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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
1. Don't talk about Beast Club.
2. You must choose an animal to fight to the death for Reputation Points.
3. That animal knows the rules and will act accordingly and with instinct.
4. No weapons, clothing or items.
5. No environmental advantage/arena adapts to fit both contestant and Beast.
For those who've played before.. Try to keep within the rules. To those who join in for the first time. The Mongol Horde will judge and may ask questions as to your potential plan of attack.
- Pick easy.. No Respect.
- Pick with a degree of difficulty.. Gain respect.
- Pick impossible.. Lose Respect.
You may have more than one attempt if the Horde deem you worthy of surviving your first encounter.
**No namby pamby, eco-warrior, supervegan, tree hugging bullshit in this thread people.. Let the bloodsports begin** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d just lick you to death x
 I'm waterproof.. youd need to try harder than that.. Also.. You know I'd HAVE to fight back right? it's in the rules  "
I’d just lie on my back and submit haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honey badger
Oh really? What's your tactic?
Blind panic whilst protecting my testicles "
I think you're in serious danger of losing those testicles my friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honey badger
Oh really? What's your tactic?
Blind panic whilst protecting my testicles
I think you're in serious danger of losing those testicles my friend. "
Well you set the rules...what else would you protect against what is predominantly a vicious predator... Its not like I can batter it with a snake. It eats them for breakfast |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex  "
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name 
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost."
a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Honey badger
Oh really? What's your tactic?
Blind panic whilst protecting my testicles
I think you're in serious danger of losing those testicles my friend.
Well you set the rules...what else would you protect against what is predominantly a vicious predator... Its not like I can batter it with a snake. It eats them for breakfast "
But I didnt force you to pick the most tenacious, give zero fucks, black and white Hulk of the Animal Kingdom.
You could have picked a Koala.. they're vicious little bastards too, but your knickers would be in less danger. You'd have gained the Hordes respect.. now.. they just fear for your dangly bits *Nobody wants to see that.. said the Horde with baited breath* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really "
read rule 5 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5"
hell its still got no arms and legs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs "
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity."
Easy.. You said nothing about hitting him with a world killing meteorite |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity.
Easy.. You said nothing about hitting him with a world killing meteorite "
*The Horde collectively  's and the world spins 0.5 of a degree of its axis* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity.
Easy.. You said nothing about hitting him with a world killing meteorite
*The Horde collectively 's and the world spins 0.5 of a degree of its axis*"
off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity."
its turning circle would be wide and as it has no owl like neck il rin around it staying away from his jaw jump on his tale climb onto his thigh and take a risk as his eyes are small and far from his jaws trick it into taking a chunkvout of its thigh timing my jump size for size i will have the reaction speed to get out of the way then sit back as it bleeds to death unable to get up il walk to a boulder for a sit down and chill  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity.its turning circle would be wide and as it has no owl like neck il rin around it staying away from his jaw jump on his tale climb onto his thigh and take a risk as his eyes are small and far from his jaws trick it into taking a chunkvout of its thigh timing my jump size for size i will have the reaction speed to get out of the way then sit back as it bleeds to death unable to get up il walk to a boulder for a sit down and chill "
Crocodiles, alligators and other large reptiles like Komodo Dragons use their tails as whips.. well most lizards do.. but the three mentioned could sweep a man off his feet. I dread to think what a Rex's tail would be like? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It was leg day today... so something I can fight whilst sitting down. Open to suggestions..."
*A particularly boisterous looking member of the Mongol Horde shouts "Sewer Rat?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity.its turning circle would be wide and as it has no owl like neck il rin around it staying away from his jaw jump on his tale climb onto his thigh and take a risk as his eyes are small and far from his jaws trick it into taking a chunkvout of its thigh timing my jump size for size i will have the reaction speed to get out of the way then sit back as it bleeds to death unable to get up il walk to a boulder for a sit down and chill
Crocodiles, alligators and other large reptiles like Komodo Dragons use their tails as whips.. well most lizards do.. but the three mentioned could sweep a man off his feet. I dread to think what a Rex's tail would be like?"
But its never had to use it its never seen an enemy like me its probly overconfident |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So iv beat 2 polar bears a polar bear and a hippo so il go this time with a trex
I was expecting Megalagon when I saw your name
- You lose the Mongol Hordes Respect a little. Though they do admire your tenacity, so you regain what was lost.a megalodon on land id not have much to do to win really
read rule 5hell its still got no arms and legs
How would you kill something like a trex without a weapon.. ? Morbid curiosity.its turning circle would be wide and as it has no owl like neck il rin around it staying away from his jaw jump on his tale climb onto his thigh and take a risk as his eyes are small and far from his jaws trick it into taking a chunkvout of its thigh timing my jump size for size i will have the reaction speed to get out of the way then sit back as it bleeds to death unable to get up il walk to a boulder for a sit down and chill
Crocodiles, alligators and other large reptiles like Komodo Dragons use their tails as whips.. well most lizards do.. but the three mentioned could sweep a man off his feet. I dread to think what a Rex's tail would be like?
But its never had to use it its never seen an enemy like me its probly overconfident "
Brilliant! The Mongols chuckle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not too sure on the rules but I'm going for wolf"
Tall order.. You will gain the respect of the Tribes if you can take it down.. What is your tactic? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A male pitbull
You know they're a breed of dog that can lock their jaw right?if he doses hinself with tetanus so can he "
Oh that's right! I forgot to include a time limit this time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok sounds fun
So I would place a sex starved Panda armed with bamboo throwing sticks in the arena beacuse i guess ether way it's screwed!
3.2.1 fight.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok sounds fun
So I would place a sex starved Panda armed with bamboo throwing sticks in the arena beacuse i guess ether way it's screwed!
3.2.1 fight...."
You have to fight the panda.. no weapons for either of you.. as fun as it'd be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You have to fight the panda.. no weapons for either of you.. as fun as it'd be.
Ahhh ok newbie here ok just the panda then "
Have you not seen that clip of a man being almost pulled through the bars of an angry pandas cage? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You have to fight the panda.. no weapons for either of you.. as fun as it'd be.
Ahhh ok newbie here ok just the panda then
Have you not seen that clip of a man being almost pulled through the bars of an angry pandas cage?"
Yes the guy was foolish with a frontal attack *bows to horde* i have a cunning plan |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You have to fight the panda.. no weapons for either of you.. as fun as it'd be.
Ahhh ok newbie here ok just the panda then
Have you not seen that clip of a man being almost pulled through the bars of an angry pandas cage?
Yes the guy was foolish with a frontal attack *bows to horde* i have a cunning plan"
The Horde love cunning plans. Do go on.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If allowed I would paint myself with panda eyes and body markings to lure said panda into a false sense of security and hopefully hornyness but that could take some practise according to China but nonetheless once panda is calm and gentle I would jump on it's back and ride it for all its worth untill it's worn out and gives up (let the enemy do the work) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Liopleurodon My beastie will cause thou much grief.....  "
ummm.. itll cause YOU the grief.. yourd the one who has to fight that aquatic marine dinosaur.. not I |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If allowed I would paint myself with panda eyes and body markings to lure said panda into a false sense of security and hopefully hornyness but that could take some practise according to China but nonetheless once panda is calm and gentle I would jump on it's back and ride it for all its worth untill it's worn out and gives up (let the enemy do the work)"
I'll allow the body paint.. just to see how the plan would pan out in reality. |
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"Liopleurodon My beastie will cause thou much grief.....
ummm.. itll cause YOU the grief.. yourd the one who has to fight that aquatic marine dinosaur.. not I "
Oh bugger!
I misread the rules!!!
Oh well.....I’m off to make my funeral arrangements then  I’ll leave you all a free bar though  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Liopleurodon My beastie will cause thou much grief.....
ummm.. itll cause YOU the grief.. yourd the one who has to fight that aquatic marine dinosaur.. not I
Oh bugger!
I misread the rules!!!
Oh well.....I’m off to make my funeral arrangements then I’ll leave you all a free bar though "
Respect lost.. but very much regained with the free bar |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A male pitbull
You know they're a breed of dog that can lock their jaw right?"
That’s why I chose a male. Present my forearm and take the bite. With my other hand squeeze the balls, get it on the floor and knee on the neck until it breaks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A male pitbull
You know they're a breed of dog that can lock their jaw right?
That’s why I chose a male. Present my forearm and take the bite. With my other hand squeeze the balls, get it on the floor and knee on the neck until it breaks."
Podrick LEVELS UP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A hedge hog , why do they hog the hedge?
We would sit in our stripy deck chair, eat baternburg and quaff raspberry lemonade "
How do you intend on dispatching said hogger of hedges? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A hedge hog , why do they hog the hedge?
We would sit in our stripy deck chair, eat baternburg and quaff raspberry lemonade
How do you intend on dispatching said hogger of hedges?"
Spike the lemonade obviously. Dastardly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A hedge hog , why do they hog the hedge?
We would sit in our stripy deck chair, eat baternburg and quaff raspberry lemonade
How do you intend on dispatching said hogger of hedges?"
oh I could send him parcel posts or DHL , |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A hedge hog , why do they hog the hedge?
We would sit in our stripy deck chair, eat baternburg and quaff raspberry lemonade
How do you intend on dispatching said hogger of hedges? oh I could send him parcel posts or DHL , "
No items. Just you vs Hog. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Leucochloridium paradoxum
I've only just discovered this bastard a few weeks ago and I feel queasy every time I see it pop up in social media 
Do I have to fight it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Leucochloridium paradoxum
I've only just discovered this bastard a few weeks ago and I feel queasy every time I see it pop up in social media
Do I have to fight it?"
Yes you do. Horrendous creatures.. saw them on Attenborough's shows as a youngster. Zombie mind control parasite for snails What a way to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Leucochloridium paradoxum
I've only just discovered this bastard a few weeks ago and I feel queasy every time I see it pop up in social media
Do I have to fight it?
Yes you do. Horrendous creatures.. saw them on Attenborough's shows as a youngster. Zombie mind control parasite for snails What a way to go. "
Well I was going to say salt, but that's an item so cant...
Then I was going to say I will do something to make me sweat and use the salty beads to shrivel the host up, but that could prove impossible.
So I'm going to piss on it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As it charges I place one foot on the top of his head, a antler tip in each hand as I front flip over and crush his spine with my voluptuous buttocks as I land full weight on his back..."
*A sharp gasp comes from the Horde.. *
A front flip with potentially life changing circumstances if you get it wrong by a few centimetres |
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