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Misunderstood
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Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
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Happens quite often but more so online as you just can't get across some things in a message, I wouldn't say I change but I might sometimes type a message out different to how I'd say something in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If everyone got you you'd be a boring cunt, js.....
....you can't please everyone and when you do eventually stumble into a person or people who get you then that's when the magic happens...
I often feel like a fly with some ppl, like I'm living on a different timescale, I'm like hurry the fuck up ffs....
(strictly opinion based advice, I take no responsibility for loss or damages caused due to following this advice, nor do I recommend it because then you'd be like me and I like being the only me) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and no. The forums are very cliquey and most people are wrapped up in talking to their friends or jockeying for position.
So I don't expect people to get to get to know me, let alone "get" me. But I won't adopt a forum persona, although my partner says I sound more clinical and less fun than I am in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's fine to adjust your behaviour depending on who you're interacting with in order to get the best out of a situation. Mirror them a little and they often open up and you might realise they're more like you than you originally thought.
Yvw |
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
"
On here I’d agree with you.
However, in life I surround myself with those who generally ‘get me’ and likewise I ‘get them’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm me. Me on here, me out there. Otherwise I just think it starts anything on false pretences. Good to be yourself. But we all have digital masks we wear. Whatever people are comfy with, best way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm me. Me on here, me out there. Otherwise I just think it starts anything on false pretences. Good to be yourself. But we all have digital masks we wear. Whatever people are comfy with, best way. "
And we all  you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm me. Me on here, me out there. Otherwise I just think it starts anything on false pretences. Good to be yourself. But we all have digital masks we wear. Whatever people are comfy with, best way.
And we all you "
That's debatable brother, but ty dude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wtf is normal anyway. I've never got that word . We are who we are.
There are lots of awesome people in here . And there are a few complete fuckwits too  "
No such thing as normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's fine to adjust your behaviour depending on who you're interacting with in order to get the best out of a situation. Mirror them a little and they often open up and you might realise they're more like you than you originally thought.
Yvw"
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These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most. "
Perfect reply but then the ego creeped in and you joined the rest of us with the last line which killed all the value..... |
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"These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most. "
The question was actually more rhetorical; the self perceived notion of alienation as a result of our intrinsic individuality.
We are of course, all special and unique. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
"
Sod everyone else |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Has anyone tried to adopt a different persona?? How successfully can this be done in reality? I'm equating this behaviour to The Talented Mr Ripley or Catch Me If You Can. You're essentially faking who you really are unless I'm missing something. Maybe the reality is that there can be various nuances in how you behave. I have never tried to modify my personality though. The exception is job interviews and on dates but only very recently for the latter.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most. "
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most.
"
Covered in saliva and felt tips with suspicious looking stains? |
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"These threads always do my head in. It's about pointing out how you are so special and complex and very difficult to understand.
Me, I'm the equivalent of a book for three year olds, piss easy to understand. Like most.
The question was actually more rhetorical; the self perceived notion of alienation as a result of our intrinsic individuality.
We are of course, all special and unique."
I'm not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ill occasionally shave the beard if that constitutes as conforming but mostly im simply myself probably why i have zero luck but id rather be me with only a handful of meets then a conformed person who has hundreds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Understanding comes with a form of communication. I find not many on here like to adopt that simple rule or then I maybe wrong, just an assumption I make from my time on Fab.
Until then most will always feel misunderstood. And if like me say it how it is until someone understands.
After all that I am still probably misunderstood  |
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
"
On here , big time !
Very few people on here get me , and I am often vilified for no good reason as people think I lack empathy , I’m too right wing , I don’t like change etc.....
In real life I have absolutely no problem with anyone and everyone gets me . I’m the almost complete opposite of the persona I seem to have created on here . I’m known as the most open minded and fair person by so many people !
It could be that in real life we get the opportunity to associate ourselves with people we know we get with though . Likewise we avoid those who are completely the opposite to us . On here it’s just whoever is online and using the forum at any given time that we are associating with . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Completely get this, we do amazing at parties and in person but we might aswell not exist here to the people we’re into or even just these forums, socially!! But not going to change for narrow mindedness ,, I,, am what I am,, and what I am,, needs no excuses!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
"
Do people 'get you'? |
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
Do people 'get you'?"
"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
Do people 'get you'?"
No - I run too fast
But seriously though, for anyone not ‘getting me’ I hold up my hands in guilt for in my case at least, I’d wager that any misunderstanding and/or confusion is actually the result of lack of communication on my part.
Oh....and the fact that I’m a miserable curmudgeon (I have soooo wanted to slip that delightful word into a sentence since the recent thread) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are very few on the forum that "get me". I'm perfectly cool with that. I'll carry on in my own way as I don't get most others either. It works both ways. |
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"Happens quite often but more so online as you just can't get across some things in a message, I wouldn't say I change but I might sometimes type a message out different to how I'd say something in person."
Amen to that Do you do exact same  |
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"Yes and no. The forums are very cliquey and most people are wrapped up in talking to their friends or jockeying for position.
So I don't expect people to get to get to know me, let alone "get" me. But I won't adopt a forum persona, although my partner says I sound more clinical and less fun than I am in real life "
No stay as you are. you can always add a little cheekiness on the top. No one can be you except you and everybody else can do a funny jump. |
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"Folk who moan "people don't get me" in my experience tend to be boring fuckers with an inflated estimation of their personality.
But hey that's just my life experience and opinion
Mr 2-4 "
Wow it funny how I so get that love it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel no need to change how I am for people to "get me". But I do respond better on line than in person as there is more time to think of a reply so it comes out a little more polished. I am quite a quiet person and can't think of responses sometimes as quickly as I'd like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you ever feel that nobody quite ‘gets you’ i.e understands you on here (and indeed, in life in general)?
Do you subsequently ever feel the compulsion to conform by adopting a more subjectively estimated ‘normal’ persona or are you more of a, ‘sod everyone else, I’ll revel in my individuality and act however I want’ type of persona?
"
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken (OW) If you're nothing but yourself you'll soon catch yourself out.
That said sometimes it's good to try and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Trying to be anything but myself is too exhausting |
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People make assumptions about me on here and the real world all the time, I don't conform to people's expectations. Constantly judged but love to prove people's perceptions wrong once they know me. |
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