FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Do people read Profile
Do people read Profile
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Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
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Honestly I'm assuming it's just a numbers game situation most of the time. Cast a wide net with a copy and paste message that maybe gets tweaked and hope that it catches someone's attention.
Obviously it would be better to cultivate a message to someone's profile but in somes eyes they could put a lot of effort into a message and get exactly the same response (or lack of one)... So they end up going down the numbers game. Annoying but just the way it is. Easy to recognise and move on though at least. |
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By *riciaWoman 3 weeks ago
Blaydon |
I have what I would like to think is an "unusual" profile pic.
So at the end of my profile I ask a question about it.
Probably 80% of the replies I get do not reference this, and I therefore I presume that they did not actually read to the end of the profile.
It is a useful filter though! |
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Those very keen people get all excited seeing someone online and after looking at a few pics they message, hoping it will get ready, personally I'm a bit mmm about it all and hardly ever message anyone |
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By *WB85Man 3 weeks ago
Staffordshire |
I always do....what's the point investing time and effort into somebody that wants different things.
It amazes us how many couples send messages to our couples account that haven't read the profile either. It's like people can't see past a profile picture. |
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I just block and delete its so plain to see what i request on my profile but still every other message contains attached pics of some kind its very tiresome now and i think just rude not to read a profile |
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We had started to assume profile text or preferences don't actually appear for single males to see  , so it's nice to see one or two in here confirming it does 
As for the couples messages in the early hours, we assumed the brains of the outfit was snugly tucked away in bed getting her beauty sleep  |
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Thank you for your comments some positive and some negative. It's interesting to see it's singles and couples that has the issue. I may do a quick experiment and take my pictures down and see if people read it 🤔 🤣🤣. I dought it.
Time to charge things I think. Block list may get bigger every soon |
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By *an hjCouple 3 weeks ago
Stowmarket |
"A good 80% haven't read ours. Our block list is forever expanding per day. Hope there isn't a cap on block lists 🤣🤣🤣
Think mine is too. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️"
Totally agree, could even be higher than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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We read profiles to get a feel for what they're looking for. Its not the be all and end all but it does help give a little indication on what they're looking for. |
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"We read profiles to get a feel for what they're looking for. Its not the be all and end all but it does help give a little indication on what they're looking for."
Totally that is my point. As an example if they were in hard BDSM I would not message as that's not my thing. You get a feel for the person and there personal preference and likes |
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"Latest one that's irritating me is couples messaging our account. Asking if the male can meet my wife.
Ready the fucking profile.....it quite clearly states what were looking for. "
💯 behind you on that one. I am not wasting my time if you can not be bothered. They will just get blocked. |
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By *r TriomanMan 3 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
If I'm messaging someone it's only because I've read their profile and believe that they meet my needs and I meet their and that I think that there a very good chance that we'd get on well together; I'm dyslexic though so sometimes I miss read things but I do try very hard to make sure that I haven't. |
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By *tew008Man 3 weeks ago
edinburgh |
"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
I do but it doesn’t really change outcomes |
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"I have what I would like to think is an "unusual" profile pic.
So at the end of my profile I ask a question about it.
Probably 80% of the replies I get do not reference this, and I therefore I presume that they did not actually read to the end of the profile.
It is a useful filter though!"
I would guess 3 people in your profile picture |
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When I'm in a completely bratty or arsey mood, and I get a question like "what are you into" or "what are you looking for" I will ask them if they have been looked at my profile, or if they just looked at the pictures. All the answers to those questions are on my profile... mind you I can always tell who has read it too... "what's the name you like to be called" I'm not telling you unless I'm gonna meet you 🙄🙄🙄
So yeah, i think people actually reading and taking note of what is on there is very few and far between...  |
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"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
Yes, I always read the profile, for all the reasons you outline and in case there is a like or request I don't cover (eg bbc = not me). I find profiles far more acurate than pictures for gauging someone I'll like and get on with.
Does it reduce the number of rejections - no, not that I'm aware of, but it does reduce the number of people I put time into writing to. |
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"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
I always read the profile but it is so disheartening when you then craft a message specifically showing where your interests align and then send it, to see the person has gone off-line and it remains yellow and unread until it disappears with time.
So nowadays I often do a couple of sentences to show I’ve read the profile and add a more generic ‘cut and paste’ about me - then also watch as it stays yellow and unread…  |
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Based on message we get I’d say 95% don’t read it at all (so we get random friend requests, smokers, meet right now etc- all things we specifically ask not for) and then our pet hate- “what you looking for”
READ
THE
BLOODY
PROFILE  |
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People don't and won't, the ones that don't won't be reading or responding to this post.
Many will mass message in the hope someone will get their dick wet regardless of the profile or preferences. |
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"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
I do, thoroughly so. I even messaged people without meeting one minor "requirement", but I clearly stated I was aware of it and made my case for having gotten in touch anyway. I got "forgiven" on most occasions (and politely turned down on the others).
From all the complaints I read on the forum, I do believe many single guys really underestimate the power of a decent (as in, civilised, nothing you wouldn't tell your new neighbour... almost 😈), well-composed first message. Not that mine are perfect, mind you, but for being a newbie and a single male, I'd say I've gotten a pretty satisfying rate of people engaging in conversation. |
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My experience of this is that some people don't believe the profile text applies to them.
As every conversation I've had here in 8 years has been with women and couples I can only speak about their attitudes.
I haven't sent an opening message in 4½ years so when others message me they often start in with a list of instructions of things I must to in order to meet them or fuck the wife.
They ignore the fact I'm not meeting and when I am it will only happen after chatting for quite a while but they still insist on meeting now.
They have in the past ignored the fact that I'm straight and told me if I agree to play bi they will add me to their to-do list for future events.
Some have acknowledged that they didn't read my bio because after all it's just bullshit anyway as men don't have options on fab and should be grateful for any attention especially at my age.
Some women have asked me to make exceptions for them, travel ridiculously long distances because they are worth it and in one case told me to dump anyone holding me back on fab and start fucking for fun.
I'm sure there are lots of men who have unreasonable expectations but the level of entitlement it takes to tell a complete stranger in a first message to lose the beard or you'll never touch me or resort to the old favourite "Do you seriously not know who we are and how we can end your fab journey?" when I refuse is beyond comprehension.
Some people are lazy about reading profiles but some are above the need to as they believe their status entitles them to priority boarding. |
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Just want to add - it's not just single guys. We find that single women and couples are actually worse (granted most of them are single guys pretending) and can only assume they think they're special so don't need to read profiles.
Of the messages we get, those from single guys are probably 50% one word, crude rubbish showing no sign of reading our profile. Of those we get from couples or single women, 90% are one word, crude rubbish.
(Bry) |
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"I have what I would like to think is an "unusual" profile pic.
So at the end of my profile I ask a question about it.
Probably 80% of the replies I get do not reference this, and I therefore I presume that they did not actually read to the end of the profile.
It is a useful filter though!"
If we were to write you I would start the message saying I have no F-ing clue how many, the photo is certainly unusual. I'd guess two, but it could be one, just you... Hard to say... |
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I've got two rules written in my profile blurb. I am very clear that if a rule is broken, you will be blocked. I still have to block at least ten people a week because they have broken both rules. I tell them why they're being blocked before I do it, and had a guy a few days ago begging me to change my mind and give him a chance. He sent 8 messages in under 5 minutes, and when I said I didn't want to talk to him, I suddenly became too fat and ugly and a stuck up bitch. |
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Always read the profile, as it is there for a reason, also gives you a chance to find that couple/ lady who might like the same sort of kinky stuff as yourself. No point I’m trying to go all out kinky as hell if they are vanilla or vice versa |
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I always read them, however I have had guys tell me that they don't read the profiles anymore because it doesn't make a difference. Whilst I disagree with this, I do see where they're coming from. They spend their time reading a long description, then they construct a message tailored to the profile description, then they get ignored or message deleted
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I no longer read profiles unless messaged first (never happens).
BUT I don't meaaage anymore either UNLESS I've already met the person or persons at a club or social event and spent time talking....or more 
I'm picky, there's to much time wasting on here and I really can't be chewed anymore trying to work.out if a random Internet stranger is being polite to me, just enjoying attention or is genuinly intrested in meeting.
Anyway it's.more.fun if women chase me, not the other way around.
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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As has been said, perception of how many people don't read the profile but message anyway even if you're incompatible is skewed by the fact that you'll never be aware of the people that DO read the profile, see you weren't what they were looking for, and therefore don't message.
All that being said it can be frustrating when people don't. My kinks are quite niche, so I mention them so it isn't a surprise down the line. I also try to emphasise I don't do the 'meet now' type meets.
Basically I hope that by having my profile read, people that I'm never going to mesh with don't have their time wasted. |
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"Based on message we get I’d say 95% don’t read it at all (so we get random friend requests, smokers, meet right now etc- all things we specifically ask not for) and then our pet hate- “what you looking for”
READ
Love your reply
THE
BLOODY
PROFILE "
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By *essTTWoman 2 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
Not just men, women and couples are also very guilty of not reading profiles |
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By *luttTV/TS 2 weeks ago
Duns |
My profile isn’t long - but it does have one specific request in it so that I can see that people have read all four sentences of it.
I’ve just blocked someone who made it to five messages (all without any reply from me) without doing it! Doesn’t fab come up with a big warning sign too if you keep messaging without a reply? |
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"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
I will admit that when I first came to this site, I was not always good at the profile reading. Since then, I have appreciated the work that goes into a solid profile, and that you will never get anywhere with a person that is not after the same as you. Therefore, sending a wink or a message is really pointless plus can be frustrating to them.
Hopefully, I have learnt my lesson now. Not only do I read profiles, but I have worked to make mine a simpler and better read for anyone kind enough to check mine out.
Fab is for like minded people that match needs, and not a cheap knocking shop where you get exactly what you like all the time |
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Ours, as some people have said, is quite long and possibly "too long".
However, as a couple you do tend to get quite a lot of messages daily - other couples will atest - and we felt a longer profile may hopefully cut down on the usual questions people had asked previously if we included it in our profile at the beginning.
Some people do, although we still have quite a few who have clearly read what they "want to read". |
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By *renzMan 1 week ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
"
I think the majority of guys come on when they're horny so aren't always thinking with their brain! Personally I will always read a profile before looking at the photos. It's no good looking at photos only to discover in the text there's something that discounts you. Like yours for instance, you don't like hairy men, so that would rule me out and I wouldn't message. But that's me. |
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"Please can I ask a general question especially for the guys on this site. Why do you not read people's profiles? Does it not make it easier to know what the person is looking for and also to not get rejected. We have profiles for a reason to write what we like and don't like as we all have personal preferences so why do people not read them.
I'm so confused. 🤔🤔🤔🤔
I think the majority of guys come on when they're horny so aren't always thinking with their brain! Personally I will always read a profile before looking at the photos. It's no good looking at photos only to discover in the text there's something that discounts you. Like yours for instance, you don't like hairy men, so that would rule me out and I wouldn't message. But that's me. "
I have no clue what the majority of guys are feeling when they come on here. I only the way I'm feeling. |
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I find it funny that everyone assumes we don't read profiles there are some of us single fellas that actually do read them and make the effort only to be ignored I've learnt to take it on the chin but it's just funny how all single fellas get painted with the same brush |
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We did a count on the numbers who did read our profile.
About 5%.
Single guys are the worst offenders but not by much.
We always respond asking why they didn't read our profile in full.
Most say they did but when asked to read it over again they say oh sorry didn't see that bit.
How they respond is how we go forward.
We always say thanks so much for reading our profile for those who do.
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I will skim read, and then go back in detail if the profile is well written and of interest. I presume that the profile is a summary, and a route to discussion and chat. I feel that some are so comprehensive that they start to become forbidding and an end in themselves. I would prefer to read about what a person likes rather than a list of activities that will get a person banned. |
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As an example of no they don't.
Last message we received.
Outside our age range, miles away, suggesting a very specific sex act I make no reference to at all in our profile and asking for things that I could not marry up to our profile (i.e no clue how they thought we’d be interested)
My best guess is he never got past the photo gallery.
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"As an example of no they don't.
Last message we received.
Outside our age range, miles away, suggesting a very specific sex act I make no reference to at all in our profile and asking for things that I could not marry up to our profile (i.e no clue how they thought we’d be interested)
My best guess is he never got past the photo gallery.
"
In fairness it's a very distracting and sexy photo gallery. Poor fella! |
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By *r TriomanMan 1 week ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Hi OP, I'm confused too, I've read your profile, it's a little long but easy to understand; basically, it's don't, don't, don't... Do not, will not, and guys must have a great body, no curves, oh and some legal stuff. You seem to have resisted the urge to add a message to Sydney University though.
It really is that simple folks. |
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Going by the messages past and present in my inbox it’s a big fat disappointing no.
It’s not just guys though, plenty of couples don’t read profiles and in my experience can be far pushier than single men. |
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Most people in here don't bother reading profiles. As there own wants, needs and agenda is far more important. And showing you how big there cock is (or isn't) Shame as genuine couples like ourselves, just get pissed off instead of putting plenty of fun in front of people. |
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Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated. |
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It takes little time to read a bio fellas just do it often I get messages from guy's who haven't read mine and I understand that it's annoying on both sides just read it alot of the bios I have read have been rather funny |
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated. "
Forums have always been full of people with their pitchforks out for single guys. I wouldn’t worry about it
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated.
Forums have always been full of people with their pitchforks out for single guys. I wouldn’t worry about it
"
Not pitchforks just the truth. Certain Single males on here ruin it for the rest end of!! |
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated.
Forums have always been full of people with their pitchforks out for single guys. I wouldn’t worry about it
Not pitchforks just the truth. Certain Single males on here ruin it for the rest end of!! "
I can live with that. I had to ban a couple of guys that aggressively refused to stop messaging of their own accord. Once the fun messages become hidden by the dross, then it must become very boring |
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated.
Forums have always been full of people with their pitchforks out for single guys. I wouldn’t worry about it
Not pitchforks just the truth. Certain Single males on here ruin it for the rest end of!!
I can live with that. I had to ban a couple of guys that aggressively refused to stop messaging of their own accord. Once the fun messages become hidden by the dross, then it must become very boring"
We've had everything on here from out n out racism to full on abuse cuz they can't get a meet. The second you say no the vileness starts. Don't get us wrong some lovely guys on here so respectful and genuine. We just wish fab would do something about the scum that hurl abuse. We know they don't as we block n report them. They are still on the block list. So fab don't remove them. Shame this site used to be so much fun. Now it's just hard work!! |
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated.
Forums have always been full of people with their pitchforks out for single guys. I wouldn’t worry about it
Not pitchforks just the truth. Certain Single males on here ruin it for the rest end of!! "
Some couples aren’t much better tbf or women or whoever. There’s shit in every category. |
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"Am I the only person that is finding this thread quite negative. I do sympathise with couples etc that find us single guys a bit of a menace, and I do try not to bother people who clearly are after specific needs. I am not nes to Fab, but am new to these forums, and was hoping for fun chat and banter but I am starting to feel a bit alienated. "
A very good point well made |
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We’ve had our profile hidden for about 6 months until a couple of weeks ago. We’ve had all the usual silly messages since unhiding it.
Then on Saturday I decided to put a little bossy, picky ‘ don’t bother if’ paragraph at the top of our profile and miraculously all the nonsense messages (fingers crossed) have stopped!
So maybe people read profiles more than we originally thought.
S & J x |
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Why do you say especially guys? Not reading profiles and sending friend requests without chatting first isn’t something exclusive to only to men. There a lot of couples and a few ladies who are just as guilty of this. |
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"A lot of people on here done read profiles and the complain when you don’t reply. "
A lot of people do read profiles, send an email suited to the profile and don't get a reply and moan..or get a reply but it's not what they want and moan.. . Is there a theme? Life's so tough. |
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Whilst there is no denying that some "guys on this site" do not read people's profiles, I sometimes find that women fail to read or even grasp their own profiles. They will message in the first instance and then engage in monosyllabic dialogue whilst expecting me to be verbose in conversation. The irony being that their own profiles mandate - "won't tolerate one-word responses" or "only interested in people with conversational skills" or "not looking to meet after just two short messages" or something similar. Some women need to adhere to their own caveats. |
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