FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Men - Your thoughts? Am I right??

Men - Your thoughts? Am I right??

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago

Messages.

Hi

Hello

How's you

Good evening

Hi, I like your profile,

Hello ,,,,,, random message ( detailed and explanitory)

Usually gets ignored, Why?? Because women and couples are hounded by mass messaging. Is that their fault? NO, on this app women are probably out numbered 10/1 maybe 25/1 or greater.

So even if a person were to make effort in messaging, taking time, reading a profile and looking at the photos, for it to get ignored or as stated read and no reply.!? ( Which is worse!! )

As a guy, YES it gets frustrating to the point we give up on bothering to make that effort. Hence the messages get shorter and shorter..... what's the point if no effort is made from the single woman/couples

We just say Hi to see if there's actually a decent human being at the other end. If they actually do reply then a more detailed response will usually follow... but let's face it..

Women/couple will look at the person's photo and decide straight away yes or no depending on their preference. Can you honestly - HONESTLY say you check out every profile from a guy that says Hi!? Not a chance as there are too many.

That said, Women and couples do have the perogative to respond to whom they choose, which is anyone's right to do so, BUT consider the repercussions to a guy who has made the effort, clearly looked at their profile, their message received and read only to go ignored. ! Do you really think that Guy is sitting there going "fair enough" or "nexxxxt" doubtful,

So yes we get frustrustrated, we even doubt ourselves as people, we get tarnished by all the twats that are clearly a**holes whom message "wanna fuck" ( type messages ).

Swinging is a woman's playground for definite and they have the choice of whom what where. Most decent guys - all we ask for is some actual decency to respond if you've taken the time to actually read and look at that persons profile; whether yes please, tell me more OR a simple, not for me/us thanks.

That response is just as meaningful to an individual as any other and who knows, it could keep them with hope that they might be accepted for who they are and not just a piece of meat.

So, in conclusion, I urge the response, make the effort, take the time. There are guys out there with respect and decency.

Long live the K,,,, Sex lol.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ipstick KissesWoman 16 weeks ago

South Down

No thanks

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *AB74Man 16 weeks ago

stafford


"No thanks "

At least you replied....

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ipstick KissesWoman 16 weeks ago

South Down

Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?"

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) 16 weeks ago

Defo too many men to women o terms of ratio … that’s why a lot of men come on as straight but start getting more contact of or males

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *r CellophaneMan 16 weeks ago

Bury

Oh this is not going to go well ...

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ablo minibar123Woman 16 weeks ago

.

If you are the person to feel sensitive about not receiving replies, maybe fab isn't the place for you. I don't ask for messages from people who clearly haven't read my profile or just chose to ignore it, so no matter how polite they have been why should I reply?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ealitybitesMan 16 weeks ago

Belfast


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?"

It's my perogative too and I don't always take the time to say no thanks.

Of course I get fewer messages than many women but I don't see the point in responding to messages that don't appeal, don't respect my preferences or where there is no attraction.

I've had lots of messages not replied to and although I haven't sent a first contact message since the beginning of 2020, the first thing I always did after sending a message was to delete it rather than get my jocks in a twist over whether it would be read or not.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago

Note the - don't always, but clearly you have.

It's not about getting in a twist. And good for you with the messages, it's nice to see guys getting/using their perogative aswell.

No disrespect but, you're man candy. The photos, physique, the hungness, heck I'm bi and I would lol.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *enelope2UWoman 16 weeks ago

Fife

---- No thanks as my profile says which you haven't read we aren't compatible..

But why?you certainly are something I want to fuck..

---- No thanks good luck.

Good luck in what? I see you're still online.

---- It doesn't stop!!!

Block delete stops it! Until they create another profile and restart on the next.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *itty9899Man 16 weeks ago

Craggy Island


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?"

They don't. It why people go round and round in circles. It looks plan and simple. I don't message anyone I'm not disappointed with the lack of response. Just look at the naughty pic and have a wank.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago

Lol. Wank away,, wank away lol.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *essTTWoman 16 weeks ago

Birmingham


"

Swinging is a woman's playground for definite and they have the choice of whom what where. Most decent guys - all we ask for is some actual decency to respond if you've taken the time to actually read and look at that persons profile; whether yes please, tell me more OR a simple, not for me/us thanks.

That response is just as meaningful to an individual as any other and who knows, it could keep them with hope that they might be accepted for who they are and not just a piece of meat.

So, in conclusion, I urge the response, make the effort, take the time. There are guys out there with respect and decency.

Long live the K,,,, Sex lol.

"

Most men don't bother to read profiles but women are the rude/indecent ones for not replying "no thanks"??

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *eadingCouple1963Couple 16 weeks ago

Reading

Often a no reply / delete just stops the “Whys?”

OP do you respond to every piece of junk mail or spam email?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago

Those are the effortless ones! I agree no reply.

But the ones that do everything a woman/couple require as per their profile.... treated just as equally dismissively.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *essTTWoman 16 weeks ago

Birmingham


"

Swinging is a woman's playground for definite and they have the choice of whom what where. Most decent guys - all we ask for is some actual decency to respond if you've taken the time to actually read and look at that persons profile; whether yes please, tell me more OR a simple, not for me/us thanks.

That response is just as meaningful to an individual as any other and who knows, it could keep them with hope that they might be accepted for who they are and not just a piece of meat.

So, in conclusion, I urge the response, make the effort, take the time. There are guys out there with respect and decency.

Long live the K,,,, Sex lol.

Most men don't bother to read profiles but women are the rude/indecent ones for not replying "no thanks"??

High five!!! Told mine was to long to be read but mentioned every pic of my ass and boobs and how he'd make me cum."

I've had similar

Was told if my profile wasn't so long people would be more inclined to read it

Changed it once to "not meeting any new men"

Nothing more or less and still relieved messages of grief when I deleted, when I pointed out my profile I was told that I should hide my profile or ban men from messaging.

Seems like men often ignore their peers bad behaviour but constantly attack women for running their profiles how they like

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago


"Often a no reply / delete just stops the “Whys?”

OP do you respond to every piece of junk mail or spam email? "

Actually, even on our couples profile " IF I've taken the time to read their message" and "Look at their profile"

That's the point I'm trying to make. It's not neccessary about the junk/spam as you put it, but you can easily spot the effort mails.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *iverstMan 16 weeks ago

Rossendale

I understand both points of view.

A guy who reads a profile then takes time to put together a personalised message ends up wondering what all the effort was for when there is no response.

On the other hand when a lady gets so many messages she just literally can’t reply them, what are her options.

The Fab ratio is just to heavily on the male side – if it was more equal then the messages from guys would be spread between many more ladies so more productive all around.

I do understand the issue with winks too. Perhaps too easy to send lots of winks so again not enough time for ladies to look through the profiles of all those sending them. I wonder if rationing winks would make it better for the ladies – if a guy could only send 1 per day or week then perhaps that could make them get used with greater thought and less of a burden for the ladies.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago


"

if you've taken the time to

Most men don't bother to read profiles but women are the rude/indecent ones for not replying "no thanks"?

Changed it once to "not meeting any new men"

Nothing more or less and still relieved messages of grief when I deleted, when I pointed out my profile I was told that I should hide my profile or ban men from messaging.

Seems like men often ignore their peers bad behaviour but constantly attack women for running their profiles how they like"

The same could be said of women, our profiles too long too short, Men dont do this, don't do that, dont say hi, be different, be origional, add "Insert word" to your message. so on so forth...

Real/True decent guys on here have to comply with so many demands and expectations just to get a slight look in...

Where does it stop/start.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman 16 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Ladies. It's your lack of bothering to respond to every penis in your inbox that makes them put even less effort in. Do better

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago


"I understand both points of view.

A guy who reads a profile then takes time to put together a personalised message ends up wondering what all the effort was for when there is no response.

On the other hand when a lady gets so many messages she just literally can’t reply them, what are her options.

The Fab ratio is just to heavily on the male side – if it was more equal then the messages from guys would be spread between many more ladies so more productive all around.

I do understand the issue with winks too. Perhaps too easy to send lots of winks so again not enough time for ladies to look through the profiles of all those sending them. I wonder if rationing winks would make it better for the ladies – if a guy could only send 1 per day or week then perhaps that could make them get used with greater thought and less of a burden for the ladies.

"

Agreed.

Imagine a world if guys NEVER messaged a woman for sex!

How would that work? Would we be subject to abuse for not chasing? I bet the complaints would start .. lol

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ipstick KissesWoman 16 weeks ago

South Down


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?"

Because even though someone thinks they are what I might be looking for, they rarely are. So they might spend time crafting a wonderful message but they've often grasped onto one thing on my profile and completely disregarded everything else. And that's not on me.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?

Because even though someone thinks they are what I might be looking for, they rarely are. So they might spend time crafting a wonderful message but they've often grasped onto one thing on my profile and completely disregarded everything else. And that's not on me.

"

Agreed, but you also confirm you have read the message, taken a look and then instantly dismissed. Then claim not enough time to respond despite replying in the forums,,, it doesn't take long to respond to genuine people is all I'm saying. Xxxx

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ipstick KissesWoman 16 weeks ago

South Down


"Let me expand on that.

I'm here to meet those with whom I might do the sex with. I need time to build on those connections. I have a finite - often very limited - amount of time to spend on here. So, do I use that time to get to know better those who I might rub bits with? Or do I use it to reply "no thanks" messages to those who aren't what I'm looking for? Because if I choose the second option how on earth am I ever meant to make connections with people?

As per my statement that's your perogative, but IF you've taken the time to read and look, Surely then a simple "No thanks" effort message is decent! ?

Why should a guy make all the effort?

Because even though someone thinks they are what I might be looking for, they rarely are. So they might spend time crafting a wonderful message but they've often grasped onto one thing on my profile and completely disregarded everything else. And that's not on me.

Agreed, but you also confirm you have read the message, taken a look and then instantly dismissed. Then claim not enough time to respond despite replying in the forums,,, it doesn't take long to respond to genuine people is all I'm saying. Xxxx"

Am I not allowed to take time away from messages? To interact with the site in other ways? Must I deal with messages every time I log on? What if constantly sending constant refusals also gets me down and affects my experience?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *izandpaulCouple 16 weeks ago

merseyside


"Messages.

Hi

Hello

How's you

Good evening

Hi, I like your profile,

Hello ,,,,,, random message ( detailed and explanitory)

Usually gets ignored, Why?? Because women and couples are hounded by mass messaging. Is that their fault? NO, on this app women are probably out numbered 10/1 maybe 25/1 or greater.

So even if a person were to make effort in messaging, taking time, reading a profile and looking at the photos, for it to get ignored or as stated read and no reply.!? ( Which is worse!! )

As a guy, YES it gets frustrating to the point we give up on bothering to make that effort. Hence the messages get shorter and shorter..... what's the point if no effort is made from the single woman/couples

We just say Hi to see if there's actually a decent human being at the other end. If they actually do reply then a more detailed response will usually follow... but let's face it..

Women/couple will look at the person's photo and decide straight away yes or no depending on their preference. Can you honestly - HONESTLY say you check out every profile from a guy that says Hi!? Not a chance as there are too many.

That said, Women and couples do have the perogative to respond to whom they choose, which is anyone's right to do so, BUT consider the repercussions to a guy who has made the effort, clearly looked at their profile, their message received and read only to go ignored. ! Do you really think that Guy is sitting there going "fair enough" or "nexxxxt" doubtful,

So yes we get frustrustrated, we even doubt ourselves as people, we get tarnished by all the twats that are clearly a**holes whom message "wanna fuck" ( type messages ).

Swinging is a woman's playground for definite and they have the choice of whom what where. Most decent guys - all we ask for is some actual decency to respond if you've taken the time to actually read and look at that persons profile; whether yes please, tell me more OR a simple, not for me/us thanks.

That response is just as meaningful to an individual as any other and who knows, it could keep them with hope that they might be accepted for who they are and not just a piece of meat.

So, in conclusion, I urge the response, make the effort, take the time. There are guys out there with respect and decency.

Long live the K,,,, Sex lol.

"

I do take your point but if its something like an initial ...

Hi

We respond.

Hi, how are you

Your response

OK

Our reply

Have you met many people on FAB

Your response

No, you

Think you get my point.

It's like pulling teeth on the site, imagine what a real meet would be like and I'd suppose as we are on a sex site you would expect the night maybe to have a sexual element.

We've met some fabulous single guys, mainly at socials, parties, clubs and swingers holidays but met a few who would, at best, be described as socially inept.

It's all about the effort we have to put in and the return therein.

We generally do respond to a message with at least a sentence, one world, not usually.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

  

By (user no longer on site) OP    16 weeks ago

You do what you want, as per the OP, however if you took time to read a message, look at the profile, why not take the time to be decent. ?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

0.0625

0