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IVF
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"has anyone gone thru IVF...ive been told i have to wait 4 yrs for it...il be 38 by then...gutted isnt the word....i dont think id feel like a woman if i cant bear a child and be a mum "Feel for you | |||
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Sadly, we can't afford any more goes.
Anyway, it's tough, it's emotional, it will completely take over your life and screw you up. But that's completely normal.
PM me if you want someone to vent at. I still scream and cry regularly. It's a shit card we've been dealt.
*Her*
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"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals." Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her*"  | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her*" I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand? | |||
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" I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" Hands up, I bit, and perhaps I shouldn't have but talking about such an emotive subject when it's clearly not something you understand in such a trivial manner is going to get a reaction. Your comment brought me to tears and I am actually shaking with anger and disbelief. *Her* | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" You love your son and your dog the same? Actually I have to say that is VERY hard to understand!! I love ,y pets but would give the, up in a second it if ,y kids were even allergic11 | |||
" You love your son and your dog the same? Actually I have to say that is VERY hard to understand!! I love ,y pets but would give the, up in a second it if ,y kids were even allergic11" what's happened to my mmmmm's | |||
"are u on the nhs waiting list also...i cud go private but i cant afford it....i im not allowed to adopt or foster because of my carreer which really sucks and i may fight that decision....but ur right it doesnt make up for the experience of having ur own child...life can be cruel at times but im not at the angry,bitter stage yet...the ironic thing is my sister spits 2 babies out at a time...2 sets of twins au naturall...lol" I guess we were 'lucky' there was no waiting list where we live. We only got one go though (they didn't count the first go as it didn't get to completion) I'm nearly at menopause (prematurely) so I responded poorly to the full dose of drugs so unfortunately only had 3 eggs collected and only 2 fertilised which they put back in. As there were no embies left to freeze, that's our one go gone. The Nice guidelines state a couple should get 3 goes but each PCT decides themselves. We're now left trying on our own with less than 1% chance of it happening naturally for us. We're saving but at £5.5k a go, it'll be a long time before we can afford it. What was your diagnosis? There are things you can do to improve your chances depending on what the diagnosis is. The NHS aren't interested in that though so you have to find the answers yourself. Let me know if you want to chat. *Her* | |||
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"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" Yes totally impossible to understand to be honest with you.... | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her*" well said | |||
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"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" feels so sorry for your son  | |||
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"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals." There is the odd statement in these forums that make me literally go 'WTF ?'  and sorry legs but that was one of them.
I have no doubt that it was meant with best intentions, but it was at best insensitive.
Let's be positive though - the reactions to the comment will hopefully show the OP that she (and other people in her position) has the support of the forumites at what is a difficult and devastating time for her.
Sadly the support cannot solve her problem, but I hope it offers her a smidgeon of solace even if it is in the longer term. | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" I hope your joking? How can you say any human being is equal to an animal? My mind is boggling? To the OP, it must be very hard for you both....i dont want to sound patronising, but you have my good wishes and empathy xx | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals. Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little brain? How the hell is a dog anywhere near creating life, carrying it, feeling it move inside you then giving birth to it and watching it grow? Or not being able to. Bit harsh maybe? Really - think before you post? I've had some shitty things said to me during my almost 3 years of infertility but the only way people will learn is if we speak up and say 'that hurts' or 'that's really not cricket' I'm sorry - but that really wasn't cricket. *Her* I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand?" there are not many times I am truly lost for words...... good luck and my very best to all who so long for their own xx | |||
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"Well my sons in his thirties and he cried when we had to have our dog put down two years ago, she was part of the family. He took her to the vet for me because i was so upset." and your point is? I dont get it....  | |||
"Well my sons in his thirties and he cried when we had to have our dog put down two years ago, she was part of the family. He took her to the vet for me because i was so upset." that is understandable pets do become a part of a family but it still doesn't equate to your initial comment which was ill timed and insensitive | |||
"Well my sons in his thirties and he cried when we had to have our dog put down two years ago, she was part of the family. He took her to the vet for me because i was so upset.and your point is? I dont get it.... "Thats ok. | |||
"Well my sons in his thirties and he cried when we had to have our dog put down two years ago, she was part of the family. He took her to the vet for me because i was so upset." sorry to hear you lost your dog, it is sad.... but least you had your own flesh and blood to comfort you. | |||
" I have a son and a little dog, i love them both the same, is that so hard to understand? Hands up, I bit, and perhaps I shouldn't have but talking about such an emotive subject when it's clearly not something you understand in such a trivial manner is going to get a reaction. Your comment brought me to tears and I am actually shaking with anger and disbelief. *Her*" Got to say, I found that kind of insensitive and I'm not involved in the issue. You may feel that way, but when someone wants a child and can't have one I can imagine nothing compares to how hard that feels and while I think the post was well meant it's a bit like saying I'm sorry you lost your mum but at least you've still got your dad. | |||
"Not being funny, but have you thought about getting a little dog? thats if you like animals." This is right up there with the stupidest comments it's been my misfortune to read on these forums. What a thoughtless thing to write. | |||
"Well my sons in his thirties and he cried when we had to have our dog put down two years ago, she was part of the family. He took her to the vet for me because i was so upset.and your point is? I dont get it.... "Poor attempt. I'm infertile and lost my cat during my first round of treatment last year. I loved my cat but the pain of my infertility far outweighs everything I went through when she died. My cat died, she wasn't coming back. I cried, I grieved, I got over it eventually. The pain of infertility is like grieving, except you never get over it. Every month there's that hope. Maybe this month. Then comes the crushing pain, the pain that almost makes you want to end it all when you realise for the 30th moth in a row it hasn't happened and probably never will. Then you start to get your hopes up again as a new month rolls in. Then the wound opens up again at the end of the month. On and on it goes. Month after month, year after year. Infertile people have no peace. I fail to sympathize or understand how you can compare this to having/losing a pet. *Her* | |||
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"has anyone gone thru IVF...ive been told i have to wait 4 yrs for it...il be 38 by then...gutted isnt the word....i dont think id feel like a woman if i cant bear a child and be a mum "yes i know of a couple who are good friends that went private. 7k and they were sadly unsuccesful. They are both 41 and didnt want to wait. As you are 34 i would say you are more fortunate to have some time on your side. My friends have been together 5 years and wanted to wait until they got married (18 months ago) before trying to conceive naturally. Im not being funny and i may have missed it in this thread but not sure if you have been trying with your partner or what your situation is, but i wish you well | |||
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" im not allowed to adopt or foster because of my carreer which really sucks and i may fight that decision.... " WTF!!!!!! Are you a professional child molester or something!!!?????? I can't believe people who long to have a child are discriminated against for that!!!!! No wonder this country is f***ed!!!! OP..... Much love to you, never give up hope x | |||
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"has anyone gone thru IVF...ive been told i have to wait 4 yrs for it...il be 38 by then...gutted isnt the word....i dont think id feel like a woman if i cant bear a child and be a mum "Sorry to hear its effecting you emotionally, unfortunately there is a suspicion that they give such long times into forcing you to go private. If you can find the money its not ideal but will get you a quicker solution although its not really fair for you to have to resort to it. | |||
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"has anyone gone thru IVF...ive been told i have to wait 4 yrs for it...il be 38 by then...gutted isnt the word....i dont think id feel like a woman if i cant bear a child and be a mum "Wanted to send u a message privately but I cant - it wont let me - am really really thinking of u - big hugs xxxxxx | |||
"i dont think any subject is taboo or not suitable for a swingers site as this is the lounge board not the swingers one...i wasnt hurt on enraged by any comments and it was my thread...so u may think its too insensitive but as me the poster and who asked for advice and got it then no im not sorry i did it and would do it again....do you think i havent discussed it with my family and close friends...course i have...considering i only found all this out yesterday and have no clue where to go or what to join or read then this was a safe place and as good a place as any to at least start the ball rolling and ive now had some private mails with better directions to turn to...so its all good....its the same old chestnut im afraid ...if u dont like a thread then do not comment on it "I agree, I don't think there should be taboo threads, unless they break site ruled. It makes a change from the interminable "would you fuck...' threads. | |||
"i dont think any subject is taboo or not suitable for a swingers site as this is the lounge board not the swingers one...i wasnt hurt on enraged by any comments and it was my thread...so u may think its too insensitive but as me the poster and who asked for advice and got it then no im not sorry i did it and would do it again....do you think i havent discussed it with my family and close friends...course i have...considering i only found all this out yesterday and have no clue where to go or what to join or read then this was a safe place and as good a place as any to at least start the ball rolling and ive now had some private mails with better directions to turn to...so its all good....its the same old chestnut im afraid ...if u dont like a thread then do not comment on it "From my point of _iew it isnt a case of not liking it and not commenting as I am not the one with the problem with other posters being insensitive. Im simply saying that if sensitive subjects are posted on a site where people arent going through the same thing be prepared for maybe some things posted that could offend or upset. I read that a poster was crying and shaking with rage and thought that maybe this was not the right place for such a discussion. I also mentioned that of course people are free to post what they want but beware of the comments that may follow. I never saw a thread that upset me personally, but then I _iew this business of a little lighthearted entertainment. Personally not keen on spilling out my agony in public where anyone on the web can read it but thats just my own personal _iew. I realise that some take solace from others online and good luck to them. Just human nature I guess. I see that someone is genuinely upset and dont like it. | |||
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