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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do you choose swing over poly? Or don't you?
Are you open to both? Are you somewhere in between?
What are you "rules" you live by?
It seem that there is no clear line between Swinging and Polyamory, like sexuality it's a spectrum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well of course a lot of people dont,.. many people will start off as swingers, but after a while they find that they are happy to met up with a set number of `swinging` friends, so I guess they then become Polyamory.
I think that most people would choose to stay as swingers because they find the idea of a new person to make love with is exciting, where as the same people in their lives wouldnt satisfy their needs.
I dont think you can be in between, you are either happy with a set group of people or you look for new people,..so I do think there is a clear line between the two
Stuart and Allison |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow I totally disagree you cant be in the middle between wanting multiple "just sex" and wanting loving relationships, possibly as a unit like a triad or quad.
As with sexuality, i think many people will fall in the middle ground. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did say that you CANT be in between, so I am agreeing with you, you are either happy with a certain group of people, or you have the need to meet many more
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing we enjoy about swinging, is the fact that you dont have to build a long lasting friendship with people, now im having problems putting into text what i mean here, so please bear with me
the fun for us, is unemotional attachment in the sex, there is no doubt of fear regards jealousy in the way we play, BUT if we were to have a number of regulars and no one else, in our mind, it becomes a relationship one that could breed problems jealousy, being just one of them.
i know this reads different to how i mean it, so please dont jump on me )lol ok, go on them)
swinging to us, is great sexy fun without problems and any emotion other than at the time we play, polyamory to us, is another relationship that requires a lot more emotional attachment
oh crap, i give up now, im too thick to put in words what i think lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a few single guys who are very good friends of mine,one guy who i have been meeting with for over 8months.
We know the score on our boundries and it works very well. Its by no means emotional attachment in anyway, or a relationship.
We chat as friends on msn and when the 'need' arrises we agree for a meet, its never been a problem with me or my male friends.
We know how to distance ourselves from each other and also with our hectic personal life it works really well, as we all have needs
And always have sexy fun!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks guys, it's very interesting to read your perspectives, when I read about he lack of emotional connection you want I think "why?" bit that's just the difference between us.
It confirms to be the it's good to get a detailed idea of what each party are looking for before things get going as I'm sure you would think I was way too involved and I would feel strange about the emotional distance. Very interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahhh see, i knew it read worse than i meant lol
what we mean by the emotion is not that we dont want friends, or there to be no emotion, rather that we dont want to feel obligated to have to play with anyone at any time.
ill try and explain what i mean
a couple has 2 friends that they only swing with, when they see them, or meet them, they are already under assumption, that they will play, and be played with by both sides.
when you meet new people, your under no such assumption, and there is a buzz of the chase so to speak.and your likes and desires can change based on mood.
damn it, still doesnt makes the sense it does in my head lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This may be a bit off topic, I'm not sure, but I have found that most people on here aren't looking for one-off's and will say so on their profile.
Now I'm not generally all that bothered myself, as someone stated earlier here I quite like meeting new people, if I like someone though I will meet them again. New people are like a new car (not trying to be rude in any way at all), every one is different and I enjoy finding out their differences as to what they like and dislike and how their bodies react to different things, just like you get to know a new car!
Many people see guys who have one-offs, or certainly if they aren't looking to make friends and have regular meets, as people who are just looking for notches on their bed posts. Which I think is an unfair accusation..
To add to this I had an experience with a lady who I met more than once. A little bit later on in our time knowing eachother she got annoyed that at wasn't so keen to meet again at that particular time. I don't think it should have been lke this. I was just looking for new experiences and fun times ahead, and instead I was made to feel like I had done something wrong and she didn't speak to me much after that.
To conclude, I guess I am trying to say it can be difficult to have friendships with people you play with if your idea of the relationship is different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same as Jo,I too have a lover/girlfriend and also my long term partner Ric.No jealousy,and we all swing.Also at the moment we aren't meeting anyone new but still meet good swing friends we've known for ages.
Trace
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By *yclopMan
over a year ago
belfast |
Of course you can be both.
You can love your friends, Polyamory has always recognised gradations of Primary, Secondary and even Terciary Partners.
You can love your friends and still occasionally indulge yourself with the added thrill of meeting someone new. Go out on the pull (on line or elsewhere) and gleefully tell all afterwards.Not a thing wrong with being both, so long as you all talk about and enjoy eachother's philandering just as much as your own.
Afterall, how else do you increase the membership of your ployamorous family?
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In our opinion polyamory = love, and swinging = sex.
We have friends who are truly polyamorous. They were originally a long-established young lesbian couple who both fell in love with another woman and they all now live (and love) together. They are quite frank about their sexuality, and occasionally have sex all together, and at other times in pairs. They seem very happy.
We swing because we like having sex with other people. We don't see why we should just have sex with eachother for the rest of our lives; after both having promiscuous early sex experiences, we went through long married monogomy, eventually leading to hidden affairs and one-night-stands which caused the breakup of both our marriages.
When we met eachother we were honest enough to say we both enjoy varied sex, so started swinging. We love eachother and don't need a third in the relationship, but we do both need other sexual partners. Some of these are good friends now, but the attraction is sex and friendship, not love.
Geoff & Rose X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a regular group.. hardly call them lovers or anything but we do see a few same people time and time again but still seek new too.. Greedy?? Maybe, fun?? Defo lol... Do they all know?? Yes..
Worked ok so far... |
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Probably time someone else commented..