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By *nR OP Man 45 weeks ago
central Scotland |
I lost my better half just before Christmas. We had been in the lifestyle together for over 30 years. We were lucky enough to move around every few years which kept it fresh. Now Dawn has gone I feel that part of my life is missing. I don’t want to have any meetings, but I’m I wrong to remain on the site and post the occasional photo? She was very proud of her look for her age and love showing off her body. Are there any others on here who have lost a love one? |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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So sorry for your loss - it is your profile and if you want to share memories of your wife i can't see any reasonable person objecting.. Sending virtual hugs x |
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So sorry to hear this. Losing anyone you're close to, while inevitable, is just awful.
I agree with the others that you're not doing anything wrong. Specially of being on here, chatting and reaching out to people helps take some of the sting out of it. There are far worse and more destructive things you could be doing.
Stay strong, hold onto those fond memories and keep love alive in your heart. |
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Wow so so sorry for ur loss mate and from what I see you and your partner were in this lifestyle because it suited you both, don’t ever ever feel like you have to appologise for doing what you both wanted to do and I’m sure your partner would have wanted you to do exactly what you are doing. This lifestyle for couples makes couples stronger and I’m sure she would have felt just as strong now u putting her photos up to show her in her enjoying moments.
Stay strong pal and if u need a chat anytime you can message me anytime. |
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So sorry for your loss. It is hard when we lose a loved one. Why do you feel it wrong to stay on the site? I've been on the site and only had 1 meet with someone from the other sister/brother or whatever site it is LOL but we are also on this one. I don't get the meets for 3 reasons - distance (usually a million miles away), can't accom either way - me nor them and the others who don't read I'm disabled and think nothing of being abusive. |
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Heartbreaking after so long together. You obviously had a lot of fun and joy together in this lifestyle and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be on here and post whatever pics bring you and your fab friends happy memories. Hope it gets easier for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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I feel your loss sir. I lost my soulmate of 20 years just over seven years ago. We both loved the lifestyle and had been regularly using this site since 2008. When you lose someone who has been the other half of who you are the grief seems endless and bleak, all I can tell you is that the age old adage is true, Time helps to heal. Although the pain of loss is still very much there, I try to look at it that I was and am so humbled to have shared so much with her. You will find some inner peace in the future. And as my father once wisely told me , " someone is only truly dead when you stop thinking of them or talking if them" . Try not to cry because it's over, find an inner smile because it happened and you were part of it. |
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Your loss is great enough already without losing something that was clearly a large part of your lives together and we understand why you would want to remain here and continue to use the site. It all comes down to whether you can face that or not, given the constant reminders of Dawn.
Grief is a way of coping with loss, and it is never easy. Only you would know what Dawn would think of you remaining on here, and therefore only you can make that decision.
Whatever you decide, we wish you well and offer our sympathies for your loss.
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It must be incredibly difficult to navigate the lifestyle without your partner of 30 years. It's completely understandable that you would feel a void in that part of your life.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone copes in their own way. If posting photos helps you feel connected to your partner or brings you comfort, then there is no harm in doing so.
I'm sure there are others in the community who have experienced similar loss and may be able to offer support or understanding. It's important to take care of yourself during this time and do what feels right for you. Sending you positive thoughts and strength as you navigate this difficult time. |
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By *os19Man 45 weeks ago
Edmonton |
Sorry for your loss. If it feels right for you to post the occasional picture by all means do it.I know it not the same but a few years when I joined Facebook I found out a girl I went to school with pass away.Her family left her Facebook account but changed things so that it could be a sort of remembrance to her.In a way by keeping your Fabswingers account and posting a occasionally picture you are doing the same. |
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My condolences DNR.
I lost my partner to early onset dementia just before Christmas after having nursed her at home for nearly a decade.
I'm going the other way. I'm fresh off the boat after living in a monogomous vanilla box for a thirty years and now feel that i've been airlifted and dropped into a world that seems the same but nothing really makes sense and i've got to find my place in it.
I've always wanted to be part of this lifestyle, but she'd never entertain it, and so here I am.learning to feel again for the first time in what seems like an eternity.
I don't need to tell you that nothing prepares you for the silence of an empty house, or that feeling of solitude you have without that person there.
I don't want to replace her, or find her replacement but after a decade I'm not scared to admit I so miss the touch of a woman, I've not had any sexual contact in over eight years.
I joined here in the hope that might change and i'd make new friends in the process, but having been here for the short time I have, I honestly feel that mountain is next to impossible to climb.
Look, all the crying in the world won't bring them back, I still miss mine so so much, but I have to accept that I can't hide under a rock forever as much as I'd wish it.
If you have a circle of friends that can give you both mental, physical and social support then you're in a better place than I am - use them. It's them that will help you through this.
You're not offending her memory or betraying her. She'll always be there beside you in everything that you do. Take help and love where it's offered - if you have friends on this site and they're your community then stay - you already have people here.
There's no rush to do anything. You aren't in the right place aat the moment to have meetings, but posting photos? - why not.
It's why I posted mine. I'm no catch but at the same time I just felt it was the right thing to do, and if nothing else you're saying I'm still here, this is me.
I'm only a pm or a phone call away if you wanted to talk. I know what you're going through. Since that day the sky's a different colour and everything has changed.  |
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Sorry for your loss pal ... your profile belongs to both of you so you should keep it going .. your doing nothing wrong and I'm sure she'd want you to be happy .. her pics are a reminder of your good times .. we wish you all the very best .. God bless your wife xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 45 weeks ago
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Its hard when loved one dies .I haven't lost a partner ,but lost 2 best friends and it changed my life and then decided to get divorced so that was a lose but a good one . |
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By *nR OP Man 43 weeks ago
central Scotland |
I don’t believe that I was reported to admin for my profile stating I was a couple when I’m now technically single  . Apparently I have been trying to get meets as a couple. Since Dawn passed I changed our profile to “ No longer meeting”. For all the years we have used this site, I’m disappointed in that attitude from Admin. |
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