FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How difficult is it ?
How difficult is it ?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *orl1971 OP Couple 3 days ago
Glasgow |
How difficult do you find it to meet people ? We’re finding it crazy difficult and wondering if it’s worth it.
As a straight couple we find it really tough when we
* rule out couples looking for girl/girl
* rule out smokers
* rule out people due to age range (ours/theirs)
Find we’ve seen many of the couples locally on Fab and don’t have many options left. Clubs also are difficult as we’ve been to clubs/socials without much success.
Are we too picky or just incompatible with what people are looking for ? Or is it just pretty impossible for straight couples to meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think you'll put a lot of guys off as you are pretty critical of past encounters, I understand why you may have put this in your write up, but a lot of guys will see your words as very negative towards them and won't bother with you. There are also many reasons why people have non public photos, it doesn't mean they are cheating or hiding anything from you specifically, some people don't want their private life being too publicly available, hence why we are on here and not plastering our kinks all over the book of faces.
Beyond those observations, your profile looks good, if a little long, which probably works in your favour to a degree with ing out the less literate among us.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It is tough, I'm straight and half a couple.
So many are looking for fem to fem play, then add in all the profiles that have no pics of the man, so you've no idea if there would be any attraction to him at all.
It's super difficult to get attraction between couples anyway, I can see why do many look for 3sums.
We have met a few couples, but that was through socials rather than just using fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We originally joined just looking for straight males and were also having difficulty.
Being picky is something I think everyone should be but we seem to pick people who don't meet after saying they would.
It's left us wondering what's the point also.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How difficult do you find it to meet people ? We’re finding it crazy difficult and wondering if it’s worth it.
As a straight couple we find it really tough when we
* rule out couples looking for girl/girl
* rule out smokers
* rule out people due to age range (ours/theirs)
Find we’ve seen many of the couples locally on Fab and don’t have many options left. Clubs also are difficult as we’ve been to clubs/socials without much success.
Are we too picky or just incompatible with what people are looking for ? Or is it just pretty impossible for straight couples to meet. "
You're not too picky, you're looking for people you're compatible with. We reply to less than 10% of messages on here, so you're not the only ones who are picky. You could start a thread for Straight couples, you'll be surprised how many there are and will comment. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orl1971 OP Couple 3 days ago
Glasgow |
"I think you'll put a lot of guys off as you are pretty critical of past encounters, I understand why you may have put this in your write up, but a lot of guys will see your words as very negative towards them and won't bother with you. There are also many reasons why people have non public photos, it doesn't mean they are cheating or hiding anything from you specifically, some people don't want their private life being too publicly available, hence why we are on here and not plastering our kinks all over the book of faces.
Beyond those observations, your profile looks good, if a little long, which probably works in your favour to a degree with ing out the less literate among us.
"
Yes we know we will put single guys off with our profile text but it’s honest feedback due to some bad single guy experiences. We’re pretty happy to forewarn guys about do/don’t and preferences.
It’s up to them if they still contact us but many do regardless and we know most don’t read the profile text anyway 
We’re really looking for couples mostly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you'll put a lot of guys off as you are pretty critical of past encounters, I understand why you may have put this in your write up, but a lot of guys will see your words as very negative towards them and won't bother with you. There are also many reasons why people have non public photos, it doesn't mean they are cheating or hiding anything from you specifically, some people don't want their private life being too publicly available, hence why we are on here and not plastering our kinks all over the book of faces.
Beyond those observations, your profile looks good, if a little long, which probably works in your favour to a degree with ing out the less literate among us.
Yes we know we will put single guys off with our profile text but it’s honest feedback due to some bad single guy experiences. We’re pretty happy to forewarn guys about do/don’t and preferences.
It’s up to them if they still contact us but many do regardless and we know most don’t read the profile text anyway
We’re really looking for couples mostly. "
Personally I just think it's a better idea to just say something like "we'll look for single guys when we want one" and maybe take them off of your looking for list, it won't deter every chancer but should a number out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"prefer single guys who are not on here because they are lonely and can’t meet anyone in real life"
Possibly not the best choice of words, being this antagonistic will probably put couples off as well. It comes across as terribly patronising. If I received a message from a profile containing those words I'd ignore you to hell and back, however attractive and aligned to what I was looking for the sender was. Most of your profile is really good but the direct denigration of a sex that will be part of the couples you are looking for just seems unwise to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iseekingbiCouple 3 days ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
"How difficult do you find it to meet people ? We’re finding it crazy difficult and wondering if it’s worth it.
As a straight couple we find it really tough when we
* rule out couples looking for girl/girl
* rule out smokers
* rule out people due to age range (ours/theirs)
Find we’ve seen many of the couples locally on Fab and don’t have many options left. Clubs also are difficult as we’ve been to clubs/socials without much success.
Are we too picky or just incompatible with what people are looking for ? Or is it just pretty impossible for straight couples to meet. "
Just hold out for what you want is our advice. It's definitely harder to find a scenario where all 4 people are on exactly the same page. If you compromise on what you really want, the experience will be inevitably disappointing for someone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" "prefer single guys who are not on here because they are lonely and can’t meet anyone in real life"
Possibly not the best choice of words, being this antagonistic will probably put couples off as well. It comes across as terribly patronising. If I received a message from a profile containing those words I'd ignore you to hell and back, however attractive and aligned to what I was looking for the sender was. Most of your profile is really good but the direct denigration of a sex that will be part of the couples you are looking for just seems unwise to me."
I disagree with you that it's unwise for the op to write the above in their profile. It will give potential meets an idea of how they may really think. instead of trying to sugar coat their opinions.
If they are the type to degrade and patronise, at least they're up front about it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How difficult do you find it to meet people ? We’re finding it crazy difficult and wondering if it’s worth it.
As a straight couple we find it really tough when we
* rule out couples looking for girl/girl
* rule out smokers
* rule out people due to age range (ours/theirs)
Find we’ve seen many of the couples locally on Fab and don’t have many options left. Clubs also are difficult as we’ve been to clubs/socials without much success.
Are we too picky or just incompatible with what people are looking for ? Or is it just pretty impossible for straight couples to meet. "
Finding someone (or ones) isn't an easy task, keeping an open mind, responding to all (yes, it's different for single guys we have FAR less to respond to), looking for connections, hoping to find 'that spark'... but you ask if it's worth it? For me, yes, when I find that person I connect with it's great for all we get out of it, as long as it lasts. And that reward makes it worth the hardship in getting there. That's why I return. YMMV - that's why it's your call |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" "prefer single guys who are not on here because they are lonely and can’t meet anyone in real life"
Possibly not the best choice of words, being this antagonistic will probably put couples off as well. It comes across as terribly patronising. If I received a message from a profile containing those words I'd ignore you to hell and back, however attractive and aligned to what I was looking for the sender was. Most of your profile is really good but the direct denigration of a sex that will be part of the couples you are looking for just seems unwise to me.
I disagree with you that it's unwise for the op to write the above in their profile. It will give potential meets an idea of how they may really think. instead of trying to sugar coat their opinions.
If they are the type to degrade and patronise, at least they're up front about it. "
Fair comment, I'm not sure there's a magic formula for the perfect profile but I like a more positive one myself, but, each to their own and I certainly wish everyone on here the best of luck with whatever they choose to do, I just prefer a lack of negativity, there's enough of that in the world in general and given that we're on a site to get our jollies in our own inimitable fashions, keeping things light and fun seems to be a better use of our energies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" "prefer single guys who are not on here because they are lonely and can’t meet anyone in real life"
Possibly not the best choice of words, being this antagonistic will probably put couples off as well. It comes across as terribly patronising. If I received a message from a profile containing those words I'd ignore you to hell and back, however attractive and aligned to what I was looking for the sender was. Most of your profile is really good but the direct denigration of a sex that will be part of the couples you are looking for just seems unwise to me.
I disagree with you that it's unwise for the op to write the above in their profile. It will give potential meets an idea of how they may really think. instead of trying to sugar coat their opinions.
If they are the type to degrade and patronise, at least they're up front about it.
Fair comment, I'm not sure there's a magic formula for the perfect profile but I like a more positive one myself, but, each to their own and I certainly wish everyone on here the best of luck with whatever they choose to do, I just prefer a lack of negativity, there's enough of that in the world in general and given that we're on a site to get our jollies in our own inimitable fashions, keeping things light and fun seems to be a better use of our energies "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 3 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
First question I'd ask would be as to how proactive you are in browsing and sending first messages?
Most successful straight couples I know don't wait to be messaged and do the searching themselves.
A much better chance of finding those you seek. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most couples I know find it incredibly hard to meet other couples because there needs to be a four way attraction. That is very rare as usually one of the party won’t like one of the others.
That is why most couples, in my experience, tend to just focus on the wife and letting her find a single guy she likes. That makes the attraction thing much easier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I meet as part of a couple but we generally go to clubs as finding 4 way attraction on Fab isn't easy.
Your profile isn't particularly friendly. Maybe lighten it up a bit, block single guys and when you do want to meet a single man, look for them and send messages to those that take your fancy.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I occasionally meet couple's and I honestly would pass yours by because of lack of a positive vibe.
Your profile is detailed in what you want and I think that's a good thing. It doesn't say anything about what you offer though and the tone in general just isn't appealing.
There's a lot of couples on fab so it's easy to be counted out for small things when there's so many other profiles to look for.
Have you considered attending organised social events? I don't particularly like clubs or parties but find socials a great place to meet people and network. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What do you expect! You seem self entitled... "
I thought this too.
It pleases me that you do nail those colours to your mast: it helps me to avoid you.
You also say "... don’t take this too seriously."
I'm not sure how the reader is supposed to take it.
I'm sure by now you're getting an answer to your original question.
I do hope this helps you because, in agreement with others, you absolutely should be 100% picky who you share your time and your bodies with.
Don't take this too seriously - good luck out there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP- I think it’s understandable that you have your own very specific requirements.
Would you be better off searching for single guys in the area close to wherever you happen to be and contacting them rather than becoming frustrated with their less than satisfactory attempts to make contact? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a couples profile, we are bi fem and straight male looking for couples but I don’t have to play with the female of the other couple. More than happy for a straight swap! So maybe don’t discount couples with a bi female that might open it up a bit more |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you'll put a lot of guys off as you are pretty critical of past encounters, I understand why you may have put this in your write up, but a lot of guys will see your words as very negative towards them and won't bother with you. There are also many reasons why people have non public photos, it doesn't mean they are cheating or hiding anything from you specifically, some people don't want their private life being too publicly available, hence why we are on here and not plastering our kinks all over the book of faces.
Beyond those observations, your profile looks good, if a little long, which probably works in your favour to a degree with ing out the less literate among us.
Yes we know we will put single guys off with our profile text but it’s honest feedback due to some bad single guy experiences. We’re pretty happy to forewarn guys about do/don’t and preferences.
It’s up to them if they still contact us but many do regardless and we know most don’t read the profile text anyway
We’re really looking for couples mostly. "
To be honest aside from one line I'd have no idea you're looking for couples? I'd take single men being able to message you off the table. Then message those who do interest you. Pop a line in your profile that you'll message those you're interested in... Lose the mass waffle about single men being whatevers blah blah... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think your profile is picky at all. I am a straight female and when I'm with my playmate we are only with other straight couples. My interaction with a woman is us simply lying beside each other mutually enjoying our guys devouring us. I'm not bi nor bi curious but I'm also not body afraid to hold your hair to help you enjoy a BJ or a bit of ass smack in jest.
A lot of people on here are porn only fanticist and have never experienced reality sexual freedoms.
Stay picky |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
