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Worst thing you've ever seen in a public toilet
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy."
My favourite from years ago was
My mother made me a homosexual
Directly underneath in different writing
If I gave her the wool would she make me one too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy.
My favourite from years ago was
My mother made me a homosexual
Directly underneath in different writing
If I gave her the wool would she make me one too"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Myself, a dribbling mess on the urine soaked, cold, ceramic floor tiles.. Reflected in full technicolor 1080p HD via a shiny chrome toilet.
Welcome to Jackass. |
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one. "
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must |
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By *upremexMan
over a year ago
liverpool. huyton. near yewtree |
"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must"
..... I would do the same" or wait untill I went in a cafe etc. |
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must..... I would do the same" or wait untill I went in a cafe etc. "
It is easier for men to nip behind a tree though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An open tub of vaseline and sone soiled pants.
It's probably not the worst thing I have seen but the image has stuck with me as to what went on and how long ago. |
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By *upremexMan
over a year ago
liverpool. huyton. near yewtree |
"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must..... I would do the same" or wait untill I went in a cafe etc.
It is easier for men to nip behind a tree though. "
..... Your right on that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one. "
Are you too good for a public toilet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one. "
To go to the loo  |
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one. "
As a plumber I find ladies are quite bad too
Especially in pubs and nightclubs .
Knickers stuffed into cisterns or thrown on floors if they started their period while out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
As a plumber I find ladies are quite bad too
Especially in pubs and nightclubs .
Knickers stuffed into cisterns or thrown on floors if they started their period while out "
I used to work in a bar and was the only staff member that would clean the bogs.
Most weekends I'd always find a used tampon left on the toilet seat. |
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By *upremexMan
over a year ago
liverpool. huyton. near yewtree |
"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
Are you too good for a public toilet? "
...i just will not walk through piss and crap in some stinking public loo to use it'.. has nothing to do with being too good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
Are you too good for a public toilet? ...i just will not walk through piss and crap in some stinking public loo to use it'.. has nothing to do with being too good."
Maybe I just put a tone in your voice in my head.
My point being, yes they're a bit grim, but sometimes you've very little choice in the matter. |
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By *upremexMan
over a year ago
liverpool. huyton. near yewtree |
"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
Are you too good for a public toilet? ...i just will not walk through piss and crap in some stinking public loo to use it'.. has nothing to do with being too good.
Maybe I just put a tone in your voice in my head.
My point being, yes they're a bit grim, but sometimes you've very little choice in the matter."
.... no tone from me at all. Grim and smell. |
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy."
Try this one then...
If you think the crabs can jump quite high
Go next door, the bastards fly  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 I don't want my breakfast now.
I avoid public loos unless absolutely desperate. I haven't witnessed dead bodies but have been exposed to some dirty bastards who have little manners. God knows what their bathrooms must be like! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Last week someone left 2 dollops of poo on the floor as you walked into the ladies toilets at work. Who does that ! None of us could fathom out how you wouldn’t know you had done that. |
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By *bwplaydate OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and travel/hotel |
My ex boss at the bank once left her used tampon on the floor of the disabled toilets and got caught out as she was the only one who used it that day.
She was a right bitch too.
Much less bitchy after that though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine has to be 2 dead junkies."
Bloody hell. So two humans tragically lost their lives and you’ve reduced it to a pissing contest thread on a sex site.
Well done. |
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy.
Try this one then...
If you think the crabs can jump quite high
Go next door, the bastards fly "
It's no use standing on the seat the crabs in here can jump six feet ! |
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy.
Try this one then...
If you think the crabs can jump quite high
Go next door, the bastards fly
It's no use standing on the seat the crabs in here can jump six feet !"
Yeah I'd forgotten about that bit, so I know who the culprit was now  |
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I ran a pub for a few years and one night a lady must have had explosive diarrhea... How I never threw up I'll never know. There was shit everywhere, including handprints of it all over the cubicle door, the wall, the sink and taps, and on the door to get back out of the loos.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I ran a pub for a few years and one night a lady must have had explosive diarrhea... How I never threw up I'll never know. There was shit everywhere, including handprints of it all over the cubicle door, the wall, the sink and taps, and on the door to get back out of the loos. "
This is probably why you often see a dude lurking in the bogs with a damp cloth and a bottle of old spice. |
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"I saw some fun graffiti; someone had out a Jesus related quote up from the bible. Someone next to it had penned -
I worship Satin
Someone else had written; I prefer corduroy.
Try this one then...
If you think the crabs can jump quite high
Go next door, the bastards fly
It's no use standing on the seat the crabs in here can jump six feet !
Yeah I'd forgotten about that bit, so I know who the culprit was now "
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By *bwplaydate OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and travel/hotel |
"Mine has to be 2 dead junkies.
Bloody hell. So two humans tragically lost their lives and you’ve reduced it to a pissing contest thread on a sex site.
Well done. "
Why did I say it was the worst thing I'd ever seen? (Waits for your arrogance to kick in). |
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Two 40 + year old men wanking each other off in the door way of the men’s public toilets in heavetree Exeter at 1.00pm on a Saturday afternoon a few months back, there were kids about as well, felt sickened by it and I ran away, was actually needing a wee real bad and didn’t go, actually called the police on them |
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"Why did I say it was the worst thing I'd ever seen? (Waits for your arrogance to kick in)."
How did you know they were dead though? Maybe they were just mamba zombies, there are plenty in Derby and probably throughout the world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A blobby knob coated with warts all over the bellend with cheese all under the foreskin slowly emerging through a splintery glory hole ........ While I was halfway through a dump  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
When I was around 9 we stopped at the Dartmouth Tunnel loos. My mum opened the cubicle door and I'm not kidding every part of it was brown, like someone had exploded. I've never seen anything like it. As I turned away I was sick all over the floor. Ever since then if I really have to use a public loo I push the door open really, really tentatively!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must..... I would do the same" or wait untill I went in a cafe etc. "
is that not a public toilet then ???
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
I admit that if there's a discreet tree to go behind I'll use that in preference but sometimes needs must..... I would do the same" or wait untill I went in a cafe etc. is that not a public toilet then ???
"
Not really because they can limit its use to customers. As it's on private property not a public biding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The biggest Huntsman Spider ever, chewing on the remains of a snake..!!
Never ever look up when you’re sitting on the loo doing a no 2 in the Australian bush. |
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I remember going into a nightclub toilet and someone had curled out a massive steamer into the urinal. Felt sorry for whoever had to get that out by hand! Portaloos on army training areas are the worst though... |
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By *bwplaydate OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle and travel/hotel |
"Why did I say it was the worst thing I'd ever seen? (Waits for your arrogance to kick in).
How did you know they were dead though? Maybe they were just mamba zombies, there are plenty in Derby and probably throughout the world "
You'd can kinda tell when someone's been dead for a while. They tend to have certain tell tale signs that are unmistakable.
However I did once come across what must have been a 2 ft long horse shit (judging by its width) half out of a toilet and slinking onto the floor in an argos toilet back in the 90s.
I miss the 90s (but not the giant turds) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex boss at the bank once left her used tampon on the floor of the disabled toilets and got caught out as she was the only one who used it that day.
She was a right bitch too.
Much less bitchy after that though "
dirty fucking cow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one. "
MrD
Because I always seem to get it trouble when I go into the ladies toilets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never used one and don't intend to start now. You can smell a men's loo from miles away' why would anyone want to even use one.
MrD
Because I always seem to get it trouble when I go into the ladies toilets "
Why do you get into trouble? |
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"Why did I say it was the worst thing I'd ever seen? (Waits for your arrogance to kick in).
How did you know they were dead though? Maybe they were just mamba zombies, there are plenty in Derby and probably throughout the world
You'd can kinda tell when someone's been dead for a while. They tend to have certain tell tale signs that are unmistakable.
However I did once come across what must have been a 2 ft long horse shit (judging by its width) half out of a toilet and slinking onto the floor in an argos toilet back in the 90s.
I miss the 90s (but not the giant turds)"
Amen! Turds in the eighties were even bigger still! Like bloody great fallen oak trees they were. I blame Shrinkification - first our Mars bars and then our turds (although logic dictates that eating a smaller confectionery bar will in turn produce a smaller poo I suppose....) |
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