FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Praising the ones you like
Praising the ones you like
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Without putting others down. Is it possible?! 
The whole ‘I love curvy women, only a dog wants a bone...’ or ‘older women are better than younger women because of x y and z’
Do you find men or women do this more? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A fun thing to do when someone’s complimenting me whilst putting others down is ask why. I have a real woman’s body? What’s a fake one? Unless they’re a robot or something surely they’re real? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for "
My reply underneath this was badly timed 
But yeah I get ya! Mob mentality |
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"A fun thing to do when someone’s complimenting me whilst putting others down is ask why. I have a real woman’s body? What’s a fake one? Unless they’re a robot or something surely they’re real? "
Oh that one really gets up my nose! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
My reply underneath this was badly timed
But yeah I get ya! Mob mentality "
Haha. I think I misread the thread anyway  . I don’t think that’s what you meant |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
My reply underneath this was badly timed
But yeah I get ya! Mob mentality
Haha. I think I misread the thread anyway . I don’t think that’s what you meant "
No it sort of is! And I agree most of the time I don’t think anyone means to offend. But I find some people say it (like the whole nobody wants a bone referring to skinny women) to try and impress those they prefer (if that makes sense) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?"
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
It is entirely possible. However regardless of how something is worded there will always be somebody who takes offense to what is being said. Some people just like to get offended.
On the second part, in terms of how things are said, overall I find that men in general are poor at phrasing things and coming across incorrectly. While women are much more blunt and brutal and are less likely to read between the lines at the intent.
DISCLAIMER!
This does not apply to all men and women. Just a general observation over the years. If you think it applies to everyone, then you are likely my proof. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it perfectly possible to big someone up without putting anyone else down.
I see men doing this more than women but I agree with Nora often from men its just bad wording or not understanding it can be offensive, when Iv seen women do it, it seems more deliberate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
My reply underneath this was badly timed
But yeah I get ya! Mob mentality
Haha. I think I misread the thread anyway . I don’t think that’s what you meant
No it sort of is! And I agree most of the time I don’t think anyone means to offend. But I find some people say it (like the whole nobody wants a bone referring to skinny women) to try and impress those they prefer (if that makes sense)"
Yeah that’s not nice. Same as saying nobody wants a fatty saying that. No need x |
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why. "
They would. I think people can be too quick to feel offended in that instance.
Personally I'm more likely to say "X isn't my preference but there's something for everyone" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why. "
See I think that is perfectly acceptable. Its all about the wording. slim men are not real men for example would be offensive, we often see that the other way round. |
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why. "
But I think when men say things like I want a curvy woman not a bag of bones. The female equivalent could be I want a slim man not a tub of lard (which isn't my opinion before I get hate messages), I think women are a bit more mindful of feelings in general |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without putting others down. Is it possible?!
The whole ‘I love curvy women, only a dog wants a bone...’ or ‘older women are better than younger women because of x y and z’
Do you find men or women do this more?"
Our words have incredible power to put somebody down or lift somebody up. A few years ago I have made a conscious decision that I will never use my words to put others down, but only lift them up. So my point is, if it is not constructive, then I will STFU!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why.
See I think that is perfectly acceptable. Its all about the wording. slim men are not real men for example would be offensive, we often see that the other way round. "
Exactly that. He shouldn’t have said I like real women as that’s not acceptable but he did apologise as soon as someone flagged it but people didn’t stop! Poor bloke  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about "I like X because" rather than "X is better than Y because"?
But “I prefer chunky men to slim men”. People would take that as offensive probably and I really don’t understand why.
But I think when men say things like I want a curvy woman not a bag of bones. The female equivalent could be I want a slim man not a tub of lard (which isn't my opinion before I get hate messages), I think women are a bit more mindful of feelings in general"
That's what I tried to say further up but you put it much better.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Without putting others down. Is it possible?!
The whole ‘I love curvy women, only a dog wants a bone...’ or ‘older women are better than younger women because of x y and z’
Do you find men or women do this more?
Our words have incredible power to put somebody down or lift somebody up. A few years ago I have made a conscious decision that I will never use my words to put others down, but only lift them up. So my point is, if it is not constructive, then I will STFU! "
I had*
Apologies. To many auto correct hilarities.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but thats cos theres only 1 woman who was customised for me
What if her arm falls off or something?
Gorilla glue 
Perfecto "
blue peter badge for me woo hoo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep but thats cos theres only 1 woman who was customised for me
What if her arm falls off or something?
Gorilla glue
Perfecto
blue peter badge for me woo hoo"
Scouts badge! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has always kind of confused me.
I’ve met curvy women I fancied and curvy women I didn’t.
I’ve met older women I fancied and older ones that I didn’t.
I’ve met younger women....you can see where this is going right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The word "better" is the bastard.
That's the one that infers that others are worse or aren't good enough.
Preference is sound, we all understand that people can't choose who they are attracted to as such and what they find appealing.
When it comes to stuff like behaviours then I can tolerate it, for example Mother Theresa is a better human than Ian Brady, other than that I'm not a fan of the word in reference to people.
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This has always kind of confused me.
I’ve met curvy women I fancied and curvy women I didn’t.
I’ve met older women I fancied and older ones that I didn’t.
I’ve met younger women....you can see where this is going right? "
And you hated every single one of them? Knew it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The word "better" is the bastard.
That's the one that infers that others are worse or aren't good enough.
Preference is sound, we all understand that people can't choose who they are attracted to as such and what they find appealing.
When it comes to stuff like behaviours then I can tolerate it, for example Mother Theresa is a better human than Ian Brady, other than that I'm not a fan of the word in reference to people.
P"
Ffs I thought that said Ian Beale |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but thats cos theres only 1 woman who was customised for me
What if her arm falls off or something?
Gorilla glue
Perfecto
blue peter badge for me woo hoo
Scouts badge!"
akila we will do our best
Cubs do your best
We will do our best |
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I a!ways think that if someone is prepared to insult one group to win favour with another they haven't really thought about what they're saying.
It's like the common view stated on here that beautiful people have ugly personalities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but thats cos theres only 1 woman who was customised for me
What if her arm falls off or something?
Gorilla glue
Perfecto
blue peter badge for me woo hoo
Scouts badge!akila we will do our best
Cubs do your best
We will do our best"
To serve the queen and to keep the brownie guide law. I still remember all that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I a!ways think that if someone is prepared to insult one group to win favour with another they haven't really thought about what they're saying.
It's like the common view stated on here that beautiful people have ugly personalities. "
And I’m living proof that people can have both a beautiful personality and be beautiful |
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"I a!ways think that if someone is prepared to insult one group to win favour with another they haven't really thought about what they're saying.
It's like the common view stated on here that beautiful people have ugly personalities.
And I’m living proof that people can have both a beautiful personality and be beautiful "
Me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep but thats cos theres only 1 woman who was customised for me
What if her arm falls off or something?
Gorilla glue
Perfecto
blue peter badge for me woo hoo
Scouts badge!akila we will do our best
Cubs do your best
We will do our best
To serve the queen and to keep the brownie guide law. I still remember all that "
them was the days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh this bugs the life out of me on here! I don’t understand it at all. If anyone gets to the bottom of it please let me know..... "
It is pretty simple. What happens to you is 10%. How you react to it is 90%. If a d*unk guy calls you stupid, is it because you are stupid or is it because he is d*unk.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh this bugs the life out of me on here! I don’t understand it at all. If anyone gets to the bottom of it please let me know.....
It is pretty simple. What happens to you is 10%. How you react to it is 90%. If a d*unk guy calls you stupid, is it because you are stupid or is it because he is d*unk. "
Oops meant d*unk. Fat fingers! |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I a!ways think that if someone is prepared to insult one group to win favour with another they haven't really thought about what they're saying.
It's like the common view stated on here that beautiful people have ugly personalities.
And I’m living proof that people can have both a beautiful personality and be beautiful "
And I'm living proof that you can gave a beautiful personality and be .......errrrrrm........average in looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer parsnips to carrots.
Actually I don't like carrots.
However.. I'm aware that just because I'm not a fan of carrots, carrots are still great veggies that others really enjoy and get essential vitamins from. I ain't gonna put a carrot down as it has it's worth, which although I might not personally partake in, I appreciate its value. I'll just have an extra parsnip on my plate instead please.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you can state this without putting down.
like saying "i like men/women with brown eyes as it's my personal preference and weakness"
if you say "i like real women/men" you are using your preference to state all others are fake. It's in the wording i believe. you don't have to belittle or dismiss one to express your preferred choice for another. |
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Think that's the point of this place though isn't it to find people who find you attractive. If a man prefers a slim lady then I'm clearly not for them. There isn't a need for them to call me a lardy cow to make the slim women fancy them more, does that even work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for "
Tbf, blokes normally have a lot thicker skin than women and need to do so on Fab. This was probably just assumed of him.
Though I imagine everyone likes "real women" over those that aren't? I'd rather fuck one than a mannequin, that's for sure.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
Tbf, blokes normally have a lot thicker skin than women and need to do so on Fab. This was probably just assumed of him.
Though I imagine everyone likes "real women" over those that aren't? I'd rather fuck one than a mannequin, that's for sure.
B"
Nah I messaged him coz he was being properly bullied. |
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"I prefer parsnips to carrots.
Actually I don't like carrots.
However.. I'm aware that just because I'm not a fan of carrots, carrots are still great veggies that others really enjoy and get essential vitamins from. I ain't gonna put a carrot down as it has it's worth, which although I might not personally partake in, I appreciate its value. I'll just have an extra parsnip on my plate instead please.
P"
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
Tbf, blokes normally have a lot thicker skin than women and need to do so on Fab. This was probably just assumed of him.
Though I imagine everyone likes "real women" over those that aren't? I'd rather fuck one than a mannequin, that's for sure.
B"
I am sure there must be at least a few on here that would prefer a latex doll though?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men probably, but a lot of the time I don’t think people really intend to offend. Like the man who commented I like “real women” on a thread once. People really jumped on him, he was so upset and actually deleted his account. He’s not been on fab long. It was so uncalled for
Tbf, blokes normally have a lot thicker skin than women and need to do so on Fab. This was probably just assumed of him.
Though I imagine everyone likes "real women" over those that aren't? I'd rather fuck one than a mannequin, that's for sure.
B
Nah I messaged him coz he was being properly bullied. "
It will be standard to some extent. In a lot of ways, Fab is like children were raised in the 50s in the sense that girls were taught to be dependant and encouraged to seek protection (from a spouse as early as possible) whereas a lot of young boys were handed boxing gloves and told to get in the ring to toughen them up? A lad picked on would be told to "Punch back". It's a strange situation in such a liberated pursuit, but I imagine it will be the opposite on relationship sites if they have their own forums;
Men may be defended to the hilt by vocal "White Amazon" women, whereas women will get hounded left right and centre? Not condoning either, but it will happen and be quite widely accepted.
Learning to deal with this is part of a single man's Fab education really, unfair though it is.
B |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Dont think I've ever praised someone by comparing them to others, or would.
A compliment should be a compliment, based on what you like about someone, not what you dislike about others.
PS great boobs Queen  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dont think I've ever praised someone by comparing them to others, or would.
A compliment should be a compliment, based on what you like about someone, not what you dislike about others.
PS great boobs Queen "
Thanks buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh this bugs the life out of me on here! I don’t understand it at all. If anyone gets to the bottom of it please let me know.....
It is pretty simple. What happens to you is 10%. How you react to it is 90%. If a d*unk guy calls you stupid, is it because you are stupid or is it because he is d*unk. "
Erm. Ok... but that isn’t really what I meant. I meant I don’t understand people who are unable to express a liking without insulting those they don’t like. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Dont think I've ever praised someone by comparing them to others, or would.
A compliment should be a compliment, based on what you like about someone, not what you dislike about others.
PS great boobs Queen
Thanks buddy "
No worries your majesty (bows politely while trying to sneak a look at her sexy arse too) |
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You know one I particularly cannot abide.
People who say crude things about ladies with external labia. One of the one things a lady can’t really do anything about unless you have a spare few grand for private surgery.
I’d be delighted to be invited to any kind of vagina.
God bless vaginas, one and all xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know one I particularly cannot abide.
People who say crude things about ladies with external labia. One of the one things a lady can’t really do anything about unless you have a spare few grand for private surgery.
I’d be delighted to be invited to any kind of vagina.
God bless vaginas, one and all xx
"
bow to the minge flaps fuckers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know one I particularly cannot abide.
People who say crude things about ladies with external labia. One of the one things a lady can’t really do anything about unless you have a spare few grand for private surgery.
I’d be delighted to be invited to any kind of vagina.
God bless vaginas, one and all xx
bow to the minge flaps fuckers"
Did you understand anything in this thread? |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
I think men do it more, but are often just thoughtless rather than meaning to cause offence. On the other hand there are also some women who I think take a bit too much pleasure in expressing outrage at any comment they find even remotely negative about their body shape or size. |
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Its possible if people take the time to think before they communicate. Expressing a preference, which can include a compliment, does not have to mean that this is a universal truth, nor a relative superiority. Its a solitary perspective, reflective of just their taste. |
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