FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Saying no thanks or just ignoring?
Saying no thanks or just ignoring?
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By *ragonbait OP Couple 44 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?
If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.
Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.
What's your usual method? |
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By *ickD80Man 44 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?
If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.
Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.
What's your usual method?"
Wow, that is so rude, it’s disgusting that they did that to you. What right do they have to tell you that they don’t fancy you? Why do they think it’s ok for them to tell you that they don’t fancy you? I’m actually in shock that you had to go through that suffering. |
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By *ragonbait OP Couple 44 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
It was very traumatic.
Ok, it wasn't, but it just made me curious about other people's approaches.
I would never say, sorry, you sound nice but your elbows are too bendy for my liking, so no. (Or, sorry, you look nice but your profile sounds deranged, so no.) Thought it was reasonable to ask what others do while I fail to sleep. |
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I don’t reply to winks but if I like the person I wink back, I reply to all messages even to say I’m not interested sometimes they have a proper meltdown and give me loads of abuse … I love it most when they block me because I know I won’t be hearing from them again |
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By *ragonbait OP Couple 44 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
"We try to respond to every polite message but as it’s Fab it’s often a “sadly we think you wouldn’t suit us but thanks for the 50 pics of your dick from every conceivable angle” "
Do you leave it as a general "wouldn't suit us" or would you get more specific "because of this or that"? |
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By *ularliWoman 44 weeks ago
Worcester |
I don’t respond to winks unless I like the look of the person that send it, it so I’d then wink back.
If I get a message from someone that isnt for me then I’m usually very polite and say not for me but I wish you well on here.
Most of the time that is fine but you do get the odd one that wants to know why and then questions my likes and preferences.
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Winks from those outside our profile preferences get deleted, as do those who do not interest us but are within our profile preferences.
Messages from those within our preferences who do not interest us get a 'thanks but no thanks' unless it's a repeat message, in which case it's a block and delete.
Messages from those outside our preferences, combined with a request that is outside our preferences will either get 'where does it say that is what we are looking for in our profile - it's maybe worth reading it before messaging' combined with a block and delete, or just a block and delete. If they can't be arsed to read our profile / respect our preferences, they don't deserve a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) 44 weeks ago
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We respond to winks fromm couples regardless if they are what we are looking for or not. We always view a wink as a sign that they are interested but we might not be looking for them. They might even be shy who knows. |
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"We try to respond to every polite message but as it’s Fab it’s often a “sadly we think you wouldn’t suit us but thanks for the 50 pics of your dick from every conceivable angle”
Do you leave it as a general "wouldn't suit us" or would you get more specific "because of this or that"?"
Usually just a polite “we wouldn’t suit each other”
Sometimes that prompts a “why not?” But this usually then doesn’t end well. |
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I don't reply to winks unless I'm interested in the winker... If someone I'm not interested in messages I always reply just saying not for me, but thanks and good luck /take care etc.
I hate it when people don't reply to me, so make sure I'm not like that to others. |
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By *archelCouple 44 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
We don't respond to winks unless interested.
If we're sent a polite message and they've bothered to read our profile, if not interested we always send a polite no thank you...but don't go into details as to why.
If we're sent a rude vulgar message, or they haven't read our profile...which 99% of the time comes from the wanking dead single guys...we either block, or if I'm feeling cunty I give them some shit, then block.
Mrs |
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Ignore winks
If we reply to messages in the negative we aren't specific about them personally and we often block. We might mention distance or our profiles not matching though. We usually wish them well
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"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?
If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.
Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.
What's your usual method?"
I'd love a reply like that. At least i'd know what to work on if the problem was on my part.
I appreciate however that as a man I've got so little interest taken in me due to weight of numbers that I can afford to reply to every wink and message that I find in my inbox - I've got more fingers on one hand on any given day.
I like to wink as I see it as a very understated hello, I'm interested, but it seems that women just see it as laziness and an annoyance.
I've got messages iin my sent box which were sent over a month ago and were never read, and others which were read and never replied to.
You can't win, I don't understand it, I think it's rude, but i'm not the one getting hundreds of messages to wade through everyday like the couples and women on here. |
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"I ignore winks and if a woman that I'm not interested in messages me, I will respond with a polite decline"
Just to add, I just looked at your profile because you're obviously successful on here and I often read successful guys profiles to get some pointers to help me moving forward. No offence or perving intended.  |
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By *ragonbait OP Couple 44 weeks ago
Reading and Aberdare |
"I'd love a reply like that. At least i'd know what to work on if the problem was on my part."
Supposing it's not something you can or want to do anything about? Just something specific to their taste?
Like I said, I think they thought they were being nice giving an explanation. But it made me feel a bit crap to read it (everything is made worse by insomnia!) whereas if they hadn't replied at all I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. |
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I never even look at winks, I forget they are there and see them as lazy.
As for messages if the person sending has sent a decent polite message I will reply with a sorry you are not for me. Sometimes I stop at that others I might say too far away etc. I would never give reasons about their appearance or anything that turned me off. There is no need and why try to upset someone?
If they just send a couple of words or 'how are you?' or 'What are you up to?' I would ignore and delete. |
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"I don't reply to winks unless I'm interested in the winker... If someone I'm not interested in messages I always reply just saying not for me, but thanks and good luck /take care etc.
I hate it when people don't reply to me, so make sure I'm not like that to others. "
Women tend not to reply to everyone because messaging back stops your filters working on the person you message if you chose to change your filters at a later date.
For example say I message you today then tomorrow change my filters so it would stop you messaging, because I have already messaged you before you can still message me again.
I want my filters to work if I decide to use them. |
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I usually just say thanks for the message but you're not for me if I've had a reasonable message.
I don't apologise or give a reason because i dont feel I need to. Most take it well.
Sometimes I get the why not...I don't enter into that conversation.
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I like receiving a no thank you message rather than being ignored, but I know many on here are inundated with messages so don't expect one.
I would expect a wink to be ignored if they weren't interested. |
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"Winks from those outside our profile preferences get deleted, as do those who do not interest us but are within our profile preferences.
Messages from those within our preferences who do not interest us get a 'thanks but no thanks' unless it's a repeat message, in which case it's a block and delete.
Messages from those outside our preferences, combined with a request that is outside our preferences will either get 'where does it say that is what we are looking for in our profile - it's maybe worth reading it before messaging' combined with a block and delete, or just a block and delete. If they can't be arsed to read our profile / respect our preferences, they don't deserve a reply."
Well said! (“,) |
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We don't even check winks honestly.
Messages though, we'd usually send a "thanks for your message, we only meet in clubs, our profile gives details of when we will be next out, hope you enjoy your week/weekend" type reply.
For those we aren't interested in, we usually just send a "no thank you".
Tbf, I'm not against telling someone why you aren't interested, very clear then so no more time wasted. I'd say we'd stay doing it but the level of abuse we get from the above responses is already ridiculous so I don't think our block list needs to grow any quicker. |
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I don’t really pay attention to winks. It’s never occurred to me to respond to one if I wasn’t interested.
I would say 70% of the messages I receive are from people outside my very clearly stated preference in my bio. So for me they either don’t read bios or read it and disregard what it says. Either way these people are not for me because they’re not looking for a mutually enjoyable experience, they’re only worried about what they want. So, I just ignore them. I don’t feel like I owe them the courtesy of a reply because the way I see it, they haven’t shown me any courtesy by messaging me
I also can’t stand a repeat messages, because I find this impolite and also slightly desperate which I don’t find attractive |
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We check the profile of those that wink, would wink back if we’re interested, then expect them to follow up with a message (surprising how many don’t, what’s the point of winking then?).
We would always reply to a nice message with a polite no thanks or let’s chat further. |
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"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?
If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.
Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.
What's your usual method?"
I don’t get any first winks or messages but I think it’s accepted that no reply is a thanks but no thanks
And remember they sent the message to you it’s like receiving junk mail, you don’t reply if you’re not interested but you do if you are
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By *xeterCandRCouple 44 weeks ago
Digby & Sowton, Exeter |
"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?
If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.
Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.
What's your usual method?"
We always reply, normally stating that is appreciated, at our age we have to take the good when we get it. X  |
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I normally wink as a precursor to a message, like a warning shot across the bows!
I dislike being ignored quite intensely (not just on here, in life generally) but, I also appreciate that anyone I'm likely to message has received 200 before mine and will receive 200 after so, while I would like a polite "thanks but no" I don't ever expect one. |
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"
Supposing it's not something you can or want to do anything about? Just something specific to their taste?
Like I said, I think they thought they were being nice giving an explanation. But it made me feel a bit crap to read it (everything is made worse by insomnia!) whereas if they hadn't replied at all I wouldn't have batted an eyelid."
If it's a taste thing, then that's fine, a simple not for me or no thanks, but if there's something thats offensive or a turn off on the profile then i'd welcome the constructive criticism. |
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Winks are just deleted if there's no interest...
Messages... Sadly, it's basically more hassle than it's worth to reply if I'm not interested and shock, horror... I do have a busy life outside of fab.
I warn in advance on my profile that I only respond to those I am interested in and still been bitched at for not replying.  |
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I don’t check my winks.
I don’t reply to anyone I’m not interested in.
Saying “no thanks” is pointless cos it’s usually met with “why”, further questioning or telling me they’ll change my mind.
So then I tell them why, and I’m the asshole.
Straight delete = a polite no thanks IMO. |
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We think it's nice to be nice & almost always reply to people's messages.
No one really knows what others are going through & we have had so many people thanking us simply for the reply, one fella said despite not getting a meet it made his day getting a message back.
Let's be honest it's really hard particularly for single males.
We have come across the occasional weirdo on fab but generally people are good.
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I hardly ever check winks to be honest, that not out of choice I just forget it's there as an option. I do reply to messages when I receive them. If I have sent a message it's nice to get one back even if it's thanks but no thanks. Appreciate through that couples and single ladies must get hundreds of messages to wade through, so don't expect a reply. it nice though when they do take the time out to send one. Happy fabbing everyone |
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I do get a lot of messages and I can work out who has gone to the trouble of looking at my profile, so quite easy to discard measages from those who haven't.
Those who clearly haven't read my profile are deleted.
I dont acknowledge winks |
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I always reply to every polite, complimentary or well written message I receive. I usually opt for “I’m not currently seeking (male/couple/female) meets” if I have no initial attraction. I think it’s a little mean to point out specific turn-offs about a person. |
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By *iseekingbiCouple 43 weeks ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
We like winks. Sending and receiving. Shows interest without either party having to send a full message. Dont see them as lazy at all. Much prefer a wink to the standard copy and paste mesaages that we get.
So wink away x |
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By *iseekingbiCouple 43 weeks ago
N ireland and West Midlands |
"I always reply to every polite, complimentary or well written message I receive. I usually opt for “I’m not currently seeking (male/couple/female) meets” if I have no initial attraction. I think it’s a little mean to point out specific turn-offs about a person. "
That's a classy way of handling it.  |
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By *oxy jWoman 43 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
winks = mass delete
messages if i dont fancy someone then its a st8 block simple and easy if the message is a porn script or just plain rubbish then again its a str8 block .... im on here to find meets so theirs zero point in not blocking as they just keep coming back i dont have time for that ... block block block
if more people did this then it would make life so much easier for yourself
the block button is like a golden buzzer   |
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By (user no longer on site) 43 weeks ago
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Any sort of rejection can be a bit crap as can being ignores. A bit of a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario. Pay it no mind, different people are looking for different things is all. |
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"We think it's nice to be nice & almost always reply to people's messages.
No one really knows what others are going through & we have had so many people thanking us simply for the reply, one fella said despite not getting a meet it made his day getting a message back.
Let's be honest it's really hard particularly for single males.
We have come across the occasional weirdo on fab but generally people are good.
"
As a single bloke, who researches bio's and tailors what i write...and is not rude...that is a lovely way to respond.
I appreciate and 'accept' i only get a few responses a week vs 100s a day to manage...
but playing my Smallest violin: Its the opening a message and not deleting that really does get to me (after the effort i put in)
Clearly need to toughen up!!
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I think a no thanks is the most polite although saying why may be a little inconsiderate depending on what they say. That said there are some arseholes on here that don't take rejection and get abusive. |
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Two camps on this topic , if its couple then tend to wink back or message if they did, single guys we dont bother due to the amount we recieve , if it come to the face pic exchange and things take a turn for the worse then just reply with your face pic and a polite not for us ,
X |
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I find it really difficult to ignore but am starting to learn from their opening message if i should reply politely no or just ignore.
Even as a sungle man i ha e had abuse and been blocked for saying politely not interested from both men and couples. Find it bonkers people cant have manners x |
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As an experiment I replied to a message today with a ‘sorry, but I don’t think we’re compatible, but best of luck etc etc’ instead of deleting/ignoring and immediately got a ‘why’s that hun?’.
It’s just not worth it! |
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