FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ladies - how do you pick your meets?
Ladies - how do you pick your meets?
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Everyone's answer will be different
I often post a meet at short notice because I'm feeling horny, leave it up for 30 minutes, go through the responses & message anyone whose profile I like the look of
Often it's but someone I'd usually not usually be interested in but they were in the right place at the right time & are available for some 'quickly' fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would prefer to meet up early on to check the vibe, don't find it easy to get to know people by messaging so prefer a coffee meet instead. "
Yep this for me too and also if someone takes too long to ask I’m liable to lose interest |
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I like to meet up relatively early on, too (like one of the previous posters), but at my own pace, not because he's horny now.
I need to feel some connection with the guy, and need to be able to have a bit of conversation in here where I don't need to be a code breaker to decipher his messages.
Recent pictures would be good- any profile with pics older than 2-3 years are a red flag for me. Same with verifications - red flags if the person has been on site for a while but only has webcam veris (are they just into camming then?); also red flag if the most recent veri is 3 years ago or more.
"Cannot accommodate" on profile doesn't bother me too much as long as they can meet my availability. |
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By *eachcplCouple
over a year ago
blackpool/preston/normandy france |
I have no hard and fast rules about picking guys, but there has to be some physical attraction so anyone who messages without photos is immediately discarded and blocked. How guys can expect to get a meet without letting a woman see how they look is deluded.
Any guy who sends a message like "get round here now and I'll fuck you", yes I did get that message last Saturday, immediate block.
Some guys just have no idea how to chat to a woman and if that's the case then there is no incentive to even consider meeting. I and we have met some great guys over the years. It is hard to say why we met them in the first place but it was probably the way messages passed initially.
Just don't act like what is dangling between your legs. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
My standards for meeting someone are the same as dating them, more or less. Make me laugh, make me feel safe, make me think. I want to look forward to receiving a message from you.
No drama. Ever. If you’re married, if you’re fresh out of a breakup, if I think you don’t care about consent, it’s not worth it.
Bluntly. you have to be more appealing than a night in with a good book and some sex toys. |
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"What is it for you that tips you over from just chatting to wanting to meet with someone on here?"
If I start chatting to someone, it's usually because I want to meet and I ask for a social as soon as we can both make it.
I decide over a coffee with them. |
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"What is it for you that tips you over from just chatting to wanting to meet with someone on here?"
1. There must be attraction so face pics are swapped early on in chat.
2. He must be of a reasonable intelligence, passionate, caring and tactile. He must love kissing and be able to get hard for a reasonable time 
3. Hopefully able to accommodate and not too far away.
4. A social is a must, unless chatting in a club.
5. He must not be cheating on his partner !! |
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"What is it for you that tips you over from just chatting to wanting to meet with someone on here?"
I'm the female of the couple and I prefer maturity, not necessarily an age thing but how they come across and how they speak to and treat women..intelligent msgs get my attention. |
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I haven't met on my single account for years ,it's rare I find someone I want to meet tbh.
I would look for someone I click with ,who isn't pushy about meeting and can hold a good conversation.Also who I'm attracted to and will meet socially with no expectations.
I know I'm asking lots lol
Miss |
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"If they talk to me like a normal person, not like a free sex worker.
"
This 100%
Just because we’re on a sex site doesn’t mean I don’t have standards/morals and want to be spoken to with zero respect.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people on online dating sites (which Fabs does come under) are only interested in making quick decisions mostly biased on the initial message and instant attraction.
However, there is no magic formula to engage conversation with women on any dating or hook up site.
You can try your hardest to write the best profile bio and load up the best photographs you can find, you’ll still be sunk behind a hundred other messages from fuckwit blokes sending crude “fancy a fuck” messages and a barrage of dick pics. |
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Someone who actually reads the message you sent them and sends “a recent face picture not there cock”
I ask for a picture so I don’t waste anyone’s time as I don’t find beards attractive on my man so I ask for a face picture nearly every time not to be a cow it’s too see if you jane facial hair cos if you do then there’s no point is chatting further cos it’s a huge Turk off for me. With respect I don’t mean it personally to offend it’s just too check for growth ha ha
Usually men don’t read it and send rude pictures |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they talk to me like a normal person, not like a free sex worker.
This 100%
Just because we’re on a sex site doesn’t mean I don’t have standards/morals and want to be spoken to with zero respect.
"
Also, just saying, sex worker or not women should be spoken to with respect. Just because you’re paying doesn’t mean you get to be a cunt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they talk to me like a normal person, not like a free sex worker.
This 100%
Just because we’re on a sex site doesn’t mean I don’t have standards/morals and want to be spoken to with zero respect.
Also, just saying, sex worker or not women should be spoken to with respect. Just because you’re paying doesn’t mean you get to be a cunt. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it for you that tips you over from just chatting to wanting to meet with someone on here?"
A guy needs to send me more than fancy a fuck message. He needs to stand out. If he's read my profile it will be evident in his message and he'll generally get a reply.
If someone can grab my attention with decent conversion and make me laugh I'll move to kik. If the conversation flows I like to meet pretty soon after that for a coffee to see if that attraction is there in person.
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"Men just remember you are entitled to be just as "fussy"  "
Absolutely!! I enjoy the chase, I don't want easy sex. I find it boring. I would much prefer a fussy man to think that I am his type, than a guy who just wants sex with anyone |
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"I would prefer to meet up early on to check the vibe, don't find it easy to get to know people by messaging so prefer a coffee meet instead. "
^ this
Too many messages just end up either friend-zoning or chatting your way out of a meet that might produce the inexplicable chemistry text can’t. |
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"Most of the points have already been said.
Good profile, clear face pics, banter, respectful. Happy to meet for a social. "
This.... and for me, not a lot of cock pics on your profile. I've seen a few and they're not the best looking critters especially when they're all angry and veiny  |
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Decent pics - not over a toilet or the mop in the bathroom .If in your bedroom . Tidy it up
No clothes etc on the floor or hanging out the chest of drawers. A messy room = a messy F. No pants around your knees . First impression are everything. Learn to crop your pics . There is a big ratio of men to woman . You need to stand out for the right reasons . A flaccid C is enough to make the average woman run a mile . |
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By *inx_xxWoman
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
You would think it would be easy... But it seems to be impossible (sound so old, but it's not like the olden days)
1. Manners
2. Don't start with, Hey, fancy a fuck
3. Banter
4. Relaxed at having a social
5. Not pushy
Just like you would in a club swingers or otherwise.
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By *inx_xxWoman
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Decent pics - not over a toilet or the mop in the bathroom .If in your bedroom . Tidy it up
No clothes etc on the floor or hanging out the chest of drawers. A messy room = a messy F. No pants around your knees . First impression are everything. Learn to crop your pics . There is a big
ratio of men to woman . You need to stand out for the right reasons . A flaccid C is enough to make the average woman run a mile . "
Cock pics over the toilet is a classic  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember me if we’ve chatted before, don’t just start a new conversation like I’m someone you’ve not spoken to and definitely don’t send a message that is obviously for someone else by mistake. |
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