward two years and I rejoined Fab as a single guy and initially had some success, but that petered out fairly rapidly. I gave up sending messages some time ago as a result due to my inbox remaining totally empty, despite going about things in the most respectful and 'correct' of ways.

While absolutely understanding how things are for women on here the demand for guys to jump through so many hoops in the way we send messages, only for it to be met with stony, effortless silence in the other direction brought me to the conclusion that it was a complete waste of time and effort (my inbox has been almost completely empty for over five years).

On the flipside of this I decided to find a club that felt right for me and also got myself off to organised socials, both of which have proved to be extremely fruitful over a period of years, enriching my social life as well as my sexual encounters hugely .

The above being the case it's proven that staying classy and true to who I am has brought me some fantastic friends, male, female and couples. It also shows that taking time to send messages and make an effort on here is a complete waste of time, but being seen in person and have people get to know us single guys does bring success - as long as we buy into the lifestyle and not just be seen as looking to 'get our end away'. Approach and attitude is everything in a classy club.

Behaving better than the average poorly behaved single guy on here won't get you floating to the top of the pond if you're solely relying on Fab - you'll just get lost in the sea of guys with zero standards. Getting out and taking the time to get to know people (and they you) does quite the opposite.

Fab is a very negative environment for the majority of single guys, with some saying we don't belong in the lifestyle at all. If we go about things in the right, positive way (and not be a creep) then many positives can be found.

I think this pretty much sums things up nicely from my experiences too. "

Definitely the way forward!

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Ok thanks mate for your analysis. Much appreciated. Yeah I guess a lot of the time I don’t know what works do go with what we THINK is what they’ll like.

Do you mean where I say about gay men hitting on me sounds arrogant?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 6 days ago

Tamworth


"Ok thanks mate for your analysis. Much appreciated. Yeah I guess a lot of the time I don’t know what works do go with what we THINK is what they’ll like.

Do you mean where I say about gay men hitting on me sounds arrogant?"

Everything in the two sets of ** is a turn off for me as a single woman. I do none of the things you reference but it still does you no favours.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Thank you for your candid observation. Obviously I’m wanting to attract women like you and if that’s not working then I need to change it

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry


"Ok thanks mate for your analysis. Much appreciated. Yeah I guess a lot of the time I don’t know what works do go with what we THINK is what they’ll like.

Do you mean where I say about gay men hitting on me sounds arrogant?"

No, your profile photo appears that way at first look. It gives off a negative perception of you. Although I get what you're saying about gay guys it could come across as 'anti' in some ways, with you potentially leaving yourself open to being seen as a bigot. Perhaps reference it as flattering but not your cup of tea instead, or simply remove that reference completely.

Don't try to make your profile fit what you think women will want as that's being fake. Get your personality and sense of humour across instead, giving a flavour of who you are as a person. Your people will then find you and will be getting the true person you are.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Love your answer man. Tried to add you as a friend but you don’t accept lol. Anyway mate great advice

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry


"Love your answer man. Tried to add you as a friend but you don’t accept lol. Anyway mate great advice "

If you mean me I'm happy to add you Buddy.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 6 days ago

Birmingham

Yeah tried to add you mate

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 6 days ago

Coventry


"Yeah tried to add you mate "

Sent you a request.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 6 days ago

Tamworth


"Thank you for your candid observation. Obviously I’m wanting to attract women like you and if that’s not working then I need to change it "

I can see you’ve made a change. I’m a bit torn. I’m a big believer that your profile isn’t about attracting as any people as possible , it’s about highlighting you to the right, compatible, people.

But.

The reasons I’d move on if I clicked on it - the bit about pissing and squirting down your throat, it’s just too out there on initial reading. Highly sexualised profiles do nothing for me, and I don’t think I’m alone.

The photos are very dick heavy with numerous action shots. I’d find that off putting also.

Ultimately, it’s your profile and if you’re happy with it, that’s the main thing.

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By *heGreatDG OP   Man 5 days ago

Birmingham

Ok as a woman. What kind of pics do you like? I get confused because so many women talk like it’s all about the dirtiness or the dick. But then too polite is too vanilla. It’s like we can’t win either way, which is probably just a lame excuse lol.

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By *ucka39Man 5 days ago

Newcastle


"Ok as a woman. What kind of pics do you like? I get confused because so many women talk like it’s all about the dirtiness or the dick. But then too polite is too vanilla. It’s like we can’t win either way, which is probably just a lame excuse lol. "

Hiya

Try using the reply and quote per message that you wish to reply to it makes it easier to understand who you are replying to

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By *osferatu101Man 5 days ago

Ayrshire

Respect.

If you do get a meet. Hammer home to the hinge end. Make the meet a fab one.

Walking like John Wayne. Do like Dirty Harry would do, do ya feel lucky Punk

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By *ingerella About TownWoman 5 days ago

Central London

Controversial view: It's not that hard.

Most of the straight male/TV-TS (and not-straight female and definitely couples that meet women) profiles on here are one or more of introduction-free, vile or ridiculously self indulgent.

90% of your competition isn't competition. If you can just manage to be semi-literate, remotely "not awful" and maybe own some clothes you've ever been pictured in, you're already killing the profile game.

And then the standard of compatibility required for this is pretty low. So again, being half-way civilised gets you half-way there.

The last new person I went on Fab a date with had joined a couple of weeks before he messaged me. Written four consice, informative and inviting sentences, and added a single clothed pic. No group socials, no clubs, no verification, no whining. Just got on with being an appealing and positive person.

I don't think the experience was that difficult for him to be honest with you. Or at least, not until the poor man met me

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By *ingerella About TownWoman 5 days ago

Central London

I say semi-literate... *couples who. It's definitely better with less objectification!

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By *atyric0nMan 5 days ago

Ipswich

"Up for some cock face slapping and cock choking on the right bitch"

That's your current status. One wonders, has it worked? Did you get many expressions of interest?

I am no straight woman but I'm close friends with quite a few, and I've laid with an extra few, and no one, not a single one ever mentioned, in any form, being keen on referred to in such terms by a complete stranger.

Just saying.

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By *lik and PaulCouple 5 days ago

Flagrante


""Up for some cock face slapping and cock choking on the right bitch"

That's your current status. One wonders, has it worked? Did you get many expressions of interest?

I am no straight woman but I'm close friends with quite a few, and I've laid with an extra few, and no one, not a single one ever mentioned, in any form, being keen on referred to in such terms by a complete stranger.

Just saying."

Looks like the OP is looking for bitches with stinky bums which is absolutely fine if that's your thing so don't change anything but be aware this might be a bit of a niche.

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By *imply DeeWoman 5 days ago

Wherever

That would be straight on my block list, for more than one reason, sorry.

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By *ojo2joWoman 5 days ago

Penclawdd


"Btw I must mention as a STRAIGHT single guy "

I think you’re attracting guys because they’re more attracted to penis pics than (most) girls.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple 5 days ago

Bristol/ Daventry

We have some amazing single guys who have come to our group meets that we invite back for smaller 2:1 or thereabouts meets. We particularly enjoy guys who enjoy rugby and feet, even better if it’s both at the same time. One of our best meets was a group event between two World Cup games.

Being more niche, guys who are respectful, turn up, ask great questions and are chill always get invited back.

Any mention of females, cuck, bull, exceptional male etc in profiles, we just don’t entertain. They rarely show up and when they do have been problematic.

My advice; to get started consider group events and when messaging be respectful, clear and only about the meet at hand. Don’t wink and hope they message back. And avoid uninvited friend requests. But mostly be yourself; if you’re not for them, that’s okay. It’s a numbers game.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


""Up for some cock face slapping and cock choking on the right bitch"

That's your current status. One wonders, has it worked? Did you get many expressions of interest?

I am no straight woman but I'm close friends with quite a few, and I've laid with an extra few, and no one, not a single one ever mentioned, in any form, being keen on referred to in such terms by a complete stranger.

Just saying."

Yep - right on the money!

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By *ilverfox for youMan 5 days ago

Hull

I’m finding it the same .even worse as I’m over 55 !!!

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By *iss DevilWoman 5 days ago

Bedford

OP, if you want to be taken a bit more seriously on here, I'd rethink your photos and your wording on your status update. I did not get any further as those told me everything I need to know about you.

Good luck.

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By *carlettsWoman 5 days ago

Harps

Some woman hate to be called a bitch as per your status. I agree with the comments here your profile is off putting and that status speaks volumes

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By *carlettsWoman 5 days ago

Harps

[Removed by poster at 14/09/24 09:01:10]

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By *carlettsWoman 5 days ago

Harps


"OP, if you want to be taken a bit more seriously on here, I'd rethink your photos and your wording on your status update. I did not get any further as those told me everything I need to know about you.

Good luck. "

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By *toC Thats MeWoman 5 days ago

Sheffield

Sorry OP but your status would put me right off. I go to clubs for single guys and there’s plenty that are very successful on the scene.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 5 days ago

Tamworth


"Ok as a woman. What kind of pics do you like? I get confused because so many women talk like it’s all about the dirtiness or the dick. But then too polite is too vanilla. It’s like we can’t win either way, which is probably just a lame excuse lol. "

Are these woman you are attracted to and trying to attract because if so, cater to your audience. If not, take a look at the forum at the threads like torso Tuesday to get an idea of what women enjoy.

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By *wingfellowMan 5 days ago

my own little sanctuary

I think anyone can be successful on here regardless of gender, relationship status etc. So long as they're mindful of two things. First being that there's no context over anything text based so a little extra time in how you word things goes a long way. Secondly, wherever that message lands there is a human reading it.

With those two considerations I've always managed to do well. When somebody isn't properly focused on conversation that does show through text. But humour and sincerity can sometimes be lost.

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By *abioMan 5 days ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

Nope… get out what you put in… the more avenues you are open to using the more people you will come across and be able to network with!

The site is just one piece of the puzzle…

Going to clubs is another…..

So are going to social events….

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By *abioMan 5 days ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?"

You can have this one for free….

You only get one chance to make a brilliant first impression

Look at your profile….. look at your status update

Hand on heart….. would you meet you?

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?

You can have this one for free….

You only get one chance to make a brilliant first impression

Look at your profile….. look at your status update

Hand on heart….. would you meet you?"

Having seen your considered advice on here many a time, the OP could take a lot from it. Respect.

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By *abioMan 5 days ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?

You can have this one for free….

You only get one chance to make a brilliant first impression

Look at your profile….. look at your status update

Hand on heart….. would you meet you?

Having seen your considered advice on here many a time, the OP could take a lot from it. Respect. "

Thanks…. I ain’t one for spoon feeding advice, so the approach I use is that you are an adult… try actually acting like one! Lol

I am not the biggest fan of giving specifics… just because at the end of the day a big bit of the person has to be in the profile…. Ask a million people get a million different answers! Otherwise it just becomes generic nonsense..

But sometimes you have to ask yourself are you doing the best to sell yourself.. and is it the best you coming across!!

If the answer is yes… and yes… don’t change a thing

If the answer is no…. Sit down with a pen a pad and think about what you want to get across, and what type of person you’re trying to attract!

Think with the brain upstairs rather than the one downstairs!

A lot can be said for common sense, the amount of it actually used.. frighteningly low

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?

You can have this one for free….

You only get one chance to make a brilliant first impression

Look at your profile….. look at your status update

Hand on heart….. would you meet you?

Having seen your considered advice on here many a time, the OP could take a lot from it. Respect.

Thanks…. I ain’t one for spoon feeding advice, so the approach I use is that you are an adult… try actually acting like one! Lol

I am not the biggest fan of giving specifics… just because at the end of the day a big bit of the person has to be in the profile…. Ask a million people get a million different answers! Otherwise it just becomes generic nonsense..

But sometimes you have to ask yourself are you doing the best to sell yourself.. and is it the best you coming across!!

If the answer is yes… and yes… don’t change a thing

If the answer is no…. Sit down with a pen a pad and think about what you want to get across, and what type of person you’re trying to attract!

Think with the brain upstairs rather than the one downstairs!

A lot can be said for common sense, the amount of it actually used.. frighteningly low "

Boom! There it is!

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By *oiluvfunMan 5 days ago

Penrith


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

Ahh yes! Welcome to the wonderful world of single, straight, white guy in Fab lol! Have you been to a club solo yet? You must try that out sometime, to get the whole, rounded experience of feeling like one individual sperm, swimming in a shot of 60 million…..

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Ahh yes! Welcome to the wonderful world of single, straight, white guy in Fab lol! Have you been to a club solo yet? You must try that out sometime, to get the whole, rounded experience of feeling like one individual sperm, swimming in a shot of 60 million….. "

Have to say that isn't remotely my experience. I'm short, bald, distinctly average in most respects physically, am no adonis in any way, shape or form, but I've naturally developed a positive 'reputation' over time that rarely leaves me on my own at any point during a club night. It's 100% about mindset.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple 5 days ago

Coventry

I was a single guy on here (before meeting Mrs Misfit, also on here). Yes it is difficult. Not only are the ratios problematic but like in the online dating world a few guys get a disproportionate amount of intrest. It's a very competitive market. However it is what it is, it won't change. So all you can do is put your best foot forward. Personally I found it takes a bit of thought and effort but if you do it right I found you are successful enough. Nailing your photos and profile is job number one. That's the first glimpse people get of you. Then the main factor is how you talk to people and your nature.

Also as other have said (if you don't already) try a club. I did as a single guy and for me that flipped the game a bit. As a single guy it's still daunting and competitive but I found an environment when people first interaction with you is in person to be far better. It cuts out the middle man in the process of making connections and allows people to see the true you in a way that is difficult online. You just can't beat interacting in the real world. Also organised social events could be a good call too.

Mr

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By *oastal1968Man 5 days ago

London


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

Having an update of "cock choking on the right bitch" will put off a lot of people I should imagine .

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By *electableicecreamMan 5 days ago

The West

I mostly meet people at organised social events. No interest in clubs and early if ever send messages.

If your relying on messages then your presentation needs to be on point. It doesn't have to be perfect by any means as someone said above the bar is already low.

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By *andPextraCouple 5 days ago

North West

Great advice from the misfits there

I don't actively seek single men on here, mainly as most of the profiles are not detailed to tell me enough about them, or the standard of photography is abysmal. I know what a cock looks like close up thanks....

Hence, clubs are the way I go about it. Its much easier to find what I want, as I can almost interview them.

If I don't like them chatting about Tesco's or something mundane, I'm not going to like them in a sex scenario.

Contrary to what men may think it's not all about looks. Obviously, NOT looking like the back end of a bus helps, but I've turned down some male model types due to a combination of arrogance, inability to listen and generally being as thick as mince.

So an average looking fella, who is clean, had made an effort with his appearance, has some good chat, listens (not just hears what I'm saying and it going in one ear and out of the other) and shows some confidence wins often.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Ok thanks mate for your analysis. Much appreciated. Yeah I guess a lot of the time I don’t know what works do go with what we THINK is what they’ll like.

Do you mean where I say about gay men hitting on me sounds arrogant?

Everything in the two sets of ** is a turn off for me as a single woman. I do none of the things you reference but it still does you no favours. "

With apologies to Crimson Rose for 'replying' to her a good example of the way to 'go about' things as a single guy has involved her. We met around a year ago on a club night and enjoyed a great conversation/banter in the hot tub for around an hour. My read of her was that she was a gorgeous lady, but wasn't attracted to me in any way - something she confirmed during the conversation. Nevertheless the chat continued unabated until she went off to play with someone else. Fast forward to a month or so ago and we found ourselves in the same place once again, with her coming straight over to chat as soon as she recognised me and we picked up where we left off, with it being genuinely fabulous to see her again.

At this point some men would be thinking a woman actually does fancy them, or think she's changed her mind, so will try to change her mind, instead of just genuinely enjoying the company. Once again Rose went off to enjoy the company of another of my great friends later on, but it was fabulous to catch up.

Does it sting a little having someone you find attractive go off with others, while leaving you? Yes, of course, but it isn't a case of taking it to heart. What actually happens is that just being genuinely decent company, while having a bit of class in remaining true to yourself leaves someone with a positive opinion, which translates from person to person in other conversations over time - something which happens naturally, rather than very forced. Even knowing I'll never have the opportunity to play with Rose, I'll absolutely look forward to bumping into her again. It should be about building connections and friendships, not just looking to 'get off'.

None of us is for everyone and my average looks mean a lot of women won't even look at me, but having people get to know me without things being 'forced' has naturally evolved into interest from some fabulous ladies, with the consent/encouragement of their male partners, who I'm also proud to call my friends.

Might not be the way everyone wants to go, but this has definitely worked out for me.

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By *otTheMessiah86Man 5 days ago

Stockton


"Yeah tried to add you mate

Sent you a request."

Would you mind sending me friend request too mate? Wouldn’t mind seeking your advice

Thanks if you can

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple 5 days ago

Coventry


"Great advice from the misfits there

I don't actively seek single men on here, mainly as most of the profiles are not detailed to tell me enough about them, or the standard of photography is abysmal. I know what a cock looks like close up thanks....

Hence, clubs are the way I go about it. Its much easier to find what I want, as I can almost interview them.

If I don't like them chatting about Tesco's or something mundane, I'm not going to like them in a sex scenario.

Contrary to what men may think it's not all about looks. Obviously, NOT looking like the back end of a bus helps, but I've turned down some male model types due to a combination of arrogance, inability to listen and generally being as thick as mince.

So an average looking fella, who is clean, had made an effort with his appearance, has some good chat, listens (not just hears what I'm saying and it going in one ear and out of the other) and shows some confidence wins often. "

That's an interesting point on looks. Often guys blame looks (although sometimes I think it's used to scapegoat other deficiencies in character or aproach). Anyway from many years on the club scene we've got to know that there a few men who get the majority of the action. And although being easy on the eye is never a bad thing it's not the main factor. We've seen many guys who are real fine male specimens looks wise who don't get much of a look in. On the whole most of the guys we know who do well and are well regarded on the scene are just normal guys with a range of body shapes and sizes of penis (say this because some guys also get obsessed by blaming penis size). In my experience the main factor to success is character and how a guy approaches and deports him self. The guys who genrally do well are up beat, pleasant and just comfortable in their own skin. They tend to have that golden skill of being able to read the room.

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By *ince1965Man 5 days ago

Ilkeston


"Do you imagine it’s easier for gay guys? "

I know it is having dated one.

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By *jk1978Couple 5 days ago

Cheshire

We were meant to be having mmf yesterday but n was waiting for flight home from working away and wasn’t getting back in time, but because the guy was decent in his approach and not sent one dick pic and we had all chatted and were comfortable we decided it would still continue as k,a first solo while n watched it live form airport, so there’s hope for all men on here,

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 5 days ago

S. Herts


"Do you imagine it’s easier for gay guys?

I know it is having dated one."

I am one. And it isn’t.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Yeah tried to add you mate

Sent you a request.

Would you mind sending me friend request too mate? Wouldn’t mind seeking your advice

Thanks if you can"

Done mate. I'm not the Messiah either by the way!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Great advice from the misfits there

I don't actively seek single men on here, mainly as most of the profiles are not detailed to tell me enough about them, or the standard of photography is abysmal. I know what a cock looks like close up thanks....

Hence, clubs are the way I go about it. Its much easier to find what I want, as I can almost interview them.

If I don't like them chatting about Tesco's or something mundane, I'm not going to like them in a sex scenario.

Contrary to what men may think it's not all about looks. Obviously, NOT looking like the back end of a bus helps, but I've turned down some male model types due to a combination of arrogance, inability to listen and generally being as thick as mince.

So an average looking fella, who is clean, had made an effort with his appearance, has some good chat, listens (not just hears what I'm saying and it going in one ear and out of the other) and shows some confidence wins often.

That's an interesting point on looks. Often guys blame looks (although sometimes I think it's used to scapegoat other deficiencies in character or aproach). Anyway from many years on the club scene we've got to know that there a few men who get the majority of the action. And although being easy on the eye is never a bad thing it's not the main factor. We've seen many guys who are real fine male specimens looks wise who don't get much of a look in. On the whole most of the guys we know who do well and are well regarded on the scene are just normal guys with a range of body shapes and sizes of penis (say this because some guys also get obsessed by blaming penis size). In my experience the main factor to success is character and how a guy approaches and deports him self. The guys who genrally do well are up beat, pleasant and just comfortable in their own skin. They tend to have that golden skill of being able to read the room. "

Thank you - that's put it so much better than I did!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 5 days ago

Tamworth


"

That's an interesting point on looks. Often guys blame looks (although sometimes I think it's used to scapegoat other deficiencies in character or aproach). Anyway from many years on the club scene we've got to know that there a few men who get the majority of the action. And although being easy on the eye is never a bad thing it's not the main factor. We've seen many guys who are real fine male specimens looks wise who don't get much of a look in. On the whole most of the guys we know who do well and are well regarded on the scene are just normal guys with a range of body shapes and sizes of penis (say this because some guys also get obsessed by blaming penis size). In my experience the main factor to success is character and how a guy approaches and deports him self. The guys who genrally do well are up beat, pleasant and just comfortable in their own skin. They tend to have that golden skill of being able to read the room. "

This is so true. There has to be a level of attraction but what so many don’t understand is that this isn’t just about looks.

One of my pet hates is a ‘hi’ message from a next to blank profile with a single photo (often a cock pic). How am I supposed to gauge attraction and compatibility from that?!

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By *uriouscouple2010Couple 5 days ago

Birmingham


"

That's an interesting point on looks. Often guys blame looks (although sometimes I think it's used to scapegoat other deficiencies in character or aproach). Anyway from many years on the club scene we've got to know that there a few men who get the majority of the action. And although being easy on the eye is never a bad thing it's not the main factor. We've seen many guys who are real fine male specimens looks wise who don't get much of a look in. On the whole most of the guys we know who do well and are well regarded on the scene are just normal guys with a range of body shapes and sizes of penis (say this because some guys also get obsessed by blaming penis size). In my experience the main factor to success is character and how a guy approaches and deports him self. The guys who genrally do well are up beat, pleasant and just comfortable in their own skin. They tend to have that golden skill of being able to read the room.

This is so true. There has to be a level of attraction but what so many don’t understand is that this isn’t just about looks.

One of my pet hates is a ‘hi’ message from a next to blank profile with a single photo (often a cock pic). How am I supposed to gauge attraction and compatibility from that?! "

Absolutely agree with this. Those messages go straight in the deleted for us. Agree with your other points about the OP’s profile as well, if that’s the kind of woman they want then they should keep the profile and status as it is but I wouldn’t expect much of a response. As a couple we look for literate, respectful guys that can actually hold a conversation and understand it’s not all about the dick!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman 5 days ago

Tamworth


" As a couple we look for literate, respectful guys that can actually hold a conversation and understand it’s not all about the dick! "

Completely agree. I think many are the same - of course there are dozens of variations but I don’t think we’re alone!!

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By *andPextraCouple 5 days ago

North West

I think where lots go wrong is they write to me, like they are doing ME a favour, or with so little effort in they either naively or in a tine deaf manner misunderstand the dynamic on here.

Which is.

For every woman or couple there are hundreds, if not thousands of men.

Watch the Ashley Maddison documentary on a streaming platform. If here follows the similar ratios as that, men would wince if they acknowledged it.

Hence, successful ones have to find the sweet spot of bio, looks, photo and chat.

Undoubtedly not easy

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By *linky1Couple 5 days ago

Sittingbourne

I appreciate that it is tongue in cheek.

But the word Bitch in a profile is a bit jarring.

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By *opper VibesWoman 5 days ago

Southend


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

"

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day.

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By *23bbcMan 5 days ago

Romford

At the OP private meets are harder than club meets. But you are in the right area. Both xtasia and chams are great to meet up with naughty women and couples! My advice is to go to those clubs regularly!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day. "

If there was an applause emoji I'd just have posted a load of them here!

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 5 days ago

S. Herts


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day.

If there was an applause emoji I'd just have posted a load of them here! "

👏 👏👏👏

Like these - you can use standard phone emojis in here

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day.

If there was an applause emoji I'd just have posted a load of them here!

👏 👏👏👏

Like these - you can use standard phone emojis in here "

Ooooooohhhhh - I didn't know that! Thank you!!

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By *idnightMuseWoman 5 days ago

Dreamville

If I'm going to have sex with someone it's going to be someone I feel safe and respected with. All that requires is just taking an interest in me, my wellbeing and my pleasure.

Literally just be a normal human person and it'll put you above 99% of the sex-starved, mysoginistic incels on here. Jesus Christ, it's really not that fucking hard...

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By *lowupdollTV/TS 5 days ago

S. Herts


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day.

If there was an applause emoji I'd just have posted a load of them here!

👏 👏👏👏

Like these - you can use standard phone emojis in here

Ooooooohhhhh - I didn't know that! Thank you!! "

👍

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

Having taken a look at your profile it's off-putting as another single, straight guy, so I'd suggest it's absolutely going to turn a lot of good women off too.

Your profile looks like you're sneering, suggesting arrogance and up your own arse. That's not a good look to many women.

Secondly far too many of your photos are of your cock. Women want to meet a person, not an appendage. It suggests you're saying there's nothing to you but that, so youre not selling yourself/doing yourself justice. (Maybe keep one or two, but get rid of (or hide the rest for friends only)).

As for using photos with another womans face in is highly likely to suggest you don't respect women. Again not a good look.

Maybe chat to some female friends from Fab, (or strangers on here if not) and find out what makes for a good profile. (Keep the body shot - that's definitely going to look attractive to women I'd suggest).

1000000% this. You might be the nicest guy on the planet but I don’t get that from your bio. Swinging isn’t all about sex. A large part of this lifestyle is the social element and the way you put yourself out there to the community doesn’t scream ‘I’m a decent guy’, I just feel completely objectified and grossed out by the vulgarity. If this is what you’re putting out there publicly then I can only imagine what your messages look like. If you don’t already, I’d also advise spending some time reading and understanding the profiles of the women you’re messaging and send something that shows you’re worth their time of day. "

Have to say, although I've posted a load of positive stuff on here it's also true to say that just getting a message/reply on Fab has proved almost impossible, despite trying to be very much a gentleman in my approach. Fab is a desert for many, many men, including all of the good guys I know. We are expected to jump through every possible hoop, but are also told to suck up stony silence on a protracted basis in return. It's not a wonder that so many give up, or think there's something wrong with them - not including the morons with desperately unpleasant approaches to messaging and/or lacking respect for women.

Attending organised socials and clubs really does prove a game-changer, but won't necessarily provide intimate 1-1 liaisons. In the end guys have to accept how it is, leave, or go mad trying. I've been lucky ultimately, particularly as I'm a very ordinary kinda guy.

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By *uenevereWoman 5 days ago

Scunthorpe


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

Having read your profile, I suspect that many women on here are looking for a more vanilla meet than you seem to be seeking.

That's not to say nobody will be interested, but it's a much smaller pool to start with.

You might want to try more kink leaning sites.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple 5 days ago

Coventry

Message wise I think unsuccessful messages fall into 3 categories genrally:

Cat A: A terible message. Be that just totally tone deaf, way off the mark, clealy copy and paste (because copy and paste genrally doesn't come across well or is not even relevant) or just nasty. Or there is the ones that just say Hi. That doesn't genrally work for us and at the end of the day if you just wanted to make you presence known isn't that what winks are for?

Cat B: Reasonable and respectful enough messages but what is being said or proposed isn't our cup of tea.

Cat C: A good solid messages but after looking at the profile they're just not for us or it's so blank we don't have anything to go off.

I totally get peoples frustration when they put effort into a message and get nothing positive back. Something I've experience as a single. However you have to remember it's the nature of the beast. Just because you put effort into sending an unsolicited message people don't owe you anything for a message they didn't ask for. Also to add every good encounter I've had from massaging first came off the back of a decent opening message.

Mr

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By *haveanicevoiceMan 5 days ago

Soggy Middle-Earth (Cumbria)

to be a single male,

to never get a mail,

try and give a hail,

and all that would entail,

all you can do is wail,

and wonder why you fail,

try until you're frail,

or maybe you should bail,

and have a cocktail,

sorry to derail

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By *eroLondonMan 5 days ago

Mayfair


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene?... ...as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets"

No, I don't find it difficult at all. That's probably because I've created a profile that, I suspect, appeals to a proportion of women who will align with what I've written and feel somewhat piqued by my photographs. I'm not one for displaying photos of my penis. I'm not a fan of displaying photos or videos of me having sex with women. Clearly I have sex with women but I don't feel the need to display it in inglorious technicolour on my profile. (Thankfully I have no such content anyway)

Crass status updates? That's a sure fire way to close the door to any potential opportunities.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Message wise I think unsuccessful messages fall into 3 categories genrally:

Cat A: A terible message. Be that just totally tone deaf, way off the mark, clealy copy and paste (because copy and paste genrally doesn't come across well or is not even relevant) or just nasty. Or there is the ones that just say Hi. That doesn't genrally work for us and at the end of the day if you just wanted to make you presence known isn't that what winks are for?

Cat B: Reasonable and respectful enough messages but what is being said or proposed isn't our cup of tea.

Cat C: A good solid messages but after looking at the profile they're just not for us or it's so blank we don't have anything to go off.

I totally get peoples frustration when they put effort into a message and get nothing positive back. Something I've experience as a single. However you have to remember it's the nature of the beast. Just because you put effort into sending an unsolicited message people don't owe you anything for a message they didn't ask for. Also to add every good encounter I've had from massaging first came off the back of a decent opening message.

Mr"

All of this is absolutely relevant to many guys on here. The last one is with me definitely, which is why istopped bothering some time ago. Complete waste of everyone's time for the vast majority of the time. I suspect response rates over the 3 - 4 years I was messaging was around 2%, with most of those being a 'thanks but no thanks'. I've always advocated the socials/clubs route as it's far better for everyone in every respect. Nothing to recommend Fab for for a single guy, unless it's to publish verifications once a good reputation has been established. In the last five years I've had nothing but positive vibes, whereas on Fab it was nothing but negative ones. Makes sense to go with positivity. The above being true it's also true that on here is great as part of a couple, which I was for three years. Great times. Horses for courses really.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 5 days ago

Coventry


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene?... ...as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

No, I don't find it difficult at all. That's probably because I've created a profile that, I suspect, appeals to a proportion of women who will align with what I've written and feel somewhat piqued by my photographs. I'm not one for displaying photos of my penis. I'm not a fan of displaying photos or videos of me having sex with women. Clearly I have sex with women but I don't feel the need to display it in inglorious technicolour on my profile. (Thankfully I have no such content anyway)

Crass status updates? That's a sure fire way to close the door to any potential opportunities."

All of which is borne out by a great profile! Bravo my man!

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By *ongAndThick123Man 5 days ago

Leeds


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene?... ...as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

No, I don't find it difficult at all. That's probably because I've created a profile that, I suspect, appeals to a proportion of women who will align with what I've written and feel somewhat piqued by my photographs. I'm not one for displaying photos of my penis. I'm not a fan of displaying photos or videos of me having sex with women. Clearly I have sex with women but I don't feel the need to display it in inglorious technicolour on my profile. (Thankfully I have no such content anyway)

Crass status updates? That's a sure fire way to close the door to any potential opportunities.

All of which is borne out by a great profile! Bravo my man!"

He’s lying btw.

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By *7VYMan 5 days ago

Orbit


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

If you're looking for something to blame then blame the overflow of 'normal' people that aren't actually swingers or nowhere near close to it overflow from grindr, tindr or even facebook for that matter.. most people here do not belong and those are usually the types to be beggy on the forums or leave silently and close the door on their way out..

If you want it you gotta go and get it these days or you won't, anybody that lands in my inbox knows this, very few have met and most get shifted on because this site has been filled with desperate 'right now I need help having a wank' kind of people and because of that the better kinds of open people are now much more exclusive an a lot of that minority is limited.

I use this site on 3 profiles and neither one has a hard time finding meets and I have met many people that made it to my contacts list but just as I, they also need a lil bit of what this site does not offer..

The world is full of adults throwing their dummy out the pram, if you gotta ask then you've obviously asked all the wrong questions prior, coz clearly you haven't said the right thing....

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By *uddleWithCraigMan 5 days ago

Wolverhampton or Travels

How do you find sending out the first initial message, what details do you put in or approach the single lady?

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By *weelightMan 4 days ago

Southport

Anything online is 80% genetics. If you get past that part, you might get a message. The thresholds are lower in real life, since, decorum and real social etiquette comes to play that changes the dynamic.

Ya'll just a bunch of binary code with dick picks on here, until you meet. Only the sexiest and most appealing window dressing are going to get the attention.

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By *alleyDaveMan 4 days ago

Sheffield


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?"

Almost 3 years on here now for me, and no meets what so ever.

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By *7VYMan 4 days ago

Orbit


"Had many private meets as a single guy? What’s your formula?

Almost 3 years on here now for me, and no meets what so ever. "

That's almost tragic but I totally understand why

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By * and R cple4Couple 4 days ago

swansea

We know their are nice decent single men on here we've met alot through group socials and clubs.

We've given up looking on here tho and we have our filters on.

We just don't have the time or patience to go through stupid amounts of messages hoping that in amongst all the weird and insulting and the messages totally ignoring my husband that we might find 1 decent message.

I understand that socials and clubs are not for everyone but I think as a single man cutting out the middle man (fab) would definitely improve your chances..

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By *obletonMan 4 days ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Another thing to consider is simply getting lucky over your timing.

Right now I'm talking to 2 women and 1 couple about potentially meeting.

What with my work and regular social life commitments, and theirs, three quality conversations is about all I can manage - and as a result of said real life commitments from both sides, it's looking like some of those meets won't be happening for quite some time, if they happen at all.

I'm not being negative about that - just realistic - there's only a finite number of hours in the day we can dedicate to the Fab compartment of our lives.

So quite often the lack of interest you experience isn't in fact a lack of interest in YOU per se - it's a lack of interest in watering down the quality of the communication that is already under way, and/or putting too much effort into a possible meet that might be months away.

So not only do your message, pics, and profile need to be on point, but they need to be on point at the precise moment which the other party has an opening for someone new.

The bright side of this is that unless you've has a very explicit expression of disinterest - there's no harm in reaching out again to people who have previously blanked you - with a quality message of course.

I appreciate that's a bit of a controversial take and a lot of people will tell you that an unanswered message IS in fact an explicit expression of disinterest - but in my experience that is absolutely not the case.

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By *oiluvfunMan 4 days ago

Penrith


"We know their are nice decent single men on here we've met alot through group socials and clubs.

We've given up looking on here tho and we have our filters on.

We just don't have the time or patience to go through stupid amounts of messages hoping that in amongst all the weird and insulting and the messages totally ignoring my husband that we might find 1 decent message.

I understand that socials and clubs are not for everyone but I think as a single man cutting out the middle man (fab) would definitely improve your chances.. "

I’ve been to 8 clubs across the NW and NE as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. Whilst I have enjoyed a modicum of ‘success’, I would never recommend the club scene to a mate, as a way of meeting likeminded people for friendly fun. Indeed, if a man ever wanted to feel like he was wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, you’ll have no better place than a swinger club to experience this phenomenon……

Fab has always been a far better way for me to meet people over the years, and being 1 1/2 hours drive from the nearest club to me, nobody can argue it’s ‘easier’ to just go to a club. Don’t get me started on solo guy entry fees either….. Fab is definitely a level playing field as far as membership fees goes…

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By *heHookyMonsterMan 4 days ago

Coventry


"We know their are nice decent single men on here we've met alot through group socials and clubs.

We've given up looking on here tho and we have our filters on.

We just don't have the time or patience to go through stupid amounts of messages hoping that in amongst all the weird and insulting and the messages totally ignoring my husband that we might find 1 decent message.

I understand that socials and clubs are not for everyone but I think as a single man cutting out the middle man (fab) would definitely improve your chances.. "

This is SO true!

Fab is a minefield populated by many thousands of single guys, who mostly have zero understanding of the lifestyle and have absolutely no intention of wanting to. As a result couples - and particularly single women - are bombarded by braindead morons who just want someone to get them off. As a result guys who ARE good and who do go about things in a positive and respectful way are either lost in a sea of apathy and negativity. Women also know they don't need to make any effort with regards to Fab either, which doesn't help.

As a results of the above I stopped messaging over three years ago and have felt much better about myself as a result. I know my profile is a respectful and decent one and average twenty views (that I'm aware of) a week and assume that the fact that my inbox is empty means I'm not good enough. This doesn't deter me from my day to day life and I do really well in my local clubs.

One rule I do have though is to never play or give any real time to anyone who's shown an interest in the club, but has completely blanked me previously if I've sent them a message prior and been deemed not good enough. Feels kinda hypocritical to me. I also find it odd when those self-same women then get arsey with me for saying no - not that it's a regular occurrence by any means. For me it's just a self-respect check for myself. I know my worth and am comfortable in my own skin.

I would say that I do feel good guys shouldn't suffer due to the hard of thinking ones, but the fact is that's how it is - and always will be. If a man can't accept that and take it on the chin this might not be the best place for him. Remaining respectful and dignified in the face of rejection should also be a given for any man.

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By *harAndBryCouple 4 days ago

nr Stamford


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene? I’ve been a couple here and had loads of fun. But as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets "

It's not easy for couples either - 75% of our meets don't turn up; we message guys but get one word replies; no-one reads profiles.

We're not your target market due to age I think, and you've not asked for profile advice, but looking at your pics and text, we'd not message.

(Bry)

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By *moothGrooveWoman 3 days ago

Durham

I don't have many issues and the gentlemen I'm friends with don't seem to either.

I think you maybe need to look at your profile and your expectations on the back of it. In my experience, you're not going to attract women on the strength of your bio or status

IMO the whole thing waves up that many red flags I'd most likely block you before replying.

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By *ojorising40Man 3 days ago

sunderland

I've found the ratios brutal on here tbh. I'm decent craic, don't think I'm ugly , decent craic but jesus it's hard graft on here..

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By *atyric0nMan 3 days ago

Ipswich

It's not too bad.

I am of average looks, my banter is ok, I am normally endowed.

Considering what I'm reading around the forums, I think 3 meets in my very first 5 weeks on here is a decent result, for a single white male in one of the "driest" areas of the country.

It's certainly MUCH, MUCH better than the "dating" apps. Less time wasters, and most people here are actually interested in meeting.

If you expect to get laid at a snap of your fingers with someone you've never met, it's going to be much harder, because of so many reasons (trust, logistics, free time, etc). Unless you're into dogging, of course (not my cuppa).

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By *inja 636Man 2 days ago

Grays

Long live the single guy

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By *trueceltMan 2 days ago

Carms

I prefer to call myself a bachelor. Other people use more colourful words... But the ratios here make it difficult. I make things difficult too (verifications set to private) but speaking honestly, some people use those ratios to their advantage, to conduct themselves in a manner that simply would not occur were it not for those ratios.

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By *eroLondonMan 2 days ago

Mayfair


"Do any other single guys find it difficult to be taken serious in this scene?... ...as a single guy it becomes near impossible to set up meets

No, I don't find it difficult at all. That's probably because I've created a profile that, I suspect, appeals to a proportion of women who will align with what I've written and feel somewhat piqued by my photographs. I'm not one for displaying photos of my penis. I'm not a fan of displaying photos or videos of me having sex with women. Clearly I have sex with women but I don't feel the need to display it in inglorious technicolour on my profile. (Thankfully I have no such content anyway)

Crass status updates? That's a sure fire way to close the door to any potential opportunities.

·

All of which is borne out by a great profile! Bravo my man!

·

He’s lying btw."

🙄

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By *pslad99Man 20 hours ago

colchester

Took me over a year to get a meet but just go with the flow simple.

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