FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Is it me or are meets becoming more of a challenge (esp. when U can't accommodate)
Is it me or are meets becoming more of a challenge (esp. when U can't accommodate)
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Been on here a few years and I'm n the beginning I thought it was a great site. I guess I am older so less desirable to many but that aside it feels like there are fewer people actually meeting from here. I seldom share face pics cause I find some people are voyeuristic and collectors only. It's such a shame when you are really just looking for a safe and horny meet.
Thoughts ?
Options ?
Suggestions ?
(Pls don't make nasty or sarcastic remarks as this is a genuine post) |
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I've been on the scene for 9 years. In that time things have definitely changed. Safety has become more important to many post covid with the changes in the scene that created. Also the mix of people has changed.
That being said, the socials and parties seem as busy as ever (if not busier).
I think people are just changing how they swing. It's not a good or bad thing, just different.
Might be worth going to some events and seeing who you meet that way.
Happy swinging x |
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We did change the way we meet as a consequence of there being a considerable amount of time wasters on fab. For us now going to a party or a club is the better option that trying to arrange a meet through fab.
Excuse the pun but you get a better feel for the person / couple in person than you do from messaging online.
OP you should maybe consider one of the social nights or even a club night.
Just a thought.
F xx |
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"Been on here a few years and I'm n the beginning I thought it was a great site. I guess I am older so less desirable to many but that aside it feels like there are fewer people actually meeting from here. I seldom share face pics cause I find some people are voyeuristic and collectors only. It's such a shame when you are really just looking for a safe and horny meet.
Thoughts ?
Options ?
Suggestions ?
(Pls don't make nasty or sarcastic remarks as this is a genuine post)"
I've seen a fair few people saying lately that a dick pic as a profile pic puts them off (possibly a factor in your case, though obviously not a guarantee) and that not being able to accommodate can imply playing away or cheating, so some people avoid it on principle. |
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Second that the dick profile pic is a put off. Arranging meets through fab can be exhausting. I had a message this morning that said “you sound like a cunt and I like that.” He’s likely wondering why he got blocked when he was only trying to be nice. The ones who clearly haven’t read your profile and message when you’re clearly not compatible (ie neither of you can accom). Even the club scene seems to have been taken over by the couples and single fems unless you go on a greedy girl night. |
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"So thanks all for the feedback.
I'll change the pic when I have another one to use.
I have also padded out my profile with more info.
Welcome any feedback"
Your opening two sentences about how you're finding the site lame and that you got feedback saying your profile was lame (which nobody actually said) is likely to put people off right away with the in-your-face negativity. Would you want to connect with someone on a site who thought the site wasn't worth using? |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"Been on here a few years and I'm n the beginning I thought it was a great site. I guess I am older so less desirable to many but that aside it feels like there are fewer people actually meeting from here. I seldom share face pics cause I find some people are voyeuristic and collectors only. It's such a shame when you are really just looking for a safe and horny meet.
Thoughts ?
Options ?
Suggestions ?
(Pls don't make nasty or sarcastic remarks as this is a genuine post)"
My view and not intended to be nasty or sarcastic comment but sometimes if it's not conveyed the way intended then nothing I can do about that.
I've been on the site a long time and suppose what you would call an experienced swinger.
I don't think there's less people meeting, infact I'd say more, as there's more of a difference than a few years back to even 10 years back, there's thousands and thousands of more men on the site than before so the options are limitless, especially for women. We are on the site where many woman and couples who are looking for a man thinks the next profile is better so as stated before, its like a chipped firestick, you want to watch a tv series or film and your scroll through but there's that many all they do all night is keep scrolling through and don't pick anything, so you have to stand out and be interesting. (not saying you don't, just saying in general for us all).
So you have to give yourself a helping hand, good profile - (deffo don't use mines for inspiration), good pictures, good bio, going to clubs and big socials and get yourself invited to house parties etc...
One thing I will say which I never understand, why have a cock picture on your profile, straight away more than 50% of women who might be interested in you switch off due to the cock pictures. I'm sure if they will want to see it I'm sure they will ask. I make it clear I never have or send cock pics and I'm very happy with mines and wouldn't change it for the world.
Most of what I've said is very similar to above from others so hopefully some or everyone's advice will help.
Just enjoy and hopefully you'll start meeting or meeting more than you do.
All the best
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"I've been on the scene for 9 years. In that time things have definitely changed. Safety has become more important to many post covid with the changes in the scene that created. Also the mix of people has changed.
That being said, the socials and parties seem as busy as ever (if not busier).
I think people are just changing how they swing. It's not a good or bad thing, just different.
Might be worth going to some events and seeing who you meet that way.
Happy swinging x "
Yeah social are good way to meet people, I met a lovely flame haired temptress, but never got a chance to talk to her properly.
And to make me even sadder I'm out of her age range.
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"Thanks for the advice and opinions all.
I am playing away as one poster said but then I guess half of the guys are on here.
Where do U see the arranged parties "
Most likely the playing away that is your downfall. Most single women don't need the added hassle of working around when you can make time/or last minute cancellations because your wife needs you to do xyz!
A lot of couples also won't meet guys who are cheating as it goes against the ENM way they swing.
Married and playing away and over 50 you have to face the fact you are probably at the bottom of the food chain on here |
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By *allBBWWoman 18 weeks ago
North Ayrshire |
Going off the meet you have posted - I don't know a lot of people who'd think 'Oh, that complete stranger is going to be in my area in a few hours (probably when they're cooking dinner!), I'm going to invite him round to play!' Maybe some people are into that, but it's not something I'd ever entertain - for safety reasons at the very least. |
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Anyone with a cock a profile picture is immediately dismissed.
Like, I know it’s the only thing about you that you think is interesting but don’t non consensually shove it in my face, thanks, especially if it’s not a good one. |
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"Anyone with a cock a profile picture is immediately dismissed.
Like, I know it’s the only thing about you that you think is interesting but don’t non consensually shove it in my face, thanks, especially if it’s not a good one."
Wow harsh....so my profile pic choice is bad ...and my cock ain't a good one !
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"Anyone with a cock a profile picture is immediately dismissed.
Like, I know it’s the only thing about you that you think is interesting but don’t non consensually shove it in my face, thanks, especially if it’s not a good one.
Wow harsh....so my profile pic choice is bad ...and my cock ain't a good one !
Thanks "
Your obviously ignoring what seasoned swingers are telling you even if your experienced yourself. If you have a cock pic on your profile, especially your avatar then you straight away are missing out on well over 50% of women who could have had you in their interest.
Personally I’d say it was in the 70% region, they just block or bin and you would not have a clue. So as I said, from a male who is well endowed and doesn’t need to put a cock pic or ever send one, why have it on?
Your asking for advice and your getting it |
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1st of all your not really swinging your cheating
big difference
A lot of woman can’t accommodate for many reasons, partner at home or kids cause yes it’s 2024 but the majority of single mums have primary custody of their kids so they are at home
Dick pic & no pics - generally i/we ignore, can surely be more creative than that |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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Reading all the replies on here, I’m really struggling to what I’m doing wrong then ?? as I’ve taken all the advice since I started and changed the profile basis and context a lot! |
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"Second that the dick profile pic is a put off. Arranging meets through fab can be exhausting. I had a message this morning that said “you sound like a cunt and I like that.” He’s likely wondering why he got blocked when he was only trying to be nice. The ones who clearly haven’t read your profile and message when you’re clearly not compatible (ie neither of you can accom). Even the club scene seems to have been taken over by the couples and single fems unless you go on a greedy girl night. "
Pure poetry  |
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Things I’ve learned….
Dont expect anything to happen quickly.
Sheer volume of messages you’re “competing against” means it’s really your luck if your message gets read. The ladies have allot more to choice from than you and also dealing with a tonne of drivel from the knuckle daggers.
It’s pissing into the wind as a single dude on here really unless your into the social scene going to clubs at getting know folk. So I’m told, yet to do that side myself.
Good luck amigo
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"Reading all the replies on here, I’m really struggling to what I’m doing wrong then ?? as I’ve taken all the advice since I started and changed the profile basis and context a lot!"
i looked nothing wrong
you’ve only been on the site 2 weeks & can’t accom so will reduce options |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"Reading all the replies on here, I’m really struggling to what I’m doing wrong then ?? as I’ve taken all the advice since I started and changed the profile basis and context a lot!"
I change my profile bio quite a few times, suppose out of boredom. The biggest selling point is going to clubs, going to big socials and house parties, get yourself seen.
Everyone of us are different, looks, chat, our view and some people will be interested in you. some wont . Just got to stay positive, and if it’s not happening, check other guys profiles and think why are they meeting what do they gave that I have except I’m not getting me out there
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"Reading all the replies on here, I’m really struggling to what I’m doing wrong then ?? as I’ve taken all the advice since I started and changed the profile basis and context a lot!
i looked nothing wrong
you’ve only been on the site 2 weeks & can’t accom so will reduce options "
Yeah the accommodation side I know is a big factor - at the moment until the shared house is sold that’s not going to change sadly. |
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By (user no longer on site) 18 weeks ago
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"Reading all the replies on here, I’m really struggling to what I’m doing wrong then ?? as I’ve taken all the advice since I started and changed the profile basis and context a lot!
I change my profile bio quite a few times, suppose out of boredom. The biggest selling point is going to clubs, going to big socials and house parties, get yourself seen.
Everyone of us are different, looks, chat, our view and some people will be interested in you. some wont . Just got to stay positive, and if it’s not happening, check other guys profiles and think why are they meeting what do they gave that I have except I’m not getting me out there
"
Appreciate the feedback, and everyone else who has offered guidance ?? |
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It’s definitely got harder to meet people in our opinion but it might be we’re older so harder to tell. With regards to cock pics on profiles we don’t care one way or other but we’re not clutching our pearls and get offended as there are all sorts of body parts. Sending unsolicited pics of your cock is different.
If you are a vwe guy then having a cock pic on your profile will no doubt attract a section of Fab who are looking for that. |
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