FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Recognising red flags
Recognising red flags
Jump to: Newest in thread
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
I think that’s quite a personal decision, my red flags would not necessarily be the same as yours!
Is there any context to assist in answering the question?
Pixie |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
Assume they are lying until you have proof otherwise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Go with your gut op and you won't go far wrong .
Red flags for me pushing for a meet after 1 or 2messages ,chatting then going quiet then reappearing.
Not being able/willing to swap a face pic or meet for a social.
Trying to push me to something I'm not comfortable with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ours would be if they have been on the site for more than a few weeks and not been photo verified by the site. It’s easy, free and discreet no reason not to do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ours would be if they have been on the site for more than a few weeks and not been photo verified by the site. It’s easy, free and discreet no reason not to do it. "
We just cba taking the verification photo as the last time we did it rejected three times but 9/10 of our meets happen at club play where we are rather well known |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ours would be if they have been on the site for more than a few weeks and not been photo verified by the site. It’s easy, free and discreet no reason not to do it.
We just cba taking the verification photo as the last time we did it rejected three times but 9/10 of our meets happen at club play where we are rather well known "
same here. Never been photo verified but have plenty of meet veris on couples and single profiles |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you're in this same rabbit hole, see what common themes emerge. It is about you and me, not just the wasters. Knowing our own habits and patterns helps us to be prepared for potentially repeating the same mistakes.
Consider just messaging with people here for longer time frames, rather than new users.
Don't get drawn into sex chat, as some just want wank fodder.
Have your goals in mind, not theirs. Steer them towards it. Qualify them regularly, to validate that expectations are matched with your own.
Ensure you're progressing, not just having them getting you to tread water.
Consider a social meet in a club. If they say they go to them.
Watch out for what you are doing. Think rationally, not just emotionally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ours would be if they have been on the site for more than a few weeks and not been photo verified by the site. It’s easy, free and discreet no reason not to do it. "
Definitely
Also those who don't read and respond to my profile, random message but not the info I ask for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
If you keep falling down the same rabbit hole you're recognising red flags but ignoring them. Stop believing what people say, start questioning their motives and if it feels off cut the conversation. The nature of the internet, the anonymity it affords people and the fact that sex is the goal for many of the people you're talking to means they will lie and you need to be aware of that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Swap face pics early, move convo to WhatsApp with a burner phone ( never use your own it would likely be linked to your social media)
Arrang a short social early on and if this proves difficult then abort. Plenty of fish etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago
somewhere sweet and sour |
Oh hun. Do you want me to be your PA? Lol
Seriously though, trust your gut..it rarely lies.
This is why I prefer meeting at a club.
And it isn't just men. Women are hard work so I gave up lol just meet in the club, so much easier xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Go with your gut op and you won't go far wrong .
Red flags for me pushing for a meet after 1 or 2messages ,chatting then going quiet then reappearing.
Not being able/willing to swap a face pic or meet for a social.
Trying to push me to something I'm not comfortable with."
Totally this   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Assume they are lying until you have proof otherwise. "
Sounds harsh but I 100% agree with this. In particular with new accounts - I basically presume every new fem is actually a guy wanting a chugging account.
Look for basic pointers -
Unverified.
Verified by 1 male only
Loads of graphic updates
Last verified years ago
Attractive no sexual pics on show (usually nicked from FB)
The list goes on but that's the sort of thing that are an immediate red flag to me. If it seems to good to be true then in generally is.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Assume they are lying until you have proof otherwise.
Sounds harsh but I 100% agree with this. In particular with new accounts - I basically presume every new fem is actually a guy wanting a chugging account.
Look for basic pointers -
Unverified.
Verified by 1 male only
Loads of graphic updates
Last verified years ago
Attractive no sexual pics on show (usually nicked from FB)
The list goes on but that's the sort of thing that are an immediate red flag to me. If it seems to good to be true then in generally is. "
Some men think with their dick and send 'her' sex chat.
However they both get a lovely wank out of it so win win..  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd say look for a pattern of how your fruitless exchanges go, and learn to recognise that pattern.
Individual pointers as red flags can also come from genuine people just down to their circumstances. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Great advice already. But one thing myself and a few others I'm now genuine friends with on here will 'vet' profiles for each other. We'll get each other to have a quick look as a second pair of eyes often exposes the fakes.
We've 'outed' a LOT over the years. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Loads of graphic sex chat explaining how and what they will do to you but can’t do a FaceTime call or even exchange numbers…So you can perform like a porn star, make everyone in the room cum multiple times and prepared to turn up at strangers house or hotel but can’t do a FaceTime call before for introductions…
We get this a lot of our couples profile and wifey gets this as standard on her singles profile.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I know this is a sweeping generalisation but I get suspicious when messaging the male half of couples and all they want to talk about is their wife. Never ask any questions about me or engage in more general chat, it's always about how hot their wife is. I tend to feel that all I'm doing is feeding their fantasies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ihmMan
over a year ago
West Wales |
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
I have found, on this profile and our couples profile that it's really hard to tell who is and who isn't going to mess you around or isn't what they say they are. Some people are really easy to spot, some are really accomplished bullshitters, it gets tiresome trying to them out. That is why the Mrs and I pretty much only meet at clubs now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
Vague profile text..like I am a single man looking to meet women and couples.
No verifications but if there is do a trail
No pic content or if there is look at them closely as there are alot of people on here that pic collect and will try to use these pics as if they are their own.
Ask for a social or video call to prove they are real.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"How do you know when someones not genuine? I seem to be to trusting that people are tel ling the truth and keep falling down the same rabbit hole ! What are the red flags i should be looking for?"
I would usually think most will be fakes or dreamers. Both will be different if you are male or female.
A video phone chat first then progress to a coffee meet.
Myself I would be more likely to get those out of the way first so you hopefully know that person is real and likely to then progress on to a real meet where you enjoy each other’s company. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It will differ from person to person but for me the patterns I recognised with the people who would stand me up or cancel a meet at the last minute are:
Wanting to engage in very explicit sex chat straight away - they're just looking for a wank
Insisting on camming at an early stage - just looking for a camgirl they don't need to pay and once they got off I'd never hear from them again.
Being evasive about what they're looking for or what type of arrangement they want - "NSA fun" can mean a million different things and if they've no desire to tell me what it is they're looking for it has usually turned out that they're looking for a wank
Having one veri from an account that has since hidden their profile - I don't know the reason with this one, whether the veris were fake or what, but it was a noticeable pattern.
Insisting on moving messaging off-site almost immediately - normally I found those were the people who just wanted me to send them photos and had no intention of meeting, even if they made arramgents to meet.
It's worth looking in detail at the profiles where you've felt let down, find the commonalities between them so you can be on the lookout for those signs in future.
Good luck OP! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Red flags is totally depended on what you are looking for. My general ones are
- profile is sparse, cannot accommodate - a lot of times this is due to people being married or involved
- only wanting to talk on kik
- asking for pics all the time
- sex chat
- been on here a long time but no veris
I usually have the approach that most will say whatever to get into your pants so trusting your gut is essential.
If it looks to good to be true then it is just that! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
