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look versus intellect
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important    |
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Every woman here cant judge a personality by an online profile or I'd be heaving in more mail than Ian mckellen lol
Being online they will look at the pictures first... most say they don't like just a dick pic well plenty do and those same females show a bit of leg tits or fanny themselves haha
Anyway so they judge the pic then see if the guy fits their requirements and yes all women have a list already in mind... a bbc a Bwc a big cock a small cock a single male a married male etc etc
Then they look at location and verification and see if it all fits.
Finally they will message u and see if they can gauge your personality from a few messages.
1 word said that doesnt suit their sensitive dispositions and boom they delete you or block you.
That's the fab life for most men on here.
My advice:
Take it all as a numbers game
Take it all with a pinch of salt
Take it all or leave it all lol
This isnt the only place its 1 of many so use it as such.
Finally and most importantly just smile  |
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I once met someone from another site in spite of never having seen a photo or having any idea what he looked like.
We'd been chatting for years, both online and over the phone, no real intention of meeting (he doesn't live in the UK so it seemed unlikely) but it was his personality, intelligence and humour that I fancied.
We were both in jobs where we travelled a lot, he was coming to the UK to visit a site in Hull, so I rearranged my entire projects calendar to give me a reason to visit Hull on the same day and stayed in the same hotel for the night so we could hook up.
He'd seen photos of me, I had no idea about him. Frankly, as long as he looked vaguely human we were good - I really fancied him long before we met.
Yes, I've also slept with men purely because they've been physically attractive in spite of not having the same connection, but they've never made me pant after them to the same extent because they've never managed to get inside my head. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once met someone from another site in spite of never having seen a photo or having any idea what he looked like.
We'd been chatting for years, both online and over the phone, no real intention of meeting (he doesn't live in the UK so it seemed unlikely) but it was his personality, intelligence and humour that I fancied.
We were both in jobs where we travelled a lot, he was coming to the UK to visit a site in Hull, so I rearranged my entire projects calendar to give me a reason to visit Hull on the same day and stayed in the same hotel for the night so we could hook up.
He'd seen photos of me, I had no idea about him. Frankly, as long as he looked vaguely human we were good - I really fancied him long before we met.
Yes, I've also slept with men purely because they've been physically attractive in spite of not having the same connection, but they've never made me pant after them to the same extent because they've never managed to get inside my head."
you liked him then when you met him in hull? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing's changed: thirty years ago, the guy in the nightclub who looked damn hot would be the one I'd want to flirt or dance with. Not necessarily the one at the bar who began a conversation about metaphysics (but if he was also damned hot... Ooft!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you need that initial attraction, but if my mind is not captured then it won't go any further.
The connection between you is more important than anything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think you need that initial attraction, but if my mind is not captured then it won't go any further.
The connection between you is more important than anything "
so the art of seduction is to seduce her mind |
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"Nothing's changed: thirty years ago, the guy in the nightclub who looked damn hot would be the one I'd want to flirt or dance with. Not necessarily the one at the bar who began a conversation about metaphysics (but if he was also damned hot... Ooft!) "
Lmao and you're username is sapiophile hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing's changed: thirty years ago, the guy in the nightclub who looked damn hot would be the one I'd want to flirt or dance with. Not necessarily the one at the bar who began a conversation about metaphysics (but if he was also damned hot... Ooft!)
Lmao and you're username is sapiophile hahaha "
Being attracted by intelligence and aesthetics are not mutually exclusive  |
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"I once met someone from another site in spite of never having seen a photo or having any idea what he looked like.
We'd been chatting for years, both online and over the phone, no real intention of meeting (he doesn't live in the UK so it seemed unlikely) but it was his personality, intelligence and humour that I fancied.
We were both in jobs where we travelled a lot, he was coming to the UK to visit a site in Hull, so I rearranged my entire projects calendar to give me a reason to visit Hull on the same day and stayed in the same hotel for the night so we could hook up.
He'd seen photos of me, I had no idea about him. Frankly, as long as he looked vaguely human we were good - I really fancied him long before we met.
Yes, I've also slept with men purely because they've been physically attractive in spite of not having the same connection, but they've never made me pant after them to the same extent because they've never managed to get inside my head.you liked him then when you met him in hull? "
Yes I did, he made me laugh a lot.
It was a great evening and I couldn't wait to get back to the room and drag his clothes off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I once met someone from another site in spite of never having seen a photo or having any idea what he looked like.
We'd been chatting for years, both online and over the phone, no real intention of meeting (he doesn't live in the UK so it seemed unlikely) but it was his personality, intelligence and humour that I fancied.
We were both in jobs where we travelled a lot, he was coming to the UK to visit a site in Hull, so I rearranged my entire projects calendar to give me a reason to visit Hull on the same day and stayed in the same hotel for the night so we could hook up.
He'd seen photos of me, I had no idea about him. Frankly, as long as he looked vaguely human we were good - I really fancied him long before we met.
Yes, I've also slept with men purely because they've been physically attractive in spite of not having the same connection, but they've never made me pant after them to the same extent because they've never managed to get inside my head.you liked him then when you met him in hull?
Yes I did, he made me laugh a lot.
It was a great evening and I couldn't wait to get back to the room and drag his clothes off."
ooooo...... have you met again? |
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"you liked him then when you met him in hull?
Yes I did, he made me laugh a lot.
It was a great evening and I couldn't wait to get back to the room and drag his clothes off.ooooo...... have you met again? "
No, initially due to geography.
We do still chat but he has a drug problem that's built since we met (2012/3ish) and I wouldn't meet again until that's dealt with. Shame, I miss the man he was and it makes me sad when we're talking and I see glimpses of who he could be. |
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important "
I don’t see why you can’t have both... someone you are physically attracted to AND someone you click with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disagree. Obviously attraction is what you see first but it's their personality that would get me talking to them and keep me talking to them.
I've had many a very hot guy message me but some are just empty headed and if their first message didn't put me off the next one probably would.
When I got Beasts first photo I was like hmm not sure got chatting to him and we got on so well. It turns out he's shit at photos and is hot as fuck in the flesh - in my opinion. But others may disagree.
But basically yes it's the guys personality that will keep me replying and the guys personality that will leave me wanting |
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So many men here have personalities and wit and intellect and charm yup me included but it's funny to see how some of you females claim its personality over looks.
Men here get looked over due to looks. I'm speaking of the ones that dont send vulgar messages etc
Unless you read a profile fully and decipher the context the subtly behind the words you are most definitely basing your decision as I have said above on looks looks and primarily looks first and only then will decide further.
Someone here seeking a bbc isnt going to like a white guy.
Someone seeking a circumcised cock isnt going to give a hoodie a shot.
Someone here seeking a 40yr old wont remove the filter or consider any other.
It's all based on looks and being honest about that is decent not embarrassing.
I have found some here that choose intelligence as their first criteria and guess what not only have those females and I met they have been far far rarer then one can imagine.
So little honesty people is all it takes |
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important "
I guess it depends
Your implication however is the two do not or cannot correlate.
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important
I guess it depends
Your implication however is the two do not or cannot correlate.
prove the implication wrong although i just posed the question "
Think I just have
Are you suggesting
A I do not have abs
B not intelligent
?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So little honesty people is all it takes "
Maybe it's some mens self righteousness not they way they look that put woman off 
It's my pet hate when people say what other people have put isn't honest!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important
I guess it depends
Your implication however is the two do not or cannot correlate.
prove the implication wrong although i just posed the question
Think I just have
Are you suggesting
A I do not have abs
B not intelligent
?
"
YOU definitely have both a. and b. Just saying...  |
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important
I guess it depends
Your implication however is the two do not or cannot correlate.
prove the implication wrong although i just posed the question "
You just posted a false dichotomy with the erroneous provocative use of vs
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"
So little honesty people is all it takes
Maybe it's some mens self righteousness not they way they look that put woman off
It's my pet hate when people say what other people have put isn't honest!!! "
Maybe shoulda woulda coulda I'm dealing with facts on this site.
Sure out there when you meet someone you can base it upon personality if you really happen to click with someone before you notice their looks but on here its about the looks as personality is not easily shared.
I rest my case |
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The vital bit missed here is that if a bloke has a wonderful personality or a body to die for, or maybe even both, a woman isn’t definitely going to want to meet him.
There’s a dozen other things that need to be right and perhaps we’re not able to articulate most of them.
However one of the biggest turn offs is almost certainly entitlement. “But I’m exactly what you want, why won’t you sleep with me?” |
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By *exyEggsCouple
over a year ago
North East Scotland, mostly |
"The vital bit missed here is that if a bloke has a wonderful personality or a body to die for, or maybe even both, a woman isn’t definitely going to want to meet him.
There’s a dozen other things that need to be right and perhaps we’re not able to articulate most of them.
However one of the biggest turn offs is almost certainly entitlement. “But I’m exactly what you want, why won’t you sleep with me?”"
Excellent point! People, for me, aren't a ticklist of requirements. Some people do use fab that way, but that doesn't work for me. It's a combination of looks and personality that does. I don't understand why people think you can separate the two? I can't do that.
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women tend to prefer me as a friend. They don’t come running to rip my clothes off. So I’m guessing that they enjoy my conversation and personality, but aren’t really sexually attracted to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here? I agree, it's the pics that attract me first, if there's no flutter when I look at them then I'm unlikely to reply and get to know his personality. I'm here looking for someone to fuck, I need to feel that want.
I don't agree that he has to be gym fit and chiseled though, I'm attracted to loads of different things, especially if they've taken the time to present themselves well visually. It shows me that they understand attraction and might be on my wavelength. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so many women here are seduced by the look of a mans body, the washboard stomach, the thighs, the abs, the butt cheeks but ultimately how important is that to a woman, surely his mind is more important "
His face is more important, then his brain |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On here? I agree, it's the pics that attract me first, if there's no flutter when I look at them then I'm unlikely to reply and get to know his personality. I'm here looking for someone to fuck, I need to feel that want.
I don't agree that he has to be gym fit and chiseled though, I'm attracted to loads of different things, especially if they've taken the time to present themselves well visually. It shows me that they understand attraction and might be on my wavelength. "
yes but youre on ufm |
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"On here? I agree, it's the pics that attract me first, if there's no flutter when I look at them then I'm unlikely to reply and get to know his personality. I'm here looking for someone to fuck, I need to feel that want.
I don't agree that he has to be gym fit and chiseled though, I'm attracted to loads of different things, especially if they've taken the time to present themselves well visually. It shows me that they understand attraction and might be on my wavelength. "
Thank you for your honesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re not looking for new life time partners on Fab as we have each other , so fundamentally we’re looking for good sex with another attractive couple so yes not really bothered about how intellectual they are ,so long as they’re not total idiots . Fab is a bit like sweet shop not going to pick a rancid sweet that we don’t want to eat so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We’re not looking for new life time partners on Fab as we have each other , so fundamentally we’re looking for good sex with another attractive couple so yes not really bothered about how intellectual they are ,so long as they’re not total idiots . Fab is a bit like sweet shop not going to pick a rancid sweet that we don’t want to eat so to speak "
so for you its a sweetie shop or a box of chocolates you just want the soft centres |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re not looking for new life time partners on Fab as we have each other , so fundamentally we’re looking for good sex with another attractive couple so yes not really bothered about how intellectual they are ,so long as they’re not total idiots . Fab is a bit like sweet shop not going to pick a rancid sweet that we don’t want to eat so to speak so for you its a sweetie shop or a box of chocolates you just want the soft centres "
Prefer hard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone who is articulate and has a sexy mind, can be as sexy as looks for me and someone who can hold a conversation is a good start, as some people can't string a sentence which is worrying x]]]- |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet. "
Wow that's quite the view point you have there...those poor unattractive people with their personalities |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet. "
Absolutely, who wants an intellectual penis ? |
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"Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet.
Wow that's quite the view point you have there...those poor unattractive people with their personalities "
To be fair she kinda has a point. I get I'm a face for radio but unless I drop on the right person I could write *THE*
most unique well thought out message that tailors to their profile, ticks all their boxes (and jump through any hoops...yes you know the kind) yet still get completely blanked.
Bit down heartening initially but to put a positive spin on this "oh wow is me" I've had some fun times here in the forums. Just sometimes a little interaction could make someone's day |
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"I think the initial physical attraction has to be there to spark the interest/conversation. This is where the mind takes over and ultimately plays the biggest part in whether a meet will happen "
Exactly this |
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For me it's always physical attraction first...but if we don't click after messaging then it's not going any further, regardless of how pretty they are. So I guess it's both looks and personality for a fussy bugger like me  |
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"The mind wins. He could be perfectly toned everywhere and be the veat looking guy in the whole world, but if his personality was crap then it would be a no from me.
Mrs
*best"
But...if a guy got into your mind that didn't look like a chiseled Adonis you'd say yes? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it's always physical attraction first...but if we don't click after messaging then it's not going any further, regardless of how pretty they are. So I guess it's both looks and personality for a fussy bugger like me "
Absolutely this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can find the quirky and "unconventional" people attractive. The different, the "weirdos" as others may view them. I'm drawn to those kind of people because of their personality and freedom to be themselves. I would still need to find them physically attractive though, and that's normally a twinkle in their eye. Now for the intelligence bit, yes they need to be smart. Not too much smarter than me, but in different areas and lots of the same areas, however just as important is emotional intelligence. Without that I cannot move forward.
Unless we're in a club and I simply want fucking from the fittie who can keep his mouth shut so as not to burst my bubble if he's a bit of a dimlo.
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet.
Absolutely, who wants an intellectual penis ? "
the thinking mans penis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Physical attraction counts lets not bullshit each other its not like you are moving in together people are here to meet people they are attracted to for sex. The old adage people roll out about it all being about the personality is rubbish and an ideal peddled by unattractive people to get a meet. "
Physical attraction does count yes, however I can overlook hairy toes if someone has a great personally, but some personalities can be soooooooo ugly that no amount of good looks would count.
P |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"The mind wins. He could be perfectly toned everywhere and be the veat looking guy in the whole world, but if his personality was crap then it would be a no from me.
Mrs
*best
But...if a guy got into your mind that didn't look like a chiseled Adonis you'd say yes? "
Yes. Mind matters the most. |
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I think some people also misunderstand the intellect thing. It's not some stupid dick measuring contest where my letters after my name are longer than yours, or my university is thicker/ more aesthetically pleasing than yours.
I don't give a shit if you left school before your GCSEs or you have multiple doctorates.
I'm drawn to intelligence, but I suppose for me it's an openness to knowledge, curiosity, willingness to question. That kind of passion doesn't always correlate with educational attainment (and snobs need not apply).
And for me, that kind of passion doesn't just get the cerebral juices flowing... |
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