Actually, I do have a funny story:
Earlier this year, after sitting on a train for a fairly lengthy journey, I had built up rather painful wind.
Now I’m a highly cultured fellow and not given to coarse acts of arse gas expulsion in public. Ahem.
...Anyway, when I finally got off the train in the tiny station, I decided that it really NEEDED to come out however....
I looked around firstly - the coast was clear, so I proceeded to let rip with a mighty fart of ages of some not inconsiderable seismic note (probably a proud three on the Richter scale by my reckoning) - in fact so powerful and loud was this thunderous fart that songs will doubtless be sung of it by future generations in years to come.
Anyway, having regained my balance, I looked around......
There was a woman standing about ten feet away from me!!!! Where the hell she appeared from, I know not but there was no way to cover my eternal guilt nor was my trusty dog present to blame it on so I promptly left the crime scene in haste |
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On my stag weekend I was given a list of tasks to complete. One of them was to clear an area of a restaurant by farting. The organisers fed me several tins of spicy baked beans but sadly I couldn't achieve my objective.
Another task was to get a tattoo. I decided to get one in the least conspicuous place possible - the base of my foot. I lay flat out with my leg raised while the lady got to work. It was then that the beans kicked in. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Welsh Lass |
The lady I share my office with often gets windy and she gets up from her chair to hurry to the toilet and starts fluffing. Then she starts laughing causing the fluffs to go in time to her laughing. And this carries on till she reaches the toilet.
This happens at least once a month. Good job they don’t smell else I’d be asking for a pay rise
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As part of my job I occasionally have to spend a day tasting ingredients.
It's normally ok, but the days I spend on whey or soy protein powders or crispies leave me farty for a couple of days.
It's pretty grim, but at least they aren't stinky.
I have to work from home after pea protein days though |
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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago
Harringay |
I fart in public all the time, its the way I was raised. I do pilates once a week with a group. Never heard so many women farting in one room. And looks everyone gives each with expressions of denial and trying not laugh. Usually Im the only man there and have been blame. It happened once when I first started but have since learned to make adjustments so looks like im trying to stretch out a leg cramp. |
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