FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > General consensus on taken men?
General consensus on taken men?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Absolute newbie on here but wanted to ask the wider platform what the general feeling is towards guys on here looking for some fun on the side?
I find myself in this category and I'm full of mixed emotions to be honest...
My missus is stunning and we have an OK sex life but I always find myself wanting to explore more kinky things and I just don't believe she would be into it...
I'd say I'm an decent looking guy that can hold a conversation but wanted to know if this is enough for someone to want to start a conversation with and see where it leads? Or would I need to be plastering dick picks and talk about how good I would be in bed etc to get any sort of feedback.. |
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"Absolute newbie on here but wanted to ask the wider platform what the general feeling is towards guys on here looking for some fun on the side?
I find myself in this catgory and I'm full of mixed emotions to be honest...
My missus is stunning and we have an OK sex life but I always find myself wanting to explore more kinky things and I just don't believe she would be into it...
I'd say I'm an decent looking guy that can hold a conversation but wanted to know if this is enough for someone to want to start a conversation with and see where it leads? Or would I need to be plastering dick picks and talk about how good I would be in bed etc to get any sort of feedback.."
Some will meet you some wont its as simple as that.
What I will say is if you have mixed emotions then don't rush into meeting until you are 100% sure about .
Take a step back and look at what your relationship is missing for you to have took a step here.
You say you think she wouldn't be into it but have you actually asked her ?
Anyway good luck   |
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"Your on the wrong site"
That's your opinion. It's not our place to judge. I, personally, am married and we're swingers so we're fully aware of what the other gets up to.
However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. There are so many reasons why someone might stray and I don't feel it's up to us to judge. Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it.
If you're on a site like Fab and you're judging people for their personal circumstances, I personally think YOU'RE on the wrong site, but that's just my opinion xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some will meet you some wont its as simple as that.
What I will say is if you have mixed emotions then don't rush into meeting until you are 100% sure about .
Take a step back and look at what your relationship is missing for you to have took a step here.
You say you think she wouldn't be into it but have you actually asked her ?
Anyway good luck "
Yeah I'm in no rush really, kind of testing the water at the moment and seeing what the community is like, maybe start some conversations and take it slowly from there...
Yeah lol its a funny one, I've not actually asked but I just have a feeling it would put pressure on the relationship, which is already rocky at times... I don't know perhaps a conversation is due...
Anyway thanks for some genuine feedback, appreciate it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances."
Yeah there's a few things on mind that have no doubt led me to somewhere like this...
Appreciate your take on the subject - Very well put  |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
Yeah so it depends on who you ask, some are cool with it, some are not.
We practice ethical non-monogamy and are of the opinion that no one should get hurt for the sake of an orgasm (unless they like that). Theres always a reason for everything, reasons can also be labelled as excuses. As someone who has been on both ends of being cheated on, it's just not worth it for anyone involved.
I actively encourage you to have an open dialogue with your partner about how youre feeling about your sex life. Try and word it in a way that takes the pressure off of whats not being done, and tell her what you like instead. Tell her you want to try kink, tell her youve heard about swinging and you're interested.
If you're married to someone, I'll make the crazy assumption that you both like each other. There's very few people I like enough to put up with for the rest of my life, but there are lots I'd have sex with. So just have a chat, worst comes to worst she says no.
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"Your on the wrong site
That's your opinion. It's not our place to judge. I, personally, am married and we're swingers so we're fully aware of what the other gets up to.
However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. There are so many reasons why someone might stray and I don't feel it's up to us to judge. Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it.
If you're on a site like Fab and you're judging people for their personal circumstances, I personally think YOU'RE on the wrong site, but that's just my opinion xx"
An opinion was requested and given |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Conversation, discussion in a relationship goes a long way and can be quite eye opening between partners.
Its better to talk to your partner about what interests you both and what fantasies you have.
Its a starting point and you may find everything you are looking for at home. |
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By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. "
^^^^ this ^^^^
" Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it."
^^^^ and this ^^^^
And nobody knows what goes on in anyone else’s life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah so it depends on who you ask, some are cool with it, some are not.
We practice ethical non-monogamy and are of the opinion that no one should get hurt for the sake of an orgasm (unless they like that). Theres always a reason for everything, reasons can also be labelled as excuses. As someone who has been on both ends of being cheated on, it's just not worth it for anyone involved.
I actively encourage you to have an open dialogue with your partner about how youre feeling about your sex life. Try and word it in a way that takes the pressure off of whats not being done, and tell her what you like instead. Tell her you want to try kink, tell her youve heard about swinging and you're interested.
If you're married to someone, I'll make the crazy assumption that you both like each other. There's very few people I like enough to put up with for the rest of my life, but there are lots I'd have sex with. So just have a chat, worst comes to worst she says no.
"
Cheers appreciate the considerate reply, it's probably the most morally questionable thing I've ever considered having never cheated in the past so definitely not something I would rush into...
I'll need to have a good think about it but great to see what others within the community feel about it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your on the wrong site
That's your opinion. It's not our place to judge. I, personally, am married and we're swingers so we're fully aware of what the other gets up to.
However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. There are so many reasons why someone might stray and I don't feel it's up to us to judge. Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it.
If you're on a site like Fab and you're judging people for their personal circumstances, I personally think YOU'RE on the wrong site, but that's just my opinion xx"
This, I’d try broaching it with her though… there’s lots of ways you can do with some of the stuff that’s on TV these days. No one has a right to judge anyone till they have walked a mile in their moccasins but it’s all about choice. Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the considerate feedback everyone...
Lots to think about and the main take away from everyone's input would be to start a dialogue with the other half and take it from there I guess... |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
OP..
You will always be judged regardless.
Before people start pointing fingers it's best too make sure their hands are clean.
Some of the elusive couples on here aren't as loved up as it would seem.
People have done a lot feckin worse than sleep with married/attached.
Everyone on the site is true and innocent?
Like feckin hell they are.
Make you're own choices and be upfront with the people you care too engage with
Maybe, just maybe you're here because you love her.
Good luck OP
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"Your on the wrong site
So do you feel there is little to no interest in taken guys?
Our view is that swinging is about sharing and swapping not sneaky meets but others will have other views "
Your views on swinging in sharing & swapping is very outdated things have evolved a long time ago.
If the site owners wanted it to remain that way they wouldn't allow singles to join |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Some will be OK with meeting attached and some won't ,its really that simple tbh best advice is to be upfront and open about your situation therefore you are not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes to get your leg over  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your on the wrong site
So do you feel there is little to no interest in taken guys?
Our view is that swinging is about sharing and swapping not sneaky meets but others will have other views "
And you’re entitled to say so AND to feel that way, many do. As I said before it’s always about choice |
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By *iimonMan
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Absolute newbie on here but wanted to ask the wider platform what the general feeling is towards guys on here looking for some fun on the side?
I find myself in this category and I'm full of mixed emotions to be honest...
My missus is stunning and we have an OK sex life but I always find myself wanting to explore more kinky things and I just don't believe she would be into it...
I'd say I'm an decent looking guy that can hold a conversation but wanted to know if this is enough for someone to want to start a conversation with and see where it leads? Or would I need to be plastering dick picks and talk about how good I would be in bed etc to get any sort of feedback.."
Sounds like you need to have a conversation with your girl! You’re just guessing she’s not in to something. Honesty is the best policy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on your side , but to be on your side fully
1st think if you're Mrs is that hot if she was on here could you handle the attention
2nd have you tried to make your sex life better
but ultimately the main question is if you are caught on here and can you live with it ( losing you're family and life you having)
I can understand having loyalty to keep your relationship together and it's admirable and if kids are involved and you don't want to lose that, but you have needs
try and try again with you're partner before cheating, nobody comes off cheating being the good one
So think hard before as you don't want the mother of you kids knowing this is why you aren't home
If you're in a relationship though and no kids if you're already here it's time it ended , hope this novel helped lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was on here as a taken guy a few years ago and I did get some meets.
As others have said don't rush in and think about what you may lose if your caught as am now on here as a non attach man as I did   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been on your side , but to be on your side fully
1st think if you're Mrs is that hot if she was on here could you handle the attention
2nd have you tried to make your sex life better
but ultimately the main question is if you are caught on here and can you live with it ( losing you're family and life you having)
I can understand having loyalty to keep your relationship together and it's admirable and if kids are involved and you don't want to lose that, but you have needs
try and try again with you're partner before cheating, nobody comes off cheating being the good one
So think hard before as you don't want the mother of you kids knowing this is why you aren't home
If you're in a relationship though and no kids if you're already here it's time it ended , hope this novel helped lol "
Thank you mate, definitely given me a lot to mull over... Deep down I know I'm a good guy and to be honest don't even know if I could follow through with anything... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was on here as a taken guy a few years ago and I did get some meets.
As others have said don't rush in and think about what you may lose if your caught as am now on here as a non attach man as I did "
Cheers mate, yeah it's a pretty big decision and one that certainly doesn't come easily to make...
Thanks though, appreciate the input! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been on your side , but to be on your side fully
1st think if you're Mrs is that hot if she was on here could you handle the attention
2nd have you tried to make your sex life better
but ultimately the main question is if you are caught on here and can you live with it ( losing you're family and life you having)
I can understand having loyalty to keep your relationship together and it's admirable and if kids are involved and you don't want to lose that, but you have needs
try and try again with you're partner before cheating, nobody comes off cheating being the good one
So think hard before as you don't want the mother of you kids knowing this is why you aren't home
If you're in a relationship though and no kids if you're already here it's time it ended , hope this novel helped lol "
Good advice, hope it all helps OP |
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"Your on the wrong site
That's your opinion. It's not our place to judge. I, personally, am married and we're swingers so we're fully aware of what the other gets up to.
However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. There are so many reasons why someone might stray and I don't feel it's up to us to judge. Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it.
If you're on a site like Fab and you're judging people for their personal circumstances, I personally think YOU'RE on the wrong site, but that's just my opinion xx"
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"Your on the wrong site
So do you feel there is little to no interest in taken guys?"
Very little interest to be honest there a lot more other guys to choose from who aren't trying to have thier cake and eat it.
If your other half was to join though pretty much no one would have an issue with meeting her. Sad but very true.
Alot of couples like us won't meet single guys that can't accommodate as thats usually a red flag. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
"
It is however, a very valid viewpoint too |
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"I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
"
I’m with you on this, Sinders |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
"
Not sure what you signed up for Cinders, but I'm sure you never signed up for someone else.
So you signed up to tick a few boxes of your own, perhaps different boxes than the OP's but still.
Everyone on here sees others as a commodity in my opinion. Whether that commodity is a sexual partner or just a friendly person to chat to everyone on Fab could get the same thing outwith Fab.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One other thing to point out is that lack of sexual desire often comes from sex they are having not being the kind of sex they want..
You don't desire something if you don't enjoy it.
So when people (men usually) start off their "I'm nice but our sex drives just don't match up" chat, this isn't a great endorsement.
Maybe, she just doesn't desire what's being offered and maybe she doesn't know how to talk about it.
Maybe that means both people in that relationship are actually in the same position but neither wants to bring it up.
Just communicating could actually be the answer... |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We don’t meet attached guys for a few reasons beyond our moral code. They’re flaky and cancel meets because something comes up. They can’t accommodate unless it’s a hotel midweek. They struggle to meet at weekends. They generally work to a time slot and have to do a runner at the end of the night. Plus we’re always worried a distraught wife turns up or finds their communication records.
Given there are genuinely single guys usually signified by accommodating at their home we would choose to meet them.
You should try communicating with your wife and broach the consensual non monogamy discussion and gauge interest. However we’ve met guys who will happily have sex with a wife from a couple but would never want their wife to be having sex with someone else.
A lot to think about but there are some good books covering the subject and how sharing is very natural and monogamy very unnatural. |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
Not sure what you signed up for Cinders, but I'm sure you never signed up for someone else.
So you signed up to tick a few boxes of your own, perhaps different boxes than the OP's but still.
Everyone on here sees others as a commodity in my opinion. Whether that commodity is a sexual partner or just a friendly person to chat to everyone on Fab could get the same thing outwith Fab.
"
Absolutely bang on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
Not sure what you signed up for Cinders, but I'm sure you never signed up for someone else.
So you signed up to tick a few boxes of your own, perhaps different boxes than the OP's but still.
Everyone on here sees others as a commodity in my opinion. Whether that commodity is a sexual partner or just a friendly person to chat to everyone on Fab could get the same thing outwith Fab.
"
Actually if you read my profile you'd know that I actually am seeking someone else! |
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The best thing you can do is talk to her and ask her and see if she's interested you never know she might want to join you here but from personal experience lying to your partner is the worst thing you can do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One other thing to point out is that lack of sexual desire often comes from sex they are having not being the kind of sex they want..
You don't desire something if you don't enjoy it.
So when people (men usually) start off their "I'm nice but our sex drives just don't match up" chat, this isn't a great endorsement.
Maybe, she just doesn't desire what's being offered and maybe she doesn't know how to talk about it.
Maybe that means both people in that relationship are actually in the same position but neither wants to bring it up.
Just communicating could actually be the answer... "
You’re a wise lady. Communication is always the key, more important is to listen. As the old adage goes “You have two ears and one mouth for a reason, you should listen twice as much as you speak”
But hey, no ones perfect and we all learn in this life (one hopes) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No clue why you even asked this question on here to be honest?
You were always gonna get the for and against.
My personal opinion is be truthful on your profile what your doing and what your looking for and then others can decided to meet you or not.
Loads of hypocritical folk on this site saying 1 thing and doing the complete opposite.
Be truthful what your situation is and hope you find what your looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No clue why you even asked this question on here to be honest?
You were always gonna get the for and against.
My personal opinion is be truthful on your profile what your doing and what your looking for and then others can decided to meet you or not.
Loads of hypocritical folk on this site saying 1 thing and doing the complete opposite.
Be truthful what your situation is and hope you find what your looking for."
Aype |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
Not sure what you signed up for Cinders, but I'm sure you never signed up for someone else.
So you signed up to tick a few boxes of your own, perhaps different boxes than the OP's but still.
Everyone on here sees others as a commodity in my opinion. Whether that commodity is a sexual partner or just a friendly person to chat to everyone on Fab could get the same thing outwith Fab.
Actually if you read my profile you'd know that I actually am seeking someone else! "
I could quote a lot of your profile comments but that's not what the thread is about, you give many reasons why your here and why you stay, your profile confirms what I said, we all have reasons to be on Fab . You also use your profile to promote your writings. So in essence you use the Fab members as an audience or entertainment when your bored as per your profile bio.
Listen , I'm not trying to have a pop, my point is , we all use Fab how we choose and to our own gains. |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
My opinion is that it should not matter what other folk think, it’s your decision and your decision alone. Some will choose to meet you, some will not. Do what you want to do and care less what others think. Good Luck x |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"My opinion is that it should not matter what other folk think, it’s your decision and your decision alone. Some will choose to meet you, some will not. Do what you want to do and care less what others think. Good Luck x"
Love this woman..just oozes it x |
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To be fair OP most folks will judge you regardless.
I don't see any point in declaring you are married. Why complicate things.
There will be some that will commend you on your honesty, but the reality is most will steer clear.
Good luck mate
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck . |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck . "
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x  |
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"Your on the wrong site
So do you feel there is little to no interest in taken guys?
Very little interest to be honest there a lot more other guys to choose from who aren't trying to have thier cake and eat it.
If your other half was to join though pretty much no one would have an issue with meeting her. Sad but very true.
Alot of couples like us won't meet single guys that can't accommodate as thats usually a red flag."
nope afraid your wrong not all would meet regardless of gender I will give you that males receive alot more flak for this behaviour though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd say you know the answer yourself and are looking for plausibility through others answers"
Genuinely just wanted to gauge what the majority thought about it...
Certainly got a lot more traction than I initially expected though lol
Cheers for anyone who put in their 2 cents
Happy fabbing |
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"I'd say you know the answer yourself and are looking for plausibility through others answers
Genuinely just wanted to gauge what the majority thought about it...
Certainly got a lot more traction than I initially expected though lol
Cheers for anyone who put in their 2 cents
Happy fabbing "
it really shouldn't matter what others think majority or minority its what you believe that counts.
These posts always gain traction so I will give you the answer you probably need..... If you decide to cheat leave this site rejoin under a different profile name and claim to be single believe me that's what most in relationships do. Harsh but true if your going to do it might as well have as many avenues open as possible |
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"I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
"
Just being Devils Advocate here, since you yourself said it was a sweeping statement. I'm happy to be a commodity and help tick a box. Anything much more than that requires a lot more, of myself, than I'm willing to give.
And, let's be honest, there are men on here who enjoy the thrill of playing away. There's not always a clean cut reason. Sometimes the sex is amazing, the wife is perfect, the family is wonderful and all is right in the world; but there's something carnal they want to fulfil. I mean, let's be fair, that's pretty much why my hubby and I are here lol. We're happy, have a great home life, wonderful kids, great sex life; but there's something kinda carnal and lustful about fucking someone else who isn't yours to fuck. Sounds pretty shady, and might make me sound like a weirdo, but not everyone strays because they're not being fulfilled. Sometimes it's about pride and ego, a confidence boost, and sometimes they respect their wife too much to call her a "filthy fucking slut" while face fucking her! Lmao!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
Just being Devils Advocate here, since you yourself said it was a sweeping statement. I'm happy to be a commodity and help tick a box. Anything much more than that requires a lot more, of myself, than I'm willing to give.
And, let's be honest, there are men on here who enjoy the thrill of playing away. There's not always a clean cut reason. Sometimes the sex is amazing, the wife is perfect, the family is wonderful and all is right in the world; but there's something carnal they want to fulfil. I mean, let's be fair, that's pretty much why my hubby and I are here lol. We're happy, have a great home life, wonderful kids, great sex life; but there's something kinda carnal and lustful about fucking someone else who isn't yours to fuck. Sounds pretty shady, and might make me sound like a weirdo, but not everyone strays because they're not being fulfilled. Sometimes it's about pride and ego, a confidence boost, and sometimes they respect their wife too much to call her a "filthy fucking slut" while face fucking her! Lmao!!!"
Lol there’s definitely fifty shades of opinions, this as valid as any! Love it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not judging here at all, Infact there was a time when attached men were actually my preference.
However I do wonder why men don't ask their partners if they would be up for exploring more but instead create a profile here and seek someone else.
For a lot of the more adventurous stuff many people want someone they trust and feel safe with, not someone just squeezing in a quickie when their wives at work..
Also if your long term partner isn't up for doing these things, why should I be?
Blunt but is now my feeling towards these things.
It sadly seeems people sign up here and see you more as some commodity to help them tick a box rather than someone in your own right.
Of course that's a sweeping statement and won't apply to all..
Just being Devils Advocate here, since you yourself said it was a sweeping statement. I'm happy to be a commodity and help tick a box. Anything much more than that requires a lot more, of myself, than I'm willing to give.
And, let's be honest, there are men on here who enjoy the thrill of playing away. There's not always a clean cut reason. Sometimes the sex is amazing, the wife is perfect, the family is wonderful and all is right in the world; but there's something carnal they want to fulfil. I mean, let's be fair, that's pretty much why my hubby and I are here lol. We're happy, have a great home life, wonderful kids, great sex life; but there's something kinda carnal and lustful about fucking someone else who isn't yours to fuck. Sounds pretty shady, and might make me sound like a weirdo, but not everyone strays because they're not being fulfilled. Sometimes it's about pride and ego, a confidence boost, and sometimes they respect their wife too much to call her a "filthy fucking slut" while face fucking her! Lmao!!!"
Made me pmsl but all good points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Scottish mrs sums it up very well..
Too many are happy to always point the big oh he's a cheater stick at guys on here but more than happy to get the elusive unicorn fem whether she's single or married it would not cross their minds.
Back to my hypocrisy comment. |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"Scottish mrs sums it up very well..
Too many are happy to always point the big oh he's a cheater stick at guys on here but more than happy to get the elusive unicorn fem whether she's single or married it would not cross their minds.
Back to my hypocrisy comment."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thread with some really good points above. This topic always catches my attention as I find the vast mix of attitudes that make the fab community what it is quite mind boggling at times.
Only on fabswingers will you see people being accepting and open minded about the entire universe of sexual kinks, in fact, off on a tangent for a moment, a few years ago I once saw a thread where a single male would tupperware the ejaculate of his meets and then mix it with his food, each to their own it is 2021 after all, however it never fails to make me chuckle that those very same people who don’t kink shame and who stay open minded to even the quirkiest sexual themed activity are as rapid as diarrhea to call out married people as disgusting cheats and inform them they are a shambles etc. Never ever fails to amuse.
Op, in my humble opinion, every member is an adult, we all have our own complicated private lives to navigate and if you’re judged by others for your situation, then you’re really not losing out on people you’d want to meet anyway. Everyone’s welcome and everyone has the right to their privacy.
Btw, the bit about the cum in food was a slight lie to make the post interesting. He put the spunk in the freezer but I can’t remember why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to there own , different strokes for different folks .. some folk prefer to play with someone who is attached as there is no expectation to what it is other than sex .. sometimes folk just need to let out that side to them they feel they can't in their everyday lives for what ever reason that is .. its just about primal lust and that thrill .. aslong as there is no deception .. I don't understand the judgement that comes from.here .. everyone is on for there own agenda and to get what they need regardless of status , if it doesn't involve you directly then whats with the judgement no one has to live with it other than who it involves .. morality seems to be a moving target set to suit everyone's preferences.. this place should be a safe place for folk to express themselves sexually without irrelevant opinions !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm poly and in an open marriage. My wife was on the site before I was. People either don't want a man who is married (I have read a lot of ladies'profiles which say so) even though I am definately in an open marriage and we are both poly or maybe people are just unsure about being with a Trans man? With the exception to today's lovely message exchange I rarely get a reply at all. ....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolute newbie on here but wanted to ask the wider platform what the general feeling is towards guys on here looking for some fun on the side?
I find myself in this category and I'm full of mixed emotions to be honest...
My missus is stunning and we have an OK sex life but I always find myself wanting to explore more kinky things and I just don't believe she would be into it...
I'd say I'm an decent looking guy that can hold a conversation but wanted to know if this is enough for someone to want to start a conversation with and see where it leads? Or would I need to be plastering dick picks and talk about how good I would be in bed etc to get any sort of feedback.."
Oooft you’re opening a can of worms lol
Personally it doesn’t affect me if I don’t know you or your missus, if it did and we knew each other I would say I didn’t approve and leave it at that, whilst I may not agree with cheating I respect folk and their individual reasons for being on here, I won’t knowingly meet someone who’s attached but neither do I judge them! I mean ffs I’ve been on here in the past meeting random guys for sex that’s hardly the “norm”, others would go out their way to out your on social media and try and wreck your life, your marriage, perhaps destroy a few families along the way unless of course you shagged them first and then they would plead ignorance but god forbid !! Personally it’s none of my business and no one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors, plenty of opinions on here they’re like arseholes as the saying goes everyone has them but not everyone wants them shoved in their face, so many hypocrites on here but hey ho let’s go to chapel on Sunday say a few Hail Marys and all is forgiven, folk like to preach on here but hey aren’t we all sinners on here in the eyes of snowflakes and vanillas !!
Meh I could go on hahaha but as you will also find out there are lots of people who prefer to meet with attached men and women, why because they’re often less needy, way more discrete and the thrill of being naughty and doing someone you really shouldn’t of course !! |
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"Your on the wrong site
That's your opinion. It's not our place to judge. I, personally, am married and we're swingers so we're fully aware of what the other gets up to.
However, I've spoken to men who have a beautiful family and love their wife very much but their sex drives don't match up; or they feel obliged to stay with their wife through ill health, kids, finances. There are so many reasons why someone might stray and I don't feel it's up to us to judge. Only the person straying will be able to make their peace with it.
If you're on a site like Fab and you're judging people for their personal circumstances, I personally think YOU'RE on the wrong site, but that's just my opinion xx"
Brilliant post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck .
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x "
Aww moan ... get comfy in ya pjs we cozy up n snuggle in ma nooooodles   |
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By *4Fun11Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Oooft you’re opening a can of worms lol
others would go out their way to out you on social media and try and wreck your life, your marriage, perhaps destroy a few families along the way unless of course you shagged them first and then they would plead ignorance but god forbid !! "
^^^^^^this^^^^^^
Speaking from personal experience.
Just watch out for the ones with the fuck off ugly shoes.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer men to be single as I like to go out and about in public with then. Married men shy away from clubs and parties and prefer to be locked in a room for only sex."
Im married and I'm happy to go out in public for meal and drinks. But then my wife and I have a very open relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer men to be single as I like to go out and about in public with then. Married men shy away from clubs and parties and prefer to be locked in a room for only sex.
Im married and I'm happy to go out in public for meal and drinks. But then my wife and I have a very open relationship."
I should also say she does the same. Although not due to covid |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck .
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x
Aww moan ... get comfy in ya pjs we cozy up n snuggle in ma nooooodles "
You'll just shag me, I know whit you're like. Ye can't just sit respectfully and hold hands x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck .
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x
Aww moan ... get comfy in ya pjs we cozy up n snuggle in ma nooooodles
You'll just shag me, I know whit you're like. Ye can't just sit respectfully and hold hands x "
That’s just your wishful thinking |
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By *ookie69Man
over a year ago
Whistle Dixie |
"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck .
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x
Aww moan ... get comfy in ya pjs we cozy up n snuggle in ma nooooodles
You'll just shag me, I know whit you're like. Ye can't just sit respectfully and hold hands x
That’s just your wishful thinking "
You like Jungle Book too. Grab a seat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont meet anyone with gf or partner wife . Thats my choice. But i wont make you feel any worse for being here. Just i prefer single folks like myself .
Each to their own tho. But im in agreement with others here i would take that step and have the conversation or watch a movie or tv program about swinging maybe take from there. You never know your luck . She might just fancy trying it.
What ever you do . Good luck .
Fancy watching Jungle Book Soodles?
Because I'm tired of Monkeying around x
Aww moan ... get comfy in ya pjs we cozy up n snuggle in ma nooooodles
You'll just shag me, I know whit you're like. Ye can't just sit respectfully and hold hands x
That’s just your wishful thinking
You like Jungle Book too. Grab a seat. "
I love the original movie was one of my favourites as a kid actually have it on dvd somewhere I hope it’s a cosy sofa I’m better snuggled up otherwise I dont sit at peace lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not now or have I ever been married so
I can’t overly comment on your Situation but at least you seem fairly up front. Fab has the wildest mix of people and I am sure plenty of married women are in a similar situation. I personally find married guys hard work. That’s only because I’m Single and like to meet out in public and usually short notice. Good luck
OP. |
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