FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Prince of Matchmaking 2
Prince of Matchmaking 2
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've got half hour left at work to do this so here goes
Say your in, a little about yourself and what you're looking for on.
Using scientific algorithms (my semi decent judgement) I will pair you with someone else on the thread
Go |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm in .. I want 5ft11 aged 33 year old man who can accommodate tattoos, social drinker and non smoker
 "
How felxible are you on the age? And the smoking? And the tattoos? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Curious and in.
what are you looking for?
Oh sorry! A man who is clever, witty, handsome and tall (in order of preference)."
sounds like danny7824 to me
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fussy 
So is Lezzer
You two are perfect for eachother
I'm with you on that one I'm not you type
That's hardly scientific matchmaking... Methinks this free service is a con. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im in
Im a curvy, lively (hyper) chatterbox nymph.
I want a tall slim WE man for regular meets
-Ivy- and not your type
Thats you too sorted
"
I'm not tall or WE...!!! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm fussy
So is Lezzer
You two are perfect for eachother
That's hardly scientific matchmaking... Methinks this free service is a con. "
Quite clearly you both have things in common. not sure what else you want  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in. I’m humorous love boobs I’m 53 though.
Don't suppose youre a trans-lesbian are you?"
Just a moment. I’ll check.... well according to my stars I’m due for a change so I guess so.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m Mr. M - I’m a man. What’s more to be said? "
You didn't specify what youre looking for so you can have Lord of Orgasms
hes looking for his mirror, your both similar build and you live near each other
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m Mr. M - I’m a man. What’s more to be said?
You didn't specify what youre looking for so you can have Lord of Orgasms
hes looking for his mirror, your both similar build and you live near each other
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im in
Im a curvy, lively (hyper) chatterbox nymph.
I want a tall slim WE man for regular meets
-Ivy- and not your type
Thats you too sorted
"
Haha, bit out my age range im afraid and shorter than me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 32-34, available when I am and no more than a 2 HOUR drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a retarded stallion stallion.
Over to you... "
I might know someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in. I'd like intelligent conversation and a dirty mind
Cheeky Monkey XXX then. Until he becomes a trans-lesbian. Then he belongs to Lisa Belle"
Oh I think I’ll def go trans-lesso |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 38-52, available when I am and no more than a 30 min drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a stallion.
Over to you... "
Doing so well until we got to the "fuck like a stallion" bit |
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For tax benefits, I need to find a wife by next week.
I’m really cheap though so we’ll have to settle for a sloppy kebab instead of a wedding cake and we’ll have to have some utterly dirt cheap plonk (I’m thinking White Star Cider or the like) to celebrate our joyous union..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm in. I'd like intelligent conversation and a dirty mind
Cheeky Monkey XXX then. Until he becomes a trans-lesbian. Then he belongs to Lisa Belle
Oh I think I’ll def go trans-lesso"
You and Lisa Belle then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm trans-lesbian and looking to be matchmaked with another trans-lesbian. Good luck with sorting that one out in your last 20 mins at work! "
Not only did I find you someone. I got them to transition for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Im in
Im a curvy, lively (hyper) chatterbox nymph.
I want a tall slim WE man for regular meets
-Ivy- and not your type
Thats you too sorted
Haha, bit out my age range im afraid and shorter than me"
Sorry, but don't doubt my scientific algorithms please |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 32-34, available when I am and no more than a 2 HOUR drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a retarded stallion stallion.
Over to you...
I might know someone"
Yay
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Go on Choo I'm in!
I'm a peri menopausal super human cruising for knock yer pants off mind and body bending chemistry and kindness. Deep n daft.
Haway, dont let me down "
You're already mine, why would i match you with someone just to cheat on me?
But fine. You get 20thCenturyToyxxx
|
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"I'm trans-lesbian and looking to be matchmaked with another trans-lesbian. Good luck with sorting that one out in your last 20 mins at work!
Not only did I find you someone. I got them to transition for you "
Fantastic work! Who said this service was a con! Cheeky Monkey will be very happy as he said he wanted boobs and I have boobs. Admittedly I put them in a box at the end of the night! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm trans-lesbian and looking to be matchmaked with another trans-lesbian. Good luck with sorting that one out in your last 20 mins at work!
Not only did I find you someone. I got them to transition for you
Fantastic work! Who said this service was a con! Cheeky Monkey will be very happy as he said he wanted boobs and I have boobs. Admittedly I put them in a box at the end of the night! "
boobs are boobs and you are welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 32-34, available when I am and no more than a 2 HOUR drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a retarded stallion stallion.
Over to you...
I might know someone
Yay
"
That went over your head didnt it?
If not. PM me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What a beauty thread best in a while, so here goes... - I’m a younger lad who loves a laugh and joke but has a serious weakness for older women and redheads - looking for 35+ ...  |
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I’m in. Looking for tall, dark and handsome man. Single and with his own teeth please! Good in bed and not clingy but wants a relationship. Also within a reasonable distance (c. 1hr driving). Bonus points if he wants a hot wife type arrangement! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
He can’t be that desperate surely  "
Thats what i thought but the algorithm never lies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
He can’t be that desperate surely
Thats what i thought but the algorithm never lies"
Cheeky prince you are |
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"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours "
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out? "
Take private parts, hes clogging up my thread |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 38-54, available when I am and no more than a 30 min drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a stallion.
Over to you...
I might know someone
Yay
That went over your head didnt it?
If not. PM me "
Yes, I have to admit I didn't notice you'd changed the details, you bugger.
Anyway, come on, be serious and find me a new lover....tia |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What a beauty thread best in a while, so here goes... - I’m a younger lad who loves a laugh and joke but has a serious weakness for older women and redheads - looking for 35+ ... "
kk36. Check her out. not sure on hair colour but i think you 2 will hit it off
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above."
God damn! I ticked all apart from too far
*sobs* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out? "
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Might as well.
Male, at least 5'10, between 38-54, available when I am and no more than a 30 min drive away, must be able to accommodate and fuck like a stallion.
Over to you...
I might know someone
Yay
That went over your head didnt it?
If not. PM me
Yes, I have to admit I didn't notice you'd changed the details, you bugger.
Anyway, come on, be serious and find me a new lover....tia "
wow
ok  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above.
God damn! I ticked all apart from too far
*sobs*"
You've been setup as well
Go away
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
He can’t be that desperate surely
Where shall we honeymoon darlin’?  "
Yes, let’s go to Pontins |
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In
Black ... or white
Bi ... or curious... or straight
Fun personality ... don't take themselves or others seriously
No inhibitions .. willing to try anything for a laugh
Cock size not important... but do prefer girth when available
Body type really not important either .. love a love handle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making "
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for "
Nooooo |
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"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab "
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above.
God damn! I ticked all apart from too far
*sobs*"
Boo! =( |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo"
What? shes lovely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night "
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above.
God damn! I ticked all apart from too far
*sobs*
You've been setup as well
Go away
"
It was a bad match |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above.
God damn! I ticked all apart from too far
*sobs*
You've been setup as well
Go away
It was a bad match"
How fucking dare you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely! "
We already got fab married, messy divorce |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely! "
one I was out and two I gen thought you was quoting cheeky. Still no hold a shit convo and little dick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely!
We already got fab married, messy divorce "
Ha! what are the odds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely!
one I was out and two I gen thought you was quoting cheeky. Still no hold a shit convo and little dick"
I’ll have you know I am lovely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely!
one I was out and two I gen thought you was quoting cheeky. Still no hold a shit convo and little dick
I’ll have you know I am lovely "
ish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man, 6'3"+, dark hair, brown eyes, beard, dad bod, fills a doorway, bit rugged, VWE, and can hold a conversation.....
If you find me one within a reasonable distance from cardiff I will be incredibly impressed and hail you as the king of match making
Mr Gorgeous. I'm sure he's what you're looking for
Nooooo
What? shes lovely!
one I was out and two I gen thought you was quoting cheeky. Still no hold a shit convo and little dick
I’ll have you know I am lovely "
Lol jokes I'm just salty because they've both already pied us |
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"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know "
Eh....I’ll have to ask the forumites for a whip round; I’m sure we can raise enough.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Come on then PoF... I would like someone who’s up for a laugh, doesn’t take things to seriously and just wants to have fun with a naughty ending, and I prefer dark hair "
I am honestly struggling for men right now. But hold on |
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"Come on then PoF... I would like someone who’s up for a laugh, doesn’t take things to seriously and just wants to have fun with a naughty ending, and I prefer dark hair
I am honestly struggling for men right now. But hold on"
Lol, that’s alright part of fab life being patient |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Actually. Im out of time now.
Once again Lady Lick goes unmatched. Starting to suspect she's the problem here.
Everyone else who didn't find the love of their life here today, The Prince of Matchmaking will be back soon
|
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"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above."
Awwww. I’m just nowhere near Liverpool. Xx |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"Go on Choo I'm in!
I'm a peri menopausal super human cruising for knock yer pants off mind and body bending chemistry and kindness. Deep n daft.
Haway, dont let me down
You're already mine, why would i match you with someone just to cheat on me?
But fine. You get 20thCenturyToyxxx
"
I could settle for you both. I've got a plan ....
Hormones are mental like I said, so if it's ok I'd quite like to eat raw kale off Toys heart chakra and snort gin out of Prince's belly button.
You two can clash swords over me having a little weep. Then we all just hug for 5 hours.
Safe word 'ovaries' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in!
A woman:
bisexual, close to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, doesn't smoke or do drugs, is 26-40.
Or
A man:
Straight, close to or can travel to Liverpool, wants to meet at a club, is ~30-50, doesn't smoke or do drugs, will actually read my profile before he messages me, isn't submissive or into anal play.
Couples... A combination of the above.
Awwww. I’m just nowhere near Liverpool. Xx"
Damn, I'm just having no luck tonight |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Actually. Im out of time now.
Once again Lady Lick goes unmatched. Starting to suspect she's the problem here.
Everyone else who didn't find the love of their life here today, The Prince of Matchmaking will be back soon
"
Don't bother
|
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"Actually. Im out of time now.
Once again Lady Lick goes unmatched. Starting to suspect she's the problem here.
Everyone else who didn't find the love of their life here today, The Prince of Matchmaking will be back soon
"
Love of my life? Please! Love is so overrated, it ultimately only causes pain. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Actually. Im out of time now.
Once again Lady Lick goes unmatched. Starting to suspect she's the problem here.
Everyone else who didn't find the love of their life here today, The Prince of Matchmaking will be back soon
Don't bother
"
Well dont say I never offered  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Go on Choo I'm in!
I'm a peri menopausal super human cruising for knock yer pants off mind and body bending chemistry and kindness. Deep n daft.
Haway, dont let me down
You're already mine, why would i match you with someone just to cheat on me?
But fine. You get 20thCenturyToyxxx
I could settle for you both. I've got a plan ....
Hormones are mental like I said, so if it's ok I'd quite like to eat raw kale off Toys heart chakra and snort gin out of Prince's belly button.
You two can clash swords over me having a little weep. Then we all just hug for 5 hours.
Safe word 'ovaries' "
Does it have to be swords? I would say mines more of a dagger. But I do have an innie belly button so that should suit you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know
Eh....I’ll have to ask the forumites for a whip round; I’m sure we can raise enough.... "
Should we just elope with a can of white lightning |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know
Eh....I’ll have to ask the forumites for a whip round; I’m sure we can raise enough....
Should we just elope with a can of white lightning "
See? This is what happens when you listen to the scientific algorithms |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know
Eh....I’ll have to ask the forumites for a whip round; I’m sure we can raise enough....
Should we just elope with a can of white lightning
See? This is what happens when you listen to the scientific algorithms "
Could you sort a guest list for us |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m in and I’m looking for a decent cup of tea
_ensuallover1000 is desperate. and now, hes all yours
Cheeky and I will invite you to our glorious wedding.
Oh....I need a best man to so if you could help out?
I’m really looking forward to the sloppy kebab
I’v just procured some quality Lambrini to - we’ll dine like a king and queen on the night
Have you not got any Sherry . I want to celebrate in style you know
Eh....I’ll have to ask the forumites for a whip round; I’m sure we can raise enough....
Should we just elope with a can of white lightning
See? This is what happens when you listen to the scientific algorithms
Could you sort a guest list for us "
Sorry, software just crashed. I'll have to reboot |
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