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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
Regarding the Beach Party
The party starts at 2pm – I don’t get out of bed til gone 11am.
The party ends at 1am – I turn into a pumpkin at 1.01am.
The list will be at the club by 12pm – if I don’t get stuck on the motorway again.
If you are on the list and you are not members, you WILL gain access – the nice people at chameleons won’t even make you join
I will be there from 2pm – in body,,,,,, the mind will still be in bed
There will be Posse members to show newbies around
They will show you how to use the lockers – the key is on a rubber band (another fetish but for now, just put it round your wrist or ankle)
Please be polite and respectful to ALL the staff. They work bloody hard and it’s a thankless job. Therefore, I would ask all party goers to bin their condoms, use ashtrays, take their towels to reception when they leave, return glasses, mugs etc to the bar and just be generally polite and helpful………. Thank you in advance.
The Posse can act like your mother, but that’s a different fetish
Chameleons will provide you with condoms if you run out
You don’t need an organised shag, just be polite, check you can and then jump in
Talk to people, if you think there is an attraction, bloody well ask if they wish to play
Please bring your alcohol and chameleons will put your locker number on it and look after it for you.
Please don’t get d*unk…………it’s not fair on those of us that have to stay sober
Please ensure that a responsible adult is looking after your dog/cat/kids etc and use your lockers for your phone/camera/shoes or any other such luxury
Chameleons (the lovely Lynne) feed you. We have buffets running almost continuously from 6pm…….. but, for those who are feeling a tad peckish, the staff will cook for you from an extensive menu and the prices are super cheap.
If you are vegan/_ruitarian/lactose intolerant/glucose intolerant etc… please bring whatever foods you can eat and store them in Chams fridge. The lovely staff will cook it/defrost it/warm it up for you……… but, they are unable to provide specialist themselves on the buffet due to sheer numbers. We apologise if that upsets anyone.
Be warned, the Beach Party is the busiest day of the year……. The place will be packed. However, the upside of this is that you will make many many new friends.
Please check what time your hotel will let you book in. Those in the immediate area are expecting an influx of randy old pervs so are well prepared for what you get up to.
Don’t be embarrassed if the receptionist throws you a wink and a nod…… you might end up shagging her if you are lucky.
Don’t worry about taxi’s from Chameleons at silly o’clock in the morning, Chams will order them for you and they not expensive.
For the smokers out there……. Please ensure you have a plentiful supply as a 12+ hour shag fest may mean that chain smoking during a break sees you run out.
Gents…… please be polite to the ladies, it’s far easier to chat to someone if you haven’t just called them doll face/babe/darlin’ etc.
Unfortunately, I can not guarantee that someone is definitely going to turn up. Sheer numbers make it impossible for me to see everyone (and anyway, I’m useless with names) so keep your options open and get talking.
Please make sure you have your SatNav or RouteMap ready. The M6 is a bit hit and miss on a Sunday so if needs be, turn up early and loiter with others in the car park.
I may make name tags but for some reason, they always fall off and people end up with someone else’s name stuck to their foot. Anyway, by the time the Jacuzzi’s are full to capacity, no one needs any further introduction.
Please be aware that the old deck is smoking, the NEW deck is Non. Due to the illiterates amongst swingers, Chameleons take a very dim view with anyone caught smoking on the new deck and will remove, from the premises, anyone caught with a cigarette/cigar/pipe/spliff on the new deck. You have been warned.
Jason and Brian will be responsible for the cocktails this year. God help you all. They might be free but guaranteed they will be lethal.
Please don’t try and drown anyone in the Jacuzzi, unless they specifically request it.
The jacuzzi’s get extremely busy and there is always a lot of action. Please feel free to watch, get _ruity or cheer when people get down to it…….. but if a blokey decides that underwater muff diving is for him, please watch where you put your feet!
If the weather is hot…… hahahahahahaha, please bring sun cream if you intend to sit outside.
If the weather is crap, get wet, its always fun having someone else dry you off.
Yes this is the Beach Party……. Please feel free to arrive in beach wear of any connotation however, please note, speedo’s are generally laughed out….. so unless you want to get arrested/laughed at/called names or have ice shovelled down ya kecks…… Don’t wear them.
If you wish to bring inflatables, please do……. I can not guarantee that they will still be in one piece at the end of the evening…… but ….. hey ho.
Buckets and spades are also very welcome, just don’t leave them in the vicinity of Soapy.
Feel free to get naked…….. by 6pm or 2 cocktails, which ever is sooner, no one cares.
Please come and say hello if I am still sober/standing/sane etc…….. if not, DiamondSmiles/FemmeFetal/Pearl Necklace will gladly answer any questions (I knew I’d get them all back one day).
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Looking forward to meet as many FAB peeps as possible on Sunday. See you there! 
