FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Name calling is sexy?
Name calling is sexy?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know some absolutely love degradation as a part of their kinks and fun. If you do, do you assume others like it as well? Would you message someone on here and call them a “whore” “slut” or worse as part of a greeting and expect a positive response? If you like degradation and got a first message that said “hello you sexy whore” would you like that?
Enquiring minds want to know  |
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No
If someone likes to use derogatory and degrading terms them hey, that's their thing
But there shouldn't be an assumption that everyone likes it
I refer to the thread on "gingers"
Red dislikes the term and hates being called it .. but apparently using the term cos you like them isn't offensive
Takes all sorts I guess |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
Gosh no! Degradation is only hot as part of a specific dynamic with someone you know and trust, IMO. It just reads a bit nonsensical, creepy or downright rude if someone didn’t know you and just launched at it. It would also tell me clearly that the person doesn’t grasp the type of power-play that I might find sexy, so we’re not a good fit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't be impressed at all but then again I hate messages from people that call me sweetheart or gorgeous - I may be a little picky??? "
I don’t mind some of the pet names, I dislike baby or just lewdness for an opening message personally, and anything that comes off bossy or presumptive. We can be picky about who we share our bodies and sex with! - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Gosh no! Degradation is only hot as part of a specific dynamic with someone you know and trust, IMO. It just reads a bit nonsensical, creepy or downright rude if someone didn’t know you and just launched at it. It would also tell me clearly that the person doesn’t grasp the type of power-play that I might find sexy, so we’re not a good fit. "
That’s how I feel but I know sometimes I’m a bit prudish(? Never want to say prude as I’m not) and wonder if it’s just me. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Took some practice for me to give it she loves it i didnt dont mind it now"
But you wouldn’t just randomly assume someone else wanted to be spoken to like that, I assume |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Gosh no! Degradation is only hot as part of a specific dynamic with someone you know and trust, IMO. It just reads a bit nonsensical, creepy or downright rude if someone didn’t know you and just launched at it. It would also tell me clearly that the person doesn’t grasp the type of power-play that I might find sexy, so we’re not a good fit.
That’s how I feel but I know sometimes I’m a bit prudish(? Never want to say prude as I’m not) and wonder if it’s just me. Lol "
Not at all. I’m not shocked by its use in opening messages, I just think it’s absolutely naff.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If anyone calls filly a derogatory name and fella hears, someone will soon be booking a dentist appointment. Respect is a very important part of our play. |
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"I'm going to incur the wrath of everyone now but I like a message like that
Makes me feel instantly submissive  "
Why wrath, each to their own
But I guess if people receive a message like that and they just ignore because it's an instant turn off makes them rude on here |
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"I wouldn't be impressed at all but then again I hate messages from people that call me sweetheart or gorgeous - I may be a little picky???
I don’t mind some of the pet names, I dislike baby or just lewdness for an opening message personally, and anything that comes off bossy or presumptive. We can be picky about who we share our bodies and sex with! - Mrs "
I think you've hit the nail on the head for - it's the presumption that I liked to be called anything other than our Fab name or real name. Just kind of rude I think. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I'm going to incur the wrath of everyone now but I like a message like that
Makes me feel instantly submissive "
I can understand what you’re saying, I just find I’m not naturally submissive so can’t and won’t in a global way to anyone based on a word/s they use, but only to specific dynamics with someone once they’ve earned my trust and respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't be impressed at all but then again I hate messages from people that call me sweetheart or gorgeous - I may be a little picky??? "
I hate messages like this. 'Heyyyy sexy' And babe. I think I hate babe the most!
But to the original question, you shouldn't go head first insulting people, you have no idea if they'll appreciate it or not. Easy enough to filter people out though I guess. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
It's the presumptiveness and the sexual familiarity about what I like that I might not have with the person that makes me squick a bit. I enjoy it with very few who I have that dynamic with and even then it's not something I enjoy nor want all the time.
It's a bit "well this is what gets me off so I'm going to call you that regardless of how you might feel. I'm assuming it's a turn on because it is for me". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's the presumptiveness and the sexual familiarity about what I like that I might not have with the person that makes me squick a bit. I enjoy it with very few who I have that dynamic with and even then it's not something I enjoy nor want all the time.
It's a bit "well this is what gets me off so I'm going to call you that regardless of how you might feel. I'm assuming it's a turn on because it is for me"."
That’s it. Thank you for explaining exactly what irritates me about it. It feels invasive because of the presumption. - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm going to incur the wrath of everyone now but I like a message like that
Makes me feel instantly submissive "
You won’t incur a wrath. If you like it, that’s ok, this is why I asked. I wondered what the majority thought. I personally take offence but I’m not at all submissive and get my back up that anyone thinks I am . That is my own baggage as I’ve been forced into roles I didn’t like in a previous life and this is what makes me unsure at times if my reaction is consistent with that of others. . No judgment if you like it at all! |
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"I know some absolutely love degradation as a part of their kinks and fun. If you do, do you assume others like it as well? Would you message someone on here and call them a “whore” “slut” or worse as part of a greeting and expect a positive response? If you like degradation and got a first message that said “hello you sexy whore” would you like that?
Enquiring minds want to know "
Degradation is a fascinating subject, but I go into instant angry mode with my hackles well and truly up when I receive a message like that, so instant block and delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know some absolutely love degradation as a part of their kinks and fun. If you do, do you assume others like it as well? Would you message someone on here and call them a “whore” “slut” or worse as part of a greeting and expect a positive response? If you like degradation and got a first message that said “hello you sexy whore” would you like that?
Enquiring minds want to know "
Personally I would not like it at all. I find the majority (not all) of men on this site disrespectful enough without an initial message like that. I'd block and delete or report and block if I felt it warranted a report. |
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By *adetMan
over a year ago
South of Ipswich |
"I'm going to incur the wrath of everyone now but I like a message like that
Makes me feel instantly submissive
You won’t incur a wrath. If you like it, that’s ok, this is why I asked. I wondered what the majority thought. I personally take offence but I’m not at all submissive and get my back up that anyone thinks I am . That is my own baggage as I’ve been forced into roles I didn’t like in a previous life and this is what makes me unsure at times if my reaction is consistent with that of others. . No judgment if you like it at all! "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know some absolutely love degradation as a part of their kinks and fun. If you do, do you assume others like it as well? Would you message someone on here and call them a “whore” “slut” or worse as part of a greeting and expect a positive response? If you like degradation and got a first message that said “hello you sexy whore” would you like that?
Enquiring minds want to know
Degradation is a fascinating subject, but I go into instant angry mode with my hackles well and truly up when I receive a message like that, so instant block and delete."
So glad it isn’t just me |
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"I know some absolutely love degradation as a part of their kinks and fun. If you do, do you assume others like it as well? Would you message someone on here and call them a “whore” “slut” or worse as part of a greeting and expect a positive response? If you like degradation and got a first message that said “hello you sexy whore” would you like that?
Enquiring minds want to know
Degradation is a fascinating subject, but I go into instant angry mode with my hackles well and truly up when I receive a message like that, so instant block and delete.
So glad it isn’t just me "
I suspect you may be more in the majority than the minority in disliking it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Took some practice for me to give it she loves it i didnt dont mind it now
But you wouldn’t just randomly assume someone else wanted to be spoken to like that, I assume "
noooo its not my natural thing it would be discussed first |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
I get those messages now and again, it doesn't offend me as it's rarely said in an insulting way, they probably like to use those words during sex and don't have the intelligence to realise its not appropriate as a first message. It's an easy delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think I’ve ever used a degrading term when talking to a woman even during sex. I think it shows ignorance when it is used outside of an agreement with the woman, if she enjoys that kind of role play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get those messages now and again, it doesn't offend me as it's rarely said in an insulting way, they probably like to use those words during sex and don't have the intelligence to realise its not appropriate as a first message. It's an easy delete. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be an instant delete., I like degradation but only with someone I trust implicitly. Just because I’m a sub doesn’t mean I allow anyone to behave that way to me. Trust and respect have to be built upon first x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get those messages now and again, it doesn't offend me as it's rarely said in an insulting way, they probably like to use those words during sex and don't have the intelligence to realise its not appropriate as a first message. It's an easy delete. "
It is always an easy delete, I just worried I was being overly something in finding it off putting. We get far worse than I’ve said as an example I was just curious if I was being too prudish in not liking it or finding it rude as a first message.
I know it’s not meant as an insult but they think it’s sexy, but it’s just ignorant I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the presumptiveness and the sexual familiarity about what I like that I might not have with the person that makes me squick a bit. I enjoy it with very few who I have that dynamic with and even then it's not something I enjoy nor want all the time.
*** It's a bit "well this is what gets me off so I'm going to call you that regardless of how you might feel. I'm assuming it's a turn on because it is for me"."
*** Yes this.
I wouldn't call someone else those types of names/ words, unless we had discussed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the presumptiveness and the sexual familiarity about what I like that I might not have with the person that makes me squick a bit. I enjoy it with very few who I have that dynamic with and even then it's not something I enjoy nor want all the time.
*** It's a bit "well this is what gets me off so I'm going to call you that regardless of how you might feel. I'm assuming it's a turn on because it is for me".
"
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally understand that people like to get degraded etc. But I would never text filthy words like that to anyone i didn't know or had not ever chatted with. But I have done in the past to girls who love to be called dirty names during sex. Each to their own |
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- Mrs 