FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > The consensus...
The consensus...
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It's been a while since I've reached out to women and introduced myself in an opening message and I'm curious what the consensus here of those who have been.
I get that no reply and message deleted means they're not interested, however what does read and not replied indicate?
Is this still a, not interested.
Is it a, busy and will return to it later.
Is it, there's no way to know...
Any insight from the women will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance  |
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"I would have thought no reply was pretty obvious … ie don’t want to chat with you! "
This is fab, nothing is obvious, everyone has their rules and the way they communicate lol.
Usually, from past experience, ppl usually delete the message if they're not interested. But yes, no reply regardless of deleted or not, would mean no thanks.
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"It's been a while since I've reached out to women and introduced myself in an opening message and I'm curious what the consensus here of those who have been.
I get that no reply and message deleted means they're not interested, however what does read and not replied indicate?
Is this still a, not interested.
Is it a, busy and will return to it later.
Is it, there's no way to know...
Any insight from the women will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance "
What does it mean when you read a message and don’t reply? POVs the same for the other party. #moveon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I delete if not interested. If ive read but not replied then ill look at it again when i have the time. Sometimes normal life gets in the way and need jump off here so may reoky or delete later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me if I haven't replied I've probably been distracted off Fab and forgotten! Chasing up with a follow up 20 minutes after I've read a message is sure fire way to be blocked. I either reply (even if it's a no thanks) or I block if I'm not interested. I don't just ignore messages. |
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"I delete if not interested. If ive read but not replied then ill look at it again when i have the time. Sometimes normal life gets in the way and need jump off here so may reoky or delete later "
Thanks, this is what I was wondering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always find it courteous to at least reply saying sorry not interested. That's what I do anyway. Find it rude otherwise."
Yeah man but you have to keep in mind that couples and especially single fems can get 30-50 messages a day, no doubt even more with many being one liner fuck today efforts.
Single guy accounts, mine included, see what, 5 a day? There’s a huge difference there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's been a while since I've reached out to women and introduced myself in an opening message and I'm curious what the consensus here of those who have been.
I get that no reply and message deleted means they're not interested, however what does read and not replied indicate?
Is this still a, not interested.
Is it a, busy and will return to it later.
Is it, there's no way to know...
Any insight from the women will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance "
It's a slightly complicated answer for me.
By Fab rules
no reply means no thx
Personally I go by the
If its a normal message showing you have read the person's profile and are interested in possible chat then I'd expect a reply , even a simple "no thx " would suffice. Read and deleted I'd say your an ignorant c...
Any rude or abusive messages I'm all for instant delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I delete if not interested. If ive read but not replied then ill look at it again when i have the time. Sometimes normal life gets in the way and need jump off here so may reoky or delete later "
Spot on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always find it courteous to at least reply saying sorry not interested. That's what I do anyway. Find it rude otherwise."
It's not rude to not reply. Do you respond to all the junk mail you get at home? Is it still rude to not reply if the initial message itself is rude or disrespectful? What if its clear the person sending hasn't had the respect to read the profile before they've messaged? People aren't entitled to replies to unsolicited messages they send. |
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By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I always find it courteous to at least reply saying sorry not interested. That's what I do anyway. Find it rude otherwise.
It's not rude to not reply. Do you respond to all the junk mail you get at home? Is it still rude to not reply if the initial message itself is rude or disrespectful? What if its clear the person sending hasn't had the respect to read the profile before they've messaged? People aren't entitled to replies to unsolicited messages they send. "
^^^^ this ^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always find it courteous to at least reply saying sorry not interested. That's what I do anyway. Find it rude otherwise.
It's not rude to not reply. Do you respond to all the junk mail you get at home? Is it still rude to not reply if the initial message itself is rude or disrespectful? What if its clear the person sending hasn't had the respect to read the profile before they've messaged? People aren't entitled to replies to unsolicited messages they send. "
If someone spoke to you in the pub or anywhere for that matter would you just ignore them? I would likely say to them politely that I am not interested in speaking or conversing with them. Of course the scenario where they have been disrespectful in the first place is different. But when someone does take the time to read a profile and try to engage in conversation I do still find it rude just to be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As so many women in the forums advise guys that their profiles are like shop windows , so to are their profiles . So if a person came and asked you a respectful question about your shop window ladies you think it's OK just to ignore them . No it's plain and simple rude. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
As with everything, everyone does it differently.
I read and don't reply often, I'm a busy person. If it's been more than 24 hours I'd say cut your losses, I've probably just ignored the message. It really is an individual thing tho |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"As so many women in the forums advise guys that their profiles are like shop windows , so to are their profiles . So if a person came and asked you a respectful question about your shop window ladies you think it's OK just to ignore them . No it's plain and simple rude. "
As already discussed earlier, it's normally not the respectful ones that we ignore. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"As so many women in the forums advise guys that their profiles are like shop windows , so to are their profiles . So if a person came and asked you a respectful question about your shop window ladies you think it's OK just to ignore them . No it's plain and simple rude.
As already discussed earlier, it's normally not the respectful ones that we ignore. "
But even if it was, no one is entitled to anything on here, not my time, not my energy, not even my attention. Just because someone comes to my shop window doesn't mean that I have to serve them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone approached me in the pub and asked me something I'd engage politely.
If this was then followed by multiple people asking the same thing, my patience would undoubtedly wear thin. |
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Ok so to be clear.
Message was an introduction, including personalisation about their profile and also spoke about myself. Friendly, polite, just like you would be in person. Pics attached etc.
That aside, as most have said, you'll never know why based on volume of mails gems get, life distractions, and not being interested.
I do appreciate everyone's perspective.
Cheers all, have a good day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so to be clear.
Message was an introduction, including personalisation about their profile and also spoke about myself. Friendly, polite, just like you would be in person. Pics attached etc.
That aside, as most have said, you'll never know why based on volume of mails gems get, life distractions, and not being interested.
I do appreciate everyone's perspective.
Cheers all, have a good day "
It's the yellow skids what did it.  |
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"Ok so to be clear.
Message was an introduction, including personalisation about their profile and also spoke about myself. Friendly, polite, just like you would be in person. Pics attached etc.
That aside, as most have said, you'll never know why based on volume of mails gems get, life distractions, and not being interested.
I do appreciate everyone's perspective.
Cheers all, have a good day
It's the yellow skids what did it. "
    LMAO, aww man!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone approached me in the pub and asked me something I'd engage politely.
If this was then followed by multiple people asking the same thing, my patience would undoubtedly wear thin. "
This, in a pub you don’t get twenty plus folk asking what is basically faf messages. Also as already stated the site recognises that messages can be overwhelming in number so specifies that a non response is a no thanks.
On another note, I am sometimes too busy to delete (damn real life) also, I’ve seen complaints that just deleting is rude so it’s a no win situation in how to deal with messages.
PLUS
My profile is crystal clear yet every day I get messages, I still try to respond with a polite no thanks. That of course can lead to “why not” “can we chat” “what about a coffee”. To me it’s very very simple, IF they are interested they WILL reply… ANYTHING else isn’t questionable, it’s a not interested. |
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"As so many women in the forums advise guys that their profiles are like shop windows , so to are their profiles . So if a person came and asked you a respectful question about your shop window ladies you think it's OK just to ignore them . No it's plain and simple rude. "
You’re not automatically entitled to anyone’s response, none of us are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone approached me in the pub and asked me something I'd engage politely.
If this was then followed by multiple people asking the same thing, my patience would undoubtedly wear thin. "
Good point but if you had an advertisement board above your head describing what you were into and looking for in the pub , you got to be prepared and accept your gonna be approached and asked similar questions from multiple people. No excuse to be rude unless they've not read the board above your head.
So being in a pub is not quite like having a profile on Fab. |
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It can be any of the above for me. Sometimes we don’t have time to reply and will reply later and sometimes we don’t plan to reply. We don’t often delete messages, so in our case that’s not a good way to gauge it.
More often than not people who we don’t reply to will message again. In that case, as long as it’s not pushy or incredibly soon after the first message, we’ll reply if we’d forgotten to earlier. Sometimes we’ll reply saying thanks but no thanks but not always.
I’ve been a single woman on this site and I’d imagine it’s a very different experience to a what a single man has. Even still as a couple. We get countless messages a day from people who haven’t bothered to read our profile, who are pushy, rude or even sometimes aggressive.
Pixie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone approached me in the pub and asked me something I'd engage politely.
If this was then followed by multiple people asking the same thing, my patience would undoubtedly wear thin.
Good point but if you had an advertisement board above your head describing what you were into and looking for in the pub , you got to be prepared and accept your gonna be approached and asked similar questions from multiple people. No excuse to be rude unless they've not read the board above your head.
So being in a pub is not quite like having a profile on Fab. "
My “sign” is very clear and sorry no, even if it wasn’t it’s not an open door to be rude or entitled. Especially when a no thanks often evokes crude and rude. We shall agree to differ probably  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" We get countless messages a day from people who haven’t bothered to read our profile, who are pushy, rude or even sometimes aggressive.
Pixie "
Absolutely ignore these people and block. No issues with that. My only issue is when a respectful message is sent and gets read and deleted without even so much as a no thx or not my type. And by all means block me too after that polite response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can be any of the above for me. Sometimes we don’t have time to reply and will reply later and sometimes we don’t plan to reply. We don’t often delete messages, so in our case that’s not a good way to gauge it.
More often than not people who we don’t reply to will message again. In that case, as long as it’s not pushy or incredibly soon after the first message, we’ll reply if we’d forgotten to earlier. Sometimes we’ll reply saying thanks but no thanks but not always.
I’ve been a single woman on this site and I’d imagine it’s a very different experience to a what a single man has. Even still as a couple. We get countless messages a day from people who haven’t bothered to read our profile, who are pushy, rude or even sometimes aggressive.
Pixie "
Yep there’s no excuse for the pushy, rude or aggressive x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular. |
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I blocked as soon as I saw that comment because we clearly are not likeminded people and it saves both parties time they may otherwise waste in future. Passive aggression is also rude btw. Anyway, we’re meant to be here for fun. Happy fabbing.
Pixie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I blocked as soon as I saw that comment because we clearly are not likeminded people and it saves both parties time they may otherwise waste in future. Passive aggression is also rude btw. Anyway, we’re meant to be here for fun. Happy fabbing.
Pixie "
Haha sry pixie, my wording was not the best, should have been more clear.
When I said block me after that polite message I didn't mean literally lol.
I meant when someone sends a polite message and you politely respond with a no thx , then absolutely feel free to block the person to prevent them not messaging you in the future.
I see when I read my last post back that it did sound aggressive but I assure you it wasn't meant that way lol.  |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I've just logged back on after a few hours away, multiple messages in my inbox, some polite, some less so, but clearly none had taken the few seconds required to read my profile. Why should I take time reply to them if they won't take the time to read my profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular."
I wonder this too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular.
I wonder this too! "
Don't actually think anyone is having a nervous breakdown over this , rather extreme exaggeration, I'm sure people can navigate through life without any problems and also be able to identify rude behaviour at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular.
I wonder this too!
Don't actually think anyone is having a nervous breakdown over this , rather extreme exaggeration, I'm sure people can navigate through life without any problems and also be able to identify rude behaviour at the same time. "
Think you missed the point there… I think the point is the reactions to a “no thank you” CAN be rather extreme is all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular.
I wonder this too!
Don't actually think anyone is having a nervous breakdown over this , rather extreme exaggeration, I'm sure people can navigate through life without any problems and also be able to identify rude behaviour at the same time.
Think you missed the point there… I think the point is the reactions to a “no thank you” CAN be rather extreme is all "
Pretty sure 9 never missed the point flirt.
To quote
"I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message."
My opinion only but its comments like this that i think are totally unnecessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If its clear they aint read my profile their getting deleted without a no thanks, i owe nobody anything on here.. "
100% agree , if not read your profile why should you bother with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying isn't being rude.
Replying with "Did you not read the profile dipshit?" would be rude.
I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message. General observation btw...not meaning you in particular.
I wonder this too!
Don't actually think anyone is having a nervous breakdown over this , rather extreme exaggeration, I'm sure people can navigate through life without any problems and also be able to identify rude behaviour at the same time.
Think you missed the point there… I think the point is the reactions to a “no thank you” CAN be rather extreme is all
Pretty sure 9 never missed the point flirt.
To quote
"I wonder how some folk navigate the perils of modern life when they're verging on a nervous breakdown cause some burd on a sex site didn't reply to a message."
My opinion only but its comments like this that i think are totally unnecessary. "
I think you took it a bit too literally then … however, such is the medium of messaging. I read it differently from you.
I took it to mean that if someone’s loses it on a polite no thank you on a swinging site then how do they cope with the big real world.
Nothing more nothing less. |
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