FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A question for all sapiosexuals!
A question for all sapiosexuals!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Someone suggested that I may be a sapiosexual! So my question to you all is, when was the first time intelligence affected your decision to date someone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To date someone and to meet for sex is different, OP 
Is it really?  "
Not for me it isn’t. Dating has to grow from something doesn’t it? I appreciate all intelligences in people. I’m not too keen on IQ as it’s bollocks, but do like a man/woman with practical, emotional, social and/or intercultural intelligence  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To date someone and to meet for sex is different, OP
Is it really?
Not for me it isn’t. Dating has to grow from something doesn’t it? I appreciate all intelligences in people. I’m not too keen on IQ as it’s bollocks, but do like a man/woman with practical, emotional, social and/or intercultural intelligence "
Agree. Who would want to shag Steve Jobs? He was smart, but not smart enough to understand people and relationships.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To date someone and to meet for sex is different, OP
Is it really?
Not for me it isn’t. Dating has to grow from something doesn’t it? I appreciate all intelligences in people. I’m not too keen on IQ as it’s bollocks, but do like a man/woman with practical, emotional, social and/or intercultural intelligence
Agree. Who would want to shag Steve Jobs? He was smart, but not smart enough to understand people and relationships. "
Money is the greatest sexual attraction for many a fool.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
"
I am impressed! Great to hear.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The art of good conversation; the ability to reads people and situations; understand diverse aspects from a worldly perspective; is fairly fundamental to me, and it's been this way all my life."
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
"
I may appreciate good looks but that won't go anywhere on its own. I've found amazing chemistry on here with people where the photos came way down the line and frankly it didn't matter; the pic was purely for identification purposes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
"
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them "
As you know, a purely sexual connection is different. You have read and commented on numerous threads where people have clearly stated that what they look for on fab for a sexual connection is different to what they look for in an outside of fab connection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them
As you know, a purely sexual connection is different. You have read and commented on numerous threads where people have clearly stated that what they look for on fab for a sexual connection is different to what they look for in an outside of fab connection."
i can't see the difference we are all sexual beings thats the life process, if a person approaches you straight off the bat sexually you delete them if they did that in a bar you'd slap them so transversely if they approach you in an adult appealing manner you interact the same as you would in the library or on the bus or at the hotel bar, it takes time to get to the act of sex but it really ultimately is never just about sex its about people interacting and how they interact, this is life not a club full of special people although some are more special than others  |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
To be honest its looks that create the first spark, but if the person I'm speaking / chatting to is as dumb as a log, then spark will not lead to a fire.
And I suppose (as it's never happened), if I got an intelligent first message from someone on here then the chat would create the first spark and the looks would be secondary.
Sorry no help i suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does look give you a harder erection than words ?
If not, then you are a sapiophile. "
you are the exception to every rule, i we t in Aldi and lidls last night and Aldi wins hands down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does look give you a harder erection than words ?
If not, then you are a sapiophile. you are the exception to every rule, i we t in Aldi and lidls last night and Aldi wins hands down "
went |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does look give you a harder erection than words ?
If not, then you are a sapiophile. you are the exception to every rule, i we t in Aldi and lidls last night and Aldi wins hands down "
You are welcome xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest its looks that create the first spark, but if the person I'm speaking / chatting to is as dumb as a log, then spark will not lead to a fire.
And I suppose (as it's never happened), if I got an intelligent first message from someone on here then the chat would create the first spark and the looks would be secondary.
Sorry no help i suppose "
It does makes sense. I am enjoying this discussion. Better than staring into 100's of pussies and bobbies for sure!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them
As you know, a purely sexual connection is different. You have read and commented on numerous threads where people have clearly stated that what they look for on fab for a sexual connection is different to what they look for in an outside of fab connection.i can't see the difference we are all sexual beings thats the life process, if a person approaches you straight off the bat sexually you delete them if they did that in a bar you'd slap them so transversely if they approach you in an adult appealing manner you interact the same as you would in the library or on the bus or at the hotel bar, it takes time to get to the act of sex but it really ultimately is never just about sex its about people interacting and how they interact, this is life not a club full of special people although some are more special than others "
You can believe that but most people I've spoken to over the years of being on here and reading forum posts on the subject say the opposite and on here play by a totally different ball game in attraction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is also a huge difference in how a single person would choose someone versus someone in a couple. That’s my experience anyway... the hurdle for 1:1 play is much higher than choosing someone to join you and your partner as certain needs are already met.
There are a lot of variations here really and no two people are the same in there selection. People throw terminology around all the time but it’s always open to interpretation really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is also a huge difference in how a single person would choose someone versus someone in a couple. That’s my experience anyway... the hurdle for 1:1 play is much higher than choosing someone to join you and your partner as certain needs are already met.
There are a lot of variations here really and no two people are the same in there selection. People throw terminology around all the time but it’s always open to interpretation really. "
Their* dammit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I met someone last week when I was in Sydney. Good looking lady. You can call her a Milf. A typical trophy wife. But she could not hold a conversation. All she wanted to know was, how am I going to ravish her. I told her that I don't have a clue as action speaks louder than words. It all depends on chemistry and connection. That happens through great conversation.
Anyways, she thought I was a dork! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence "
They are not mutually exclusive, and I'd disagree that you'd find reference to aesthetics in a definition of 'sapiosexual'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence
They are not mutually exclusive, and I'd disagree that you'd find reference to aesthetics in a definition of 'sapiosexual'. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To call myself sapiosexual would just seem too pretentious and immodest for my taste"
It's what you find arousing in others; the term makes no reference to your own attributes |
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"To call myself sapiosexual would just seem too pretentious and immodest for my taste
It's what you find arousing in others; the term makes no reference to your own attributes"
It's rather reciprocal with implications though
Not many who do not consider themselves knowledgable and articulate would request that from a sexual companion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them
As you know, a purely sexual connection is different. You have read and commented on numerous threads where people have clearly stated that what they look for on fab for a sexual connection is different to what they look for in an outside of fab connection.i can't see the difference we are all sexual beings thats the life process, if a person approaches you straight off the bat sexually you delete them if they did that in a bar you'd slap them so transversely if they approach you in an adult appealing manner you interact the same as you would in the library or on the bus or at the hotel bar, it takes time to get to the act of sex but it really ultimately is never just about sex its about people interacting and how they interact, this is life not a club full of special people although some are more special than others
You can believe that but most people I've spoken to over the years of being on here and reading forum posts on the subject say the opposite and on here play by a totally different ball game in attraction "
lol so youre saying they would have sex with someone they are not attracted to |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"To be honest its looks that create the first spark, but if the person I'm speaking / chatting to is as dumb as a log, then spark will not lead to a fire.
And I suppose (as it's never happened), if I got an intelligent first message from someone on here then the chat would create the first spark and the looks would be secondary.
Sorry no help i suppose
It does makes sense. I am enjoying this discussion. Better than staring into 100's of pussies and bobbies for sure!
"
A good discussion is always fun; it also gets the blood flowing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
the people here are the people out there this is just an app to connect you with them
As you know, a purely sexual connection is different. You have read and commented on numerous threads where people have clearly stated that what they look for on fab for a sexual connection is different to what they look for in an outside of fab connection.i can't see the difference we are all sexual beings thats the life process, if a person approaches you straight off the bat sexually you delete them if they did that in a bar you'd slap them so transversely if they approach you in an adult appealing manner you interact the same as you would in the library or on the bus or at the hotel bar, it takes time to get to the act of sex but it really ultimately is never just about sex its about people interacting and how they interact, this is life not a club full of special people although some are more special than others
You can believe that but most people I've spoken to over the years of being on here and reading forum posts on the subject say the opposite and on here play by a totally different ball game in attraction lol so youre saying they would have sex with someone they are not attracted to "
Please read thread because that has never been mentioned, discussions are fantastic but saying things to illicit a reaction just get boring! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do find intelligence an attractive quality but it needs to be combined with physical attraction for a winning combination. "
Well, we will have to agree to disagree on that.
Please explain what physical attraction means?   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do find intelligence an attractive quality but it needs to be combined with physical attraction for a winning combination.
Well, we will have to agree to disagree on that.
Please explain what physical attraction means? "
It doesn't matter how smart, articulate, witty and well informed you are if I don't also fancy the pants off you. |
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It always has. I'm not so bothered about someone being typically book smart but they need to have a level of depth to them for me to find them attractive. People who are curious, considered and philosophical. Someone I can discuss current topics with who actually has an opinion. Personally I need an element of this for sex to not feel somewhat empty and flat as the people who's mind I fancy as the ones I hunger for the most. |
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"Someone suggested that I may be a sapiosexual! So my question to you all is, when was the first time intelligence affected your decision to date someone? "
Always. Intelligence is one of the biggest turn on's! Smart is sexy! |
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"Someone suggested that I may be a sapiosexual! So my question to you all is, when was the first time intelligence affected your decision to date someone?
Always. Intelligence is one of the biggest turn on's! Smart is sexy! "
Define smart |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I do find intelligence an attractive quality but it needs to be combined with physical attraction for a winning combination.
Well, we will have to agree to disagree on that.
Please explain what physical attraction means?
It doesn't matter how smart, articulate, witty and well informed you are if I don't also fancy the pants off you. "
Exactly!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to be attracted to people on pretty much the same wavelength as me whatever that may be. I don’t meet for just sex so it has never been just about looks for me. Not sure how you define intelligent but if someone can’t string a sentence together or have a decent conversation or have terrible grammar and punctuation they won’t be for me. Intelligence comes in all different forms. There are people on here who purposefully come across as a bit dumb but are in fact very intelligent people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to be attracted to people on pretty much the same wavelength as me whatever that may be. I don’t meet for just sex so it has never been just about looks for me. Not sure how you define intelligent but if someone can’t string a sentence together or have a decent conversation or have terrible grammar and punctuation they won’t be for me. Intelligence comes in all different forms. There are people on here who purposefully come across as a bit dumb but are in fact very intelligent people. "
woah woah woah stop giving the game away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to be attracted to people on pretty much the same wavelength as me whatever that may be. I don’t meet for just sex so it has never been just about looks for me. Not sure how you define intelligent but if someone can’t string a sentence together or have a decent conversation or have terrible grammar and punctuation they won’t be for me. Intelligence comes in all different forms. There are people on here who purposefully come across as a bit dumb but are in fact very intelligent people. woah woah woah stop giving the game away "
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"If someone is intelligent it’s very hot. However I do agree with above that fucking and dating is different "
As you generalize and suggest
Intelligence is hot
I'd suggest charisma is often hot and that can be an expression of intelligence but not necessarily so
I'm sure we could all highlight a particular mathematician who most would term intelligent yet 4 minutes of their time would cause rigamortice
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
The problem with this thread, and countless similar threads, is that it tries to reduce people to just one particular aspect of who they are.
I find different people are attractive for a multitude of reasons and a reductionist approach will not help in analysing any sort of pattern. People are far more complex and wonderful for any of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem with this thread, and countless similar threads, is that it tries to reduce people to just one particular aspect of who they are.
I find different people are attractive for a multitude of reasons and a reductionist approach will not help in analysing any sort of pattern. People are far more complex and wonderful for any of that. "
I agree wholeheartedly with that - the main reason for me being on fab is that I know whoever I am lucky enough to meet will be as sexually liberated as I am but I still need to find them attractive and a big part of that is being able to have in depth conversation as well as moments of silliness.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough.... "
Yes! That’s what I think but couldn’t think how to put it. I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes a big leap to believe that anyone else on the planet is smarter or better than you. I don't think the majority of ppl are capable of getting there completely..... |
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"Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough.... "
I'm pretentious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough....
I'm pretentious "
Adorably mischievous maybe....  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough....
I'm pretentious "
Ditto. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most ppl who say "I am this" or "I've been told I am that" usually aren't this or that in my experience. HOWEVER, pretentious ppl never say they're pretentious or they've been told they're pretentious oddly enough....
I'm pretentious
Ditto. "
Ditt-fucking-O to you too..... ....and no way could you be described as pretentious |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch). |
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"The problem with this thread, and countless similar threads, is that it tries to reduce people to just one particular aspect of who they are.
I find different people are attractive for a multitude of reasons and a reductionist approach will not help in analysing any sort of pattern. People are far more complex and wonderful for any of that. "
This ^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch)."
Helibeb......
Is there a song? |
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"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch)."
I agree
Ooooo
Molybdenum
It could get rather hot |
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"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch)."
Personally the main label I identify with is demisexual. I've heard people say similar things about that being a buzzword or the latest fad. The thing is I've never really experienced instant physical attraction to anyone or ever fancied a celebrity. I thought I was asexual for a bit in high school. I know some get annoyed at all the new labels but for me it helped me to understand myself better to find a definition I related to in a world where I didn't really relate to a lot of people. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch).
Helibeb......
Is there a song?"
It's only one of the greatest songs ever!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cfju6GTNs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch).
Helibeb......
Is there a song?
It's only one of the greatest songs ever!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cfju6GTNs
"
It's not evem in order! Thats just dirty!!! |
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"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch)."
I agree. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Personally the main label I identify with is demisexual. I've heard people say similar things about that being a buzzword or the latest fad. The thing is I've never really experienced instant physical attraction to anyone or ever fancied a celebrity. I thought I was asexual for a bit in high school. I know some get annoyed at all the new labels but for me it helped me to understand myself better to find a definition I related to in a world where I didn't really relate to a lot of people."
I'm not annoyed at the label - far from it. I'm using it as the very literal definition of being a word that gains popularity in a short period of time. Do I think that it's possibly overused at times? Yes. On the other hand I think terms that help you find your tribe are a great thing. I identify as pansexual and fuck knows the derision that term has received. I've also started coming to terms with another label and while I dislike labelling every aspect of me (because I'm more than that etc) it's helping me connect with wonderful people and find resources to understand it fully.
I'm clearly in two minds about it and stream of consciousnessing it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being slightly serious, I do think sapiosexual is a bit of a buzzword. Yes, I like people who display curiosity and are open to engaging with a myriad of topics. I enjoy people who can challenge their way of thinking and others and can make me laugh with witty retorts. Similar to Vine though, it's only one small piece of the bigger picture for me though. Attraction is far more nuanced to me than getting wet because someone can recite great soliloquies to me (although if you want to duet with me on the Periodic Table song, get in touch).
Helibeb......
Is there a song?
It's only one of the greatest songs ever!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U2cfju6GTNs
It's not evem in order! Thats just dirty!!! "
Even* |
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"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
I do not have to. I just avoid them. "
For the benefit of the thread its reasonable to establish what is considered intelligence and what is not
Unless we are saying they are both arbitrary and subjective
I'll ask again what would you consider stupid |
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"Ive decided i prefer stupid men
Theyre more easily manipulated
Maybe its time to change my username"
That's unfair I'd suggest most men are easy to manipulate I would not suggest as many are stupid ? |
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"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
I do not have to. I just avoid them.
For the benefit of the thread its reasonable to establish what is considered intelligence and what is not
Unless we are saying they are both arbitrary and subjective
I'll ask again what would you consider stupid "
We are not at a police interrogation.
And yes, it is all purely arbitrary and subjective. |
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"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
I do not have to. I just avoid them.
For the benefit of the thread its reasonable to establish what is considered intelligence and what is not
Unless we are saying they are both arbitrary and subjective
I'll ask again what would you consider stupid
We are not at a police interrogation.
And yes, it is all purely arbitrary and subjective."
Its not a police investigation its a debate
And for an informed intelligent articulate debate establishing agreed definition for words used is a way to progress the debate 
We are discussing intelligence
Many people define intelligence differently establishing exactly what another means avoids ambiguity and misundertanding |
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"Someone suggested that I may be a sapiosexual! So my question to you all is, when was the first time intelligence affected your decision to date someone? "
Fairly sure my decisions on dating women have been based equally on looks and intelligence 50:50.
However ,am also worryingly confident that anyone elses decision to date me ,have a relationship etc were not evaluated using the same ratio |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid"
You keep asking that, OP. A dictionary (or Google, for that matter) does an excellent job of defining commonly used words. |
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"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
You keep asking that, OP. A dictionary (or Google, for that matter) does an excellent job of defining commonly used words. "
Yes because not many will AGREE on that definition
I struggle to spell am I stupid
I know pi to 10 decimal places intelligent ?
I speak French, intelligent?
I can't write, stupid ?
Often it could be articulated that a person's opinion regarding anothers intelligence or stupidity is not based upon any oed definition rather that the two people sharing an accord on opinions and ideas
She he is clever or stupid because
They agree or disagree
Is knowledge intelligence or reasoning power a blend of both ?
I could suggest if a person is not aware of the
What is intelligence debate and why my question is both necessary and poignant they may not be intelligent enough to participate in such a subtle nuanced debate  however that would not be how I'd assess intelligence or compatibility xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
You keep asking that, OP. A dictionary (or Google, for that matter) does an excellent job of defining commonly used words. "
I don't remember asking that question! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It always does. Stupid people are annoying and I cannot be sexually aroused if I am annoyed.
Define stupid
You keep asking that, OP. A dictionary (or Google, for that matter) does an excellent job of defining commonly used words.
I don't remember asking that question! "
Mistaken identity; my apologies. SensualTouch was the repeat offender (visually similar profile photos... ) |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Someone suggested that I may be a sapiosexual! So my question to you all is, when was the first time intelligence affected your decision to date someone? "
From day 1 - when I realised I dont get any pleasure out of having sex with a person who is not on my wave length.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it. "
Are you saying I'm smart then my love...? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
"
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past. "
Wow, so interesting... |
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it. "
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Are you saying I'm smart then my love...?"
And sexy. All in one.
Ps. Let’s not hijack anyone else’s thread with the flirting ... we gonna get ourselves in trouble |
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"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past. "
That's really interesting, clearly you're drawn to intelligence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain "
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past.
That's really interesting, clearly you're drawn to intelligence"
You know, I think I really am. I am not saying physical attraction is not important and like most people, I have been on a "journey"(Hate that word lol) over the past few years but I have arrived at the conclusion that an intelligent person who is on my wave length, be they male, female or anyhting in between fascinate me and that can spill over into a sort of sexual attraction if that makes sense? |
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life "
Snap me too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past.
That's really interesting, clearly you're drawn to intelligenceYou know, I think I really am. I am not saying physical attraction is not important and like most people, I have been on a "journey"(Hate that word lol) over the past few years but I have arrived at the conclusion that an intelligent person who is on my wave length, be they male, female or anyhting in between fascinate me and that can spill over into a sort of sexual attraction if that makes sense?"
It does. Very interesting stuff |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life "
That is hysterical... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life
Snap me too "
We are true soul sisters |
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"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past.
That's really interesting, clearly you're drawn to intelligenceYou know, I think I really am. I am not saying physical attraction is not important and like most people, I have been on a "journey"(Hate that word lol) over the past few years but I have arrived at the conclusion that an intelligent person who is on my wave length, be they male, female or anyhting in between fascinate me and that can spill over into a sort of sexual attraction if that makes sense?"
Yes that totally makes sense to me. Being on the same wavelength is critical to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life That is hysterical... "
More of a curse, really.... |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life
Snap me too
We are true soul sisters "
|
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Surely if someone was truly a sapiosexual then gender etc wouldn't be a factor? As it is intelligence that they find arousing?
Actually I think you really do have a point. I am very straight but I have found myself drawn to very intelligent women in the past.
That's really interesting, clearly you're drawn to intelligenceYou know, I think I really am. I am not saying physical attraction is not important and like most people, I have been on a "journey"(Hate that word lol) over the past few years but I have arrived at the conclusion that an intelligent person who is on my wave length, be they male, female or anyhting in between fascinate me and that can spill over into a sort of sexual attraction if that makes sense?
Yes that totally makes sense to me. Being on the same wavelength is critical to me."
|
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life
Snap me too
We are true soul sisters "
Haha I'll have to call you Dr now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
I ca relate. I have 3 uni degrees inc a PhD but I experience horrendously “blonde” moments all the time. Genuinely not sure how I made this far in life
Snap me too
We are true soul sisters
Haha I'll have to call you Dr now "
Likewise, Doc!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain "
You have an awesome brain! |
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain! "
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden"
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx"
That sounded awful, I meant like a beautiful creature.... |
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx
That sounded awful, I meant like a beautiful creature.... "
It's all good |
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"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx
That sounded awful, I meant like a beautiful creature....
It's all good"
For those identifying as sapiosexual .... how does this ‘intelligence’ manifest itself? A list of post nominals? The ability to converse? To be able to debate current political thinking without tabloid influence? To show empathy? To have the ability to create ‘stuff’ above the standard of peers? To be able to interact socially at all levels? To be up ones own arse? .... I know many people who I deem intelligent but they are, largely, those who are a well rounded in terms of ability though there are those who are magnificent within their niche. I am attracted to attractiveness as I see it, when I see (and experience it) with no preconceived ideas! |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
Intelligence is contextual to me, you can be excellent at psychoanalysing people and accommodating their needs through it but lack any form of common sense... equally you can have plenty of common sense but lack the ability to form a well informed decision. I guess the attraction on my part comes from someone’s ability to listen and to take things on board as well as being as open as possible so I can understand them even if through demeanour above their vocabulary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx
That sounded awful, I meant like a beautiful creature....
It's all good
For those identifying as sapiosexual .... how does this ‘intelligence’ manifest itself? A list of post nominals? The ability to converse? To be able to debate current political thinking without tabloid influence? To show empathy? To have the ability to create ‘stuff’ above the standard of peers? To be able to interact socially at all levels? To be up ones own arse? .... I know many people who I deem intelligent but they are, largely, those who are a well rounded in terms of ability though there are those who are magnificent within their niche. I am attracted to attractiveness as I see it, when I see (and experience it) with no preconceived ideas! "
I’m not sure why you quoted me here in this comment as I did quite clearly say I *don’t* identify as sapiosexual because I don’t know enough about the definition to know one way or another. However intelligence is a huge part of my attraction to a person and I define this in a number of ways, mostly in terms of social and emotional intelligence, but not in a preconceived way. Also, “being up their own arse” is to me a complete turn off, and in no way indicative of intelligence. In fact, I see it as the opposite. I suppose you get a hint of whether you’re intellectually on the same wave length as someone from the way they put themselves across in a message on here, but an interaction in person obviously reveals so much more about a person ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not familiar with the true definition of sapiosexual and whether I am one; but I know that intelligence has always affected my attraction to a person and decision about whether to date them. In fact it’s a huge part of it.
Being able to debate with me is important to me. Can't say if I'm intelligent or not tbh. Cause I can be totally dim on occasions but I have bits of paper that say that I have a brain
You have an awesome brain!
Thank you, sometimes it's well hidden
Always visible to me you gorgeous creature xx
That sounded awful, I meant like a beautiful creature....
It's all good
For those identifying as sapiosexual .... how does this ‘intelligence’ manifest itself? A list of post nominals? The ability to converse? To be able to debate current political thinking without tabloid influence? To show empathy? To have the ability to create ‘stuff’ above the standard of peers? To be able to interact socially at all levels? To be up ones own arse? .... I know many people who I deem intelligent but they are, largely, those who are a well rounded in terms of ability though there are those who are magnificent within their niche. I am attracted to attractiveness as I see it, when I see (and experience it) with no preconceived ideas!
I’m not sure why you quoted me here in this comment as I did quite clearly say I *don’t* identify as sapiosexual because I don’t know enough about the definition to know one way or another. However intelligence is a huge part of my attraction to a person and I define this in a number of ways, mostly in terms of social and emotional intelligence, but not in a preconceived way. Also, “being up their own arse” is to me a complete turn off, and in no way indicative of intelligence. In fact, I see it as the opposite. I suppose you get a hint of whether you’re intellectually on the same wave length as someone from the way they put themselves across in a message on here, but an interaction in person obviously reveals so much more about a person ... "
i quote you cos youre a sexy woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sapiophile literally means that the other persons looks are inconsequential over intelligence (it's the intelligence that turns you on regardless of looks), not sure fab is the right place to ask that because on here works differently to outside fab life.
Yes, lots (not all) of people on here like an intelligent connection but will say it's looks that first attract.
I may appreciate good looks but that won't go anywhere on its own. I've found amazing chemistry on here with people where the photos came way down the line and frankly it didn't matter; the pic was purely for identification purposes."
This i need to be able to connect more than the looks i like to have conversation as well as great sex, too many think if they look good thats enough, but in reality awkward silences just make a meet uncomfortable and weird once the sex is over and it (in my experience) has been unfulfilling, so i prefer someone with a bit up top about them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can be heavily attracted to someone who I can talk to about the geopolitical climate of the Chinese regime or someone who can banter on about south park or just be attracted for no other good reason but a nice smile.
Intelligence, like perfection, is perceived. Don't limit yourself to convenient molds to justify your cravings.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I was as smart, clever and attractive as I would like to think I am, I wonder if I would still be here? Going for a lie down now as my heads beginning to hurt |
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I wouldn't say I was a sapiosexual, but there have definitely been occasions when I have enjoyed chatting with people and having discussions on a multitude of subjects, but declined a meet because there was no physical attraction.
Conversely, I have also declined meets with people that I found extremely attractive physically, but who I didn't feel were on the same wavelength with regards to vocabulary and communication. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Conversely, I have also declined meets with people that I found extremely attractive physically, but who I didn't feel were on the same wavelength with regards to vocabulary and communication."
You're such a snob Lily. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I don't deny that there are people who find intelligence attractive and prize it higher than other attributes. I also think that it can be used as a slightly arrogant term to convey that the user considers themselves better than others. As a result I'm mildly wary of those that call themselves one.
Personally I do find intelligence attractive, it's only one aspect that I look for though. |
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"I wouldn't say I was a sapiosexual, but there have definitely been occasions when I have enjoyed chatting with people and having discussions on a multitude of subjects, but declined a meet because there was no physical attraction.
Conversely, I have also declined meets with people that I found extremely attractive physically, but who I didn't feel were on the same wavelength with regards to vocabulary and communication."
I think you make my point beautifully
It's not intelligence per se it is wavelength or rapport
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"I don't deny that there are people who find intelligence attractive and prize it higher than other attributes. I also think that it can be used as a slightly arrogant term to convey that the user considers themselves better than others. As a result I'm mildly wary of those that call themselves one.
Personally I do find intelligence attractive, it's only one aspect that I look for though. "
Agreed. The whole thing makes me cringe a bit, even though yes, it probably does describe me. |
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Thank heavens it's not just about looks! Or I'd be sunk! I'm not ugly by any means, but a little past my best. However I can hold a decent conversation and be reasonably entertaining which means that luckily I do get some meets! Also I've found dogged persistence pays off.. NOT stalking. but hopefully building a little rapport via some lighthearted chats over a period of time. Which seems to work at least initially to establish a level of compatability and common interests? As I tend to prefer swinging 'relationships'you have to have some compatability out of bed as well as in? I'm looking forward to some ongoing fun with a new lady friend I've just made from outside of the scene
One club trip to date and things are looking promising so far!!! |
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"To date someone and to meet for sex is different, OP
Is it really?
Not for me it isn’t. Dating has to grow from something doesn’t it? I appreciate all intelligences in people. I’m not too keen on IQ as it’s bollocks, but do like a man/woman with practical, emotional, social and/or intercultural intelligence "
So why aren't you talking to me?????????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me intelligence Is a big turn on. If you know something of literature, art, politics, science then I'm going to enjoy your company and I hope you are going to enjoy mine. |
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