FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Who’s into BDSM & Fet as well?
Who’s into BDSM & Fet as well?
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! |
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Chance would be nice. But nothing gen on here in the sth lincs area |
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I used to go to a German BDSM club back in 1983
My gosh it was bloody good |
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I've gone more towards that side of things from swinging as it's more what I enjoy naturally, and tend to find more like minded folks & events on that side of the fence. |
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I don’t think it’s so much keeping them separate I think more that you need a great connection for anything kink related and that takes time and I’m not always sure people want to give that |
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I do enjoy a little bit of kink, but more the sensual play (pinwheel, fluffy flogger to stroke me with and drape over me, my spikey gloves) than impact play or bondage. I often incorporate the sensual play when I'm in clubs and do enjoy dungeon areas in some clubs, particularly Chameleons Darlaston and Penthouse Playrooms. |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"I do enjoy a little bit of kink, but more the sensual play (pinwheel, fluffy flogger to stroke me with and drape over me, my spikey gloves) than impact play or bondage. I often incorporate the sensual play when I'm in clubs and do enjoy dungeon areas in some clubs, particularly Chameleons Darlaston and Penthouse Playrooms."
Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. |
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I'm more of a sensual spanking person  |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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I'm into being Sub for Soft Dom but want to explore going Switch x |
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Love bdsm especially hot wax play and blindfoldeds |
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I often combine my BDSM fetish and swinging life together often makes for a great night |
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We are into both
We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here
The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"We are into both
We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here
The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet "
Well….hello!! But we can’t message you! ?? |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
It’s really good to read we aren’t the only ones….if people see us at various clubs please say hi…..be good to see everyone |
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We do I the Mrs prefers the bdsm side Mr prefers the soft sexual side |
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I used to meet a guy who took me to various places to be used by a few guys.
One memorable day he took me in his car, stopped down a lane made me get out the car, strip naked, get back in the car, drive a short distance to a house, put on a blindfold, the front door was opened, I was walked completely naked into the house, led to a bench, tied to the bench and fucked and played with wands in different areas of the house, while being filmed.
Once all the guys had cum on me, I was taken into the kitchen, blindfold off and saw the 5 guys drinking tea and chatting.
From being used and fucked we spent a pleasant hour having tea and biscuits and chatting, one then ask if could watch me having a shower.
Dressed then back to my car, home and show Paul the video and photos.
Can't think of a better way to spend a day. |
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"I used to meet a guy who took me to various places to be used by a few guys.
One memorable day he took me in his car, stopped down a lane made me get out the car, strip naked, get back in the car, drive a short distance to a house, put on a blindfold, the front door was opened, I was walked completely naked into the house, led to a bench, tied to the bench and fucked and played with wands in different areas of the house, while being filmed.
Once all the guys had cum on me, I was taken into the kitchen, blindfold off and saw the 5 guys drinking tea and chatting.
From being used and fucked we spent a pleasant hour having tea and biscuits and chatting, one then ask if could watch me having a shower.
Dressed then back to my car, home and show Paul the video and photos.
Can't think of a better way to spend a day. "
Now that's a great idea! |
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"We do I the Mrs prefers the bdsm side Mr prefers the soft sexual side "
I do like a bit of both it's a good work out lol ?? |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
We are the same, started SM play 20 plus years ago, a D/s scenario works well for us although she has also switched over the last few years.
Swinging really got going 10 years ago but it’s rare for the two worlds to come together.
Have often found women who want me to initiate them and she sub guys who want fem dom.
Always on the lookout for experienced fet/swing couples but these are as rare as unicorns.
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By *essTTWoman 21 weeks ago
Birmingham |
I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore |
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore "
Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet….
You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment.
Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets. |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore "
I’d second finding a munch….or happy to chat via DM if you’d rather to point you in right direction. |
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By *essTTWoman 21 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore
Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet….
You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment.
Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets."
I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate  |
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore
Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet….
You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment.
Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets.
I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate "
I agree. I don’t really know what its purpose is. Hard to navigate and not sure if contact is meant to be made |
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore
Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet….
You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment.
Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets.
I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate
I agree. I don’t really know what its purpose is. Hard to navigate and not sure if contact is meant to be made "
Use it for the events listings - it’s not really a pickup site (although obviously it can be). It’s useful to add people you’ve met as ‘friends’ then you can see who’s going to what. |
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"I do enjoy a little bit of kink, but more the sensual play (pinwheel, fluffy flogger to stroke me with and drape over me, my spikey gloves) than impact play or bondage. I often incorporate the sensual play when I'm in clubs and do enjoy dungeon areas in some clubs, particularly Chameleons Darlaston and Penthouse Playrooms.
Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. "
I'm going to Chams on the 4th, with my FWB, who is the only person allowed to spank me . We will be surely using the dungeon areas there |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
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I'm going to Chams on the 4th, with my FWB, who is the only person allowed to spank me . We will be surely using the dungeon areas there "
Ahhh we are probably going on the 1st July! Hope you have a lovely time…and I’m sure we will see each other at some point. |
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I met my very first mistress on fab lasted a few years but sadly due to health she had quite being a mistress and stopped swinging altogether we still chat to this day but nothing more I'd love to be owned again I do miss it |
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Happy little impact bottom and service top  |
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Be interested to hear other opinions and experiences, but we started and remain mostly in the kink scene.
We have dipped our toes into clubs that are primarily swingers, and found that the approach to consent seemed quite different.
In kinkland, generally the expectation is that no decisions about what to do and with who, are made "on the spot"/"in the heat of the moment".
That didn't seem to be the case in the swinging clubs we tried, and it made us quite uncomfortable to have to keep saying "no" to randoms whilst engaged in sexytime. Those randoms did (with one notable exception) always pay attention, so this isn't about consent violation - more about the approach being different, if that makes sense. |
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By *icentiousCouple 21 weeks ago
Up on them there hills |
Think B/d fits well in the swinging. d/s is a wholly different Kettle of Kippers, from my perspective. |
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Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. "
The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky  |
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Some great kink events at a club in the NW.... they have crossover events too with a great mix of kinky and swingy |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
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Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams.
The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky "
We are looking forward to it….the girls fancy some strap on fun while we use various hitty things…..just got to work out when we can all get there. |
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By *rangar OP Couple 21 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"Be interested to hear other opinions and experiences, but we started and remain mostly in the kink scene.
We have dipped our toes into clubs that are primarily swingers, and found that the approach to consent seemed quite different.
In kinkland, generally the expectation is that no decisions about what to do and with who, are made "on the spot"/"in the heat of the moment".
That didn't seem to be the case in the swinging clubs we tried, and it made us quite uncomfortable to have to keep saying "no" to randoms whilst engaged in sexytime. Those randoms did (with one notable exception) always pay attention, so this isn't about consent violation - more about the approach being different, if that makes sense."
We’ve been in the kink scene for 20 odd years but recently found that fet clubs aren’t what they used to be.
I think it’s just a different etiquette….we’ve had some bad experiences recently at fet clubs with people chatting in dungeon spaces and encroaching on play space….weve actually had less issues using dungeon spaces in swing clubs
We have found single men to be slightly more pushy at swing clubs but a firm “no” works…and decent club owners want to keep couples and women happy so are quick to keep bad behaviour in check.
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I absolutely love it
Such a thrill
Love to be slut sub for tops to exploit me and have me do what they want me to |
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"Be interested to hear other opinions and experiences, but we started and remain mostly in the kink scene.
We have dipped our toes into clubs that are primarily swingers, and found that the approach to consent seemed quite different.
In kinkland, generally the expectation is that no decisions about what to do and with who, are made "on the spot"/"in the heat of the moment".
...
We’ve been in the kink scene for 20 odd years but recently found that fet clubs aren’t what they used to be.
I think it’s just a different etiquette….we’ve had some bad experiences recently at fet clubs with people chatting in dungeon spaces and encroaching on play space….weve actually had less issues using dungeon spaces in swing clubs
We have found single men to be slightly more pushy at swing clubs but a firm “no” works…and decent club owners want to keep couples and women happy so are quick to keep bad behaviour in check.
"
Yeah, absolutely - there are bad actors in both scenes, it's more that the expected etiquette/protocols are different. It's a matter of taste, but we prefer to agree who is involved (and exactly what is OK) before hand so we don't have to juggle that during play. |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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I agree. I don’t really know what its purpose is. Hard to navigate and not sure if contact is meant to be made "
As others have said, it's a bit of an odd hybrid of a site. At a glance you would think it's like a dating site - one where you would search out people whose kinks match yours etc - but the reality is it's very meets/events focused. |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
Week combine swingers into some of our BDSM scenes. Cnc is our main kink |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate!
Week combine swingers into some of our BDSM scenes. Cnc is our main kink "
I’m into cnc also |
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I'm in a BDSM relationship. We met at a munch and we practice kink and have a pretty much constant dynamic going on whether it's him being subby and me Dominant, or the other way around. Lucky to have met and fallen for a Switch like me.
I love Fet but sometimes find at a community level quite chaste. So I'm on Fab to compliment my BDSM lifestyle. Not really interested in vanilla piv sex. It's boring compared to what we can and have done. Electro, Impact, sensory, bondage, dynamics, age play, breath play, and more recently CNC |
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By *rangar OP Couple 20 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"I'm in a BDSM relationship. We met at a munch and we practice kink and have a pretty much constant dynamic going on whether it's him being subby and me Dominant, or the other way around. Lucky to have met and fallen for a Switch like me.
I love Fet but sometimes find at a community level quite chaste. So I'm on Fab to compliment my BDSM lifestyle. Not really interested in vanilla piv sex. It's boring compared to what we can and have done. Electro, Impact, sensory, bondage, dynamics, age play, breath play, and more recently CNC"
You sound like our sort of people! Agree with the comments about Fet. It can be toxic when you fall out with the wrong people! We actually now find swing clubs are more welcoming places a lot of the time with people more ready to chat and welcome you. |
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We’re into kink and BDSM. Kinky folk can be tricky to find on Fab but there are some gems!
Dee |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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Hi, we are into BDSM and some kinks! Health permitting. Lol! |
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Absolutely into BDSM and get play. It brings so much to play. Just love the dynamic.
Finding playmate's, now that's a different matter |
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Love a bit of whip play and denial
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By *WANDTGCouple 20 weeks ago
Borough of Greenwich |
We love it , but it's something we do between ourselves |
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I've enjoyed many good bondage sessions and was on that site for a while. A little impact play and other such stuff. Between consenting adults, it can add a lot to the fun! |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
Love many aspects of BDSM, impact play, restraints to name a couple. Not on Fet and have yet to find a good event to attend. |
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Oooh, some gorgeous kinksters on here!
We met through kink and enjoy a D/s relationship and all the fun that entails, but we would say that we are kinksters who play well with others.
We used the fet site initially, but it was so hard to find people, although we have enjoyed attending events listed there. We are still on there to cover all bases.
We decided to give fab a try and we have met some lovely people, but not necessarily kink-minded ones. Our DMs are always open to chat to those who share similar interests.
We are also organising a Clothed Dominant naked sub event at Purple Mamba in the autumn if anyone enjoys that particular kink. |
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"We are into both
We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here
The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet "
The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun! |
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"We are into both
We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than
exploring on here
The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet
The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun!"
Haha think about the neighbours ours would die of shock from old age lmao |
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Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams.
The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky "
That camping trip must have been amazing! |
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"Some great kink events at a club in the NW.... they have crossover events too with a great mix of kinky and swingy "
Mmmm, that scene in the woods is hot! |
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"We are into both
We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than
exploring on here
The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet
The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun!
Haha think about the neighbours ours would die of shock from old age lmao "
I can imagine a few funny looks over the fence |
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"I don’t think it’s so much keeping them separate I think more that you need a great connection for anything kink related and that takes time and I’m not always sure people want to give that "
Exactly this! That's why so many have never lived what they seem to dream or wish for.. they are unwilling to earn it |
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We enjoy both. Can always be found in the dungeon at Kestrels or Hellfire when we visit. |
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NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex |
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Come ‘here’ from the world of fetish -kink and Bdsm Munches -all facets of our core libido’s -love taking neophytes out into some of their unknown areas and helping them really enjoy letting go….?
Bx |
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex "
It is hugely frustrating that kink related pictures and videos get taken down. I think it is more in relation to poorly thought out obscenity laws than the choice of Fab itself, but it is still annoying, especially when those sort of images help you find folks with similar kinks to your own. |
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BDSM and rope are an important part of my life, more a calling than an interest or roleplay.
The kink world is a broad church, but even when I used to swing there was for me a distinction between BDSM as a relationship and BDSM as roleplay which is an added extra, and again is different from Topping and bottoming.
Because I enjoy applying impact and sensation (whether as a Dominant or a Top) I need to be concentrating on what I am doing and reading the other person's body. If I was looking for personal arousal or arousal of the other person I would find it distracting and they would find it distracting from the mental and physical connection which some find deeper than a sexual connection.
Some people may be better at concentrating than me or are happy with a sexual connection being the chemistry they want and that's all part of the broad kink church.
The key (for me) is both (or more parties) communicating and understanding whether it is sexually orientated BDSM or process orientated BDSM they want. Also, understanding and respecting the limits and goals of all taking part.
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In Germany BDSM scene is unreal |
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"I used to go to a German BDSM club back in 1983
My gosh it was bloody good "
When you were 13?  |
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I'm very much into BDSM and fetish play, and have been for 25+ years.
Only really got into swinging a few years ago. |
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We are pretty much purely exhibitionist Fet/BDSM |
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By *rangar OP Couple 20 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
[Removed by poster at 05/07/24 20:46:46] |
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By *rangar OP Couple 20 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex "
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. |
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I am very inexperienced but extremely interested to explore this ...  |
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. "
We had issues with one which was denied because it showed a knife….explained it was a wooden wax scraper and not an offensive weapon and was reinstated. |
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By *9alMan 20 weeks ago
Bridgend |
I am into BDSM & swinging |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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We are more into the Femdom and BDSM scene and go to our local clubs Townhouse and Partners, for their specific events, we came here when we had a particular scene we wanted to happen and have on here also too.we use 'the other site' also for friends we have met and the events calendar.
Candy |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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I enjoy most aspects |
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"I used to go to a German BDSM club back in 1983
My gosh it was bloody good
When you were 13? "
Sounds like a Freud. Too Jung for all this. |
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I can't say we're in either but as a couple we have interest in BDSM and would be nice to combine at a venue. |
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I often participate with both swinging and BDSM |
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I'm into both and regularly attend a verify of munches in London. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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We started out in the fetish scene. Still enjoy our kinks, finding kinksters to share is difficult. |
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. "
We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent. |
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I enjoy BDSM play whether it be a a club or home
I don't combine the two
It's easier for me that way
Have met many great people from this site very much in to the kink more than the swing
Which is great for me
XXX |
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I enjoy both BDSM and swinging |
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By *rangar OP Couple 20 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
Really enjoying reading we are not the only ones who like to mix up the lifestyles. We certainly seem to get a crowd when we play in a swing club…and get questions asked! In the main I’d say that most respect the scene and wait till we have finished before asking too. |
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us.
We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent."
However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people |
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I've long-term interest but finding the right man, with sexual connection and complementary interests, notwithstanding the safety aspects, is something I find hard |
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By *essTTWoman 20 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"I've long-term interest but finding the right man, with sexual connection and complementary interests, notwithstanding the safety aspects, is something I find hard "
This is my exact dilemma |
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By *abbit48Man 20 weeks ago
Catterick Garrison |
Definitely more into the bdsm than swaping.
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"I've long-term interest but finding the right man, with sexual connection and complementary interests, notwithstanding the safety aspects, is something I find hard
This is my exact dilemma "
It's difficult finding a sub as well |
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I keep searching for a Dom guy/ guys to use me as they wish
Hopefully il find them soon |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
we often mix them. In fact our flogger gets more attention sometimes than we do. Xx
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us.
We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent.
However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people "
We agree and understand that nuance is a difficult thing
But we have a puppy
He darts about everywhere …cos he is a puppy
The amount of perfectly acceptable pictures we have that his tail or face is somewhere in the back ground
Becuase we have taken the picture outside or because he is in his crate but you can see
The crate in the tiniest fraction of the back ground
Seems a bit OTT that they get rejected
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We met through a shared interest in BDSM and attended a number of clubs but found them disappointing as sexual play seemed very frowned upon, but for us was an important part of the mix. We visited more of a crossover club on a weekend trip to Berlin which was much more sex positive and created our account on FAB the next day. We have found swinging venues and swingers much more sociable and outgoing. For us, BDSM is still part of what we enjoy, sometimes in swinging clubs as that can have good dungeons, but never with others. Maybe because BDSM needs a more thorough understanding of wants, needs boundaries that requires a level of communication and negotiation that takes time whereas sensual sexual play flows more naturally with little to be agreed upfront. Maybe one day it would be good to find a couples club night or party that combines both. |
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us.
We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent.
However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people
We agree and understand that nuance is a difficult thing
But we have a puppy
He darts about everywhere …cos he is a puppy
The amount of perfectly acceptable pictures we have that his tail or face is somewhere in the back ground
Becuase we have taken the picture outside or because he is in his crate but you can see
The crate in the tiniest fraction of the back ground
Seems a bit OTT that they get rejected
"
You can edit pictures
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive
We had a few pictures of kinky play
And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag
They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times
We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site
But kinky sex is still sex
We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us.
We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent."
Crop the photo unless that was your original intention to have an animal showing |
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We have a very strong D/S dynamic within our relationship that isn’t just sexual but it’s not something we mix with others. Weve played in some dungeons at clubs but keep it light, would be interested in trying a more more focused event. |
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Yep! Don't share much of it on here as the two don't cross over very well. |
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I found on the other site lots of people are too far away to actually meet. But if people are a bit kinky i’m more likely to interact. The problem is when other people ask what i really like |
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"I found on the other site lots of people are too far away to actually meet. But if people are a bit kinky i’m more likely to interact. The problem is when other people ask what i really like "
What do you really like?  |
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lol it’s a varied list but chasity features highly and humiliation to him |
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Absolutely love kink but hard to find on here |
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I'm more involved in the spanking community, which though seemingly related is actually quite separate in practice.
I live on an old farm, so fortunately noise isn't a problem I also have some old stables, which can make for a good background to various scenes. |
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I echo what has already been mentioned, I find it hard to meet fellow kinks on here. I have met great friends but not managed that all important connection. I’m a shite swinger and really don't enjoy the the random fucking but I love the social side!
I really enjoy the easy interaction that Fabs offers, the socials are easy to arrange and attend. I struggle finding genuine people on FL.
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By *isa2018Couple 19 weeks ago
East Northamptonshire |
Mildly. S likes a bit of rstraint from tying/chaining up and blindfolded whilst being played with. Ice just finished building a St Andrews Cross so that will be getting christened for photos and use when we are back from holiday. |
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We're very interested in both, but no good at either. |
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We’re just starting out, would love to meet someone with a bit of experience to show us the ropes |
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"We’re just starting out, would love to meet someone with a bit of experience to show us the ropes "
Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet |
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I like using ropes and sensory stimulation on a willing female and find it almost like an art form.
Great for sexy/kinky photos for you to discuss after. Can lead to sex if desired.
Discussing what is going to happen way before the scene is exciting too. This is where you can set the boundaries together. |
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"We’re just starting out, would love to meet someone with a bit of experience to show us the ropes
Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet"
Thanks, will look out for next one x |
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"
Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet"
sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink? |
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"
Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink?"
Yes it’s a cross over, normally every three months with a theme, last one was pirates in April, they skipped the July one as too busy to give the event they want to.
So the next one is October. Near Halloween. |
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"
Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink?
Yes it’s a cross over, normally every three months with a theme, last one was pirates in April, they skipped the July one as too busy to give the event they want to.
So the next one is October. Near Halloween."
Last event forum https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/events/1595751 |
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We enjoy BDSM and we are swingers. Our kink tends to be something we tend to do together and not involve others. It quite personal and powerful. However we don't see them as necessary divisible and we sometimes do elements with others. Depends on the people and the space. We just do what we want and feels good.
We don't really enjoy the fet scene. It can be a bit sort of portentous and odd if you know what I mean? Also there seems a bit of stigma around being swingers on the fet scene.
A while back we met a bunch called SWINK at the BBB. It was nice to see some freindly faces and attitudes towards swinging on the fet scene. |
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"We enjoy BDSM and we are swingers. Our kink tends to be something we tend to do together and not involve others. It quite personal and powerful. However we don't see them as necessary divisible and we sometimes do elements with others. Depends on the people and the space. We just do what we want and feels good.
We don't really enjoy the fet scene. It can be a bit sort of portentous and odd if you know what I mean? Also there seems a bit of stigma around being swingers on the fet scene.
A while back we met a bunch called SWINK at the BBB. It was nice to see some freindly faces and attitudes towards swinging on the fet scene. "
So E was inexperienced in D/s , when we met
I have been guiding and mentoring her for years
And we saw “ swing people “ at some clubs
Then she said
I’ve found a local “ SWINK “ social
I literally told her she was wrong
Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing
And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM
Well to my surprise
It was E that was right
Swink ,, its niche . But it does in small pockets exist
The Fet scene can be fairly clique-y and there is deffo a level of stigma in those communities about being into swing
It is only fair to acknowledge that a shit ton of swing people judge the hell out of us because I sometimes tie her up and flog her
They react like it’s domestic violence
Not to mention Fab itself rejects multiple of our pics and videos that we would post
Because our sex is often kinky sex
So the judgement absolutely goes both ways
More swink acceptance from both communities would be the ideal answer but we may be further away from that than we would like  |
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing
And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM"
I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 19 weeks ago
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Just here for the learnings and the profiles  xx |
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I find the two worlds dont really mix. I would say I'm more of a Fet person than a Fab person. But I have recently been sex shamed on Fet. There is an element of snobbery there especially with the non sexual kink people such as the masochists and TPE people. They seem to have an attitude that sex is a lower grade of kink.
But equally been kink shamed on here. It was because I spoke about electro play where the intensity was set at somewhere between tingles and having nettles brushed over the skin. There was assumptions made about electro which were ill informed and there was no interest in being educated.
My ideal world would be the high levels of communication, negotiation and consent were plucked from Fet and sex positivity taken from Fab and the two mooshed together.
I've had a photo removed because it showed marks on my butt from a dragon tail. I asked for the impact play. |
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore
Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet….
You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment.
Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets.
I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate "
It is a bit difficult to navigate but we attended the Chester munch in a pub on Thursday evening.
It was nice to chat to others.
Get to as many socials, parties etc as possible.
One thing we have found is you have to put yourself in as many places as possible.
Like most things in life.
You have to be in 99 wrong places at the wrong time to be in that 1 right place at the right time.
It's great fun. |
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By *scaMan 18 weeks ago
Herts / London / Beyond |
(Waves).
Possibly more active in those scenes than this one. Some crossover however. Always happy to chat to others who feel the same |
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Would definitely like to meet yo explore the true me |
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing
And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM
I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly. "
Can’t relate |
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Yes love it given the chance !!love my kinks also !! |
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I've mixed them in the past, my subs have enjoyed more privacy if it's going to be the heavier type of play |
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We love a bit bdsm nout to serious just fun and amazing toy play and sex no rushing any thing the Mr Mrs loves ?? it |
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We hav ebeen involved in both worlds on and off over the years- in fact even had a long term dom at one point. Good to get the different perpectives from different disciplines , some mix some dont, but nice intro to the various scenes |
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing
And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM
I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly.
Can’t relate "
100% can relate … our curiosity of swing is not tolerated on Fet sites
Our natural D/s Dynamic often is either over looked / ignored or out right judged by people on fab
We get that each camp understands itself not necessarily have understanding the other , but. given tolerance and understanding is a kind of byword , given construct ,,,, everyone preaches
On both sides
Try saying your in a D/s dynamic on a swing site
Or
That you engineer swing into your sex on a fetish site
The commonality is BOTH have no tolerance
For the bit they vibe with
Just our experience lately |
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we can play pretty vanilla if its best for who we are meeting
but, with the right playmates... things can get a little... kinky |
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We often played in the club’s dungeon.
Kama likes blindfolding, and spanking.
I strapped her to St Andrews cross multiple times and let random people in the club slap her ass and lick whatever they wanted, but no fingering.
But we are not into anything extreme that would leave marks later… |
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By *rangar OP Couple 17 weeks ago
Bromsgrove |
Loving that this thread is still getting comments….glad we aren’t alone in combining kink and swing….its the best of both as far as we are concerned! The comments are great to read. |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
We go to VA which has a dungeon and we also want to try Hellfire xx |
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I take my sub to Torture Garden. |
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By *ickawitchCouple 17 weeks ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
Wifey and I play but only lightly, we started before we started swapping but it often crosses over and also includes ( on occasion) CNC |
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I would like to take the advanced levels communication for negotiation, emphasis on validating needs and respecting consent as well as aftercare from BDSM, and smoosh it together with the social friendliness and curious openness of swing.
There's judgement on both sides. And yet, we can clearly see a demographic who like both. The clubs market theme nights for both.
I'm surprised there is no Swinksters type alternative to both. Or maybe there is but I haven't come across it. |
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"I would like to take the advanced levels communication for negotiation, emphasis on validating needs and respecting consent as well as aftercare from BDSM, and smoosh it together with the social friendliness and curious openness of swing.
There's judgement on both sides. And yet, we can clearly see a demographic who like both. The clubs market theme nights for both.
I'm surprised there is no Swinksters type alternative to both. Or maybe there is but I haven't come across it. "
Try searching online for Swinky Life, which is meant to be a link between swinging and kink by U.S.podcasters "The Accidental Swingers". They talk about it in one of their podcasts as an offshoot project after their introduction to kink. |
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"I would like to take the advanced levels communication for negotiation, emphasis on validating needs and respecting consent as well as aftercare from BDSM, and smoosh it together with the social friendliness and curious openness of swing.
There's judgement on both sides. And yet, we can clearly see a demographic who like both. The clubs market theme nights for both.
I'm surprised there is no Swinksters type alternative to both. Or maybe there is but I haven't come across it.
Try searching online for Swinky Life, which is meant to be a link between swinging and kink by U.S.podcasters "The Accidental Swingers". They talk about it in one of their podcasts as an offshoot project after their introduction to kink. "
Thank you! I love a good podcast. |
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I definately enjoy both, and enjoy clubs where both can co exist... |
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We definitely cross into both BDSM and swinging...know it is not for everyone, but works for us |
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Very much into my Dom side, have many ways to do it. |
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Mostly on the kink side myself but as I’m also polyamorous, I find this site can be good for new connections |
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We’re very much into BDSM kinks and darker fetishes. FET is hard to use and people not very reliable.
Here is better, but my advise is be open here on your account, post what you’re into, and what you want from others. You’ll still get guys who just wants to have fun messaging, but you’ll also get some really good experienced kinksters too. We’ve only met one guy who was on Fet and not here, he has joined now though. |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
Into both, I am actually organising some gangbangs with non vanilla participants, breath play, impact, bondage, ff, etc. Used Quest they have a little dungeon room, and I used Empire cinema for a 60/2 gangbang. |
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These are my views, others may think differently.
I think classic BDSM (enjoyment of the activities for themselves and not as a prelude to sex) is very different from swinging, and in my view they do not mix.
In my view classic BDSM is a matter of approach, therfore, it does not preclude BDSM participants also being into ethical non-monogamy.
It appears to me that people who are hedonists use the erotic practices of BDSM for the purposes of arousal, the endgame being to have sex or sexually touch someone or to be sexually touched. They are to BDSM the equivalent of those men at naturist clubs offering massages. A professional massage is an activity in itself not designed for sex (putting legitimate yoni massages aside as the concept is often misused, see any porn film called yoni massage). Non-professional massage therapists use massage as a sexual practice, professional massage therapists do not.
So it is the intent to arouse as a forerunner to sex, is to my mind where "BDSM and swinging crossover" occurs. The crossover does not have the classic BDSM mindframe of the activities being pleasurable in themselves, the crossover use BDSM as a sexual practice. This is successful because arousal is a safe practice and not edge play and therefore can be opened up to others to join in. Whereas a classic BDSM scene or play whether physical or mental is inherently dangerous and therefore is closely negotiated and is not opened up to others as it would not be safe to do so. |
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"...This is successful because arousal is a safe practice and not edge play and therefore can be opened up to others to join in. Whereas a classic BDSM scene or play whether physical or mental is inherently dangerous and therefore is closely negotiated and is not opened up to others as it would not be safe to do so."
We'd disagree with this - if by "arousal", you mean sexual contact, then this has just as much potential to cause harm as kink/BDSM activities.
Sexual assault and unintentional consent violations do not require any form of BDSM to be happening in order to occur.
The issue is that there are different expectations of what the "default" level of consent is going in to events run by different communities.
For example, in a swingers club, men standing and silently watching others play are considered a nuisance, not a consent violation, because there is consensus that this is expected (if annoying) behaviour in swinging clubs.
Most BDSM clubs we know of would consider this a consent violation and act very firmly to stop it, because this is NOT expected behaviour, and people attending have not consented by default to it by attending the event.
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That should say "men silently standing, *and masturbating* while watching others play". |
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"...This is successful because arousal is a safe practice and not edge play and therefore can be opened up to others to join in. Whereas a classic BDSM scene or play whether physical or mental is inherently dangerous and therefore is closely negotiated and is not opened up to others as it would not be safe to do so.
We'd disagree with this - if by "arousal", you mean sexual contact, then this has just as much potential to cause harm as kink/BDSM activities.
Sexual assault and unintentional consent violations do not require any form of BDSM to be happening in order to occur.
The issue is that there are different expectations of what the "default" level of consent is going in to events run by different communities.
For example, in a swingers club, men standing and silently watching others play are considered a nuisance, not a consent violation, because there is consensus that this is expected (if annoying) behaviour in swinging clubs.
Most BDSM clubs we know of would consider this a consent violation and act very firmly to stop it, because this is NOT expected behaviour, and people attending have not consented by default to it by attending the event.
"
As I said at the top of my post, people may take a different view, thank you for your contribution.
However for clarity I was referring to consensual activity between the parties for both BDSM and swinging. When I mentioned "arousal" I was referring consensual sexual activity between the parties. Non-consensual activity in either swinging or BDSM is unacceptable and I was not addressing that.
I suspect from the threads on this site, swingers see the wanking dead as consent violations as it is largely non consensual. Which is the difference between classic as swinger clubs tolerate the behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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We're much more into BDSM (Fet) than Fab and way more active on the kink scene.
This is just something we do every now and again. |
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By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago
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We are!!!! |
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"We definitely cross into both BDSM and swinging...know it is not for everyone, but works for us"
We are very much the same we love mixing things up to keep our relationship fresh x |
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me, still a regular at many munches and events |
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! "
I'm into both and have combined them at clubs like Jaydees. I'm also hoping there's some BDSM action at Sauna Sauna tomorrow and would be more than happy to be the subject if any visiting Dom/mes require one on the St. Andrews cross.
I'll also be at the HU9 event in Hull on 8th August.
I'm also on a Fetish site (I don't think we're allowed to mention it by name on here) as BarnsleyBi-Guy so if you work out which one it is please do message me should you wish either on her, on there, or both. |
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Love bdsm and kink but fet local is so quiet |
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It’s weird with him I’m a sub but since he’s left me to find women on this Iv turned more dominant with women the thought of me being his toy and me having my own that he’s only allowed to touch when I say has sent me feral 🙈🙈 |
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If anyone is interested bound server via discord is a active place for the BDSM community |
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By *essTTWoman 16 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world?
It's something I've wanted to explore for a very very very long time but not seem to be able to find a partner to build up the trust with in order to fully let myself go (most men want to be able to do certain things straight away which doesn't work for me) |
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Yep I'm both scenes. Have always kept them separate but am looking more at mixing them together, although I don't do pick up BDSM play. |
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"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world?"
It's a minefield, so many self-proclaimed experts. I would say that the best way is initialy to look at a munch, which is generally a get together organised in a pub, often a side room, but still a public area. The objective is a pressure free meeting where there won't be any play, but just a general chat with people of a similar mind. From there you can strike up conversations, meet people for later play, get recommendations etc.
However, before all that, try to work out what you want to get out of it. What are your limits etc. Without a clear idea of that you can end up going down a route that you regret.
Feel free to reach out if I can be any more help. |
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By *b9012Man 15 weeks ago
Gunnislake |
I’m looking to go deeper into the bdsm world, I have been playing for as long as I can remember. But as a lot of you have said there’s not many horizons available on fab. I do t want to be paying hundreds to go and see a pro domme. It would just be nice to find some one for some mutual fun. Or even just to chat about my kink |
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It's my lifestyle so it's not separate and it's part of all that I do. |
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"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world?
It's something I've wanted to explore for a very very very long time but not seem to be able to find a partner to build up the trust with in order to fully let myself go (most men want to be able to do certain things straight away which doesn't work for me) "
And that's not BDSM that's TV non reality..but good luck when you do find it..it's blissful |
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By *essTTWoman 15 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world?
It's a minefield, so many self-proclaimed experts. I would say that the best way is initialy to look at a munch, which is generally a get together organised in a pub, often a side room, but still a public area. The objective is a pressure free meeting where there won't be any play, but just a general chat with people of a similar mind. From there you can strike up conversations, meet people for later play, get recommendations etc.
However, before all that, try to work out what you want to get out of it. What are your limits etc. Without a clear idea of that you can end up going down a route that you regret.
Feel free to reach out if I can be any more help."
I have an idea or what I want to explore but just struggling to find the right person.
I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers |
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I'm in FL, but it's nothing more than free eye candy... |
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Yes but again nobody in my area !! |
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"...I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers"
Yes, it's one of the worst designed websites I know of.
Many people at munches do know each other, but the good ones have a member who's role is to welcome newbies. If they don't then probably one to avoid. To be honest, it's a bit like most groups/activities e.g. cycling clubs, they can get very insular. |
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all very new to kink but love it and love receiving a nice spanking by experienced spankers. Lovetrying new things too |
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I have never found 'the site that can't be mentioned' difficult to navigate. I do have other issues with it.
I don't use it to meet people. I do use it to keep in touch with people. It is a mine of information about interests and events. For me it works by meeting people in real life at events. You swap details you get access to their stream and thereby more information, more events, more people.
Munches are usually hit and miss in regard to information and it's not good form to hit on people at munches, but a lot of peopledo. It is also good to be tolerant of other people's fetishes. I am not fan of hedonism masquerading as BDSM, but the saying is "your kink is not my kink but I respect your right to express it" (provided the parties are consensual, and have been fully informed). Many peoples' kink and fetishes are based on sex, and that is fine with consent and parties being fully informed.
Although sex should not be assumed, and BDSM should not be defined purely in terms of sex and arousal.
If people are near Birmingham why not go to the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar and stay for the after party. There may be interesting people there.
Finally, matching to people in the lifestyle is difficult, meeting the right person in the fetish scene even more so
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"...I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers
Yes, it's one of the worst designed websites I know of.
Many people at munches do know each other, but the good ones have a member who's role is to welcome newbies. If they don't then probably one to avoid. To be honest, it's a bit like most groups/activities e.g. cycling clubs, they can get very insular."
That's our experience too.
The host makes or breaks it. |
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We enjoy a healthy mix of both worlds.
We are yet to find a decent club in the south West with a half decent dungeon area in it without going to swamps.
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