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Single female and clubs
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"I have been to a few clubs before, but always with a partner. I am thinking of going to one alone this evening.
Ladies, if you go on your own, any advice for a newbie please. Tha m you"
Let the Club know that you are on your own, if its a new Club to you get them to show you round and maybe get introduced to some people to give you someone to chat to. Otherwise, just have a great time and remember you are in charge of what you do  |
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"Hi, thanks for the advice!
Have you been to clubs on your own? If so, how was your experience?"
Only M has, on test runs to see if we’d like the place. Clearly a different dynamic! I hope to try one day though - Although it might be me following him in on the first night to get a feel & to tease him!  |
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"
Only M has, on test runs to see if we’d like the place. Clearly a different dynamic! I hope to try one day though - Although it might be me following him in on the first night to get a feel & to tease him! "
Sounds like you could have a fun evening!!!!
I'm thinking of this evening, just a tad nervous, but your advice makes sense.
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"
Only M has, on test runs to see if we’d like the place. Clearly a different dynamic! I hope to try one day though - Although it might be me following him in on the first night to get a feel & to tease him!
Sounds like you could have a fun evening!!!!
I'm thinking of this evening, just a tad nervous, but your advice makes sense.
"
I get the nerves, we’re always excited nervous which is part of the fun. I’m sure you’ll be fine, let me know how it goes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single and going to my first party tomorrow, so solidarity but no advice! Altho a couple I'm friends with will be there too so won't be totally alone luckily. No idea what to expect!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I wish I was that brave! My first visit is going to be with a platonic girl friend, that way we can just have fun with it, see how we feel and if we would want to go again with our men |
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I (female) have been alone before. It is definitely a different dynamic to going with hubby.
The clubs are usually really good when they know you're alone. Plus just remember that you're in control as someone else said.
Hope you had a good night OP x |
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"Hey, for information, had a fantastic evening! Met a group of ppl that really looked after me, and had great fun. Recommended to anyone, but, just need to be a tad extrovert "
Yes I'm an introvert and don't like people looking at me  |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"I like to go on my own but I'm way too shy and unconfident  "
Fake it till you make it as they say . If you go often enough to the same place and start to feel at home I'm sure the conference will come. |
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I started going to clubs on my own very recently. First Jaydees, for their Bi nights, then Greenhouse Sauna on their Bi Tuesdays.
First time on my own at Jaydees wasn't too bad as I knew staff and had some friends there. But at times it can be a bit boring even though I do try and talk to people (I am quite an introvert, too).
Greenhouse was a completely different experience- totally new place, with mostly men in attendance (that's what I was after). However, it's helping me with my confidence around groups, teaching me that, ultimately, I am in control of the situation. It's a great place to go if you want a lot of male attention but yes, you do need to be assertive enough to look after your own safety, ie:
if you're not into bareback, make sure the person has a condom on;
if you don't like hands/other body parts in certain places, just move them out of the way- one guy put his hand on my throat and my instinct kicked in immediately, I just pushed his hand away. He understood the message and didn't try it again.
I didn't have it at Greenhouse as all the guys were very respectful, but if it happens that someone tries to touch you or join uninvited, just be clear they're not welcome. If they insist, move away with play (yes, I know, pain in the bum) and report them to the management. |
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"Hey, for information, had a fantastic evening! Met a group of ppl that really looked after me, and had great fun. Recommended to anyone, but, just need to be a tad extrovert "
Glad you had a great time, maybe I should give it a go!  |
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Seriously ladies, do it!
As someone said fake it till you make it! Yes, it is nerve wracking, but, if you can get over the initial fear, it's great fun. The group I was speaking to were a mix of men and women, and all of them just really took the time to talk to me and make me feel comfortable. I will definitely, 100%, be going back! |
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By *eachy123Woman
over a year ago
Rochdale/Manchester/Blackpool and were ever the mood takes me |
All I can say is you'll never look back.
Let the staff or host know your there alone and they'll be happy to show you around and maybe introduce you to others (after all its what hosts are for)xx
Within the club environment you'll meet other women who maybe go alone there's a few who travel together,your never alone in feelings or thoughts we all ho through them for the first time xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really good thread. After my fb let me down for the third time, I think the only way I’m going to get there is by myself.
I think after reading this I’m just going to have to do it. |
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"Really good thread. After my fb let me down for the third time, I think the only way I’m going to get there is by myself.
I think after reading this I’m just going to have to do it."
Seriously, go for it! You will not be disappointed have great fun, and, do, let me/us know how you get on! When/where are you going  need the plan!!!! |
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Hopefully adding a bit of value, as I see this hasn’t been touched on as yet.
We have met quite a few single females at the clubs. Many will go as they feel safer in a swinging club than a vanilla pub/club firstly.
Then, it’s a case of what night. We know some females prefer a couples only night, as they feel the dynamics are more relaxed and feel comfortable in the presence of couples.
Equally, there are females that do prefer the mixed nights when there are single men available.
The females we know are very confident in themselves (whether that’s grown over time or was from day dot, is a mixed bag) on both nights and assured that no means no. So I guess it is a case of which dynamic you’d prefer.
Our final comment on this is that a few female friends that we know have ended a bit worse for wear and have come home with us, where no play has happened, and a case of making sure they had a good night, and woke up safe and sound, albeit a sore head, a good breakfast in them and a safe journey home.
So just take this into account, as we’ve had taxi drivers, here and abroad, who have picked us up from venues and whilst 99% are sound, like anywhere, there is always a couple of bad eggs that like to take advantage, especially when vulnerable.
That’s the “dad” lecture over but hopefully a couple of things that add value.
Lastly, we would say is that over the years, we are seeing more and more single females attending, including females in relationships coming for a night out. I know a number of these lovely ladies do hook up to make it a girls night out (both on mixed and couples nights), so definitely worth keeping an eye on the meets and events.
HTH |
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"Really appreciate you taking the time to reply. I honestly hadn’t given the taxi drivers a second thought  "
You’re very welcome.
The majority over the years have been good, but a small handful have taken the piss over the years, picking us up at the club, knowing what type of club it is and trying their luck.
On occasions they’ve dropped us to our home address, even asking if they can come in for a drink even though they were told we’re not interested in single men.
Had to tell a few to do one, and that’s even when we’ve been in a cab with another couple!
So just have your ducks lined up on that part of the night as well.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I was looking forward to a drink but this has made me thinking differently.
Thank you so much.
Think I’m going to do it sober so I can leave when I want and be safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to go to a daytime bit at one of the clubs near me but I keep hearing there will be loads of males and maybe wait to do a night time meet which is harder for me . I would love if we the single ladies or ladies contemplating going single to a club just put it in the meets ..so perhaps other single ladies who aren't feeling bold enough to go alone can just link up and go. That being said understandably you will also run the risk of guys who you may have given a no thank you to on Fab, turning up just because you've indicated you're going to be there. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I would love to go to a daytime bit at one of the clubs near me but I keep hearing there will be loads of males and maybe wait to do a night time meet which is harder for me . I would love if we the single ladies or ladies contemplating going single to a club just put it in the meets ..so perhaps other single ladies who aren't feeling bold enough to go alone can just link up and go. That being said understandably you will also run the risk of guys who you may have given a no thank you to on Fab, turning up just because you've indicated you're going to be there."
I’m doing Tease Tuesday solo next week at F, and there’s generally a few solo women in. Could be worth a try? |
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"Hi, thanks for the advice!
Have you been to clubs on your own? If so, how was your experience?"
I always tend to go by myself... with rare exception. This includes clubs I've never been to before. I've always let them know if I'm new and I've always had a good time.
However for me a good time does not mean I've played with anyone |
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"I only go alone
Much prefer it that way
No specific advice that isn’t any different to attending a club with anyone really.
Enjoy x"
We also have a kik group for lots of single women in the north west. We always say where we’re going incase anyone wants to join. Had lots of club nights now
Maybe worth thinking about for your area x |
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"I have been to a few clubs before, but always with a partner. I am thinking of going to one alone this evening.
Ladies, if you go on your own, any advice for a newbie please. Tha m you"
I've gone alone and have been the only black chick there so double alone. Just know yourself what you like and what you won't tolerate. If you use require condoms either put it on him yourself or make sure it's on the duration.. don't put your drink down unwatched and be aware of your surroundings even when playing. Guys like to have a go when you aren't expecting them or haven't invited them to play
Just be safe and aware |
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Speaking from a partners perspective knowing they'll be safe and respected is a huge thing for me. My Girl goes often on her own to a local club. We know the staff and regulars well. It's nice knowing when she's there on here own she's in a safe environment with people who have her back (not that she can't handle herself). I think the security, vibe and staff in a club is really an important factor to being able to go and enjoy the club care free when alone. |
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