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Auntie Ps advice line

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Come on then peeps, what's bothering you?

I'll give you some sage P advice, first thing that pops into my head, which I recommend you do not take on board..... unless I have a genius moment of course.

P

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why haven’t I got your figure?!?! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why haven’t I got your figure?!?! Lol "

Coz that would be theft if you did, and that would lead to troublesome times ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?"

You need to spray your windowsills with Elnett extra strong hold to stop the hair fairies entering at night.

Tricksy fuckers they are.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple  over a year ago

Hailsham


"Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?

You need to spray your windowsills with Elnett extra strong hold to stop the hair fairies entering at night.

Tricksy fuckers they are."

See .. your cheese answer was probably right ... but I've got to call bollocks on this one

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m thinking of buying a new electric drill.

Which is better, a Makita or a Dewalt (or something else?)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?

You need to spray your windowsills with Elnett extra strong hold to stop the hair fairies entering at night.

Tricksy fuckers they are.

See .. your cheese answer was probably right ... but I've got to call bollocks on this one "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?

You need to spray your windowsills with Elnett extra strong hold to stop the hair fairies entering at night.

Tricksy fuckers they are."

I'll give it a try.. whilst covering mirrors until after lunch so as not to scare myself..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m thinking of buying a new electric drill.

Which is better, a Makita or a Dewalt (or something else?) "

I wouldn't recommend an Akita, it will more than likely bark than drill, Dewalt Disney is part of a Mickey Mouse operation so go with Co-Op own brand.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why haven’t I got your figure?!?! Lol

Coz that would be theft if you did, and that would lead to troublesome times ahead."

This is true lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why do I go to bed with a perfect bob and wake up like an electrocuted witch?

You need to spray your windowsills with Elnett extra strong hold to stop the hair fairies entering at night.

Tricksy fuckers they are.

I'll give it a try.. whilst covering mirrors until after lunch so as not to scare myself.. "

Don't get the spray on the mirrors, this beastly to remove

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Why are my clothes growing?

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I’m thinking of buying a new electric drill.

Which is better, a Makita or a Dewalt (or something else?)

I wouldn't recommend an Akita, it will more than likely bark than drill, Dewalt Disney is part of a Mickey Mouse operation so go with Co-Op own brand."

Co-op it is then; Thanks Auntie P

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why are my clothes growing? "

What are they growing? Potatoes? Leeks?

Business opportunity right there.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Why are my clothes growing?

What are they growing? Potatoes? Leeks?

Business opportunity right there.

"

They're getting bigger. I thought calorie fairies shrunk clothes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why are my clothes growing?

What are they growing? Potatoes? Leeks?

Business opportunity right there.

They're getting bigger. I thought calorie fairies shrunk clothes. "

Well it could be your washing machine super stretching them.

Or PMF has been trying them on behind your back whilst in Hulk mode.

Other than that, you're losing weight.... in my case height

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

Auntie P - I keep leaving slug trails in my knickers whilst at work. It gets a bit when they go cold. What should I do?

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By *ust ClareTV/TS  over a year ago

Settlewick!

How do I walk in my red heels without a paramedic on hand?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Auntie P - I keep leaving slug trails in my knickers whilst at work. It gets a bit when they go cold. What should I do? "

Sell them! We've all seen the guys begging for used pairs. Imagine the bidding war when they realise it contains a gusset slug. You'll be a millionaire Rodders.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Im going into Birmingham shortly, should I take the train or drive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do I walk in my red heels without a paramedic on hand?"

Cut the heels off

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By *rivateparts!Man  over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

So when are you inviting me for a cuppa

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome."

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice "

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

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By *ed-monkeyCouple  over a year ago

Hailsham


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again "

My bad

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

My bad "

I’m only joking it has been said before. Along with Clive James and Patrick Stewart.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple  over a year ago

Hailsham


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

My bad

I’m only joking it has been said before. Along with Clive James and Patrick Stewart. "

All nobly successful in their time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

My bad "

Besides I like killing threads.

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By *obbytupperMan  over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"Auntie P - I keep leaving slug trails in my knickers whilst at work. It gets a bit when they go cold. What should I do?

Sell them! We've all seen the guys begging for used pairs. Imagine the bidding war when they realise it contains a gusset slug. You'll be a millionaire Rodders."

Gusset slug

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Im going into Birmingham shortly, should I take the train or drive?"

It's all wet and windy, people drive like they've only ever driven in a bumper car before today once the rain comes. Take the train

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again "

Shall we dance?

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Auntie P - I keep leaving slug trails in my knickers whilst at work. It gets a bit when they go cold. What should I do?

Sell them! We've all seen the guys begging for used pairs. Imagine the bidding war when they realise it contains a gusset slug. You'll be a millionaire Rodders."

On it. You have all the solutions. Thank you Auntie!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Auntie P - I keep leaving slug trails in my knickers whilst at work. It gets a bit when they go cold. What should I do?

Sell them! We've all seen the guys begging for used pairs. Imagine the bidding war when they realise it contains a gusset slug. You'll be a millionaire Rodders.

On it. You have all the solutions. Thank you Auntie!"

You're very welcome, I'll let you give me a cut of the spondoolies recieved as a production of the fruit of your loins.

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By *rivateparts!Man  over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I'm not good enough to be answered then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So when are you inviting me for a cuppa "

Had to scroll back to find it.

But it's ok, just proves I'm not perfect even though I come extremely close.

Whenever you want, just make sure you bring tea, coffee and milk... maybe a cup too, and a saucer if you're feeling posh.

And biscuits.

And cake.

And pizza.

And maltersers.

God you're sooooo demanding PP

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

How can I murder my boss and get away with it please ??

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By *rivateparts!Man  over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"So when are you inviting me for a cuppa

Had to scroll back to find it.

But it's ok, just proves I'm not perfect even though I come extremely close.

Whenever you want, just make sure you bring tea, coffee and milk... maybe a cup too, and a saucer if you're feeling posh.

And biscuits.

And cake.

And pizza.

And maltersers.

God you're sooooo demanding PP "

After that set of instructions I'd say so are you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How can I murder my boss and get away with it please ??"

Swap his mug bleach for cyanide

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By *appytrailmanMan  over a year ago

Manchester

I dont know where to drink on Saturday pre gig do I go to Ramsbottom which will be cheaper to get to the gig after and probably quieter even though they have the chocolate festival on or do I go to Manchester for more selections of bars and probably a bit of a better atmosphere?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So when are you inviting me for a cuppa

Had to scroll back to find it.

But it's ok, just proves I'm not perfect even though I come extremely close.

Whenever you want, just make sure you bring tea, coffee and milk... maybe a cup too, and a saucer if you're feeling posh.

And biscuits.

And cake.

And pizza.

And maltersers.

God you're sooooo demanding PP

After that set of instructions I'd say so are you "

I'd say.... specific

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? "

You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

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By *rivateparts!Man  over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"So when are you inviting me for a cuppa

Had to scroll back to find it.

But it's ok, just proves I'm not perfect even though I come extremely close.

Whenever you want, just make sure you bring tea, coffee and milk... maybe a cup too, and a saucer if you're feeling posh.

And biscuits.

And cake.

And pizza.

And maltersers.

God you're sooooo demanding PP

After that set of instructions I'd say so are you

I'd say.... specific "

Good job I luvs ya

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I dont know where to drink on Saturday pre gig do I go to Ramsbottom which will be cheaper to get to the gig after and probably quieter even though they have the chocolate festival on or do I go to Manchester for more selections of bars and probably a bit of a better atmosphere? "

Chocolate festival. I repeat.. chocolate festival.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"How can I murder my boss and get away with it please ??

Swap his mug bleach for cyanide "

Wow !! You're one clever fucker

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By *ed-monkeyCouple  over a year ago

Hailsham


"How can I murder my boss and get away with it please ??

Swap his mug bleach for cyanide Wow !! You're one clever fucker "

Or novachok

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing "

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box "

was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"How can I murder my boss and get away with it please ??

Swap his mug bleach for cyanide Wow !! You're one clever fucker

Or novachok"

I'm not in Salisbury sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love "

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee "

Aah , that old Coconut

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee "

I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk."

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown "

I’m joking - read the Do Men feel Sexy thread and you’ll see a less tongue in cheek view.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown I’m joking - read the Do Men feel Sexy thread and you’ll see a less tongue in cheek view."

Phew! I thought I was gonna have to open a can of whoopy ass

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown I’m joking - read the Do Men feel Sexy thread and you’ll see a less tongue in cheek view.

Phew! I thought I was gonna have to open a can of whoopy ass "

every now and then I need a self-deprecation fix, old habits die hard

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown I’m joking - read the Do Men feel Sexy thread and you’ll see a less tongue in cheek view.

Phew! I thought I was gonna have to open a can of whoopy ass every now and then I need a self-deprecation fix, old habits die hard "

I hear ya! Besides, how can people justify taking the piss out of others if they can't take the piss out of themselves?

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By *ibblingnewtWoman  over a year ago

by the sea

How can I lose a stone in a week ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How can I lose a stone in a week ?"

Have you never tried skimming? It can be very cathartic

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By *edbath 5Man  over a year ago

london

I’m over 50. Is there still time for my willy to increase and my belly to decrease

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How can you get away with murdering a colleague who’s been bitchy trying to get someone the sack?

Asking for a friend

Doughnut

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/04/19 14:10:28]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’ve just killed the cute, sexy or fugly thread by putting my face as my profile pic temporarily. Some advice would be welcome.

Call them a bunch of cunts and flounce off.

Before you do that refer to my pre-advice advice

Took down my face pic after being likened to a desiccating corpse that dies in 1985. Killed thread again

Shall we dance? You did see how bad at dancing Yuk Brynner was in the King and I. I’m better than that but the horizontal variety is more my thing

I loved that film, and I admit I'd still watch it now if it was on the telly box was one of my mum’s favourites- she had a crush on Yuk Brynner too. There you go I have the face only my mother could love

I don't know if you're simply not realising the autocarrot or you've left it in for the giggle factor, but it's made me giggle I tell thee I left it for the giggle - a deliberate Freudian auto-carrot. I’m Yul Brynner’s fugly doppelgänger Yuk.

Oh you, you cheeky monkey!

I'll zap ya if you carry that on. Peown peown peown I’m joking - read the Do Men feel Sexy thread and you’ll see a less tongue in cheek view.

Phew! I thought I was gonna have to open a can of whoopy ass every now and then I need a self-deprecation fix, old habits die hard

I hear ya! Besides, how can people justify taking the piss out of others if they can't take the piss out of themselves? "

You may have noticed my preferred vehicle for taking the piss out of others is by taking the piss out of myself

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Where did your awesome sense of humour come from?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why is it not Friday yet?

Mrscxxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m over 50. Is there still time for my willy to increase and my belly to decrease"

I found out at the ripe old age of 52 that my cock appeared bigger when I lost 3 stones. Probably because I could now see it

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Where did your awesome sense of humour come from? "

I grew it in place of a decent set of tits. Swings n roundabouts

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why is it not Friday yet?

Mrscxxx "

Coz I didn't make the day order up

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m over 50. Is there still time for my willy to increase and my belly to decrease"

If you believe....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How can you get away with murdering a colleague who’s been bitchy trying to get someone the sack?

Asking for a friend

Doughnut "

Kill them with "kindness"

Give them all the sugary foods, all of the chocolate you can find

Death by chocolate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where did your awesome sense of humour come from?

I grew it in place of a decent set of tits. Swings n roundabouts "

I'd prefer the humour

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Where did your awesome sense of humour come from?

I grew it in place of a decent set of tits. Swings n roundabouts

I'd prefer the humour"

Why have you got decent tits Genghis?

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By *uzukiNo1Woman  over a year ago

Rhyl

Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????...

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple  over a year ago

Bloxham


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????..."

Should have said something live for the moment

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????..."

*Shakes head*. Come on P I can’t wait for your advice n this one?

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By *uzukiNo1Woman  over a year ago

Rhyl


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????...

*Shakes head*. Come on P I can’t wait for your advice n this one?"

Why you shaking your noggin?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm seeing someone this evening and I have a bit of a gippy tummy.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Meatloaf said that he would do anything for love but he won't do 'that'..... what is 'that'?

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple  over a year ago

Bloxham


"I'm seeing someone this evening and I have a bit of a gippy tummy. "

Nerves ? If not just don’t do Anal could be a bad move

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????..."

You should have got your snatch out and asked if he was hungry. The other option was to wind your window down sharpish and tell him he dropped something in the store... then hand him your number

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By *uzukiNo1Woman  over a year ago

Rhyl


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????...

You should have got your snatch out and asked if he was hungry. The other option was to wind your window down sharpish and tell him he dropped something in the store... then hand him your number "

Arhhhhhhhh!!!! God dam opportunity missed....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm seeing someone this evening and I have a bit of a gippy tummy. "

I know this is wrong of me and I apologise, but after the thread last night and this morning I actually giggled at you having a gippy tum.

So, following on from my conclusions on the blow job man, you go with the flow, but if he's chowing down on your rug and you get a cramp... just like an aeroplane as it's nose diving "PULL UP, PULL UP"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?"

Depends where you're inserting them

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Meatloaf said that he would do anything for love but he won't do 'that'..... what is 'that'?"

Oh there are so many!

He won't be screwing around behind her back is one of them

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By *emini ManMan  over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Dear Auntie P,

Today I have spent nearly £50 on Tesco own brand Colour Bio washing tablets - am I barking or do I just have too much of an eye for a bargain?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Dear Auntie P,

Today I have spent nearly £50 on Tesco own brand Colour Bio washing tablets - am I barking or do I just have too much of an eye for a bargain? "

Jeepers. That would depend how long it's gonna last. If you have a years worth then that's a quality move.

I've never used it myself so can't comment on it's cleaning ability, but if it's shit then flog it at a boot sale for more than you paid.

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By *emini ManMan  over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Dear Auntie P,

Today I have spent nearly £50 on Tesco own brand Colour Bio washing tablets - am I barking or do I just have too much of an eye for a bargain?

Jeepers. That would depend how long it's gonna last. If you have a years worth then that's a quality move.

I've never used it myself so can't comment on it's cleaning ability, but if it's shit then flog it at a boot sale for more than you paid."

Sage advice as always

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?

Depends where you're inserting them "

Genuine lols

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Dear Auntie P,

Today I have spent nearly £50 on Tesco own brand Colour Bio washing tablets - am I barking or do I just have too much of an eye for a bargain?

Jeepers. That would depend how long it's gonna last. If you have a years worth then that's a quality move.

I've never used it myself so can't comment on it's cleaning ability, but if it's shit then flog it at a boot sale for more than you paid.

Sage advice as always "

Get the onion version on Sundays

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?

Depends where you're inserting them

Genuine lols"

What can I say, you set me up for that one, it was gifted

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By *obbytupperMan  over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?"

Put them in where?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Aunty P, is it time to put my runner beans in yet?

Put them in where? "

My propogator

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hey Auntie P

What do you do when somebody you are talking to calls you 'Carebear'? Lol x

Thankies

Asking for a friend in every way......honestly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Should I follow the rules?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hey Auntie P

What do you do when somebody you are talking to calls you 'Carebear'? Lol x

Thankies

Asking for a friend in every way......honestly "

You squeeze your tummy of course and let the love fly out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh fuck.. I forgot about this thread!?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Should I follow the rules? "

Depends who made them and what they are. Some bending may be allowed but breaking is only acceptable in emergencies.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should I follow the rules?

Depends who made them and what they are. Some bending may be allowed but breaking is only acceptable in emergencies."

No breaking for fun then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Should I follow the rules?

Depends who made them and what they are. Some bending may be allowed but breaking is only acceptable in emergencies.

No breaking for fun then? "

Depends if you are DISCREEEETE

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Should I follow the rules?

Depends who made them and what they are. Some bending may be allowed but breaking is only acceptable in emergencies.

No breaking for fun then?

Depends if you are DISCREEEETE"

What, you mean married....?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Should I follow the rules?

Depends who made them and what they are. Some bending may be allowed but breaking is only acceptable in emergencies.

No breaking for fun then?

Depends if you are DISCREEEETE

What, you mean married....? "

That wasn't where I was heading but you can run with it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Today I visited a local supermarket, at the next til was a guy, nice looking etc...I looked up and he was looking at me I looked away looked back he was still looking....I payed for my things left, as I was reversing out my space he walked past my car and smiled at me....omgggggg what a smile!!!! Should I have stopped and said hello or was it just one of those brief encounters?????...

*Shakes head*. Come on P I can’t wait for your advice n this one?

Why you shaking your noggin? "

I thought you might have seized the day

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By *obbytupperMan  over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Dear Auntie P,

When should I start acting my age? Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Dear Auntie P,

When should I start acting my age? Xxx"

Now Bobster, now. Do you realise acting like a 69 is a gift. Mutual oral sex for a whole year and when people say "Tupper dear Gent, will you please act your age" you can simply reply.... "I am"

Other than that *blows raspberry* when you're dead.

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By *obbytupperMan  over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"Dear Auntie P,

When should I start acting my age? Xxx

Now Bobster, now. Do you realise acting like a 69 is a gift. Mutual oral sex for a whole year and when people say "Tupper dear Gent, will you please act your age" you can simply reply.... "I am"

Other than that *blows raspberry* when you're dead.

"

Now that's something new blowing raspberries during oral. I will try that tomorrow and let you know how it goes. Thank you Auntie P. Xxx

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By *edbath 5Man  over a year ago

london


"I’m over 50. Is there still time for my willy to increase and my belly to decrease

I found out at the ripe old age of 52 that my cock appeared bigger when I lost 3 stones. Probably because I could now see it "

Well done btw

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How do I speed up the day of work so I can crawl into my pit quicker? Sleepy Ghengis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do I speed up the day of work so I can crawl into my pit quicker? Sleepy Ghengis."

Change the times on all the clocks at work. Boom

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport? "

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios "

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

"

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P "

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye" "

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me "

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya "

Friendship goal right there

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there "

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me "

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Come on then peeps, what's bothering you?

I'll give you some sage P advice, first thing that pops into my head, which I recommend you do not take on board..... unless I have a genius moment of course.

P"

Have you got an Auntie P too? Maybe it's an Uncle B. Someone looking out for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Come on then peeps, what's bothering you?

I'll give you some sage P advice, first thing that pops into my head, which I recommend you do not take on board..... unless I have a genius moment of course.

P

Have you got an Auntie P too? Maybe it's an Uncle B. Someone looking out for you. "

Serious time, yes I do. I have a few forumites whom I trust to be brutally honest with me, who I can tell anything to and know they won't be anything other than understanding. I value them so so dearly.

They always seem to know when I'm feeling blue, struggling with something and like the angels they are, they tend to pop up just at the right time.

I thank and treasure them from the bottom of my heart

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Come on then peeps, what's bothering you?

I'll give you some sage P advice, first thing that pops into my head, which I recommend you do not take on board..... unless I have a genius moment of course.

P

Have you got an Auntie P too? Maybe it's an Uncle B. Someone looking out for you.

Serious time, yes I do. I have a few forumites whom I trust to be brutally honest with me, who I can tell anything to and know they won't be anything other than understanding. I value them so so dearly.

They always seem to know when I'm feeling blue, struggling with something and like the angels they are, they tend to pop up just at the right time.

I thank and treasure them from the bottom of my heart "

Glad you have them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Come on then peeps, what's bothering you?

I'll give you some sage P advice, first thing that pops into my head, which I recommend you do not take on board..... unless I have a genius moment of course.

P

Have you got an Auntie P too? Maybe it's an Uncle B. Someone looking out for you.

Serious time, yes I do. I have a few forumites whom I trust to be brutally honest with me, who I can tell anything to and know they won't be anything other than understanding. I value them so so dearly.

They always seem to know when I'm feeling blue, struggling with something and like the angels they are, they tend to pop up just at the right time.

I thank and treasure them from the bottom of my heart

Glad you have them. "

I'd like to think you have an angel or 2.

People who genuinely care ya know. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X "

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x "

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x "

To be fair you already sound scary now you added to the scare factor

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work."

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

To be fair you already sound scary now you added to the scare factor "

Ah dude I'm a pussy cat.......with axes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour "

Nah, chopper jokes can't beat my buy-curios one

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour

Nah, chopper jokes can't beat my buy-curios one "

Buy-curious wins the day. Fucking genius

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour

Nah, chopper jokes can't beat my buy-curios one

Buy-curious wins the day. Fucking genius "

Damn skippy!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dear Auntie P,

I'm told I look better in real life than I do in my pics.

Do I:

a. Accept that as a compliment?

b. Stop sending mug shots?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Dear Auntie P,

I'm told I look better in real life than I do in my pics.

Do I:

a. Accept that as a compliment?

b. Stop sending mug shots?"

You take some comedy photos, I recommend a Hitler moustachio and sombrero. Send those ones out as mug shots

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour

Nah, chopper jokes can't beat my buy-curios one

Buy-curious wins the day. Fucking genius "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do I go swimming or antique shopping in Southport?

Antique shopping won't make you gay, but it will make you buy-curios

fuck it, you can totally have that one, I got nothing better. I salute you!

Fanks! I feel on top form today Aunty P

Yaaaaaay

I'm feeling a damn site better than I did yesterday.

Run with your form, or as Jessie would say "run like the wind Bullseye"

Run? Wtf?! If you ever see me running, you'll need to run too cos there'll be something fecking scary chasing me

I'll stand firm and bosh it square on the nose. I got ya

Friendship goal right there

B saw my "don't fuck" face yesterday, I don't know if he was slightly scared or slightly turned on that I won't let something beat me no matter how the odds are tipped against me

May the odds be ever in your favour! X

Does it help I'm antique shopping for axes? Lol no? x

I pictured you hunting down extra mature women with their fannies out.

Not sure if it came from my thought of battle axe or axe wound, but they both work.

Lmao x I expected lots of 'chopper' jokes from my 'buy curios' behaviour

Nah, chopper jokes can't beat my buy-curios one

Buy-curious wins the day. Fucking genius

"

Well I'm off to buy-curios anyway so its very apt too

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