FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When they say women don't fart...

When they say women don't fart...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've just witnessed a gorgeous woman with what sounded like a wookie trying to escape her arse....

I just looked at her and gave her a round of applause.... Never seen someone go red so quick haha....

I found it pretty impressive so I told her, so we got talking a little and I asked her if she was busy and if she fancied going for a drink.... But she politely said no she had a boyfriend but she would of if she was single.

Quite an odd way to meet someone isn't it? Hahaha

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

Arhhhhhhhh thts sweet.....

I think...sort of ish...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge. "

I think you’ll find it was a fanny fart which was brought on by some twat spending hours filling her muff up with saliva as he couldn’t find her clit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x"

When I’ve stayed over a guys house or had a guy stay here I’ve woke up in the early hours and said I needed something from my car and gone outside to fart in the car. Always keep wetwipes in the glovebox to wipe off the fart vapour.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

Howling ere .....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

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By *etite HandfulWoman over a year ago

Chester

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge. "

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

Amen to that!

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By *lceeWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x"

Oh god, this! Excruciating long weekend in the Derbyshire Dales with my regular left me running for the loos at Derby station the second I walked away from him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

I actually think something doesn’t smell quite right about this story.

A gorgeous woman farts in public, gets a round of appalause off the op, says no to meeting but that she would have had she been single. I don’t buy it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*crying with laughter emoji*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

Oh god, this! Excruciating long weekend in the Derbyshire Dales with my regular left me running for the loos at Derby station the second I walked away from him

Honest to god it was the worst sometimes!! I don’t know what I preferred when I met my ex husband I couldn’t eat in front of him for weeks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't see what's the big deal about farting and number2.

If both smell like dead animals to the point where it's embarrassing - time to seriously adjust the diet.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Sorry OP I don't believe this happened. A gorgeous woman wouldn't do such a thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

Everyone on here knows mine are joke threads, which pretty much most people with any intelligence get. If you think they are serious that you obviously new or humourless.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm lucky that my farts don't smell. I can be sitting right next to a man and secretly let one out, and he will be none the wiser.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't see what's the big deal about farting and number2.

If both smell like dead animals to the point where it's embarrassing - time to seriously adjust the diet.

I don’t think it was the smell issue it was the sounds

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

Yea, there's no blaming the dog for those loud ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

Everyone on here knows mine are joke threads, which pretty much most people with any intelligence get. If you think they are serious that you obviously new or humourless. "

Stretching the definition of "joke" a bit there..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry OP I don't believe this happened. A gorgeous woman wouldn't do such a thing."
yes.... Women dont fart do they haha

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By *lceeWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

Oh god, this! Excruciating long weekend in the Derbyshire Dales with my regular left me running for the loos at Derby station the second I walked away from him

Honest to god it was the worst sometimes!! I don’t know what I preferred when I met my ex husband I couldn’t eat in front of him for weeks

Ahhhh...I get over that one by dragging my guys to a soup noodle place for the first time meeting. I’m too busy giggling at their face trying to navigate chopsticks, slippy noodles and a soup spoon to worry about my own disaster zone *grins*. My other half will attest to this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

Yea, there's no blaming the dog for those loud ones. "

Always carry a small dog in a handbag as fart decoys

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

You'll be laughing for a week if u heard my QE2 fog horns then...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

Oh god, this! Excruciating long weekend in the Derbyshire Dales with my regular left me running for the loos at Derby station the second I walked away from him

Honest to god it was the worst sometimes!! I don’t know what I preferred when I met my ex husband I couldn’t eat in front of him for weeks

When I met Ads one of our first dates was to a Chinese then when I went to his a few weeks later we had a twenty inch pizza together so, yeah the not eating thing wasn’t an issue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

Yea, there's no blaming the dog for those loud ones. "

Definitely not! It was pretty funny tho and after she go over the embarrassment she seen the funny side...

Also to all you ladies that don't fart in front of your partners Hope he falls asleep before you... Wouldn't be the first time I've been falling asleep to be awoken by what can only be described as a trumpet.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

Imagine if this thing progress quickly and you had the opportunity to bed this girl pull down your trousers and drop your pants to expose a penis with a face drawn on it...

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Sorry OP I don't believe this happened. A gorgeous woman wouldn't do such a thing. yes.... Women dont fart do they haha "

Of course they do. I just don't believe your scenario.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

"How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

16 yes she still doesn't think it's acceptable to pass wind in front of me..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just witnessed a gorgeous woman with what sounded like a wookie trying to escape her arse....

I just looked at her and gave her a round of applause.... Never seen someone go red so quick haha....

Quite an odd way to meet someone isn't it? Hahaha"

At least it wasn't in a closed train carriage on the way to Bavaria

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

Years..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

Yea, there's no blaming the dog for those loud ones.

Always carry a small dog in a handbag as fart decoys

And we have discovered why Chihuahuas were bred....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"First time my ex partner farted infront of me she looked at me horrified and whispered "I thought that was going to be silent"

I was buckled for ages... After that it wasn't an issue

You'll be laughing for a week if u heard my QE2 fog horns then...

That you I hear outside!? I thought we got a new fog warning signal! :P

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

We’ve been together for over eight years and my wife has never farted in front of me .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Imagine if this thing progress quickly and you had the opportunity to bed this girl pull down your trousers and drop your pants to expose a penis with a face drawn on it...

"
hey it's a blank canvas now haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First time my wife floated an air biscuit in my prescence was walking back from the pub after we'd been together 2 years. She sneaked it out but I was breathing in at the time and it nearly floored me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

We’ve been together for over eight years and my wife has never farted in front of me ."

Not even silently and blamed it on the dog/cat?

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I must confess to only ever accidentally passing wind in front of a partner. In my sleep doesn’t count right?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x

I think that's very considerate of you

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

Ahh, that feeling when you've just started seeing somebody, have a nice lingering kiss goodnight, spend ages saying goodnight on the doorstep, get back to your car and let it that howler that's been brewing for the last 4 hours.

Glad it's not just is guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't fart in public I think it's disgusting I save them all up untill I get home. I work in a very blokey office so they are often pumping away something rotten.

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

"First time my wife floated an air biscuit in my prescence was walking back from the pub after we'd been together 2 years. She sneaked it out but I was breathing in at the time and it nearly floored me."

Pmsl!!!

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

We’ve been together for over eight years and my wife has never farted in front of me .

Not even silently and blamed it on the dog/cat?"

Nope , she gets up , leaves the room and does it . I can honestly say I’ve never heard or smelled a fart from her .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How long into a relationship before it becomes acceptable to fart in front of a partner is what I want to know?

Minutes? Days? Weeks? Months?

We’ve been together for over eight years and my wife has never farted in front of me .

Not even silently and blamed it on the dog/cat?

Nope , she gets up , leaves the room and does it . I can honestly say I’ve never heard or smelled a fart from her . "

That's the ladylike way to do it.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Some bird with a butt plug in woke me up by farting.

Too embarrassed to tell her.

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

"The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had a girlfriend that used to let rip every morning like a flock of starlings taking off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I save mine for those in work who love me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I save mine for those in work who love me

I'm sure they love you very much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some bird with a butt plug in woke me up by farting.

Too embarrassed to tell her.

How do you fart with a butt plug in?

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Some bird with a butt plug in woke me up by farting.

Too embarrassed to tell her.

How do you fart with a butt plug in? "
Fuck knows haha.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some bird with a butt plug in woke me up by farting.

Too embarrassed to tell her.

How do you fart with a butt plug in? "

Was thinking the same thing it must have shot off like a missile.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard."

Also those painful ones that build up when sitting in a car with other passengers (whom you are holding the gaseous monster in because of); Good God though - the release feels utterly heavenly when you finally manage to get out and hobble off somewhere private to let rip (provided one doesn’t also follow through of course....)

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"Some bird with a butt plug in woke me up by farting.

Too embarrassed to tell her.

How do you fart with a butt plug in? Fuck knows haha."

Did the butt plug fly out and hit you ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

I do believe he was just joking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I save mine for those in work who love me

I'm sure they love you very much

Not when they’re stood next to me they don’t....

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I’m usually on farting terms with someone within an hour or so of meeting them

Who doesn’t find farting funny?

V x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m usually on farting terms with someone within an hour or so of meeting them

Who doesn’t find farting funny?

V x "

The person trapped in the lift with you during a particularly vile farting episode.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you preach!

Amen to that! "

How can you say that?

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

"I save mine for those in work who love me

I'm sure they love you very much

Not when they’re stood next to me they don’t....

Just tell them to take deep breaths, it goes quicker

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By *uzukiNo1Woman over a year ago

Rhyl

"I save mine for those in work who love me

I'm sure they love you very much

Not when they’re stood next to me they don’t....

Just tell them to take deep breaths, it goes quicker

Breath through the mouth!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard.

That's why I'm so glad I can do silent and no smell farts. It's a blessing at times.

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

The person trapped in the lift with you during a particularly vile farting episode."

Tell me they happened to you.

I'm dying here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The worse ones are when you're being hammered by a cock and you feel it building up.

You can't clench while you're being fucked into the headboard.

That's why I'm so glad I can do silent and no smell farts. It's a blessing at times. "

Not even smelling of roses, that’s a shame

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ask B, I would NEVER let rip in front of him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I save mine for those in work who love me

I'm sure they love you very much

Not when they’re stood next to me they don’t....

Just tell them to take deep breaths, it goes quicker

They normally need resuscitating by that point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I could tell a story but would hate to shatter any illusions that I could possibly do anything else except little puffs of glitter....

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By *s_macWoman over a year ago

Traffic land

"When I first met Ads I couldn’t fart or take a number two in the same building as him, weekends at his was a killer until I felt comfy enough!

Danish x"

My best friend who moved in with her new man in September was until fairly recently “popping out” (to mine!!) if she needed to go.

She also farts louder and longer than anyone I have ever known!

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Just imagine the scene; Two powerful leaders engaged in last minute talks around the table to avert an imminent war between their countries. Things are going badly.....until one lets rip with an almighty fart. Everyone obviously starts laughing hysterically and everyone becomes friends. The End

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"I’m usually on farting terms with someone within an hour or so of meeting them

Who doesn’t find farting funny?

V x

The person trapped in the lift with you during a particularly vile farting episode."

Oh but that’s the funniest of all.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fart but not in public!

Plus my wind smells like cherries x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could tell a story but would hate to shatter any illusions that I could possibly do anything else except little puffs of glitter....

Sounds like a possible shart scenario.

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

"I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump?

(you're welcome for that image next time you're watching the news)

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

You shouldn't hold your farts in.

Or, they'll travel upto your brain and give you shitty ideas

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I started taking Protien shakes and bars for a while and farted at a friend's house while we were playing boardgames, Literally cleared the room while windows were opened (secretly proud). They didn't believe it was the protien bars so I gave one to a friend and woke up to a text the next morning "yeah OK it was the Protien bar almost killed - insert her husbands name- last night when we went to bed"

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump?

(you're welcome for that image next time you're watching the news) "

Trump releases an all American fart which additionally induces added mirth as his wig/comb-over flies right across the room with the might of the resulting gust

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge. "

Wow arn't you big and clever bravo!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I could tell a story but would hate to shatter any illusions that I could possibly do anything else except little puffs of glitter....

Sounds like a possible shart scenario."

Hahaha....gotta luvre the word shart

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

Wow arn't you big and clever bravo! "

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question."

Ahhh, the hallowed 3-tone...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question."

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump?

(you're welcome for that image next time you're watching the news)

Trump releases an all American fart which additionally induces added mirth as his wig/comb-over flies right across the room with the might of the resulting gust

And plays the Star Spangled Banner out of his arse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I fart but not in public!

Plus my wind smells like cherries x"

They'll be the cherry lube

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you giant peach!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apparently it's not a fart but a 'fragrant botty burp'.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

Ahhh, the hallowed 3-tone... "

My proudest one ever sounded a bit like the ominous rising tone that advertises the surround sound in cinemas (THX?) - That was truly mighty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Save it for Stories and fantasies buddy, this is the lounge.

That's rich from a guy who puts up more fantasy threads than Roald Dahl. Maybe you should practice what you giant peach!

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that! "

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

My proudest one ever sounded a bit like the ominous rising tone that advertises the surround sound in cinemas (THX?) - That was truly mighty

I prostrate myself at your feet sir!

You know what, we should ask get together and turn a band. Or maybe record them and put them into a mix

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump?

(you're welcome for that image next time you're watching the news)

Trump releases an all American fart which additionally induces added mirth as his wig/comb-over flies right across the room with the might of the resulting gust

And plays the Star Spangled Banner out of his arse."

Whilst holding his hand fervently on his heart no doubt

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

My proudest one ever sounded a bit like the ominous rising tone that advertises the surround sound in cinemas (THX?) - That was truly mighty

I prostrate myself at your feet sir!

You know what, we should all get together and form a band. Or maybe record them and put them into a mix

"
(damn swipe keyboard!)

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

My proudest one ever sounded a bit like the ominous rising tone that advertises the surround sound in cinemas (THX?) - That was truly mighty

I prostrate myself at your feet sir!

You know what, we should ask get together and turn a band. Or maybe record them and put them into a mix

I think we should record them and post them to an audio-sample site such as SoundBible - there must be a demand for our talents surely?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I firmly believe that the humble fart could prove to serve as the key for world peace;

Wait - hear my logic out for a moment; farting is considered universally funny right?

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump?

(you're welcome for that image next time you're watching the news)

Trump releases an all American fart which additionally induces added mirth as his wig/comb-over flies right across the room with the might of the resulting gust

And plays the Star Spangled Banner out of his arse.

Whilst holding his hand fervently on his heart no doubt

That pained look on his face

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

Moving farts are awesome - each step (and subsequent buttock parting) releasing that highly satisfying sound of a mini combustion. And damn - they can go on for ages to. I swear, I took one ongoing one to the very end of my road once

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

Awesome ain't they

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

I used to fancy you

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

20 years on we still laugh at my Nan's "old lady farts" - where she'd get up from her chair and fart, then walk to the kitchen farting on each step but be oblivious she was doing them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The most scariest fart I held in was about 4 hours at a lasses house, the pain got so bad I just had to go to her toilet and let it go..... It was the most loudest and longest fart I've ever done..... She just looked at me in disgust . ......

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The most scariest fart I held in was about 4 hours at a lasses house, the pain got so bad I just had to go to her toilet and let it go..... It was the most loudest and longest fart I've ever done..... She just looked at me in disgust . ......

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog.""

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

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By *eeroybrownMan over a year ago

aldershot

I used to fancy you

Why stop? Think of that evening you could both share comparing sounds and smells. Properly romantic

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

I used to fancy you

What about what I call, ‘Serpent Farts’?

They sort of ‘hiss’ in a menacing manner (and are often hot to pass)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"20 years on we still laugh at my Nan's "old lady farts" - where she'd get up from her chair and fart, then walk to the kitchen farting on each step but be oblivious she was doing them. "

My mum did that at the eye clinic. We stood up and I was leading her to the doctor's room and she left a trail of farts in the half full waiting room.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

I used to fancy you

What about what I call, ‘Serpent Farts’?

They sort of ‘hiss’ in a menacing manner (and are often hot to pass)

Ruining my fantasy now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

I used to fancy you

What about what I call, ‘Serpent Farts’?

They sort of ‘hiss’ in a menacing manner (and are often hot to pass)

Where you need to check if you've shit coz the burn can't be real from merely air? But to your relief it really was just hot air.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

"
mhmmmmm .... I most certainly did I always sit down ... Just in case shit happens in those situations.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog.""

I have a tip for such painful expulsions; If one places ones fist against ones bum (and via some clenching/release) you can let it out in bursts.

Next tip though - wash that hand afterwards - the residual stench can linger on it for a considerable time......

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Who can fail to laugh at those farts which raise in tone during their expulsion? You know the ones:

They swiftly rise about three octaves and consequently sound as though one’s arse is actually asking a question.

As soon as I started reading I was gonna say they sound like they're asking a question

I knew I couldn't be the only one that thought that!

I also love the ‘Tractor Start Up’ type which actively speed up as they come out.

You know......’Brum-Brum-brum-brum-brum!’

And the running up the stairs ones that seemingly just fall out

I used to fancy you

What about what I call, ‘Serpent Farts’?

They sort of ‘hiss’ in a menacing manner (and are often hot to pass)

Where you need to check if you've shit coz the burn can't be real from merely air? But to your relief it really was just hot air."
.

That’s the type

A quick check in the undies and a huge sigh of relief that it was merely a drill.....this time

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

Remember the old plastic chairs at school? They were like awesome bass boosters when farted upon.

It was even better if the seat was a bit loose as it created extra reverb to the already thunderous sound to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

mhmmmmm .... I most certainly did I always sit down ... Just in case shit happens in those situations."

Makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

Remember the old plastic chairs at school? They were like awesome bass boosters when farted upon.

It was even better if the seat was a bit loose as it created extra reverb to the already thunderous sound to

We only had wooden. I'm old.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

Remember the old plastic chairs at school? They were like awesome bass boosters when farted upon.

It was even better if the seat was a bit loose as it created extra reverb to the already thunderous sound to

Like they were slapping you back for daring to trump on them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

Remember the old plastic chairs at school? They were like awesome bass boosters when farted upon.

It was even better if the seat was a bit loose as it created extra reverb to the already thunderous sound to

"
the awkwardness during an assembly on those chairs.... When it silent I would find it funny to let one go ... Just to ruin the silence haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And let's not forget bath farts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts."

When you're laying down and it bubbles out from your cheeks and does a bubbly crawl up your back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Buth they cant cockfart

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts."

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them "

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them "
must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either."

Mine rarely smell. I read if they stink it's diet related, if they don't it's to do with ingested air through laughing etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either.

Mine rarely smell. I read if they stink it's diet related, if they don't it's to do with ingested air through laughing etc "

I hardly ever laugh though.

I don't eat much meat, which I think contributes to smell.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Soooooooooo .... Got any air freshener? I may of just nuked your bog."

You didn't make the mistake of sitting on the toilet to fart? That amplifies the sound

Remember the old plastic chairs at school? They were like awesome bass boosters when farted upon.

It was even better if the seat was a bit loose as it created extra reverb to the already thunderous sound to

the awkwardness during an assembly on those chairs.... When it silent I would find it funny to let one go ... Just to ruin the silence haha"

I remember during my final exams at school, in a crowded hall, someone (who to this day has never been identified) let fly with an arse ripper of truly epic proportions. It literally took about ten minutes for the teachers to calm everyone down from laughing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell"

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"And let's not forget bath farts."

There’s a fascinating science behind the bubbling, malodorous majesty of the dreaded bathfart.....

The smell actually often travels faster than a normal one as there is no protective material (clothes) to muzzle them - thus they literally fly out at speed in the bubbles. The heat of the bath itself also causes the fart to rise more swiftly also.

...Well.....I thought it was interesting at least

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....

The person trapped in the lift with you during a particularly vile farting episode."

Wrong on so many levels

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"....

The person trapped in the lift with you during a particularly vile farting episode.

Wrong on so many levels

No escape.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

School days ......

Fart in your hand .....

Release it where u want .....

Under ur palls nose .......

Guff cups ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

There’s a fascinating science behind the bubbling, malodorous majesty of the dreaded bathfart.....

...Well.....I thought it was interesting at least

They do make a satisfying sound. So I've heard; I wouldn't do anything as uncouth as farting in a bath

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"School days ......

Fart in your hand .....

Release it where u want .....

Under ur palls nose .......

Guff cups ....

I always thought it was called a cupcake?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?"
yes its fantastic u get the occasional backfire but its still worth it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

There’s a fascinating science behind the bubbling, malodorous majesty of the dreaded bathfart.....

...Well.....I thought it was interesting at least

You are the bathing expert on fabs

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?yes its fantastic u get the occasional backfire but its still worth it

I like it when it tickles my hairline.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum."

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp."

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?yes its fantastic u get the occasional backfire but its still worth it

I like it when it tickles my hairline. "
fuck me that would be a challenge for me nowadays

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!"

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either.

Mine rarely smell. I read if they stink it's diet related, if they don't it's to do with ingested air through laughing etc "

And I wouldn't know in any case as I'm yet to witness you blasting one out in my presence anyway...

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!"

Whoops! Sorry - I misread that as a ‘Bed’ fart

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart....."

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?yes its fantastic u get the occasional backfire but its still worth it

I like it when it tickles my hairline. fuck me that would be a challenge for me nowadays

Squeeze your bum cheeks and push it up through your thighs into your pubes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them must be a woman thing mine just give a gentle back tickle no smell

can you get a fart to travel right up your back to your neck?yes its fantastic u get the occasional backfire but its still worth it

I like it when it tickles my hairline. fuck me that would be a challenge for me nowadays

Squeeze your bum cheeks and push it up through your thighs into your pubes

"
ooo good plan

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either.

Mine rarely smell. I read if they stink it's diet related, if they don't it's to do with ingested air through laughing etc

And I wouldn't know in any case as I'm yet to witness you blasting one out in my presence anyway...

Cheers babe, I owe ya 2 blow jobs for that and I promise to cork my botty for the duration.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank. "

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And let's not forget bath farts.

They fucking stink. Death bombs coz the hot water cooks them

Mine still don't smell, even in the bath. I don't know why either.

Mine rarely smell. I read if they stink it's diet related, if they don't it's to do with ingested air through laughing etc

And I wouldn't know in any case as I'm yet to witness you blasting one out in my presence anyway...

Cheers babe, I owe ya 2 blow jobs for that and I promise to cork my botty for the duration.

What a deal!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well I'm heading off now, it's been great company with you all , hope you all enjoy the rest of your night, I'll set up a PT.2 just in case this one fills and close.

Take care all x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I'm heading off now, it's been great company with you all , hope you all enjoy the rest of your night, I'll set up a PT.2 just in case this one fills and close.

Take care all x"

Night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I miss having a car but I don’t miss being in a confined space with my three boys and Ads, I am amazed there wasn’t an accident sometimes

Danish x

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Well I'm heading off now, it's been great company with you all , hope you all enjoy the rest of your night, I'll set up a PT.2 just in case this one fills and close.

Take care all x"

Sleep well sir

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?"

I smoke (more than I care to admit) and I rarely fart, sometimes they honk but that’s more to do with what I’ve eaten tbh.

Danish x

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?"

I don’t believe it holds a huge influence on the smell of farts as they stem from the digestive system as opposed to the respiratory.

Having said that, the continual intake of puffs of the smoke may nonetheless enter the system (and descend into the lower diaphragm) which may actively increase the frequency of flatulence.

The science of the fart is indeed an intriguing one

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?

I don’t believe it holds a huge influence on the smell of farts as they stem from the digestive system as opposed to the respiratory.

Having said that, the continual intake of puffs of the smoke may nonetheless enter the system (and descend into the lower diaphragm) which may actively increase the frequency of flatulence.

The science of the fart is indeed an intriguing one

I ate the same as my husband yet his farts stank and mine didn't. The only thing different was the amount we ate and he smoked.

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?

I don’t believe it holds a huge influence on the smell of farts as they stem from the digestive system as opposed to the respiratory.

Having said that, the continual intake of puffs of the smoke may nonetheless enter the system (and descend into the lower diaphragm) which may actively increase the frequency of flatulence.

The science of the fart is indeed an intriguing one

I ate the same as my husband yet his farts stank and mine didn't. The only thing different was the amount we ate and he smoked.

Although I’m unsure of the exact reason, it is commonly held that men tend to produce the most offensive smells.

We’re all rotten on the inside I guess

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Also.....a quick question: What is more vulgar to release in a public place: A burp or a fart?

My friends opt for burp but I’m going with a fart as it comes from the bum.

A burp is nose level, so I'm going with burp.

A bad fart can travel upwards at an alarming speed....!!

I think it’s the heat principle at work again; The warm air (inside the duvet) causes an augmentation to the farts speed of travel.

By gum - they can remain potent for literally ages to, trapped under the covers.

There is of course linked to this, the rather obscene technique of the so called, Dutch Oven Fart.....

That's one thing I don't miss about being married. My husband's farts were rank.

Did he eat a lot of meat? Meat eaters generally produce smellier farts as opposed to vegetarians who’s farts generally smell less although who do tend to fart more frequently.

....Or so I have read

Not an inordinate amount. Does smoking affect smell?

I don’t believe it holds a huge influence on the smell of farts as they stem from the digestive system as opposed to the respiratory.

Having said that, the continual intake of puffs of the smoke may nonetheless enter the system (and descend into the lower diaphragm) which may actively increase the frequency of flatulence.

The science of the fart is indeed an intriguing one

I ate the same as my husband yet his farts stank and mine didn't. The only thing different was the amount we ate and he smoked.

Although I’m unsure of the exact reason, it is commonly held that men tend to produce the most offensive smells.

We’re all rotten on the inside I guess

Some people on here would agree with you there

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)