FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The art of conversation
The art of conversation
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I much prefer face to face conversations and I'd like to think I'm OK at holding a conversation. My job involves talking to people from all walks of life about very difficult subjects.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a total chatterbox and I say things straight out.
If I don’t know someone very well I can be shy to start, once I get past that best of luck trying to shut me up 
I can’t remember all of the questions in your post now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty good at banter and chatting, but I'm not great at initiation.
So I'm great with other chatters, have a bit more difficulty with quiet ones. I've noticed I've gotten a lot better than I used to be so good luck keeping me quiet in 40 years!
Oh, and emojis are good. gifs are (if well used) even better. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I talk for a living, conversing with all levels from apprentices to company owners.
I also talk for a hobby.
But, on here, I've yet to send a first message, but I always reply to those I receive. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Once I have made an initial contact and had a reply I do find conversation easier. My issue is that initial contact "
Yes, I get that. Once you've got a positive response you can sort of just go for it and waffle to your heart's content. |
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I find conversation easier on some subjects than others. I do think that in both face to face and written interaction we're dealing with the other person/people's interpretation of what we've said or written rather than our intended meaning and that's where the problems arise rather than the medium of communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I much prefer face to face conversations and I'd like to think I'm OK at holding a conversation. My job involves talking to people from all walks of life about very difficult subjects.
"
Problem is this is the same when you're not on this site. Facebook, whatsapp and all those other platforms leave so much room for interpretation as you cant hear any intonation of the voice. I much prefer a 1-2-1 conversation and see where it leads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a bit of a gab. I've never really had a problem getting on with or chatting to anyone in real life, or finding decent chats on here.
The way people speak to each other on here can make me quite uncomfortable sometimes, there's quite a lot of rudeness  . Probably just how it comes across in text often, but a lot of it is intentional too. It's like people deliberately want to kill every chat which defeats the purpose of a forum.
I love emojis , and exclamation marks! Sorry, not sorry to everyone for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I never shut up 
Whaaaat? You? But I thought you were the shy, retiring type. 
Do you find you're like that when in new situations (thinking of the MLS here)?"
Yes. I talk to anyone and everyone. Often when I’m out my friendliness is mistaken for flirting though. On here also. I love chatting to interesting people even if I’m not interested in meeting them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
Straight up front, tend to talk a lot from the heart and from experiences over the years, I have my own views and not those of others.
How I come across I don't know, that is others to decide. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
"
I think this is spot on.  I often get the urge to clarify/apologise for something I write because I realise that unless people can hear my voice and intended delivery, they add on their own experiences and perception and that might not mirror my intent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoy conversation but I don't like the internet or texting/emails as a medium. It's too easy to get context wrong and hard to maintain a flow, especially when it's apparent that the lady I am chatting to is juggling with more than one conversation simultaneously! I like face to face.. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I’m a total chatterbox and I say things straight out.
If I don’t know someone very well I can be shy to start, once I get past that best of luck trying to shut me up
I can’t remember all of the questions in your post now. "
You have such an easy way of talking to someone that makes someone feel instantly comfortable. I discussed it with a mutual friend recently. Do you find you regret what you say ever?
As far as all my questions go? Fuck it. I literally typed all my thoughts and curiosity down in to a semicoherent text. |
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I enjoy face to face conversations, and will happily chat to anybody.
But i'm not a fan of written messages as a way of chatting as I tend to overthink how things could be interpreted, especially on the forums - I end up deleting and re-writing so many times that the point I was trying to make is no longer relevant as the thread has moved on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1-1 I'm ok. I find I can talk about a variety of subjects but in a group less so. I'm actually painfully shy and have to really push myself to go to events such as the MLS. I sometimes find I end up drinking a little too much for confidence which is a bad move. Yet when I establish a strong friendship with someone they can't shut me up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I much prefer face to face conversations and I'd like to think I'm OK at holding a conversation. My job involves talking to people from all walks of life about very difficult subjects.
"
It is one of these conundrums, If you have ever played Chinese whispers as a kid.
I aways try and stick the spirit of the OP but, emotions, personality mis-interpretation and just simply not reading and understanding (as in profiles also) tend to spike of at tangents and people react to those tangents.
|
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I am a terrible conversationalist I think more than I talk,I have various thoughts on why I'm like that. However I love watching people communicate with each other it fascinates me,unfortunately I don't think people appreciate my earwigging on their conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
I think I’m good at conversing with others. I’m a good listener and can keep the conversation flowing. I’m a bit of a story teller naturally (I do stand up) so enjoy a good chat and love to entertain.
I wouldn’t say I notice a difference when talking to different people. I’m find most people easy to chat to.
I think In the forum and via text in general we are very limited in how we communicate. My intention can be easily lost due to the interpretation by the recipient.
Also not overly a fan of emojis
But that’s just me |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm pretty good at banter and chatting, but I'm not great at initiation.
So I'm great with other chatters, have a bit more difficulty with quiet ones. I've noticed I've gotten a lot better than I used to be so good luck keeping me quiet in 40 years!
Oh, and emojis are good. gifs are (if well used) even better."
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I talk for a living, conversing with all levels from apprentices to company owners.
I also talk for a hobby.
But, on here, I've yet to send a first message, but I always reply to those I receive."
Why haven't you sent one? Yes, I'm much the same at work. I'd go so far as to say communication is vital for my line of work. Probably why I have such an interest in it. |
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"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
I find emojis really helpful on here, tone can be difficult to discern with the written word. I'm very sarcastic naturally but I try to curb that on here as I feel it can come across as mean.
I love to chat and am definitely a stream of consciousness type person! I find people's different viewpoints and experiences fascinating. I find people fascinating in general ??
I don't enjoy those posters who try to shout down others. Isn't debate the point of the forums?
Mrs TMN x |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I find conversation easier on some subjects than others. I do think that in both face to face and written interaction we're dealing with the other person/people's interpretation of what we've said or written rather than our intended meaning and that's where the problems arise rather than the medium of communication."
Yes. It can be really difficult to clearly express what's meant without it being misconstrued. Well, doing so in such a way that people only read what you intended and nothing else. Humour is a minefield for me. |
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"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness.
I find emojis really helpful on here, tone can be difficult to discern with the written word. I'm very sarcastic naturally but I try to curb that on here as I feel it can come across as mean.
I love to chat and am definitely a stream of consciousness type person! I find people's different viewpoints and experiences fascinating. I find people fascinating in general ??
I don't enjoy those posters who try to shout down others. Isn't debate the point of the forums?
Mrs TMN x"
Oh bloody hell. That emoji was meant to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things. "
Wait... What's the best horny emoji, then? |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
I do of course prefer f2f it’s much more personal and you have that eye contact and full on whole body communication when you’re talking to someone which is sooo important. I spend my whole day talking to different people f2f in my job and it’s the thing I love most.
Online when chatting, I write as I speak, I find it the best way to get across what I want to say and how I want to say it. But you know, nothings foolproof it’s not just down to me. Conversation is a 2 way thing and it’s down to the listeners interpretation too.
Lex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do of course prefer f2f it’s much more personal and you have that eye contact and full on whole body communication when you’re talking to someone which is sooo important. I spend my whole day talking to different people f2f in my job and it’s the thing I love most.
Online when chatting, I write as I speak, I find it the best way to get across what I want to say and how I want to say it. But you know, nothings foolproof it’s not just down to me. Conversation is a 2 way thing and it’s down to the listeners interpretation too.
Lex"
Maybe it's because I'm on Fab, but every time I saw f2f I read "female to female".
No complaints. It made the post read very well.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things.
Wait... What's the best horny emoji, then?"
Fist, eggplant, splash.
Pointing finger, okay fingers.
Eggplant, peach.
Devil.
So many options missing on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I think this is spot on. I often get the urge to clarify/apologise for something I write because I realise that unless people can hear my voice and intended delivery, they add on their own experiences and perception and that might not mirror my intent."
Exactly.
Especially if you don't really know someone very well. I'm sure plenty of the things I say people could read thinking I'm full of myself or should be locked away in a secure facility.
They're right on both counts.
P |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm not good at all which is why I keep my replies to most threads short.
Jo.Xx "
You are wonderful to talk to 1 on 1 though. Jo, I enjoy reading your replies. They don't have to be ballads to be good conversation. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"The way people speak to each other on here can make me quite uncomfortable sometimes, there's quite a lot of rudeness . Probably just how it comes across in text often, but a lot of it is intentional too. It's like people deliberately want to kill every chat which defeats the purpose of a forum."
Oh I know. It makes me eyeroll. I like people who can offer differing opinions without shutting another's down. Sometimes people are just twunts. |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
"I do of course prefer f2f it’s much more personal and you have that eye contact and full on whole body communication when you’re talking to someone which is sooo important. I spend my whole day talking to different people f2f in my job and it’s the thing I love most.
Online when chatting, I write as I speak, I find it the best way to get across what I want to say and how I want to say it. But you know, nothings foolproof it’s not just down to me. Conversation is a 2 way thing and it’s down to the listeners interpretation too.
Lex
Maybe it's because I'm on Fab, but every time I saw f2f I read "female to female".
No complaints. It made the post read very well. "
Would make my job even better too |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things.
Wait... What's the best horny emoji, then?
Fist, eggplant, splash.
Pointing finger, okay fingers.
Eggplant, peach.
Devil.
So many options missing on here "
Oh the splash! I had a friend send me a story in emojis detailing his last wank. It was amazing. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I enjoy conversation but I don't like the internet or texting/emails as a medium. It's too easy to get context wrong and hard to maintain a flow, especially when it's apparent that the lady I am chatting to is juggling with more than one conversation simultaneously! I like face to face.."
A skilled conversationalist doesn't let you know they are doing that. But no, I do get it. I like a good flow of conversation and if it feels a bit stunted it becomes a bit too much like hard work and then the question arises - is it even worth it? When do you just give up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The way people speak to each other on here can make me quite uncomfortable sometimes, there's quite a lot of rudeness . Probably just how it comes across in text often, but a lot of it is intentional too. It's like people deliberately want to kill every chat which defeats the purpose of a forum.
Oh I know. It makes me eyeroll. I like people who can offer differing opinions without shutting another's down. Sometimes people are just twunts. "
But isn't that just one of the themes of though, how intent differs from interpretation.  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I enjoy face to face conversations, and will happily chat to anybody.
But i'm not a fan of written messages as a way of chatting as I tend to overthink how things could be interpreted, especially on the forums - I end up deleting and re-writing so many times that the point I was trying to make is no longer relevant as the thread has moved on "
Overthinkers unite! It's difficult to not switch off the ach fuck. Sometimes you should post as you feel at that particular moment. It's more authentic than a carefully curated post and generally people prefer that. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I am a terrible conversationalist I think more than I talk,I have various thoughts on why I'm like that. However I love watching people communicate with each other it fascinates me,unfortunately I don't think people appreciate my earwigging on their conversation."
Do it anyway! I do. The MLS was absolutely brilliant for it - I enjoyed seeing people let their guard down and watching how they interacted/looked at others. It told me far more than words on here can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice topic OP much needed one, essential and elementary to establish connection and helps to connect, however it is widely neglected. I am good in conversation on wider topic but due to lack of command over english language, I don't make it beyond few messages.  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things.
Wait... What's the best horny emoji, then?"
 |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"The way people speak to each other on here can make me quite uncomfortable sometimes, there's quite a lot of rudeness . Probably just how it comes across in text often, but a lot of it is intentional too. It's like people deliberately want to kill every chat which defeats the purpose of a forum.
Oh I know. It makes me eyeroll. I like people who can offer differing opinions without shutting another's down. Sometimes people are just twunts.
But isn't that just one of the themes of though, how intent differs from interpretation. "
Yes. Sometimes I think it's really clear when someone is deliberately being antagonistic though. I do try and give the benefit of the doubt and sometimes message and ask - what did you mean by x y and z? Yep, I'm one of those. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Gifs are fantastic! I'm not sure if it's the atypical in me but sometimes I see emojis and think "well they might mean one thing but that emoji means something else entirely to me". They are good at indicating humour and horniness though, the two most important things.
Wait... What's the best horny emoji, then?
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I much prefer face to face conversations and I'd like to think I'm OK at holding a conversation. My job involves talking to people from all walks of life about very difficult subjects.
"
totally agree with that, it's hard to put feelings into words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is this Sun Tzu's long awaited sequel?  jackie chan wooped his arse"
I think you need to Google him unless it was meant as a joke
I tried reading the art of war once but just skipped to the last page, turns out the butler did it!! |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I find emojis really helpful on here, tone can be difficult to discern with the written word. I'm very sarcastic naturally but I try to curb that on here as I feel it can come across as mean.
I love to chat and am definitely a stream of consciousness type person! I find people's different viewpoints and experiences fascinating. I find people fascinating in general.
Mrs TMN x"
I've fixed it for you in my reply.
If I was to write a reply it would probably be almost identical to this! How do you curb your stream of consciousness so it doesn't become too long, too intense?
My sarcasm and humour is well meaning. It's affectionate teasing. Sadly that can be seen as mean so I do try and explain it a lot or just don't do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not very good at chatting with people I don’t know very well, I tend to overthink and end up writing very short responses which probably seem rude...with people I know very well can’t shut me up though |
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"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
Love chatting to new people, I’ve traveled a lot worked in some unique projects and meeting new people is always good for the soul |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Nice topic OP much needed one, essential and elementary to establish connection and helps to connect, however it is widely neglected. I am good in conversation on wider topic but due to lack of command over english language, I don't make it beyond few messages. "
It can be neglected. The people who enjoy talking always have a way of finding those who enjoy it also. I've spoken to many with english as a secondary/tertiary language - I think it's just a bit more difficult for men on here sadly. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I’m not very good at chatting with people I don’t know very well, I tend to overthink and end up writing very short responses which probably seem rude...with people I know very well can’t shut me up though"
I've met a few people that cone across this way before. Luckily I can chat for two and after a bit they relax and quickly catch up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
With the right person i can be really chatty, the mutual wavelength has to be there for instance i can talk about most things and take a interest in most things but more importantly the person has to interest me. I can chat away about anything with one person then the next person the same conversation and it just cannot flow... its not the topic just the person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can write eloquently. I tend to answer conversationally in a stream of consciousness on threads and in messages. I overuse emojis to convey tone, although I’ve not learned the secret ones yet . I chat often and impulsively all over the place. I am pretty good at keeping conversations going in messages and if they fall flat I think it’s because we are just too different. In person I never shut up. - Mrs ( clearly, as Mr just interjects with a joke or information as he wants to, same as in person) |
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"I find emojis really helpful on here, tone can be difficult to discern with the written word. I'm very sarcastic naturally but I try to curb that on here as I feel it can come across as mean.
I love to chat and am definitely a stream of consciousness type person! I find people's different viewpoints and experiences fascinating. I find people fascinating in general.
Mrs TMN x
I've fixed it for you in my reply.
If I was to write a reply it would probably be almost identical to this! How do you curb your stream of consciousness so it doesn't become too long, too intense?
My sarcasm and humour is well meaning. It's affectionate teasing. Sadly that can be seen as mean so I do try and explain it a lot or just don't do it."
I don't think I do always curb my stream of consciousness... I can be quite full on, I think. Particularly if it's a subject I find really interesting.
I tend to hold back on the sarcasm. There are some people who I've interacted with a bit more who know when I'm teasing, so that's good. |
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"I can write eloquently. I tend to answer conversationally in a stream of consciousness on threads and in messages. I overuse emojis to convey tone, although I’ve not learned the secret ones yet . I chat often and impulsively all over the place. I am pretty good at keeping conversations going in messages and if they fall flat I think it’s because we are just too different. In person I never shut up. - Mrs ( clearly, as Mr just interjects with a joke or information as he wants to, same as in person) "
Goodness, we are similar
Mrs TMN x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I get my thoughts across better in writing, can slow down and reflect, delete and edit.. What you said about stream of consciousness.. liked that. Pretty much me in person covering little nerves with big mouth haha.
I can chat to anyone I think.. My father always insisted on it being a vital life skill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m ok at conversation if it interests me. I tend to post stream of consciousness stuff and my conversation is pretty much the same. Online I don’t edit my posts and therefore it’s often riddled with typos and grammatical errors. However I overthink stuff if I edit so don’t bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can write eloquently. I tend to answer conversationally in a stream of consciousness on threads and in messages. I overuse emojis to convey tone, although I’ve not learned the secret ones yet . I chat often and impulsively all over the place. I am pretty good at keeping conversations going in messages and if they fall flat I think it’s because we are just too different. In person I never shut up. - Mrs ( clearly, as Mr just interjects with a joke or information as he wants to, same as in person)
Goodness, we are similar
Mrs TMN x"
I knew this . - Mrs |
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"I can write eloquently. I tend to answer conversationally in a stream of consciousness on threads and in messages. I overuse emojis to convey tone, although I’ve not learned the secret ones yet . I chat often and impulsively all over the place. I am pretty good at keeping conversations going in messages and if they fall flat I think it’s because we are just too different. In person I never shut up. - Mrs ( clearly, as Mr just interjects with a joke or information as he wants to, same as in person)
Goodness, we are similar
Mrs TMN x
I knew this . - Mrs "
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's just a bit more difficult for men on here sadly."
You are quite right. Too sarcastic and you can come over as bitter. Too positive and you are branded 'a white knight'.
Mind you what surprises me is that out of the thousands of members of Fab, there are only a few tens who keep the forums going.
Most of my hotlist are active forum users I actually enjoy the streams of consciousness and the quirky randomness of what people post.
Q |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
In response to your OP, I do think that I alter what I'm writing and how I'm writing it according to who I'm talking with and where I'm writing it to.
If it's the forums and with a direct topic or discussion I tend towards forthright and a degree of clarity.
If it's one on one with a 'new' person, it can take me a while to get used to the tone of their messages, often leading to me being rather nervous and overthinking the conversation. My profile tagine isn't whimsical, I do bumble! Especially if it's clear that they're holding multiple chats concurrently as I feel that adds more pressure to 'be entertaining' |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I can be quite tricky. I have regular folk who message me. Their persistance is what keeps the conversation going. I’m terrible at maintaining contact.
Also, I either ask a lot of questions or none at all. It has been pointed out to me that i can give off an air of disinterest, due to lack of questions. Or i can go the opposite way and dissect a person and their personality.
My interest in people is very dependent on my mood. On a good day I’m sparkling and witty or on low days/can’t be bothered with the world days i’m quiet and it’s like getting blood from a stone.
It’s never personal, it’s just mood dependent. But i tend to think that unless the conversation is exciting and there’s a frisson between us then it’s not really worth pursuing so i don’t.
However, i’ve met some lovely men who don’t mind my quirks and i chat to some laidback men who put up with me, so it’s ok.
In person I’m not very good meeting new folk because i clam up, i’m aware i’ve clammed up and then i just shutdown.
I tend to do better with outgoing folk who can talk the legs off a donkey, as it makes me feel less self conscious.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am a terrible conversationalist I think more than I talk,I have various thoughts on why I'm like that. However I love watching people communicate with each other it fascinates me,unfortunately I don't think people appreciate my earwigging on their conversation.
Do it anyway! I do. The MLS was absolutely brilliant for it - I enjoyed seeing people let their guard down and watching how they interacted/looked at others. It told me far more than words on here can."
Was anyone different to how you'd imagined them? As in personality, not looks.
Not asking for names. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"I talk for a living, conversing with all levels from apprentices to company owners.
I also talk for a hobby.
But, on here, I've yet to send a first message, but I always reply to those I receive.
Why haven't you sent one? Yes, I'm much the same at work. I'd go so far as to say communication is vital for my line of work. Probably why I have such an interest in it. "
I did try to send a first message once, but your filters wouldn't allow me |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"
Do it anyway! I do. The MLS was absolutely brilliant for it - I enjoyed seeing people let their guard down and watching how they interacted/looked at others. It told me far more than words on here can.
Was anyone different to how you'd imagined them? As in personality, not looks.
Not asking for names. "
Yes. I think I'm quite good at reading people accurately but there were a few people I was a bit surprised by. Nerves obviously play a factor in that sort of thing for most but still. Seeing how people interacted while there and verifications that followed were also interesting.
I'm looking forward to meeting/seeing how others are at the next one - it was a shame you weren't there. x |
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I find it quite easy to talk to people on this site or in person, I’m quite often found talking to strangers if someone has gone to the bar or I go to the bar. Basic manners in my book if someone talks to you, you respond.
The style of conversation obviously differs from person to person, all dependant on how well you know each other, the more you talk the easier the conversation flows. There are however exceptions to this rule and you can click with someone very quickly if they are on your wavelength
As for emojis then can add to the conversation by adding a tone to the line. Some though will only be understood, along with some messages in the forum, by those it is intended for. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"...As for emojis then can add to the conversation by adding a tone to the line. Some though will only be understood, along with some messages in the forum, by those it is intended for. "
Oh I enjoy those messages! I'm not quite sure they *are* as cryptic as people hope for always.
I do enjoy finding out why and how people use language (and emojis) the way they do - bit of a linguistics dork. Probably bizarre to some though. |
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"...As for emojis then can add to the conversation by adding a tone to the line. Some though will only be understood, along with some messages in the forum, by those it is intended for.
Oh I enjoy those messages! I'm not quite sure they *are* as cryptic as people hope for always.
I do enjoy finding out why and how people use language (and emojis) the way they do - bit of a linguistics dork. Probably bizarre to some though. "
Some not no, but some really mean nothing to no one. People read a lot into things that aren’t even there |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"...As for emojis then can add to the conversation by adding a tone to the line. Some though will only be understood, along with some messages in the forum, by those it is intended for.
Oh I enjoy those messages! I'm not quite sure they *are* as cryptic as people hope for always.
I do enjoy finding out why and how people use language (and emojis) the way they do - bit of a linguistics dork. Probably bizarre to some though.
Some not no, but some really mean nothing to no one. People read a lot into things that aren’t even there "
Maybe. Intent/interpretation can be wildly different as the replies above have shown. |
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"Oh I enjoy those messages! I'm not quite sure they *are* as cryptic as people hope for always.
I do enjoy finding out why and how people use language (and emojis) the way they do - bit of a linguistics dork. Probably bizarre to some though.
Some not no, but some really mean nothing to no one. People read a lot into things that aren’t even there
Maybe. Intent/interpretation can be wildly different as the replies above have shown."
It is definitely down to how somebody reads the message and maybe making up an intent that is not there, especially when the message is not aimed at them |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It is definitely down to how somebody reads the message and maybe making up an intent that is not there, especially when the message is not aimed at them "
I think that people are going to read fora posts if you post them. It is posting publically. And sometimes form opinions about what you post, rightly or wrongly. They might form opinions about things that aren't there. I don't know.
*gallic shrugging the fuck out of this one*
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I used to be good at conversation. I used to be a social worker and had to be skilled to tease the most intimate information out of people in order to form a full and accurate assessment of their needs... however... put me in a club convo situation and I have no clue what to say... I end up looking a bit empty and shallow. |
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"It is definitely down to how somebody reads the message and maybe making up an intent that is not there, especially when the message is not aimed at them
I think that people are going to read fora posts if you post them. It is posting publically. And sometimes form opinions about what you post, rightly or wrongly. They might form opinions about things that aren't there. I don't know.
*gallic shrugging the fuck out of this one*
"
Of course it’s going to be read if in a thread, that’s a given. Individuals are welcome to obviously form their own opinion of what they think it means and yes some will take away from it the wrong impression, but that’s their business.
Whether it’s a direct response to an opening on a thread or indeed a response to a specific person. I know the context it has been said in, as would the individual it was in response to |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
Not sure if I have a style in the way I converse but generally it’s very laid back with a bit of cheek and sarcasm and occasionally some sound advice but the latter is very subjective. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
" Not sure if I have a style in the way I converse but generally it’s very laid back with a bit of cheek and sarcasm and occasionally some sound advice but the latter is very subjective. "
You are ridiculously laid back in a good way. Most things are subjective really. I think I post great sense |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
" Not sure if I have a style in the way I converse but generally it’s very laid back with a bit of cheek and sarcasm and occasionally some sound advice but the latter is very subjective.
You are ridiculously laid back in a good way. Most things are subjective really. I think I post great sense "
Forgot what your personality is like _eli you don’t come visit us common folk much |
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I’ve actually no idea.. I literally type and speak as I think. Sometimes it’s clear what I’m on about.. other times not so much. You can probably tell if I’m agitated or tired or excitable by what I write.. but think it’s just more unfiltered garbling. (Like now!) |
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Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough* YES
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you? Definitely YES
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics? YES
|
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"Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough* YES
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you? Definitely YES
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics? YES
"
KM |
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I am good at conversation on here, 1 to 1 I am a listener I just naturally support people to get something off their chest,
Emojis are fun and help my points to get put across as I am blunt and it lightens the mood,
I'm not sure what style I am conversation wise
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I’ve actually no idea.. I literally type and speak as I think. Sometimes it’s clear what I’m on about.. other times not so much. You can probably tell if I’m agitated or tired or excitable by what I write.. but think it’s just more unfiltered garbling. (Like now!) "
This is pretty much me I think
I just waffle mostly. In person I don’t generally seek people out because I can be a bit socially awkward but I love it when people come and chat to me |
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"I’ve actually no idea.. I literally type and speak as I think. Sometimes it’s clear what I’m on about.. other times not so much. You can probably tell if I’m agitated or tired or excitable by what I write.. but think it’s just more unfiltered garbling. (Like now!)
This is pretty much me I think
I just waffle mostly. In person I don’t generally seek people out because I can be a bit socially awkward but I love it when people come and chat to me "
Yes totally this! |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
" Not sure if I have a style in the way I converse but generally it’s very laid back with a bit of cheek and sarcasm and occasionally some sound advice but the latter is very subjective.
You are ridiculously laid back in a good way. Most things are subjective really. I think I post great sense
Forgot what your personality is like _eli you don’t come visit us common folk much "
I shall do before the year is out! It's on my to do list. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough* YES
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you? Definitely YES
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics? YES
"
Haha, I like it KM! You know you well. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I’ve actually no idea.. I literally type and speak as I think. Sometimes it’s clear what I’m on about.. other times not so much. You can probably tell if I’m agitated or tired or excitable by what I write.. but think it’s just more unfiltered garbling. (Like now!)
This is pretty much me I think
I just waffle mostly. In person I don’t generally seek people out because I can be a bit socially awkward but I love it when people come and chat to me
Yes totally this! "
I personally think that unfiltered garbling is fun |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"I am good at conversation on here, 1 to 1 I am a listener I just naturally support people to get something off their chest,
Emojis are fun and help my points to get put across as I am blunt and it lightens the mood,
I'm not sure what style I am conversation wise
"
Informative and attentive is my deduction. To use Belbin’s team roles to elaborate I would say you’re a specialist. |
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"I think there is a lot of emotion and intention lost in translation on the forums. A lot of misunderstanding takes place because different people process and perceive things in different ways.
I feel sure that if people were face to face and you could see facial expression there wouldn't be half as many "spats" as there are. I think the emojis help, they give an indication of the purpose the comment is being written with.
I think this is spot on. I often get the urge to clarify/apologise for something I write because I realise that unless people can hear my voice and intended delivery, they add on their own experiences and perception and that might not mirror my intent."
In real life I can talk to most people, (some of them listen!). On here I quite often draft something on the fora and then decide it might not be as witty as I hoped, even with exclamation marks. And maybe comes across as being a twat rather than hilarious (ok, mildly amusing). So I don’t post it. |
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"I’ve actually no idea.. I literally type and speak as I think. Sometimes it’s clear what I’m on about.. other times not so much. You can probably tell if I’m agitated or tired or excitable by what I write.. but think it’s just more unfiltered garbling. (Like now!)
This is pretty much me I think
I just waffle mostly. In person I don’t generally seek people out because I can be a bit socially awkward but I love it when people come and chat to me
Yes totally this!
I personally think that unfiltered garbling is fun "
Totally.. even I don’t know what’s coming out next!! |
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"I'm not good at all which is why I keep my replies to most threads short.
Jo.Xx
You are wonderful to talk to 1 on 1 though. Jo, I enjoy reading your replies. They don't have to be ballads to be good conversation."
Thank you Meli
I try not to get too deep it makes my head hurt.
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a total chatterbox and I say things straight out.
If I don’t know someone very well I can be shy to start, once I get past that best of luck trying to shut me up
I can’t remember all of the questions in your post now.
You have such an easy way of talking to someone that makes someone feel instantly comfortable. I discussed it with a mutual friend recently. Do you find you regret what you say ever?
As far as all my questions go? Fuck it. I literally typed all my thoughts and curiosity down in to a semicoherent text. "
Forgot to come back to this.
I rarely regret what I say with people I know, but strangers....hell yeah. I’ve gotten some funny looks after I’ve said some stuff, but hey ho! X |
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"Recently I've become acutely aware of the various ways we talk to each other - on the fora you see it in the differing styles of response depending on the person.
So...
Do you think you're good at conversation? Are you the sort of person who asks and says what comes to mind? *cough me cough*
Do emojis help or hinder an accurate reading of the intended tone for you?
Are you skilled at talking to different people on different topics?
Clearly my style is the stream of consciousness. "
Yes
Yes
Yes!
That was in answer to your questions Meli - it wasn’t a ‘Harry Met Sally’ moment |
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