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Has there been a decline in manners ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think there’s has been a general decline in manners in society in recent years or have people always been rude, do you think people are more selfish and self absorbed now or have you not noticed a difference ? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Thank you for starting this thread Tame, it's something I've been thinking about a lot today.
Sadly people don't say please, let alone thank you which is really crushing. I always say thank you to express gratitude if it's genuine. I think it's nice to let people know you appreciate them and their actions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If I walk across a zebra crossing I always thank the car waiting, rarely do people thank me when I’m driving and I’m waiting for them to cross, I don’t know how they can do it, it’s just basic manners. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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Yes there is a decline. I think it’s been a steady decline but the more people have their face in their phone, forget how to interact politely or interact full stop, think they can say and do what they want without consequences then it’s unlikely to improve.
Manners cost nothing and there is no excuse for not using them. I was raised to be polite and respectful and that’s how I have raised my children so I’m ok  |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Yes.
Do you know how many times i’ve been ignored when i’ve stopped to let others through the School Gate? Loads!
Do you know how many times people have barged past me in a rush to get to the School Gate first, or just walked straight into me and not said sorry? Loads!
Do you know how much this rudeness pisses me off? That’s right, loads!!
Just no need! |
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I blame it on thatchers Britain.. where we became more selfish and now the modern scourge of the internet and the solitude that can develop ... to the end result of losing social skills and lack of manners becomes through that ??? Just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There has been a decline in manners. We live in a transient, self absorbed society where we don't interact with our neighbors and the wider society. It's easy to see the negative within society, especially with the media titillating us with antisocial behaviour. But in reality, society is still a cordial environment.
I few weeks ago I experimented with my own attitude and started to look out for acts of courtesy and found that on the whole, there was more acts of kindness than bad.
Of course, there is always going to be the idiot who cuts you up on the way to work, or the sales assistant who is rude, but I have decided not to let those people get to me for my own well-being and peace of mind. |
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I think it's definite and a by product of domished respect for others than self. A likely aspect of life that came from Thatchers UK and global neo-liberal emphasis rooted in exploitation at any cost. The Brazilian destruction of the Amazon rainforest at the moment, for immediate gains by a select few, destroying the home of native tribes, the unique environments there etc, is a manifestation of personal greed and disrespect for anything other than self.
We each choose how we engage with this shared world and the people and other species on it. It's unattractive to behave with disrespect and, as others say, the effort required to engage with other people to show your consideration,gratitude and even just acknowledgement that they have selflessly supported you, as their choice, requires very little. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There has been a decline in manners. We live in a transient, self absorbed society where we don't interact with our neighbors and the wider society. It's easy to see the negative within society, especially with the media titillating us with antisocial behaviour. But in reality, society is still a cordial environment.
I few weeks ago I experimented with my own attitude and started to look out for acts of courtesy and found that on the whole, there was more acts of kindness than bad.
Of course, there is always going to be the idiot who cuts you up on the way to work, or the sales assistant who is rude, but I have decided not to let those people get to me for my own well-being and peace of mind. "
What do you mean looking out for acts of courtesy? Like being more aware of when people do something nice?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I think it's got worse. The internet and people treating others as disposable. Phones Instagram, Facebook, too busy with all that to talk to the people around them.
I'm lucky that where I work people are generally nice to each other. We're told that it's unusual in many workplaces now. Unusual in that it's noticeable how friendly and helpful our work people are.
That's nice... but sad too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The Karma police are having to do a recruitment drive in today’s society. People’s bad manners really do gripe us . Have got a thing if people just walk through a door with no regards to who is behind them saying in a sarcastic voice “ thank you for holding the door open very kind of you” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't noticed much of a difference to be honest. I was taught good manners at school and by my family and I'm sure it's still taught the same now as it was then. The vast majority I come across dont say please or thank you, they dont hold doors for people or even indicate when driving for dear sake and it was much the same when I was younger. I continue to do so as it's how I was raised  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i got really mad on holiday recently. maybe its a culture thing
walking into you in the street, barging through me & friend when stood together rather than walking around us, butting in when your mid conversation, pushing in to pay before you in shops  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People walking 2 abreast on pavements chatting to each other. But won't go single file to let me past. I just stand there, I'm not walking into the road to get round them!  |
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I get the bus every night as the school is coming out, I'm middle aged, when the bus comes they push me out of the way,barge me, I nearly fell over many times. And they never give their seat up for the elderly.
Not the way, or manners I was taught . |
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The list is too long !
However, if you stick to what you’ve been taught and teach those younger than you the same, all is not lost... don’t get sucked into the “rude” world
Too many times during the day though I find myself sarcastically saying “your welcome” in a loud voice when I or my child has done a simple thing, eg hold the door open for someone and they don’t acknowledge it
Basics cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep I think so. We've become more detached (technology) and entitled (the 'I want it now' mentality).
If something goes wrong a 'sorry' no longer suffices. We expect compensation.
I also remember saying 'good morning' in passing someone on the street in London. They looked at me like I was either below them to speak to or I was going to mug them. |
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I think there's a decline when I was young if on the bus you would get up if an elder needed a seat. If someone was struggling to cross the road you'd help them. you know the kind of thing...shovelling the snow off the elderly neighbour's path. I taught it my kids and whilst they aren't perfect they do have great manners...if a car stops I put my thumb up and smile. it costs nothing and goes a long way. |
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"Do you think there’s has been a general decline in manners in society in recent years or have people always been rude, do you think people are more selfish and self absorbed now or have you not noticed a difference ? "
They moaned about a decline in manners in the 15th century too. Also probably pretty much every century since then.
Ever been out with pals as a teenager and done noisy, daft or silly stuff, didja end up with someone moaning about your manners or attitude, clothes, speech (couth or uncouth). Was it someone you didn't know?
Were they old and grumpy?
That's you now  |
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This is a bug bear of mine too!
If I hold the door open for some these days, I invariably find myself saying ‘ you’re welcome!’ Because there was no sign of ‘thank you’
The advent of contactless cards means people no longer have to exchange pleasantries at tills
Don’t get me started on people in queues/trains/buses sharing their conversation with everyone around them - not to mention GDPR regulations if it’s a business call!!!!
Oh I’m on a rant now  |
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"Idiots walking though a shopping centre texting on their phone and people having to get out of their way I just one example of the decline!!"
Old capitalists moaning about climate change being bs while they merrily destroy what little planet we have left? I think it's inexcusably rude behaviour in the old. You're right Tame!!! There is a decline |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't noticed any change. People have always been nice and bloody rude, and just about everything in between. I think old fashioned manners have changed, men no longer hold doors for women help us put on our coat, order food and pay for our meals. Gender norms changed a long time ago. I've always been polite and courteous but I recognise that some people weren't taught basic manners unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work in retail and I have noticed that the older the person the worse thier manners .
Young people on th whole always say please and thank you
Its the older generation who are the rudest.
Which is surprising but true |
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"Do you think there’s has been a general decline in manners in society in recent years or have people always been rude, do you think people are more selfish and self absorbed now or have you not noticed a difference ? "
I haven't noticed a difference.
I have noticed a huge tendency for people, particularly those of or approaching middle age, to think that things have gone down hill since 'their day' and that the younger generations are inferior.
It's so common it's almost a cliche. I'd advise all of us pushing 40+ to remember this and try and maintain a little self awareness before we start griping away... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think there’s has been a general decline in manners in society in recent years or have people always been rude, do you think people are more selfish and self absorbed now or have you not noticed a difference ?
I haven't noticed a difference.
I have noticed a huge tendency for people, particularly those of or approaching middle age, to think that things have gone down hill since 'their day' and that the younger generations are inferior.
It's so common it's almost a cliche. I'd advise all of us pushing 40+ to remember this and try and maintain a little self awareness before we start griping away... "
This is a general observation of people, no mention of the younger generation being ruder, cause I don’t believe they are, I’d say the rudest and most self absorbed people I encounter are those in their 40’s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely a decline in manners.
Little things like saying “thank you” when I hold the door for someone, it’s rare it happens now, and I notice because I always say thank you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read all the replies but when I think of my teenage son and his friends their manners are impeccable. I had 8 of them over on Thursday and they all thanked me for throwing them a party. Wanted to include me when I was happy to leave them be and all thanked me when leaving. Again one came over today and thanked me for letting her come over. Unfortunately there has always been and will always be bad manners but if you maintain your own manners and teach manners to children things will improve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People walking 2 abreast on pavements chatting to each other. But won't go single file to let me past. I just stand there, I'm not walking into the road to get round them! "
I don't stop, I walk into them. Fuck those pricks |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
Just plain rude isn't it....
Yes but it’s de rigueur on here
Oui je suis d'accord.....  "
Ah - yes I agree - pardon! |
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"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
Just plain rude isn't it....
Yes but it’s de rigueur on here
Oui je suis d'accord.....
Ah - yes I agree - pardon! "
Your forgiven.... |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
Just plain rude isn't it....
Yes but it’s de rigueur on here
Oui je suis d'accord.....
Ah - yes I agree - pardon!
Your forgiven...."
And I’ll forgive you for using ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"Yes I think it's got worse. The internet and people treating others as disposable. Phones Instagram, Facebook, too busy with all that to talk to the people around them.
I'm lucky that where I work people are generally nice to each other. We're told that it's unusual in many workplaces now. Unusual in that it's noticeable how friendly and helpful our work people are.
That's nice... but sad too."
That's really nice, I work with Cunts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I think it's got worse. The internet and people treating others as disposable. Phones Instagram, Facebook, too busy with all that to talk to the people around them.
I'm lucky that where I work people are generally nice to each other. We're told that it's unusual in many workplaces now. Unusual in that it's noticeable how friendly and helpful our work people are.
That's nice... but sad too.
That's really nice, I work with Cunts."
Are you a gynaecologist? |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"Yes I think it's got worse. The internet and people treating others as disposable. Phones Instagram, Facebook, too busy with all that to talk to the people around them.
I'm lucky that where I work people are generally nice to each other. We're told that it's unusual in many workplaces now. Unusual in that it's noticeable how friendly and helpful our work people are.
That's nice... but sad too.
That's really nice, I work with Cunts.
Are you a gynaecologist? "
Only in my spare time  |
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It's a dog eat dog world now so I worry less about manners and more about survival..
I believe that there is the quick and the hungry..
In my local supermarket at 8-30pm you can be as polite as you like but letting others go first and all the reduced food is gone...I muscle them all now regardless of age, gender or firmness... I will not go hungry for the sake of manners...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a dog eat dog world now so I worry less about manners and more about survival..
I believe that there is the quick and the hungry..
In my local supermarket at 8-30pm you can be as polite as you like but letting others go first and all the reduced food is gone...I muscle them all now regardless of age, gender or firmness... I will not go hungry for the sake of manners...
"
yea i get the first bit but the last bit makes you look a mr burns the kind of guy able to steal a lollipop off a toddler  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I think it's got worse. The internet and people treating others as disposable. Phones Instagram, Facebook, too busy with all that to talk to the people around them.
I'm lucky that where I work people are generally nice to each other. We're told that it's unusual in many workplaces now. Unusual in that it's noticeable how friendly and helpful our work people are.
That's nice... but sad too.
That's really nice, I work with Cunts.
Are you a gynaecologist?
Only in my spare time "
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If you can hold the door, blocking their way, until they give thanks, it typically interrupts their pig-headed attitude. Any issues, making it then clear that you are now going in the opposite direction, and don't move until they reverse, may be an option to remove the benefit of the door being held for them. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
I wonder why they're like that. Manners on here are in short supply "
They think highly of themselves so feel they don’t have to bother to be polite.
Sadly we don’t live in the age of poets x |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
I wonder why they're like that. Manners on here are in short supply
They think highly of themselves so feel they don’t have to bother to be polite.
Sadly we don’t live in the age of poets x "
Yes manners really are in short supply! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people on here are incredibly rude and think it’s their right to be rude.
I wonder why they're like that. Manners on here are in short supply "
I think it’s different when it comes to online personally.
As in, I think people have a right not to reply to who they aren’t interested in without being considered “rude”.
However messages such as “Fancy a fuck” or “Let me spread your holes” (I received that one recently” could be considered not very polite! |
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"Don't think there has been a decline in manners but as a HR professional I have noticed a general increase in people taking offence and complaining about every perceived slight. "
This
They are usually after compo
Or it's the snowflake generation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be all British and say please and thankyou and sorry yourself for everything, even when its you holding open doors or giving way in cars. I am so polite (obviously well brought up) I find myself doing this all the time then have to do this to myself |
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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
There is definitely a rise in perceived rudeness in later generations but they would ot consider themselves to be rude. It's a function of lesser social coping mechanisms. The younger generation are used to interacting on devices mainly through text now, rather than verbally and non-verbally face to face. The environment has changed with those that have grown up with the internet and mobile devices always having been there, as opposed to those of us old enough to remember times before instant connectivity and communication. |
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The rudest people I encounter are the elderly. Whether their manners have declined over time or they never had them in the first place I don't know. The most polite are younger people. They're often the ones who are front line in the service industries, hospitality etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists... "
How many times in life has a woman ( I'm assuming that's what you mean by scowling feminist) actually scowled at you for holding a door open?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists...
You hold a door open because you are a Gentleman, not because they may or may not be a Lady. "
Most decent human beings hold a door open if someone is behind them |
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists...
How many times in life has a woman ( I'm assuming that's what you mean by scowling feminist) actually scowled at you for holding a door open?
"
Often |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists...
How many times in life has a woman ( I'm assuming that's what you mean by scowling feminist) actually scowled at you for holding a door open?
Often "
I actually don't believe that tbh |
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists...
How many times in life has a woman ( I'm assuming that's what you mean by scowling feminist) actually scowled at you for holding a door open?
Often
I actually don't believe that tbh "
Oh they do with almost a disdain in their eyes .. |
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"I will no longer hold a food open. Fed up with scowling feminists...
How many times in life has a woman ( I'm assuming that's what you mean by scowling feminist) actually scowled at you for holding a door open?
Often
I actually don't believe that tbh "
To be fair, not many men are scowling feminists.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The polite ones of us still say thankyou etc, and the rude ones...well!
I think it’s just the same but the ignorant ones are taking over.
Will always be courteous to whosoever deserves that recognition.
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