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married what's the odds
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong  + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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everyone has their own _iews on this subject, some very strong and some will get very moralistic on you
My own personal _iews on people playing away is its totally upto them, i dont take the moral high ground with cheater and more than happy to chat to them on here, however i would not knowingly meet someone who was playing away simply because ive been on the receiving end of this and i know how much it hurts when you find out and i dont want to play any part in that pain on another person
Saying that i use clubs a lot and go to parties and im sure i must have played with married guys at those or met men off here who claim not to be married but are really, but i cant be 100% all the time there will always be a few slip thro lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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.... stand by for some home truths, there are many who will play with married and many who will not.
Some partners know some do not.
I'll put the kettle on for the cuppa's while you wait for the posts. xx |
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
Are you seriously asking if a site full of married couple will generally approve...
Imagine walking into a crowded bar of couples and saying...i am not getting sex at home and i want to cheat on my wife...do you approve? What do you think the answer will be 
Bit of free advice...women have needs too, why has your wife gone of sex? When i had my boys i went of sexfor a year each time, the cause post natal depression. There is always a caue if you can be bothered to look for it.
As for will u get a meet...you might, but there are plenty of single men without any baggage who most will prefer to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
I see no reason why you should be infected with your partner's celibacy. If she chooses not to have sex and withhold it from you then she can't have any complaints if you see close contact elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the main thing people will comment on is the fact your profile says you want to be discreet because of your job and not because you are married so i'd change that before the forum police get here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have a lot to think about and its not just about swinging and sex although if you are missing it then its an issue for you.
Firstly before you meet or arrange to meet anyone you have to work out how potential fallout will affect you at home. That can be anything from your wife finding out to you falling for someone you have slept with.
Secondly you need to think if your marriage is worth keeping and if its worth the risk or if you really want out of your marriage.
Thirdly you have to be prepared for the haters who will see you as nothing more than a cheat and will do all in their power to discredit you and put you down.
Some will meet married people, some married people will not say they are it very much depends but being open about it will get you less meets. You could however go to a swingers club, you can play with people there and will hardly ever get asked about your marital status.
What you do need to do it think long and hard before you do anything and ignore the haters as you will get a lot of that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best advice I can give is make sure you say your married on your profile and DO NOT EVER feel you need to justify your actions on here - we have our reasons and they are our own reasons - some wont like it - some wont mind, some look for married guys only (usually married women)
If your contacting someone make sure you read their profile properly and if they say no attached/married guys move on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i know a few who only meet married guys, i think they feel they are safer as theres less chance of married guys getting clingy or wanting more from them than sex, which i can understand as ive met a few bunny boilers on my time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say sit down and tell her you need sex and you have needs ..... see what she say .... then say you may have to look at places where you can get it ... if not on offer at home ... its a risk i know but maybe worth it as you could find a lady here you really like and sex so good you may run off .  |
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"i know a few who only meet married guys, i think they feel they are safer as theres less chance of married guys getting clingy or wanting more from them than sex, which i can understand as ive met a few bunny boilers on my time "
Strangely enough one of the reasons we have our no marrieds rule is because we used to take a more lassie faire attitude and it was always the married men who got attached. They would start looking for something emotional as well as the sex from me, never a problem we have had with single guys, but my theory is if something is missing from your marriage, its not just sex thats gone wrong. |
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"I would say sit down and tell her you need sex and you have needs ..... see what she say .... then say you may have to look at places where you can get it ... if not on offer at home ... its a risk i know but maybe worth it as you could find a lady here you really like and sex so good you may run off . "
Communication is always the answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of free advice...women have needs too, why has your wife gone of sex? When i had my boys i went of sexfor a year each time, the cause post natal depression. There is always a caue if you can be bothered to look for it."
How is it that if a guy lets himself go and puts on a few pounds and the wife doesn't fancy him anymore it's up to him to sort that out and get in shape? But on the flip side of the coin, how is it that if the wife is suffering from PND it's down to him to recognise it and stand by idly waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it?
Why is it that a lot of women expect their partner to stand by them through thick and thin but if a man goes off sex a lot of women cheat and justify it by saying it's the man's fault for making her feel unloved, unattractive, or unwanted?
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
What do i think...
No, your not right to cheat, but my opinion isnt going to stop you, swinging for us, and alot of other people ( not all) is about having some open and honest fun with some different people, taking time to make sure your partners are pleasured and maybe even have time for drinks/food/converation... however, when you meet someone who is cheating, they are *****generally****** clock watching, needing to get home asap so their partner doesn't find out, don't want to have a coupe of drinks, they just want to be in and out as quickly as possible.. and some people feel they are being used to fill a gap left by your failing marriage and people dont like feeling used ( in a bad way)
I suggest you sit down and talk to your wife, find out why she has gone off sex, it might be that she is ill or has some problems going on she doesnt feel she can talk to you about. and if she turns around and says she just isn't in to sex, say your a human being and you have sexual needs and you would like to explore ways to keep your marriage going yet be fulfilled sexually and if she consents, then your not cheating...
lots of people will play with married guys/women, just not cheaters( though some will play with cheaters)... most people dont like to be a part of someone elses deceit... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say sit down and tell her you need sex and you have needs ..... see what she say .... then say you may have to look at places where you can get it ... if not on offer at home ... its a risk i know but maybe worth it as you could find a lady here you really like and sex so good you may run off .
Communication is always the answer"
sure is and could keep them together xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married .....
I see no reason why you should be infected with your partner's celibacy. If she chooses not to have sex and withhold it from you then she can't have any complaints if you see close contact elsewhere.
i think hes being sarcastic lol
I'm not, I absolutely mean what I said. Why should he lead a life of a monk because someone else has dumped it on him."
so just to clarify, do you feel he should take any resposibility to try and rectify the problems at home first or do you believe he should just say fuck it woman if you can't make the effort to fuck me then i'm off to get it elsewhere? |
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"Bit of free advice...women have needs too, why has your wife gone of sex? When i had my boys i went of sexfor a year each time, the cause post natal depression. There is always a caue if you can be bothered to look for it.
How is it that if a guy lets himself go and puts on a few pounds and the wife doesn't fancy him anymore it's up to him to sort that out and get in shape? But on the flip side of the coin, how is it that if the wife is suffering from PND it's down to him to recognise it and stand by idly waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it?
Why is it that a lot of women expect their partner to stand by them through thick and thin but if a man goes off sex a lot of women cheat and justify it by saying it's the man's fault for making her feel unloved, unattractive, or unwanted?
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex."
i would hope that if his wife is ill then "withholding sex " is less important than seeing her recover. Sex is not a right, it is something both people need to want, right now only he does, therefore he will benifit if he gets to the bottom of this.
As to why a partner needs to recognize depression...its a symptom of depression that you do not know you have it, a loving and caring partner will see something is up.
Siren not been horny since the baby or something, cos this is claptrap even for you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
How is it that if a guy lets himself go and puts on a few pounds and the wife doesn't fancy him anymore it's up to him to sort that out and get in shape? But on the flip side of the coin, how is it that if the wife is suffering from PND it's down to him to recognise it and stand by idly waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it?
"
A couple choose to have a baby, they make that choice together and as a result the woman suffers from a horrible and often dangerous mental health breakdown afterwards, the man should stand by the woman he loves why because he loves her.
if he puts on weight and she isnt attracted to him and he wants sex why should he sort himself out... because HE wants sex and she probably does too but she isn't turned on by a massive blob wobbling around on top of her.
"
Why is it that a lot of women expect their partner to stand by them through thick and thin but if a man goes off sex a lot of women cheat and justify it by saying it's the man's fault for making her feel unloved, unattractive, or unwanted?"
The majority of women who expect their partner to stand by them no matter what AREN'T the ones who would then turn around and cheat on their partners if they went off sex, they are the ones who would try everything they could to help their partner and stand by their partner... why because people judge others on their standards... if you would stand by your man why shoudn't he stand by you?
"
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex."
So because she is his wife(im not sure if this still applies to girlfriends,fiance's etc), no matter how she feels and why if she isn't giving up the goods then she should loose her man to someone who is willing to give it up no questions asked??
What if he just isn't turning her on.. what if his idea of forplay is " get the lube love its time for our weekly shag" would you want sex with that...
Also, if he isn't getting what he needs from his marriage then he should think about divorcing her, not cheating on her.... and if he doesnt want to divorce her, then he should start trying to save his marriage... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"everyone has their own _iews on this subject, some very strong and some will get very moralistic on you
My own personal _iews on people playing away is its totally upto them, i dont take the moral high ground with cheater and more than happy to chat to them on here, however i would not knowingly meet someone who was playing away simply because ive been on the receiving end of this and i know how much it hurts when you find out and i dont want to play any part in that pain on another person
"
I agree with this. I have been on the receiving end so will not knowingly meet someone who is married or attached and on here without their partners knowledge.
You will find some who will and some who wont. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bit of free advice...women have needs too, why has your wife gone of sex? When i had my boys i went of sexfor a year each time, the cause post natal depression. There is always a caue if you can be bothered to look for it.
How is it that if a guy lets himself go and puts on a few pounds and the wife doesn't fancy him anymore it's up to him to sort that out and get in shape? But on the flip side of the coin, how is it that if the wife is suffering from PND it's down to him to recognise it and stand by idly waiting for her to come to terms with it and deal with it?
Why is it that a lot of women expect their partner to stand by them through thick and thin but if a man goes off sex a lot of women cheat and justify it by saying it's the man's fault for making her feel unloved, unattractive, or unwanted?
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex.
i would hope that if his wife is ill then "withholding sex " is less important than seeing her recover. Sex is not a right, it is something both people need to want, right now only he does, therefore he will benifit if he gets to the bottom of this.
As to why a partner needs to recognize depression...its a symptom of depression that you do not know you have it, a loving and caring partner will see something is up.
Siren not been horny since the baby or something, cos this is claptrap even for you
"
i think you need to know the reasons behind why someone goes off sex before you can comment, if its a medical reason someones not having sex them to say its their fault if their partner goes and looks else where is a bit off
Surely if your partner is ill, male or female, if you loved them seeing them get better is more important than sex?
if someone can just go off and shag another person so easily i have to ask was there any love there in the first place? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I have told my 2 reasons as to what affects how i feel on this subject.... because i have seen first hand how it can destroy people......
i'll tell them later in the thread, because it tends to stop the thread right there and sometimes the entire mood changes.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't no why you are asking what other people think its up to you what you do in your life. A lot of people would want sites like this shut down because they think they r seedy don't worry about what other people think mate like us we ent here to be judged by anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so just to clarify, do you feel he should take any resposibility to try and rectify the problems at home first or do you believe he should just say fuck it woman if you can't make the effort to fuck me then i'm off to get it elsewhere?"
My subsequent post said:
"
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex.
"
So, yes he should try and get to the bottom of why she doesn't want sex. If she doesn't want to discuss it what other recourse does he have?
Personally, I'd leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Siren not been horny since the baby or something, cos this is claptrap even for you
"
That is a cheap shot and has nothing to do with how I feel personally about relationships and the obligation two people have to keep that relationship going if it is to be at the exclusion of anyone else, ie, monogomous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so just to clarify, do you feel he should take any resposibility to try and rectify the problems at home first or do you believe he should just say fuck it woman if you can't make the effort to fuck me then i'm off to get it elsewhere?
My subsequent post said:
The only problem I have with what the OP is doing is that he hasn't told his wife that he needs sex and if she doesn't come across with the goodies he'll find someone else who will.
If the OP's wife is withholding sex then she has to be prepared to lose her man to a woman who enjoys sex.
So, yes he should try and get to the bottom of why she doesn't want sex. If she doesn't want to discuss it what other recourse does he have?
Personally, I'd leave."
ok sorry, i was so busy ing i missed you saying that 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex ....
And you thought this would help get her back in the mood?
"
what makes me laugh is we're only 7 weeks into the year he says it likes hes been without for a life time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex ....
And you thought this would help get her back in the mood?
what makes me laugh is we're only 7 weeks into the year he says it likes hes been without for a life time "
7 weeks can seem like a lifetime when you're horny.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex ....
And you thought this would help get her back in the mood?
what makes me laugh is we're only 7 weeks into the year he says it likes hes been without for a life time
7 weeks can seem like a lifetime when you're horny. "
i made my ex go 8 months once, told he he wasnt getting any till he;d had the snip, took him 8 months to come round to the idea but i got my way in the end
sex is a very powerful tool lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex ....
And you thought this would help get her back in the mood?
what makes me laugh is we're only 7 weeks into the year he says it likes hes been without for a life time
7 weeks can seem like a lifetime when you're horny.
i made my ex go 8 months once, told he he wasnt getting any till he;d had the snip, took him 8 months to come round to the idea but i got my way in the end
sex is a very powerful tool lmao"
bet he regrets that decision now he is your ex... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex ....
And you thought this would help get her back in the mood?
what makes me laugh is we're only 7 weeks into the year he says it likes hes been without for a life time
7 weeks can seem like a lifetime when you're horny.
i made my ex go 8 months once, told he he wasnt getting any till he;d had the snip, took him 8 months to come round to the idea but i got my way in the end
sex is a very powerful tool lmao
bet he regrets that decision now he is your ex..."
hes still got his kids wether hes with me or not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
"
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now |
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now "
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
if it was me, i'd speak to her about it, try to find out why she is like this, if she will talk about then tell her how important it is to you and how it makes you feel by not having this and where it will ulimately lead. if you cant live like this and you want your marrige to work then you should really address it with her and let her know that it might in the end drive you away
usually when women stop having sex their is a reason for it, if you find that reason and sort it out you probally find after a nice night or two if you really pull out the stops and give her a hell of a seshion i think she probs go back to normal and realise what she's been missing!
it might be something shes feeling about herself, or something shes feeling about you, either way if you want a good relationship it should really be brought up and dealt with, after all the rewards will probally be quite great, if you cant sort it then maybe you both gotta take a look at things and realise where its going to go
if talking about it dont work, then i'd try and get her in the mood for it by doing other things, they plenty of things you can do to put the spark back in your relationship.
make a fuss of her unexpectidly, do something to make her smile and get that buzz back, you know her better than any of us, they must be things you can do to make an effort and touch her that will get her all loved up and if she feels like she used to do then she probs want loving like she used to do too
women love sex but they can loose interest, if you want it back give her some interest!
no your not right to dip the water to answer your question, and if you do persist i'd suggest being honest on your profile so people can decide if they mind or not, some will some wont.
but if you do or dont the chances of getting a meet if you cant accomodate are usually limited.
try and sort things out though if you really like her, you can always cheat as a last option lol. but i'd make it clear what it means to you and where it goes, after all you wont be doing her much of a favour by staying with her and going behind her back, they must be a way u can fix it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes women want love and affection that doesn't mean having full sex. Just touching, being close and loving, knowing that it will enough till they feel sexy again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking."
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts... |
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking.
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts... "
Are you sure this isn't a wind-up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking.
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts... "
Dude stop talking - you dont need to aire it on here - IT WILL NOT JUSTIFY IT |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking.
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts... "
right so it sounds like your wife has a lack of confidence! How do you think it will affect her already low self confidence if she were to find out that you have been having casual sex with strangers?
I know that if it was me i would be destroyed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking.
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts... "
Have you tried asking her what will make her love her body again, instead of just telling her you like her as she is?
Buying flowers, going away for weekends etc is nice,,, but what about the rest of the time, she has to live with her body and if she hates it then she isn't gonna be happy and if women aren't happy they usually go off sex... also,,, be honest with her, tell her that you want to help her to love her body again so you can love her body with her...
Tell her your horny and you want to feel her close to you again. tell her you feel your drifting apart etc. and tell her you want to help her feel happy...
because it isn't just about your happiness when your in a relationship.. there are two of you |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"So... you haven't had sex this year... yet you joined 6 months ago.... hmmmmm.
had sex about 5 times in them 6 been on here just looking up till now
And now you have turned her off totally.... hmmmm.... I don't want my sex breaking.
She says she's not liking her body i tell her i love it take her weekends away try to make her feel good i mean she is stunning but it's in her head and i can't get it out i send her flowers and all sorts...
Dude stop talking - you dont need to aire it on here - IT WILL NOT JUSTIFY IT"
bit too close to home for comfort...
sorry that was flippant....
when i found out an ex had cheated on me and she wanted me to take her back the one thing i said to her was..."well the last thing you were thinking of when you were bouncing up and down on him was me!!!" and then i walked....
great when you think of a line and have time to use it at the right time.....
you aren't thinking of the pain that you could cause, you are thinking with your cock.. plain and simple!....
all i say is if the risk is worth the reward, then it doesn't say much about how you feel about the relationship.... |
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ok..
you may well get your leg over, you may well have a nice 'FB' relationship with someone other than the woman who is your partner..
but when she finds out and thats probably a high percentage the longer you are doing so..
she will be devastated, try and put yourself in her shoes..
be totally honest and ask yourself how you may feel if the situation was reversed..
we all go off sex at some point in a relationship whether due to illness, stress etc etc..
i would suggest a long hard think about what will work for you both, if thats going to be the end of the relationship then..
then communicate, no mention of any 'support' from marriage guidance or family / close friends i think..
bit or respect for her would be the first thought personnally..
good luck, hope you sort it... |
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in answer to question yes some will meet married guys and some absolutly wont . so you can find meets on here if thats what you want ,but will take time and effort . what you have to decide op is firstly is its worth your marrige . secondly if youd be better dealing with root cause of your wifes loss of interest in sex rather than just dealing with the subsequent issues arising from it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would rather not know if someone was married. My hubby doesnt mind me seeing other men, in fact he likes me too. I dont like it much when men brag about cheating on their wives, but i can understand why they do if they dont get enough attention from their wives, then again that might not be their wives fault. If i was ill for a long time, i would discuss it with my hubby and tell him that he could have sex with someone else. He doesnt want to, but if he was much younger he might. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP have you had an affair before and your wife has found out about it? That kills sex within a couple if that has happened, takes a while to get it back to the way it was if ever. Sorry to seem like I'm prying just trying to get to the root of your wife going off sex with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP have you had an affair before and your wife has found out about it? That kills sex within a couple if that has happened, takes a while to get it back to the way it was if ever. Sorry to seem like I'm prying just trying to get to the root of your wife going off sex with you. "
even just finding out that your partner has lied about something to you, doesn't have to be sexual, can put you off sex too... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP have you had an affair before and your wife has found out about it? That kills sex within a couple if that has happened, takes a while to get it back to the way it was if ever. Sorry to seem like I'm prying just trying to get to the root of your wife going off sex with you.
even just finding out that your partner has lied about something to you, doesn't have to be sexual, can put you off sex too... "
True, any breaking of trust that makes a person lose respect is a killer. Ended my marriage of 20 years for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" my theory is if something is missing from your marriage, its not just sex thats gone wrong."
Shortly before my first wife and I got married we were required to go to evening classes at the church to learn about what makes a good marriage (it was a requirement of being able to book the church we wanted so we had to do it).
One of these evening involved 4 couples sitting in a circle and on the floor in the middle were dozens of plain white post cards, each with a single word written on them. There were things like love, honour, duty, family, home, work, health, committment, faith etc etc etc, and we were asked to pick the one card that was more important than any of the others. I studied the cards and made my choice. Each person was then asked to say out loud which card they'd picked but I was the only one who chose 'sex'.
My first wife cringed, the other couples chuckled and the vicar asked me why I'd picked that card. I replied, "If there is a problem with any of the others, sex is always the first casualty." I still stand by that.
To the OP: You owe it to your marriage to sit your wife down and put your cards on the table. If she knows exactly what's at stake it might be the jolt she needs to take a good look at why she feels so unsexy. if you have done all you think you possibly can to reassure her that you still find her attractive and she still doesn't feel sexy then she is beyond the remit of the help you can provide and professional councelling may be the way to go. If she she refuses to even consider that then maybe a temporary break will assist you both in adjusting to life without each other, or make you both realise that you don't want a life without each other. It'll certainly bring focus upon the problem and assist in finding a solution, one way or another. |
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ok.
you havent had sex since the new year (poor you) and you MAY get a shag out of someone on here (yay, go you!)
but, ask yourself this...
when she finds out (and dont fool yourself that she wont, we always find out someone is cheating on us sooner or later), what are you likely to face?
i can see 3 says it can go.
1) with her exisiting low self esteem she will see you as the victim and do all she can to win you back (this is the outsider, with very looooong odds)
2) with her curent low self esteem she will deem herself not being worth anyones time, let alone your, and you will find her hanging from the bannister on your return from work/a fuck meet (this is more likely than 1, but less likely than 3)
3) you will get more fucks than you will even have imagined possible. and not from the female populous on here. by her solicitors. you will lose everything and all you will be left with in your hand is the thing you are thinking with at this moment in time.
are you ready to face the backlash, or would you rather sit down and talk your missus problems through?
delete your profile, drain the blood from below your waist and feed it back above your neck, and sort your marriage out, or you WILL regret it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should be honest to your wife going behind her back is cheating you can gain more respect from you wife if you tell her, And who knows she could ask to go on meets with you, my partner knows about me swinging and she is 100% ok for me doing it also would you be happy if your wife met a bloke without you knowing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After the fun trying to explain things from my point of _iew yesterday here goes
Not many males can resist the pull of testosterone and if for any reason (of which there are many)things are not good in the relationship with the wife and you havent got the bottle or there are other reasons why you cant split
Then of course sex becomes a main focus
As ive said many years ago i had an affair and i certainly aint proud of it
Having said that it wasnt that cut and dried
Im bisexual and although my wife at the time was aware of this and actually let me go with men (which incidentally she shared my main one with me in threesomes)
She wouldnt however let me see females
So it was ok for her to see men but not me to see women
(her stance on this was well you can see men and actually now i can see her point but at the time i was young and couldnt see it)
So i started to see a lady on the side
Anyway i digress
So i dont actually as such have a problem with marrieds
What i DO have a problem with however is how marrieds treat the swinging world like a justification for their cheating and im on about the fact that some seem to brag about it
IE the forums (designed primarily in my opinion to wind up people)
Yes put the fact you are married on your profile
Yes tell people by mail and be truthful about it
Or even better keep it to yourself UNLESS you are asked
Respect your partner a little more by not airing your dirty washing in a public forum on a swinging site that the poor bugger knows nothing about anit ya hurting her enough already??
Also ill relate somthing that happened quite regularly with my last partner at chams
Im a nosey twat and im always curious what made people swing (bee n in it myself nearly 30 years and ya get curious lol)
So regularly either in the jacuzzi or the bar area id ask single males that were taking an interest in my partner if they were genuinely single
The majority said no and to be truthful as ive said its none of my business
The next question i then asked was "does your partner swing?"
You would be amazed at the number that said "oh no i wouldnt let her and i would never bring her to a place like this"
They were always amazed by the fact we would at that point get up and walk away
So just to sum up and give you marrieds a few tips ta get meets
Be truthful but keep your bloody heads down
No one (and remember in swinging women are in charge and DONT forget that one)Likes a bragger and especially if that bragger seems to be bragging they are cheating no matter how they say it
Why open yourself up to criticism?
My experiences are my own but other couples have their reasons and _iews on the subject
I hope this thread has gone some way to explaining and helping you
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You may end up with alot more then sex here .... not just STDS you could get some and if you did have sex with wife and she end up getting them the cat will be out the bag big time and you could end up meeting a lady who wish alot more from you then just sex ... you may say no it could never be like that .. it could . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"delete your profile, drain the blood from below your waist and feed it back above your neck, and sort your marriage out, or you WILL regret it. "
If a man is thinking only with his cock when he cheats, what is a woman thinking with when she does it?
And with women, where is the blood to flow from, and back to, considering there is nowhere for the blood to go in either location?
  |
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"delete your profile, drain the blood from below your waist and feed it back above your neck, and sort your marriage out, or you WILL regret it.
If a man is thinking only with his cock when he cheats, what is a woman thinking with when she does it?
And with women, where is the blood to flow from, and back to, considering there is nowhere for the blood to go in either location?
"
thats why women cheating is worse.
cuz at least we know we havent enough blood to work our brains and our dicks.
women its just nasty lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You may end up with alot more then sex here .... not just STDS you could get some and if you did have sex with wife and she end up getting them the cat will be out the bag big time and you could end up meeting a lady who wish alot more from you then just sex ... you may say no it could never be like that .. it could ."
Bloody hell Jo go fa it lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You may end up with alot more then sex here .... not just STDS you could get some and if you did have sex with wife and she end up getting them the cat will be out the bag big time and you could end up meeting a lady who wish alot more from you then just sex ... you may say no it could never be like that .. it could .
Bloody hell Jo go fa it lol xx "
well we have to tell him .... how it is .. xx cover all things , lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"delete your profile, drain the blood from below your waist and feed it back above your neck, and sort your marriage out, or you WILL regret it.
If a man is thinking only with his cock when he cheats, what is a woman thinking with when she does it?
And with women, where is the blood to flow from, and back to, considering there is nowhere for the blood to go in either location?
"
When women are aroused blood flows to their clitoris, labia and around their vaginal walls, increasing stimulation in those areas.
I know this from my doctor, he told me this is why i pass out when im having really really good sex sometimes.. so women should drain the blood from their labia/clit i guess... or alternatively just not use a lack of blood as an excuse lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pass the popcorn this should get good
can i sit next to you and watch? "
Nooooo... Stay under the duvet wi me n Benice... We can catch the highlights later...;-) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pass the popcorn this should get good
can i sit next to you and watch?
Nooooo... Stay under the duvet wi me n Benice... We can catch the highlights later...;-)"
budge up a bit then! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
good luck with whatever you decide to do...
I now choose not to give advice to married people or any guys wanting to introduce their gf/wives to this world, it causes way too much grief/reaction.
again, good luck |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I am not going to give you "advice" of what you should do with your marriage as only YOU will know what is going on at home and to be honest, it isn't any of my business and I don't want to get involved.
What I will say is.....some people on the site do play with married men and women so I am guessing you have a fair chance of getting a meet. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Siren not been horny since the baby or something, cos this is claptrap even for you
That is a cheap shot and has nothing to do with how I feel personally about relationships and the obligation two people have to keep that relationship going if it is to be at the exclusion of anyone else, ie, monogomous."
I agree it was a cheap shot.
Please post without personal jibes just to score a point. |
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Just remember if you do meet people or even send photos of your face with a _iew to meeting people.... one Saturday afternoon when you and your wife are strolling through the Metro Centre... you need to have your excuses ready for the moment you both here a sniggering noise behind you and a voice saying "she must be the one who isn't putting out". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP...
I am going to say this.... if you work on your profile, you will get meets... But make sure your honest
As to the rest.. you dont need to justify yourself, If for what ever reason I was not able to or wanting to have sex.. I would gladly give my Husband/Master the okay to seek fun with others.. The same is true in reverse.
however, I would know that we had spoken about it in great depth and looked at why we were like that.
I do think that its a joint effort and any woman that thinks her man will go without sex for months at a time is asking for trouble.. its not just up to the man to bring up this in conversation.
I know that many try for sometime before just feeling a sex pest... and then start to look elsewhere..
Was going to add a big long bit.. but the bottom line is its up to both people to try and make it work.. dont just assume the cheating party hasnt tried.
cali |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
Why have you chosen a swingers site over a 'married and cheating' site?
Do you think the women on here are easy? |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married ....."
You dont need to justify anything to anybody on here - I personally would not meet attached people because I dont want to end up in some horrible triangle situation but I would not judge you for doing what you are doing. Moral high ground is always a dangerous approach to take - and usually people who judge dont know the whole story. Hope that makes sense  |
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"Hi I am married but miss knows nothing about this site
Y im here
Not had sex this year / wife's lost interest in sex / i am horny as f--k / and a man has needs ....
so what do you think ? am i right to dip the water and have some no strings fun or wrong + what's the chances of getting a meet when your married .....
Why have you chosen a swingers site over a 'married and cheating' site?
Do you think the women on here are easy?"
As i said elsewhere these people contribute to the abuse women get on here for not meeting anyone and everyone...
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