FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Horrible messages
Horrible messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We’ve all had them but what do people think about it like Today especially I had a horrible email after complementing someone saying big girls are beautiful but the response was horrible saying I was just a small cock and a little boy which tbh Im not and happy being 6 inches and don’t think anyone should go through this so send me your thoughts anyway. |
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By *witch83Woman
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
Disrespect & abuse isn't acceptable regardless of who is the victim or the person saying it.
I had someone message me saying. Luckily I love curves or something similar (this was their first message to me). Quite frankly I don't give a sh*t if they do or don't like curves but I'm sure as hell aren't considering myself 'lucky just because 1 person likes my body type lol
I replied but wasn't abusive in any way though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I said that she was gorgeous and that a because she said she was big on profile I just said that big girls were beautiful being nice I get it if some people don’t like that but that’s just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I said that she was gorgeous and that a because she said she was big on profile I just said that big girls were beautiful being nice I get it if some people don’t like that but that’s just me "
She shouldn’t have been abusive, that’s not acceptable. |
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I'd been speaking with a couple for ages and they'd said that if they got some time free, we'd meet.
Today they posted an update asking for 3guys for tonight, I replied to offer myself up and was immediately blocked, I was raging because all they'd of had to have done was say no, not interested ages ago and I'd have left it.... anyway good thing I can't message them because for about an hour afterwards I really felt like sending a horrible message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think Women have enough god-awful messages that one just causes them to snap I know I would I've snapped at someone after having 5 convos not proud of it.They have at least 50 or so ongoing.
She shouldn't have done that but just take a deep breath before sending make sure your message gets across what your wanting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think Women have enough god-awful messages that one just causes them to snap I know I would I've snapped at someone after having 5 convos not proud of it.They have at least 50 or so ongoing.
She shouldn't have done that but just take a deep breath before sending make sure your message gets across what your wanting."
yes I agree obviously Should if thought about it first but this was my very first message to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd been speaking with a couple for ages and they'd said that if they got some time free, we'd meet.
Today they posted an update asking for 3guys for tonight, I replied to offer myself up and was immediately blocked, I was raging because all they'd of had to have done was say no, not interested ages ago and I'd have left it.... anyway good thing I can't message them because for about an hour afterwards I really felt like sending a horrible message "
yh I agree mate not nice atall and like you said a simple no thanks would have been good not block you |
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"Think Women have enough god-awful messages that one just causes them to snap I know I would I've snapped at someone after having 5 convos not proud of it.They have at least 50 or so ongoing.
She shouldn't have done that but just take a deep breath before sending make sure your message gets across what your wanting."
Exactly why I'm glad I couldn't respond, but it's frustrating to have built a rapport then be dismissed so flippantly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t let it get to you mate, there are trolls on here and also some nasty individuals, BUT they are in the minority. Nothing wrong with your dick and nothing wrong with the compliments you gave to bigger women  |
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I wouldn't get too upset about it. It sounds like the compliment you felt you paid was lost in translation. If she felt you were being mean, she's maybe thought she'd pay you back.
It's always nice to be nice, but sometimes it's not easy when you feel someone isn't affording you the same kind of treatment.
Forget, move on, and have a lovely weekend x |
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I'm not condoning her response but I don't think your message was polite either
Just because I refer to myself as big or bigger doesn't mean anyone else can, surely I politer message would just have been to call her beautiful rather than referencing her size, to me you commenting on her size is rude, and a back handed compliment as your commenting negatively too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cheers all will take the advice on board I’ve said the same in past and been replied to with nice messages this the first though but will learn from it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just wanted to put my opinion across. Im sure you ment it in a very genuine way and she had even put it on her profile. I have had a fair few messages before mentioning my size, im a bbw and sometimes they come across as been sarcastic and im not always sure if the message is genuine or not. Maybe thats what's happened here? Mrs. |
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"Cheers all will take the advice on board I’ve said the same in past and been replied to with nice messages this the first though but will learn from it "
It's not a nice feeling to be sent nasty uncalled for msgs...we were approached by a man a few years ago who made it pretty obvious he wanted an invite that night and was quite pushy about it..we were quite new to the scene so insisted on socials first..he wasn't having any of it so because he was knocked back I was just a fat C**NT and looked hideous...that got to me a bit but within a few hours I'd gotten over it and note that was a few years ago any other msgs we have recieved have been polite enough even when being told no thankyou..so don't take it to heart and don't let it put you off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out  she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem |
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"I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem "
A polite "no thanks, this isnt going to work" is all you need to hear. Gonna happen to nearly everyone on here at one point of another. But now, they really felt the urge to go the extra mile to be that special kind of twat huh? Running off wasn't enough, they had to message some choice phrase's to you as well?
Hope you reported them .
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"We’ve all had them but what do people think about it like Today especially I had a horrible email after complementing someone saying big girls are beautiful but the response was horrible saying I was just a small cock and a little boy which tbh Im not and happy being 6 inches and don’t think anyone should go through this so send me your thoughts anyway."
Did you read her profile before sending a message? |
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By *illanelleWoman
over a year ago
Ryde, Isle of Wight |
"I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem "
What an absolute bitch. I'm so sorry that happened to you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem
A polite "no thanks, this isnt going to work" is all you need to hear. Gonna happen to nearly everyone on here at one point of another. But now, they really felt the urge to go the extra mile to be that special kind of twat huh? Running off wasn't enough, they had to message some choice phrase's to you as well?
Hope you reported them .
"
No I didn't, and to cap it all they blocked me, but thick skinned and more careful about socials, I fully explain about myself, as personalty isn't enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem
What an absolute bitch. I'm so sorry that happened to you. "
Thanks its all good, I know what I am and how I look so maybe I should have explains before the social |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"I wouldn't get too upset about it. It sounds like the compliment you felt you paid was lost in translation. If she felt you were being mean, she's maybe thought she'd pay you back.
It's always nice to be nice, but sometimes it's not easy when you feel someone isn't affording you the same kind of treatment.
Forget, move on, and have a lovely weekend x"
Perfect advice in my view. |
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Talking about who someone's size and shape is quite judgemental even if it is said in a nice way.
I get that people need to start a conversation somehow, but that is an eggshell mind field.
You've triggered a nerve whether it was intentional or not.
Lesson learned perhaps.
However, abusive messages are also wrong.
This should be reported and blocked.  |
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"I am physically, disabled and suffer from Ptsd IED 2014, loss of use of arm and limp, had a social, the couple walked in she actually said omg no way and walked out she messaged you looked like a freak so couldn't do it, certainly helped self asstem "
There is only one freak in that scenario and it isn't you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve all had them but what do people think about it like Today especially I had a horrible email after complementing someone saying big girls are beautiful but the response was horrible saying I was just a small cock and a little boy which tbh Im not and happy being 6 inches and don’t think anyone should go through this so send me your thoughts anyway."
I actually hate when me send me this kind of message, it's a very swift delete without responding
She shouldn't of been abusive under any circumstances though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds aggressive. Everyone has off days and your approach wasn't the most subtle and if we had received it we may have responded more friendly if we were feeling good though we'd probably have said no thanks and moved on to the next if we were not having a great day. Quality of messages and conversations seems to be very important to a large minority here on Fab and in the swinging world. HTH |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't get a horrible message as such, it was quite funny, but they said that they'd read my profile and that I 'sounded like a deviant and was too dark for their standards'.
It made me laugh. I can only imagine it was from posting that BDSM test score thing on my profile *shrug* |
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I think this is where blocking works - ie from her point of view. If you have to act at all, best to block someone you are not interested in than be unkind to them like the lady did to the OP.
In general I am philosophical about blocking. I don't do it much myself but it ultimately makes this site more manageable for many people I think, including the person being blocked if you think about it.
(The one place where I think blocking really is rude is in ongoing forum disagreements, when someone has clearly seen your profile but they don't want you to see theirs - I find that pretty cowardly tbh and men can be the worst! You have to be careful about mentioning the fact too, per forum rules! Even then though, it's really their prerogative.) |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Rude, abusive or hurtful messages aren't nice but try and remember this. They're just words on a page, generally from a complete stranger.
So if you assign them no value they become irrelevant and meaningless.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP, just thank yourself lucky that you even got a reply…., I’ve been sending messages to women on here for over two years and can more or less count the replies on one hand.
I think there’s better chance of me growing wings and flying to the moon than to ever get a meeting….. let alone getting a chance of a play. |
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"Just don't ever mention size/age etc. Just pay the compliment... "You look beautiful" end of."
--Yeah she might not have meant she was big in a 'niche' or a fishing kind of way (unless perhaps she kind-of wanted to hear she wasn't!), it's always best to be careful.
At least the OP said big 'is' beautiful though, not 'can be' lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the OP, just thank yourself lucky that you even got a reply…., I’ve been sending messages to women on here for over two years and can more or less count the replies on one hand.
I think there’s better chance of me growing wings and flying to the moon than to ever get a meeting….. let alone getting a chance of a play."
So because you can’t get a reply the OP should think herself lucky for getting abuse?  |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"To the OP, just thank yourself lucky that you even got a reply…., I’ve been sending messages to women on here for over two years and can more or less count the replies on one hand.
I think there’s better chance of me growing wings and flying to the moon than to ever get a meeting….. let alone getting a chance of a play."
Really!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the OP, just thank yourself lucky that you even got a reply…., I’ve been sending messages to women on here for over two years and can more or less count the replies on one hand.
I think there’s better chance of me growing wings and flying to the moon than to ever get a meeting….. let alone getting a chance of a play.
So because you can’t get a reply the OP should think herself lucky for getting abuse? "
The OP is male.... and he commented about the lady's size.... he is lucky he only got any reply at all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the OP, just thank yourself lucky that you even got a reply…., I’ve been sending messages to women on here for over two years and can more or less count the replies on one hand.
I think there’s better chance of me growing wings and flying to the moon than to ever get a meeting….. let alone getting a chance of a play.
So because you can’t get a reply the OP should think herself lucky for getting abuse?
The OP is male.... and he commented about the lady's size.... he is lucky he only got any reply at all!"
Apologies. I’ve got this thread mixed up with another on a similar subject. |
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Tbf there’s a lot of women on here that are right up their own arsehole !
Getting so much attention on here flatters their egos to the point of forgetting reality - you only have to read such the like in status updates and profiles
No need for rudeness on either side.
Don’t worry too much about it perhaps she just took it wrong
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbf there’s a lot of women on here that are right up their own arsehole !
Getting so much attention on here flatters their egos to the point of forgetting reality - you only have to read such the like in status updates and profiles
No need for rudeness on either side.
Don’t worry too much about it perhaps she just took it wrong
"
Your hair is fucking unreal! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After chatting to a guy with no pic ( first mistake) for a while, we sent each other face pics( second mistake) . He really wasn't my cup of tea, so politely said he wasn't my type and it wouldn't end in a meet. He proceeded to tell me that was fine as I looked like something his dog fucked last week.
I just blocked him and carried on my day. I think if you take things too personal on here you're setting yourself up for upset. Some people just aren't worth the time you waste worrying about it. |
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"After chatting to a guy with no pic ( first mistake) for a while, we sent each other face pics( second mistake) . He really wasn't my cup of tea, so politely said he wasn't my type and it wouldn't end in a meet. He proceeded to tell me that was fine as I looked like something his dog fucked last week.
I just blocked him and carried on my day. I think if you take things too personal on here you're setting yourself up for upset. Some people just aren't worth the time you waste worrying about it. "
-Lucy escape, nothing less. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
Get her to verify you. I assume she knows you personally given she recommended the site to you?
It does help having that first verification.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After chatting to a guy with no pic ( first mistake) for a while, we sent each other face pics( second mistake) . He really wasn't my cup of tea, so politely said he wasn't my type and it wouldn't end in a meet. He proceeded to tell me that was fine as I looked like something his dog fucked last week.
I just blocked him and carried on my day. I think if you take things too personal on here you're setting yourself up for upset. Some people just aren't worth the time you waste worrying about it.
-Lucy escape, nothing less."
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
Perhaps rethink your expectations and what wonen are looking for from this lifestyle. Removing the reference to being "sick of paying for escorts" from your profile, might help! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
You have a really negative and off putting profile text. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
I can’t imagine why you can’t get a response. |
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
Have a look at the guys who have verified her, see if they have met others, then compare your profile to those guys |
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
do the exact opposite of what you've been doing, apply to everything. could always ask friend for advice, but then again her judgement thinking fab.com. good for a single straight male makes me think, any reason for her to wish rejection on you on a large scale? |
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"After chatting to a guy with no pic ( first mistake) for a while, we sent each other face pics( second mistake) . He really wasn't my cup of tea, so politely said he wasn't my type and it wouldn't end in a meet. He proceeded to tell me that was fine as I looked like something his dog fucked last week.
I just blocked him and carried on my day. I think if you take things too personal on here you're setting yourself up for upset. Some people just aren't worth the time you waste worrying about it.
-Lucy escape, nothing less."
Certainly a lucky escape if he is in the habit of bringing his dog to a meet! |
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"We’ve all had them but what do people think about it like Today especially I had a horrible email after complementing someone saying big girls are beautiful but the response was horrible saying I was just a small cock and a little boy which tbh Im not and happy being 6 inches and don’t think anyone should go through this so send me your thoughts anyway."
how honest you want response to this post? direct bloke to bloke or a 'sticks and stones ' one? |
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice?? "
My advice is to stop assuming that women on fab are a free alternative to escorts. |
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"I was recommended fab by a friend (woman) and signed up with genuine enthusiasm only to be still trying my best even to get a response. ?? any advice??
My advice is to stop assuming that women on fab are a free alternative to escorts."
He mixed up fab with instashag. Twitchy finger on the block button... |
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"Tbf there’s a lot of women on here that are right up their own arsehole !
Getting so much attention on here flatters their egos to the point of forgetting reality - you only have to read such the like in status updates and profiles
No need for rudeness on either side.
Don’t worry too much about it perhaps she just took it wrong
"
This is so true
Well said!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Squaddie pal shouldn’t let that get you down some very bitchy bitchs on here all foyer pics wouldn’t get a second look in the real world ugly on the inside as well as fake on the pics |
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Just report inappropriate behaviour from others, block and move on. It's not right or acceptable and being here can need you to develop a thick skin.
They are outweighed by the mmany fantastic people here though |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Try not to take it to personally, almost all the time these are people who do not actually know you at all and I just hiding behind the keyboard. It's not personal if they don't really know you. |
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