FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Couples "poaching" the female half
Couples "poaching" the female half
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Curious if anyone has had any experience with this?
Where the messaging from a couple is very directly asking for play excluding the male half of a couple or even worse where you've met up with them and it's become apparent they were only interested in the female half?
We tend to avoid profiles that have "no males" plastered all over them just to avoid this potential drama!
Thoughts, opinions, experiences? |
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Happened twice when I was playing with a friend
Quite annoying really had they made it clear they was more interested n the female maybe another approach could have been taken
Met one couple in Ipswich who insisted in playing in separate rooms only to find out he gave my friend his number and made her ring him while there to get her number and for months they tried to get her to meet alone |
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Frustrating really, sorry to hear its happened to you guys!
It's one of the big reasons we don't generally play with couples, literal worst nightmare situation.
At least in a 3 you know how everyone feels! |
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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago
N Peterborough. |
Yes, has happened before.
Mr has left room and couple have started kissing Mrs.
Been on a social where the conversation stopped when Mrs went to ladies and restarted as soon as she got back.
At a gb things have been said to us individually to manipulate us into agreeing to sexual acts. They must assume we don't talk to each other.
In an mfmf it quickly became an mff.
We rarely meet couples now, prefer single guys or groups of guys with an escort. |
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We had a meet where the guy made it very obvious that he was only interested in watching me (Mrs) with his wife. Which given that I'm straight and made that very clear was a bit awkward  . Another time we also made it clear that I'm straight to the point that the other woman implied I was going on about I a bit too much. She then said she would only be playing with me. I'm still trying to understand the thought processes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Strangely, this is what we seek. (Though our profile is quite specific what we seek right now).
We hope to find a couple for Mrs A to enjoy and be enjoyed, whilst Mr M plays only with Mrs A.
Once comfortable, it's possible Mrs will play without Mr.
Nobody seems keen.  |
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Many, many times. Or in a club I will only be approached when hubby goes to the bar etc and they will only talk to me and ignore him. Some have gone as far as to try and get between us and have their back to him like he doesn't exist. They are made aware that this isn't acceptable  |
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Yes ive seen quite a lot of this, sneaking behind the male halfs back to get her number, also seen single males doing this. Red flags for me are when they want to take conversation off here and just text between mobiles as there is nothing wrong with chatting on here and makes me think there is a hidden agenda.
T |
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"Many, many times. Or in a club I will only be approached when hubby goes to the bar etc and they will only talk to me and ignore him. Some have gone as far as to try and get between us and have their back to him like he doesn't exist. They are made aware that this isn't acceptable "
We often have this same experience x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Strangely, this is what we seek. (Though our profile is quite specific what we seek right now).
We hope to find a couple for Mrs A to enjoy and be enjoyed, whilst Mr M plays only with Mrs A.
Once comfortable, it's possible Mrs will play without Mr.
Nobody seems keen. "
This is pretty much what we’re after too! |
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Honestly I have to say I have had the opposite, I’ve had couples that I have spoken to for weeks only to find that the woman in the relationship pushes her man onto me or says she’s not involved only the male half (please don’t say it’s a bloke because nine times out of ten they have verifications on their account) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened a few months ago. They basically said they wanted to meet just dee. Were fairly rude about it as well so we just blocked them. Apparently we weren't the first they tried this on either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happened a lot with my ex FWB (who I had a couple profile with). There wasn't a lot of interest in him, he was quite cool though. People would also find my single profile and switch to messaging on that one.
There are couples desperately looking FFM and switch to this tactic to try to get it. As we were looking for FFM too, I used to say "I will meet you for FFM if the Female will return the favour and do FFM with my FWB & myself"..They always said no or just went quiet ..
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It’s happened to me quite a few times with a partner, met a couple for a social and they made it clear when we met they were just looking for a female for her. The guy even suggested I sit at a different table with him! Anyway told them numerous times not interested in that scanario, but they continued and in the end we just got up and walked off ! |
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"Curious if anyone has had any experience with this?
Where the messaging from a couple is very directly asking for play excluding the male half of a couple or even worse where you've met up with them and it's become apparent they were only interested in the female half?
We tend to avoid profiles that have "no males" plastered all over them just to avoid this potential drama!
Thoughts, opinions, experiences? "
Sadly, the first guy we ever met tried this on. In hindsight his MO was there to be seen but at the time we were quite naive. Fortunately we vowed always to be honest with eachother and as a result we never met him again. |
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Crazy that this seems to be a lot more common than we had initially thought!
I really can't imagine how shit it must be being put in a position where you're the sexual "4th wheel"
Thank you to everyone who has commented so far x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very early on when I was with my ex on our couple profile, we started chatting to another couple and it moved onto kik. Me and my ex both had separate kik accounts (as we liked to speak for ourselves), but twice what happened would be the male half of the other couple contacted my ex directly to try and arrange play with her only 
I hindsight, there was a chance that at least one of them was a single male pretending to be a couple (or at least using an account for someone he was no longer with), but my ex had zero interest in messing up a relationship for a quickie at the time and it out her off fab for a while. Plus, it was very, very disrespectful from the legitimate couples account to try and do it as well |
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We have had it. At the same time when we have been looking for a FFM and we have had couples message us we tell them what we are looking for and upfront but wouldn't ever expect a couple to play separately which is why when we are looking for a FFM we don't even search couples. We wouldn't ever expect a couple to play separately because we only play as a couple. |
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Yes, when I was on here as a couple we had quite a few messages from couples asking if she played alone, so we added that we don't to the profile. They still asked!
Then at a big house party we were chatting to another couple, I went to get a drink and when I came back they'd asked her to play alone. Pretty insulting tbh. |
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"Yes, when I was on here as a couple we had quite a few messages from couples asking if she played alone, so we added that we don't to the profile. They still asked!
Then at a big house party we were chatting to another couple, I went to get a drink and when I came back they'd asked her to play alone. Pretty insulting tbh. "
The messages don't really bother us as they're plenty easy to ignore, it's the in person situations like the one you've just written that puts us off, how rude and insulting!! |
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It happened a number of times at clubs with my ex, you would meet a couple and they would chitchat with the pair of you and the girls would have a natter and let the guys have theirs. As soon as you end up in a room playing they would forget about me and just focus on her. You would get a brief half arsed bj from the other fem and that's it. Then once everything was over they were off and saying thanks to her but ignored me being there.
It did get a tad frustrating at times but at the same time I am a big perv so I am more than happy to watch my partner enjoying herself. |
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It happened to me the other way round … twice, where only the straight female of both couples wanted to play with my then husband . In both cases their husbands didn’t play at all.
One became clear during the social , the other… once my ex was already engaging with the wife did the husband own up to not playing , despite 2 previous socials it had not been mentioned . Him and I watched QI |
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"Curious if anyone has had any experience with this?
Where the messaging from a couple is very directly asking for play excluding the male half of a couple or even worse where you've met up with them and it's become apparent they were only interested in the female half?
We tend to avoid profiles that have "no males" plastered all over them just to avoid this potential drama!
Thoughts, opinions, experiences? "
Yes it seems to be the majority of couples wanting this. Male half of a couple messaging ignoring that we are a couple. Then add "your husband can watch if you like" for this reason we are no longer looking for couples. |
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"
The messages don't really bother us as they're plenty easy to ignore, it's the in person situations like the one you've just written that puts us off, how rude and insulting!! "
Yes, it really put a bit of a dampner on the night. |
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"It happened a number of times at clubs with my ex, you would meet a couple and they would chitchat with the pair of you and the girls would have a natter and let the guys have theirs. As soon as you end up in a room playing they would forget about me and just focus on her. You would get a brief half arsed bj from the other fem and that's it. Then once everything was over they were off and saying thanks to her but ignored me being there.
It did get a tad frustrating at times but at the same time I am a big perv so I am more than happy to watch my partner enjoying herself."
Impressed with the positive spin on what must have felt like a crap situation at the time!
I've been in a somewhat similar position with the "half hearted bj" not brilliant! |
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"It happened a number of times at clubs with my ex, you would meet a couple and they would chitchat with the pair of you and the girls would have a natter and let the guys have theirs. As soon as you end up in a room playing they would forget about me and just focus on her. You would get a brief half arsed bj from the other fem and that's it. Then once everything was over they were off and saying thanks to her but ignored me being there.
It did get a tad frustrating at times but at the same time I am a big perv so I am more than happy to watch my partner enjoying herself.
Impressed with the positive spin on what must have felt like a crap situation at the time!
I've been in a somewhat similar position with the "half hearted bj" not brilliant! "
It just frustrating because on one hand everyoje _oans about single guys being nightmares at times, but from expierence in clubs we never had an issue at all, where as couples seemed to be the ones that were the trouble if there was to be any.
Overall though we had a great time and these little things were just minor things you looked past and put down to questionable individuals. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"It happened a number of times at clubs with my ex, you would meet a couple and they would chitchat with the pair of you and the girls would have a natter and let the guys have theirs. As soon as you end up in a room playing they would forget about me and just focus on her. You would get a brief half arsed bj from the other fem and that's it. Then once everything was over they were off and saying thanks to her but ignored me being there.
It did get a tad frustrating at times but at the same time I am a big perv so I am more than happy to watch my partner enjoying herself."
That’s pretty mercenary behaviour on their part, nonetheless. How disrespectful. |
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"Very early on when I was with my ex on our couple profile, we started chatting to another couple and it moved onto kik. Me and my ex both had separate kik accounts (as we liked to speak for ourselves), but twice what happened would be the male half of the other couple contacted my ex directly to try and arrange play with her only
I hindsight, there was a chance that at least one of them was a single male pretending to be a couple (or at least using an account for someone he was no longer with), but my ex had zero interest in messing up a relationship for a quickie at the time and it out her off fab for a while. Plus, it was very, very disrespectful from the legitimate couples account to try and do it as well "
This is the main red flag to look for, there is no reason to take chat off here other than to cut one half out of the conversations. There are some very very slimey people about who will do some nasty things to get what they want you just need to be vigilant.
T |
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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouh |
Yes we’ve had this too. A few people have my number (as I, Mrs, do all of the arranging) but the Mr knows he has nothing to worry about. But still get msgs now and then trying to get me to meet without him.
Have one who’ll msg every few months to see if we’re still together
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah we've sort of seen this happen too. The Mrs does most of the fabmin on our profile. Met people and in Kik conversation with them. Then every now and again messages direct to the Mrs instead of group chat. They are just ingnored and unfriended on fab. |
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Not had this directly as I'm straight, but on our couple profile, still had couples assume I'll be playing with the lady of the couple. Even when it's clear on our profile I'm straight, also used to get couples wink/message me on this profile, I've blocked them now. |
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We have had some experience of men going round about ways to try to tempt L to meet them on her own, not it would ever happen, but not the issue the op mentioned. We did meet one couple where despite our clear soft swing profile the guy showed very little interest in L but the woman was trying very hard to get me to fuck her with L present. It did create a tension we could have done without and suffice to say we never met them again.
What is clear from this thread is that there are couples who are happy for this type of arrangement so it begs the question as to why anyone had to try to around the houses and disrespect others in this way. We feel that whatever you are into there will be someone else who is into the same thing. Let’s be straightforward and open then every should be happy. |
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By *onyjoCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Strangely, this is what we seek. (Though our profile is quite specific what we seek right now).
We hope to find a couple for Mrs A to enjoy and be enjoyed, whilst Mr M plays only with Mrs A.
Once comfortable, it's possible Mrs will play without Mr.
Nobody seems keen.
This is pretty much what we’re after too!"
Same here just not having much luck finding it  |
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Yes! Recently and from a local couple.
Their profile states they won't include men and will only play with the female half of a couple alone. Ours states we won't meet alone but they still messaged asking if the female half would have a look at profile and see if it interests her.
They didn't reply when I pointed it out and told them they proper pissed me off |
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"Curious if anyone has had any experience with this?
Where the messaging from a couple is very directly asking for play excluding the male half of a couple or even worse where you've met up with them and it's become apparent they were only interested in the female half?
We tend to avoid profiles that have "no males" plastered all over them just to avoid this potential drama!
Thoughts, opinions, experiences? "
Had this the other day, asking for face pics after 1 message then when we refused they then asked to meet Mrs alone  convinced it was a single guy.
We also avoid couples that only look to meet females according to their profile and on the occasion we meet single guys we also avoid those that don’t have listed to meet couples as a preference. When we say no to these ones they always seem to back track and get around it but we find the notes section helps us here |
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Males in a couple need thick skin and plenty of self confidence!
The woman will always have one if not both halves of the couple interested in her, the male is sometimes treated as lucky to be allowed to watch!
To put a positive spin on it... As a guy in a couple it's lovely and extra special when the other couple make that extra effort to make YOU feel wanted and not just your Mrs.... We seek people who think like that.
Swinging can be very liberating and confidence building... But as the male half of a couple it can also drain self confidence, as many profiles read like you aren't really desirable or even tolerated. Sure you can meet great people who make you feel amazing, but you have to read through lots of profiles which exclude you by gender. |
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We have had this on many occasions and sometimes after speaking for a while just plain disrespectful!
The classic if female meets us for mff then we will do it in return is another one and they really don't like it when you reply with the suggestion it be the other way round lol. |
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"Males in a couple need thick skin and plenty of self confidence!
The woman will always have one if not both halves of the couple interested in her, the male is sometimes treated as lucky to be allowed to watch!
To put a positive spin on it... As a guy in a couple it's lovely and extra special when the other couple make that extra effort to make YOU feel wanted and not just your Mrs.... We seek people who think like that.
Swinging can be very liberating and confidence building... But as the male half of a couple it can also drain self confidence, as many profiles read like you aren't really desirable or even tolerated. Sure you can meet great people who make you feel amazing, but you have to read through lots of profiles which exclude you by gender."
Totally agree with the sentiment of this completely and its also our ideal to try and find people who make everyone feel included (it's just that 4 way click is hard to find!)
I think the real issues begin though when you're playing two completely different games, you and your partner are trying to accommodate the group as a 4 and they're simply tolerating you while putting on a show to try and get into your missus's knickers, then sideline when the "fun" starts.
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"We probably have this offered to us every week from couples and is the main reason why we don't meet couples, singles only for us."
We do meet couples (though rarely from these sites, most we have already met and “clicked” with at a party) but it is far harder to find that 4way attraction (even as a straight guy MrB needs to think the other guy is attractive/good chap) than it is a 3way attraction.
For that reason threesomes (both MFM & FFM) are far easier to sort. |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Just to put another spin on things (not excusing this behaviour in couples) but there are a lot of couples where the female is a lot hotter than the male (before anyone says it, yes I Mr agree MrsB is hotter than me). So in some cases the other couple really are not attracted to the male but are very attracted to the female.
However, that just isn’t on and is plain rude. If we find ourselves only attracted to one person in the couple then we wouldn’t contact/meet them as we respect they come as a package. |
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"Just to put another spin on things (not excusing this behaviour in couples) but there are a lot of couples where the female is a lot hotter than the male (before anyone says it, yes I Mr agree MrsB is hotter than me). So in some cases the other couple really are not attracted to the male but are very attracted to the female.
However, that just isn’t on and is plain rude. If we find ourselves only attracted to one person in the couple then we wouldn’t contact/meet them as we respect they come as a package."
Oh no totally see this point as well, I would definitely say miss is hotter than I am as well (by a considerable margin!) but the point of my initial post was if you've clearly said you only play as a pair that it's pretty scummy to not simply walk if you don't fancy the other half of the couple instead of taking it to play and making them feel left out! |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
"Just to put another spin on things (not excusing this behaviour in couples) but there are a lot of couples where the female is a lot hotter than the male (before anyone says it, yes I Mr agree MrsB is hotter than me). So in some cases the other couple really are not attracted to the male but are very attracted to the female.
However, that just isn’t on and is plain rude. If we find ourselves only attracted to one person in the couple then we wouldn’t contact/meet them as we respect they come as a package.
Oh no totally see this point as well, I would definitely say miss is hotter than I am as well (by a considerable margin!) but the point of my initial post was if you've clearly said you only play as a pair that it's pretty scummy to not simply walk if you don't fancy the other half of the couple instead of taking it to play and making them feel left out! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People just need to respect peoples wants and needs. If a couple are clearly stating that they are looking to meet and play as a couple only and the other couple know damn well they are only looking for a female...why bother? Regardless of if someone is hot or not, not everyone is meant for you. Just move on and find someone who meets your needs. No harm in asking obviously, but the hiding the intentions thing and then trying to force that in person is basically non consensual |
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Yep, we've got to the meet, they said, her can play with fem, he could play with me and his fem. My fella could only play with me, not her. We promplty got up and left. We went as a couple, we play as a couple. Not a unicorn and watcher.
Thats why we're only looking for single men & tvs. We play with couples at clubs, so if I'm only required, we can move on to find what we're looking for. |
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By *inxy300Woman
over a year ago
nottinghamshire |
When I played as a couple and it was our very first meet, we walked in only to find the guy saying the Mrs has had too much to drink and fell asleep in bed?? He said ill try and wake her WTF as if I'd want to play with someone who is half asleep and half cut, that's even if she was there. He came back saying she was fast asleep He did expect us to stay and and play...we legged it |
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"Males in a couple need thick skin and plenty of self confidence!
The woman will always have one if not both halves of the couple interested in her, the male is sometimes treated as lucky to be allowed to watch!
To put a positive spin on it... As a guy in a couple it's lovely and extra special when the other couple make that extra effort to make YOU feel wanted and not just your Mrs.... We seek people who think like that.
Swinging can be very liberating and confidence building... But as the male half of a couple it can also drain self confidence, as many profiles read like you aren't really desirable or even tolerated. Sure you can meet great people who make you feel amazing, but you have to read through lots of profiles which exclude you by gender."
This post hits the nail on the head for us. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"What we don’t understand is why couples have a couples profile if only one of them plays  just get a single profile surely! "
Er.,, depends upon the way they're set up. They consider themselves a couple and the swinging is for them both regardless if one is playing, present or not, they're very much in it together. Now if one has zero interest in swinging nd let's the other just get on with it then yes I see your point, however there's lots of different variants as to why some others would prefer to have a couples profile. |
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"Strangely, this is what we seek. (Though our profile is quite specific what we seek right now).
We hope to find a couple for Mrs A to enjoy and be enjoyed, whilst Mr M plays only with Mrs A.
Once comfortable, it's possible Mrs will play without Mr.
Nobody seems keen.
This is pretty much what we’re after too!"
Hi, so I’m gonna shot my shot here xx we are a couple that plays like that.
guy may play with his own female partner but me and myOther half play said female. I don’t play with other men but always happy for the male parter to obviously play with his lady xxx but to find this is extremely rare, so we always state our dynamic so no one feels duped, we wouldn’t like it done to us so would never do it to anyone else xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah weve had that a few times being asked if bebop would meet alone, we also had a couple that wanted to meet but it started to be apparent he wanted me rocksteady to fuck his mrs first while him and bebop just watched which isnt what were looking for |
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We have messages from couples always state in the first message our dynamic just in case they haven’t read the profile, same as when we go to a club I bring it up very early in convo so couples don’t waste there time xx |
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I think the being asked part is a non issue for us (and would actuslly be preferable) as long as it was before we'd planned to go out as we can simply say no and be done with it.
The issue is when you've planned child minders and spent the night looking forward to it to have it dropped on you or even worse had the whole night go well only to get sidelined/ignored when everyone is getting frisky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apart from the crappy covid situation this is the main reason my wife has gone off the whole swing thing!
I'm so glad you have highlighted it OP. Hopefully it will give food for thought to those couples out there with hidden agendas.
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By *ohnj21Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed."
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this |
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"What we don’t understand is why couples have a couples profile if only one of them plays just get a single profile surely!
Er.,, depends upon the way they're set up. They consider themselves a couple and the swinging is for them both regardless if one is playing, present or not, they're very much in it together. Now if one has zero interest in swinging nd let's the other just get on with it then yes I see your point, however there's lots of different variants as to why some others would prefer to have a couples profile."
Absolutely agree but it does help if that is stated on a profile rather than saying so after quite a few messages |
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"Apart from the crappy covid situation this is the main reason my wife has gone off the whole swing thing!
I'm so glad you have highlighted it OP. Hopefully it will give food for thought to those couples out there with hidden agendas.
"
Sorry to hear that and emphasise completely with your situation! |
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By *ohnj21Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed.
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this"
Anyone else had this scenairo |
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"Many, many times. Or in a club I will only be approached when hubby goes to the bar etc and they will only talk to me and ignore him. Some have gone as far as to try and get between us and have their back to him like he doesn't exist. They are made aware that this isn't acceptable
We often have this same experience x"
it seems to happen alot but dont understand it your both hot  |
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By *ohnj21Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed.
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this
Anyone else had this scenairo "
? |
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It gets worse, as a bdsm couple, there are strict protocols to observe and one is when a scene is being played out in a club, you do not interrupt. I remember going to the bar and 3 women approached my sub ( tied up ) and started asking her if she is ok blah blah blah.. clearly my sub was not in any distress, danger kneeling there quietly on her knees with her forehead on the floor not wishing to have a sub space interrupted, but no the women had to impose their selves..now when we scene I make the audience know what's going to take place and tell them all not to interfere.
Adam |
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"Curious if anyone has had any experience with this?
Where the messaging from a couple is very directly asking for play excluding the male half of a couple or even worse where you've met up with them and it's become apparent they were only interested in the female half?
We tend to avoid profiles that have "no males" plastered all over them just to avoid this potential drama!
Thoughts, opinions, experiences? "
You look like a very friendly couple. It must be rather comfortable for you both when this happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It gets worse, as a bdsm couple, there are strict protocols to observe and one is when a scene is being played out in a club, you do not interrupt. I remember going to the bar and 3 women approached my sub ( tied up ) and started asking her if she is ok blah blah blah.. clearly my sub was not in any distress, danger kneeling there quietly on her knees with her forehead on the floor not wishing to have a sub space interrupted, but no the women had to impose their selves..now when we scene I make the audience know what's going to take place and tell them all not to interfere.
Adam"
This has happened to us several times. Totally disrupts her sub space and spoils the atmosphere.
We've got into sensory deprivation play so her being blindfolded with earbuds in playing music or white noise blocks out the interruptions to a certain extent.  |
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By *ohnj21Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed.
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this
Anyone else had this scenairo
? "
Anyone had this scenairo or like it |
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We do find that a lot when not all four fancy each other , we tend to have more threesomes ,with either mfm and sometimes fmf when at club ,group fun at parties ,wife will play solo with f/buddy or alone at club with guys or girls , I will play alone with females or couples ,if wife playing solo , we do find it hard finding couples we all clic with , think we would play more often outside of club if we did ,we prefer to play together as both like watching each other ,but in swinging it don’t always go that way |
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"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed.
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this
Anyone else had this scenairo
?
Anyone had this scenairo or like it"
the fact you've asked it 4 times and no-one has replied kinda gives your your answer |
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By *ohnj21Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"This is all about honesty and communication, if you only want to play with the female be up front about that, if you are turned down don’t get shitty about it.
Always assume that a couple play as a couple unless they say otherwise, certainly don’t invite them along under false pretences.
As far as men ignoring the male half of a couple goes there seems to be this idea that a woman on a swinger site is promiscuous and fair game, that’s not really on. For us, due to our dynamic, there may be a chance she will play on her own but don’t expect it, and definitely don’t push it if you are rebuffed.
Well I'm single had it tge other way couple wanted to meet for 3 some.
But really male wanted bi male.
We meet and was told it was her fantasy to see hubby with a man.
So I thought in 3 some try it to turn her on so hand job blow job. It dud turn on and she fucked. Oth of us. But after that mLs kept texting for just ne, and him.
I dud enjoy 3 some and I will only play with male in this scenairo.
She did get turned watching us both is that wrong.
Any other couples done this
Anyone else had this scenairo
?
Anyone had this scenairo or like itthe fact you've asked it 4 times and no-one has replied kinda gives your your answer"
Thanks for feedback
Nice profile |
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when we in our local club mrs is always standing at the bar chatting away i usually have a look about mixing in , a few times ive come back and a lads chatting her up and a lot of times even when ive pecked her and stood chatting had there backs turned onto me , even went for a smoke come back same thing, no way will they get anywhere with the mrs if wont even speak to the other half, when speaking to cpls i always use eye contact to both , only manners. |
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By *oAnCouple
over a year ago
Streatham |
Happened many times, usually want to play in separate rooms then the female doesn't want to play and just chats! A few times have been told that only interested in the female which is why we seldom play as a couple anymore! |
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"Many, many times. Or in a club I will only be approached when hubby goes to the bar etc and they will only talk to me and ignore him. Some have gone as far as to try and get between us and have their back to him like he doesn't exist. They are made aware that this isn't acceptable "
That's unbelievably rude |
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We've been very lucky and not experienced this. We really like foursomes (and recently more somes!). 3somes of either sort are for another day.
We're very clear on our profile what we're looking for. No separate room, everyone up close and involved. We don't think of it as swapping but group sex.
Also important for us, girl centred.. They have to be properly into girls, not just putting on a show for hubby. If the girls are having a lovely time together then both boys will get spoilt rotten ??
Seperate messaging is a complete no no. Strictly group messaging only.
The other thing that's very important for us is that we have a 4 way connection (really difficult to find I know) and that it's clearly apparent that the other couple are really in to each other and therefore no threat to our relationship. You can tell.
Find that, and you really shouldn't have any trouble. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for finding it? Or we've just been lucky. Fingers crossed it's the former.
Mr E |
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We've been very lucky and not experienced this. We really like foursomes (and recently more somes!). 3somes of either sort are for another day.
We're very clear on our profile what we're looking for. No separate room, everyone up close and involved. We don't think of it as swapping but group sex.
Also important for us, girl centred.. They have to be properly into girls, not just putting on a show for hubby. If the girls are having a lovely time together then both boys will get spoilt rotten ??
Seperate messaging is a complete no no. Strictly group messaging only.
The other thing that's very important for us is that we have a 4 way connection (really difficult to find I know) and that it's clearly apparent that the other couple are really in to each other and therefore no threat to our relationship. You can tell and it is the key to unlocking a more 'anything goes' attitude to play.
Find that, and you really shouldn't have any trouble. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for spotting the right couples? Or we've just been lucky? Fingers crossed it's the former.
Mr E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Strange how people behave. I was at a semi organised dogging meet recently where a couple invited another couple along, straight female, to share the fun. The straight female spent more time between the thighs of the bi lady than she did with the boys lmao... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've been very lucky and not experienced this. We really like foursomes (and recently more somes!). 3somes of either sort are for another day.
We're very clear on our profile what we're looking for. No separate room, everyone up close and involved. We don't think of it as swapping but group sex.
Also important for us, girl centred.. They have to be properly into girls, not just putting on a show for hubby. If the girls are having a lovely time together then both boys will get spoilt rotten ??
Seperate messaging is a complete no no. Strictly group messaging only.
The other thing that's very important for us is that we have a 4 way connection (really difficult to find I know) and that it's clearly apparent that the other couple are really in to each other and therefore no threat to our relationship. You can tell and it is the key to unlocking a more 'anything goes' attitude to play.
Find that, and you really shouldn't have any trouble. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for spotting the right couples? Or we've just been lucky? Fingers crossed it's the former.
Mr E "
You can say that again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah we get messages like this
Had a message the other day to say that I was out of hubby's league and what was I doing with him from someone who had never met us. Was a delete and block straight away.
The reality for us is although I chat the most with other people if Mr is not happy with it, they'll never get to meet us
|
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Sadly a former partner tried to do this a number of times after we’d met couples. So underhand and made me and the couples involved feel very uncomfortable. On one occasion he even posted on social media trying to track a lady down on Facebook so we (he) could try & message her without her other half knowing. Now you know why he’s a former partner. Lol |
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Had it happen a few times and also the ones where the male half promises he's more than happy with just fem on fem and then starts issuring orders/directing the fems and even had one male tell mrs4 what exactly she was going to do and how and for how long ..and that went down like a lead balloon ! and couples can be far worse to deal with than the single males we've found anyway ...the bit we say...we are a couple...we only meet as a couple seems to get lost in translation .. |
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"We've been very lucky and not experienced this..
.. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for spotting the right couples? Or we've just been lucky? Fingers crossed it's the former. "
Just another thought. We've only ever met and played in a club once. And it was Secrets so no walk ins off the street. Generally all nice people. All the rest have been through here, messaging, getting a feel for them first, then going for a drink, then a play date. I wonder if that's a crucial difference to your chances of meeting a disrespectful couple?
I blood hope not, we're just about to change tack and try more organised socials, clubs and parties over meets. |
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" Had it happen a few times and also the ones where the male half promises he's more than happy with just fem on fem and then starts issuring orders/directing the fems and even had one male tell mrs4 what exactly she was going to do and how and for how long ..and that went down like a lead balloon ! and couples can be far worse to deal with than the single males we've found anyway ...the bit we say...we are a couple...we only meet as a couple seems to get lost in translation .."
Side note, are those public pics from saltram and mount edgecumbe? |
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"We've been very lucky and not experienced this..
.. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for spotting the right couples? Or we've just been lucky? Fingers crossed it's the former.
Just another thought. We've only ever met and played in a club once. And it was Secrets so no walk ins off the street. Generally all nice people. All the rest have been through here, messaging, getting a feel for them first, then going for a drink, then a play date. I wonder if that's a crucial difference to your chances of meeting a disrespectful couple?
I blood hope not, we're just about to change tack and try more organised socials, clubs and parties over meets. "
The more we read from you pair the more we're beginning to think we should meet up for a drink at some point! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been getting quite a bit of this happen but in all fairness I think i (louise) seem to put people of with my appearance and being a tgirl and feel as if I ruin it for tammy. |
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We would love to meet another couple to play with but it’s always we’re all chatting ,then it’s ,”does the female meet alone” and that’s not what we want , if we want a single meet we would just message single male. we have tried many times to arrange meets with a unicorn but sadly no joy but another couple would be so much fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has happened to us and wasn't a nice experience * also happened where another couple were only interested I the male half of us. We have learnt the hard way & now know the signs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've been very lucky and not experienced this. We really like foursomes (and recently more somes!). 3somes of either sort are for another day.
We're very clear on our profile what we're looking for. No separate room, everyone up close and involved. We don't think of it as swapping but group sex.
Also important for us, girl centred.. They have to be properly into girls, not just putting on a show for hubby. If the girls are having a lovely time together then both boys will get spoilt rotten ??
Seperate messaging is a complete no no. Strictly group messaging only.
The other thing that's very important for us is that we have a 4 way connection (really difficult to find I know) and that it's clearly apparent that the other couple are really in to each other and therefore no threat to our relationship. You can tell.
Find that, and you really shouldn't have any trouble. Maybe because we're so clear about what we're looking for we've developed an eye for finding it? Or we've just been lucky. Fingers crossed it's the former.
Mr E "
This is us x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get a lot of messages from the male halves of couples profiles, usually stating 'no single men' on their bio. Makes me wonder if most of these 'couples' are just men pretending that their female partners are involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had this recently. A couple of chancers tried to catnap The Pussycat. Grrr cheeky sods! They'd have left poor old Dogz tied to a lampost outside given half a chance! |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Always messages are to both members of a couple but have had the odd attempt by people we don’t know. we have been known to borrow a friends partner be them male or female for the odd threesome but it is always with the other partners agreement. |
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While we have had the messages chancing their arm we have been extremely lucky with the couples we have met, all have been lovely and we like to think that attention has been equally shared between us all. We would never message a couple that specifically say they only play as a couple and ask for one or the other, it is extremely disrespectful. Our profile says that we look for a few different dynamics but would never push someone else’s interests.
Lily |
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Yes we’ve had this a few times! In clubs and on here too! That’s why we now have couples blocked from messaging, which is sad really! It’s so disrespectful to Mr when they do that! I guess some people just like to try their luck, and ignore you’re description. Miss Pc |
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"Always messages are to both members of a couple but have had the odd attempt by people we don’t know. we have been known to borrow a friends partner be them male or female for the odd threesome but it is always with the other partners agreement."
This is what we would love to find x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened when tried cpls before wife took ill, to be blunt its all about honesty and getting 2 couples to feel the same is difficult, 3s are fare more easier regards all feeling happy sexually.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we think its off putting when a cple blatently only want to engage with one person of the cple,if it states you play single then we guess thats ok,we have a cple now that does it to us and a few of our friends and we all discuss how rude it is |
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