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Wtf

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan over a year ago

Lincoln

Struggling to contain your erection?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you propose marriage ?

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue"

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

When it happens in Fortnums it’s from a better class of person

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By *0FrankMan over a year ago

The South!

WTF? Who shops in Matalan?!?!?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my! Accident or did they do it on purpose?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue"

Your wife was behind you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you pregnant?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"WTF? Who shops in Matalan?!?!?!

Mr gorge ous

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you dare look round to see who?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When it happens in Fortnums it’s from a better class of person

Or Harvey Nichols

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"Did you dare look round to see who?"

Just went for the reach around

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"WTF? Who shops in Matalan?!?!?!

Matalans alright when you are shopping on a budget.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I got touched up by an old lady in Asda once. True story

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Woah, who is bad mouthing Matalan?! It's fab

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By *0FrankMan over a year ago

The South!

I was joking!

Matalan is ok.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fight them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fight them"

Really wish they had more expressive emoticons (or whatever you bloody call them) on FAB

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By *affeine DuskMan over a year ago

Caerphilly

They heard you're off the market. The masses ain't having it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did you propose marriage ? "

No I'm taken now

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did you dare look round to see who?"

Fucking right I did and the naughty minx was looking me dead in the eye

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

No definitely not she full on grasped it, it wasn't a tap.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue"

If you jizzed your pants rush home quick

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"They heard you're off the market. The masses ain't having it

I knew the fab community has taken the news hard I didn't know Swansea were up to date already.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

No definitely not she full on grasped it, it wasn't a tap."

Check your wallet is still there..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry about that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That’s first date done then

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry about that

Venus if it was you I would of discombobulated from excitement

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh dear sexual harassment

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh dear sexual harassment "

That's what I thought but then can you blame her, my own fault really for wearing my most flattering trousers.

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By *hank you sirMan over a year ago

colchester

You probably should've had some trousers on

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

No definitely not she full on grasped it, it wasn't a tap."

Wow...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

No definitely not she full on grasped it, it wasn't a tap.

Wow...

Wouldn't of been so bad if she didn't have the cheek to stare me out after the event.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue"

Then you are not disease free no more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue

Ooh....are you sure they didn't just bump you with their bag?

No definitely not she full on grasped it, it wasn't a tap.

Wow...

Wouldn't of been so bad if she didn't have the cheek to stare me out after the event."

She tought you had a lovely one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You probably should've had some trousers on"

He was in the naked version of Matalan

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Diamond was it you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m sorry to say if it’s a guy who touched your arse it means you’re gay especially if you go home or to your car and wanked off thinking about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stop daydreaming in Matalan lol

#FabsAddiction #FoReal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone just touched my arse in the Matalan queue"

Was she sizing up your wallet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You don't full on grope someone trying to steal a wallet she was just trying it on I reckon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I probably would have made a lot of fuss about it, damn sure if it had been a man touching a woman's arse she would have been yelling all the way to the police station.

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

"You don't full on grope someone trying to steal a wallet she was just trying it on I reckon "

Unless she was the most rubbish trainee pickpocket ever!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I probably would have made a lot of fuss about it, damn sure if it had been a man touching a woman's arse she would have been yelling all the way to the police station."

I know, problem is police would probably be on her side when they see my bum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You don't full on grope someone trying to steal a wallet she was just trying it on I reckon

Unless she was the most rubbish trainee pickpocket ever!"

She definitely needs to work on it

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

[Removed by poster at 17/12/19 14:38:12]

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

A couple of years ago I (Luke) was waiting in the queue at a supermarket. A woman came up to my side and put her arm around my waist and snuggled up to me. I looked at her in surprise and saw her face change to a look of horror as she realised her OH was one in front of me in the queue.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

That wouldn’t have happened in Llantrisant, they’re more reserved up there

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By *hloevtTV/TS over a year ago

norwich

Some people have all the luck !!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm off to Matalan

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A couple of years ago I (Luke) was waiting in the queue at a supermarket. A woman came up to my side and put her arm around my waist and snuggled up to me. I looked at her in surprise and saw her face change to a look of horror as she realised her OH was one in front of me in the queue. "

Hahaha that's hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That wouldn’t have happened in Llantrisant, they’re more reserved up there

I quite enjoyed tbf

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm off to Matalan

Can get proper frisky in there always take protection

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central