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Ola senoritas!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Come and get me ladies, Carlos is waiting.

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By *sm265Woman  over a year ago

Shangri-la

Think I'll pass...its chilly out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sorry I'm staying at home today

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman  over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Aww man, I’d love to. You sound like an utter sex god. But I come under the chubbie category.

I’m so gutted!

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"Aww man, I’d love to. You sound like an utter sex god. But I come under the chubbie category.

I’m so gutted! "

That's a shame..

Could ya not 'Suck a Solero" instead

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman  over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Aww man, I’d love to. You sound like an utter sex god. But I come under the chubbie category.

I’m so gutted!

That's a shame..

Could ya not 'Suck a Solero" instead "

Oooo I’d take a nuii

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

at your profile...omg brutal

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock

Single file plz

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By *ingleInEdinburghMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh

Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge".

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal "

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok...

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By *4Fun11Woman  over a year ago

Glasgow

Oh haud me back

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok..."

lol must be for a wind up

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By *rslikesitCouple  over a year ago

Dunfermline

I used to pay to see comedians, rubbish profile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok... lol must be for a wind up "

He's full of himself

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge"."

I know, I couldn't find the wave emoji, I'm waving at the ladies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok... lol must be for a wind up "

Wouldn't you like to find out?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok... lol must be for a wind up

Wouldn't you like to find out? "

no really I'm a chubby lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Single file plz "

Come on now duffer, don't be jealous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal "

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me.

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


"Single file plz

Come on now duffer, don't be jealous. "

Am not How can I compete with you

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman  over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Single file plz

Come on now duffer, don't be jealous. Am not How can I compete with you "

Couldnae compete with a slug

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me."

yer profile pic is getting me off

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


"Single file plz

Come on now duffer, don't be jealous. Am not How can I compete with you

Couldnae compete with a slug "

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off "

He's a shadow of himself

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself "

true . He could have sexy pins like yersel

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I used to pay to see comedians, rubbish profile"

I thought I was talking to Shirley Carter for a second there.

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel "

No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel "

If I put my real picture up there will be a stampede and I don't need the hassle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok... lol must be for a wind up

Wouldn't you like to find out? no really I'm a chubby lol"

Ok so you're out.

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge"."

Aww ffs..

Ya mean he's no Spanish?

Women are gonna be ragin.

I wish the OP had spoken too me before posting.

If he had said he was Japanese that would have made more sense..

Some women have seen more Japs Eyes than a Nissan wing mirror.

He could have them all lined up ready to be pumped like Tenko.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :- "

Actually my legs are probably my best feature.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel

If I put my real picture up there will be a stampede and I don't need the hassle. "

Show yourself!

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature."

Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman  over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"

Some women have seen more Japs Eyes than a Nissan wing mirror. "

laughed out loud at this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok... lol must be for a wind up

Wouldn't you like to find out? no really I'm a chubby lol

Ok so you're out. "

am gutted

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman  over a year ago

Lanarkshire


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide "

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos.

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos."

Haha,Don't wear them

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By *ingleInEdinburghMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge".

I know, I couldn't find the wave emoji, I'm waving at the ladies. "

Still wouldn't be right. Something like, "Un saludo, senoritas," or "Gesto de la mano, senoritas," would be correct.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

Balding and failing eyesight and is looking for a size 8 woman. Yeah ok..."

I think he says a solid 8, as in out of 10. There's not many size 8s left in the UK.

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos."

If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.."

you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system "

That made me laugh lol

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge".

I know, I couldn't find the wave emoji, I'm waving at the ladies.

Still wouldn't be right. Something like, "Un saludo, senoritas," or "Gesto de la mano, senoritas," would be correct."

What if he said...

El Cock Carlo mi entrada y peniseros Senorita pussero.

Message me if ya want yer hole.

Better chance ??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Come and get me ladies, Carlos is waiting. "

(Listens intently for the stampede....)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Also....re your profile...what kind of lady are you looking for that has a "hairy banjo"?

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By *ingleInEdinburghMan  over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Not to nit-pick, but it's "hola". "Ola" is the Spanish for "wave" or "surge".

I know, I couldn't find the wave emoji, I'm waving at the ladies.

Still wouldn't be right. Something like, "Un saludo, senoritas," or "Gesto de la mano, senoritas," would be correct.

What if he said...

El Cock Carlo mi entrada y peniseros Senorita pussero.

Message me if ya want yer hole.

Better chance ??

"

I like it. I mean, I prefer the final sentence more than the Spanish. But then I've really always prefered Ronseal's advertising to that of perfumes/aftershaves, just in your face and straight to the point.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system That made me laugh lol"

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system That made me laugh lol "

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By *ornyhappyCouple  over a year ago

perth

Damn, I'm a chubby granny who is currently quite hirsute (extra warmth for winter!). Gutted.

K

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system That made me laugh lol"

She's right you know.

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By *aseMan  over a year ago

Gourock


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system That made me laugh lol

She's right you know."

Can't remember the last time I had one

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Also....re your profile...what kind of lady are you looking for that has a "hairy banjo"?"

The musical type, and I'll tell you what, I'd play a fair tune on yours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Damn, I'm a chubby granny who is currently quite hirsute (extra warmth for winter!). Gutted.

K"

With the price of gas I'm not surprised you're trying some extra insulation, older people need to be careful, you don't want this to be your last winter

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"Also....re your profile...what kind of lady are you looking for that has a "hairy banjo"?

The musical type, and I'll tell you what, I'd play a fair tune on yours. "

Hahahahaha

In the Key of G

Honolulu Baby...won't you dance with me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" at your profile...omg brutal

I prefer honesty, it's very important to me. yer profile pic is getting me off He's a shadow of himself true . He could have sexy pins like yersel No don't think so , He will have sparrow legs :-

Actually my legs are probably my best feature. Let’s see then. And let the ladles decide

Duffer, get your stockings on to impress señor Carlos. If I remember right,Sweet cheeks has some nice lingerie Maybe get a loan of a pair.. you're needing a good wank tae get me oot yer system That made me laugh lol

She's right you know. Can't remember the last time I had one "

about two secs ago with ma new pic

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By *ah wah wizardMan  over a year ago

Kilmarnock

Carlos, you remind me of the old Irn Bru advert with "Raul".

"Yo ladies, watch Raul touch Raul!"

Better get used to touching yourself just like "Raul"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Carlos, you remind me of the old Irn Bru advert with "Raul".

"Yo ladies, watch Raul touch Raul!"

Better get used to touching yourself just like "Raul" "

brilliant advert

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Carlos, you remind me of the old Irn Bru advert with "Raul".

"Yo ladies, watch Raul touch Raul!"

Better get used to touching yourself just like "Raul" "

For a small fee it could be a possibility

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By *ah wah wizardMan  over a year ago

Kilmarnock


"Carlos, you remind me of the old Irn Bru advert with "Raul".

"Yo ladies, watch Raul touch Raul!"

Better get used to touching yourself just like "Raul"

For a small fee it could be a possibility "

Why would you charge yourself a fee?

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie


"

Some women have seen more Japs Eyes than a Nissan wing mirror.

laughed out loud at this"

Haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

King Carlos of Fabdangos..and the stream of Female Fumbling Fanny Forum Fisting Bandettes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"King Carlos of Fabdangos..and the stream of Female Fumbling Fanny Forum Fisting Bandettes

"

That's quite catchy.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later."

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

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By *ornyhappyCouple  over a year ago

perth

You seem to be struggling for any offers from the ladies Carlos, I could pop over and dress YOU in your much loved pvc, but there is a caveat;that is I would need to wire your nipples up to a car battery then feed you chuppa chips.

Anyway, you know my profile, get in touch eh. Xx M.

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By *ookie69Man  over a year ago

Whistle Dixie

Just when ya think it's all over..

Chuppa Chips Cock Carlo and the Rubber Nipple Revolving Battery Bitches.

That's a positive

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?"

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You seem to be struggling for any offers from the ladies Carlos, I could pop over and dress YOU in your much loved pvc, but there is a caveat;that is I would need to wire your nipples up to a car battery then feed you chuppa chips.

Anyway, you know my profile, get in touch eh. Xx M."

It truly is a grand offer, unfortunately Carlos will have to decline this time, but don't give up, you may catch me during a lull.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics. "

Didn't have you down as a curling fan.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan."

I curl out a fine brown one if I eat enough roughage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan."

Carlos would be treating you more like a bowling ball, Carlos would be sticking plenty of fingers in various holes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan.

Carlos would be treating you more like a bowling ball, Carlos would be sticking plenty of fingers in various holes. "

Your fingers can stay away from my holes

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan.

Carlos would be treating you more like a bowling ball, Carlos would be sticking plenty of fingers in various holes.

Your fingers can stay away from my holes "

Carlos thinks that's a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan.

Carlos would be treating you more like a bowling ball, Carlos would be sticking plenty of fingers in various holes.

Your fingers can stay away from my holes

Carlos thinks that's a good idea. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Be patient ladies, Carlos will update and take care of you all later.

Are you still brushing your chest hair?

What's keeping you?

Relax señorita, Carlos was having a wee sleep, recharging his batteries for the midnight Olympics.

Didn't have you down as a curling fan.

Carlos would be treating you more like a bowling ball, Carlos would be sticking plenty of fingers in various holes.

Your fingers can stay away from my holes

Carlos thinks that's a good idea.

"

Carlos needs his fingers to play the hairy banjo.

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