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Toilet paper alternatives
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead? |
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"So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead?"
Use your left hand. Eat with your right! |
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"So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead?"
Pasta...oh wait  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just use your hand, you're meant to be washing them loads anyway.
Cheaper and if you save your poos for just before showertime, bonus 
Douche! "
Oh no no no no no no. Think I'll leave that one for you and I'll stick with the shower afterwards |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The Sun Newspaper
This 
Where the bleeding hell do you expect me to get hold of on of them? Also wiping your bum with a shitty rag seems a bit counterproductive!"
Isn't reading The Sun a huge no no in Liverpool? |
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"The Sun Newspaper
This
Where the bleeding hell do you expect me to get hold of on of them? Also wiping your bum with a shitty rag seems a bit counterproductive!
Isn't reading The Sun a huge no no in Liverpool?"
At this point I'd be impressed if you could find one in Liverpool, nevermind read it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead?"
Newspaper like what previous generations had to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've literally come back from the supermarket and the aisle for toilet paper is like 25/30meters long, usually packed of toilet roll, and it was empty, is this a bandwagon or are people actually genuinely panicking?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard on the radio today about something called a bum gun.
Can be found on facebook.
Honestly it's a thing."
The whole (hole) reason this thread exists is because of Farcebook.
People are incapable of logical thought...Oh Brenda posted that since her dog's cousin got covid-23 she hasn't stopped shitting. I'm away out to buy toilet roll. Please share.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pressure washer"
Hey in Thailand all the bogs have a little hose gun attached to the cold water supply....a bit like a pressure washer, but works a treat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pressure washer
Hey in Thailand all the bogs have a little hose gun attached to the cold water supply....a bit like a pressure washer, but works a treat "
Yeah I’ve experienced those in a number of countries. Some of them are vicious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I heard on the radio today about something called a bum gun.
Can be found on facebook.
Honestly it's a thing.
I've got a porridge gun  "
Aka the golden spurtle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pressure washer
Hey in Thailand all the bogs have a little hose gun attached to the cold water supply....a bit like a pressure washer, but works a treat "
Great for spraying shit at high pressure off your arse and all over the toilet and tiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pressure washer
Hey in Thailand all the bogs have a little hose gun attached to the cold water supply....a bit like a pressure washer, but works a treat
Yeah I’ve experienced those in a number of countries. Some of them are vicious."
You know when you've misjudged and caught a low hanging nut with one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pressure washer
Hey in Thailand all the bogs have a little hose gun attached to the cold water supply....a bit like a pressure washer, but works a treat
Yeah I’ve experienced those in a number of countries. Some of them are vicious."
They are good for when you get dehydrated from a long flight and you have no poo knife |
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"The Sun Newspaper
This
Where the bleeding hell do you expect me to get hold of on of them? Also wiping your bum with a shitty rag seems a bit counterproductive!
Isn't reading The Sun a huge no no in Liverpool?"
It should be a huge no no across the whole country |
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Ancient tree paper alternatives - Papyrus, which can grow indoors
Parchment, from skin of some animals - a bit of a messy process, once you've caught them
Or from bamboo and other fibrous plants - get gardening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead?
Newspaper like what previous generations had to do "
I get all my news on my laptop. As an alternative to toilet paper, it's painful and starting to get expensive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, usually when I do a shop, I buy toilet roll in bulk, mainly because it works out cheaper and toilet paper doesn't rot so just put it in a cupboard and forget about it. No point buying small packs.
But, I don't want to buy a big pack now because I'll look like a dick head whos panic buying.
So, what toilet paper alternatives could I buy instead?"
Adult pull up pads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remember the 'Government Property' toilet paper? It was like grease-proof paper,had no absorbancy what so ever"
In Delhi University, they call this the "John Wayne" toilet paper because it's white, very tough and takes no shit from Indians. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Remember the 'Government Property' toilet paper? It was like grease-proof paper,had no absorbancy what so ever
In Delhi University, they call this the "John Wayne" toilet paper because it's white, very tough and takes no shit from Indians. "
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(joking, of course) 