FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Avast! Ye Scurvy Dogs.
Avast! Ye Scurvy Dogs.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
"
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake. "
Ah ok, I'm still in.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
"
Always have Rum, what kind of Pirate Queen would I be without Rum? My Willy is my magic compass. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Shiver me timbers!
There's a joinery company in Glasgow called that 
It's not talk like a pirate day? That's in September....."
Every day is International Talk Like A Pirate for me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
"
I might not be.. once Mod see's it  If this is the case, you may assume Command. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Stains reporting for duty
What job do you want Mr. Staines
I can swab the decks
Of Semen? I imagine you'll need a few buckets on this boat"
Can't get the Captain Pugwash theme out of my head now!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the bar man although we only have rum to drink..."
Most important role on the ship after Captain.. You better be good. Captain likes the Spiced Variety. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
I might not be.. once Mod see's it If this is the case, you may assume Command."
Confused.com how come you're shorter on this profile than your other one..oh and bi as opposed to straight  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Stains reporting for duty
What job do you want Mr. Staines
I can swab the decks
Of Semen? I imagine you'll need a few buckets on this boat
Can't get the Captain Pugwash theme out of my head now!!"
Walk the plank *Raises a cutlass to your throat and flintlock pistol at your gonads* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
I might not be.. once Mod see's it If this is the case, you may assume Command.
Confused.com how come you're shorter on this profile than your other one..oh and bi as opposed to straight "
I've answered that enough on here, press my green arrow to find out. This is a pirate thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
I might not be.. once Mod see's it If this is the case, you may assume Command.
Confused.com how come you're shorter on this profile than your other one..oh and bi as opposed to straight
I've answered that enough on here, press my green arrow to find out. This is a pirate thread. "
So you’re the OP?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate to be a pain but one of my practice shots has just made a bloody great hole in the hull, port side....
Do we have a repair kit and emergency carpenter on board? 
Sorry about that.... "
You fucking dickhead! My beautiful ship! You're demoted to an ordinary Gunner now! Start Bailing! We've no chippies yet! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
I might not be.. once Mod see's it If this is the case, you may assume Command.
Confused.com how come you're shorter on this profile than your other one..oh and bi as opposed to straight
I've answered that enough on here, press my green arrow to find out. This is a pirate thread.
So you’re the OP? "
Ummm.. no... maybe.. you can't prove anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Stains reporting for duty
What job do you want Mr. Staines
I can swab the decks
Of Semen? I imagine you'll need a few buckets on this boat
Can't get the Captain Pugwash theme out of my head now!!
Walk the plank *Raises a cutlass to your throat and flintlock pistol at your gonads*"
Arrrrhh…. that is so unfair Cap'n….
*Whistles to the tune of Frigging in the Rigging* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There were two women pirates back in the day, Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Mary dressed as a man as women were meant to be unlucky on ships.
There ends the history lesson me hearties"
Where doth thou thinketh one draweth inspiration? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Stains reporting for duty
What job do you want Mr. Staines
I can swab the decks
Of Semen? I imagine you'll need a few buckets on this boat
Can't get the Captain Pugwash theme out of my head now!!
Walk the plank *Raises a cutlass to your throat and flintlock pistol at your gonads*
Arrrrhh…. that is so unfair Cap'n….
*Whistles to the tune of Frigging in the Rigging*"
Forgiven.. Get bailing.. We're sinking! Master Gunner blew a hole in the boat. You're no longer my least favourite crew member! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago
London |
"I'll be the bar man although we only have rum to drink...
Most important role on the ship after Captain.. You better be good. Captain likes the Spiced Variety."
I'm the best bar man in the pirate world.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the bar man although we only have rum to drink...
Most important role on the ship after Captain.. You better be good. Captain likes the Spiced Variety.
I'm the best bar man in the pirate world. "
Time will tell. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the bar man although we only have rum to drink...
Most important role on the ship after Captain.. You better be good. Captain likes the Spiced Variety.
I'm the best bar man in the pirate world.
Time will tell."
Where is my Cubra Libre? Why is my Hook empty? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite handy with rope, can I come aboard?
Bienvenido. It'd be better if you're handy with a bucket right now 
Bailing out as I type cap'n"
Good lass, ye'll go far |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ummm.. I'm the one who has the ship really.. dunno what he's on about!
I'm the Captain and I need a crew.
Who is in?
Blimey I'm confused already.
Do you have a compass and rum?
I'm sorry, I fucked up! Hazard of having x2 profiles. I'm not allowed to use first in forum and can't delete the thread. So i'll run with it and hope Moderator sees it as a genuine, easy made mistake.
Ah ok, I'm still in.
I might not be.. once Mod see's it If this is the case, you may assume Command.
Confused.com how come you're shorter on this profile than your other one..oh and bi as opposed to straight
I've answered that enough on here, press my green arrow to find out. This is a pirate thread.
So you’re the OP?
Ummm.. no... maybe.. you can't prove anything."
Ay? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good news: I’ve managed to plug the hole with a barrel 
The bad news: It’s a gun powder barrel so I’d heartily recommend not to smoke near it anyone.... "
*Captain Cixi's furrowed brow of concern mixes with uneasy, temporary relief*
I'll stuff you in it, if you don't board it up soon. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Staines here willing to sign on but note no experience the only ship I have known is Hardship...Thats my two penny worth of Nautycal nonsense.Disembarking now x"
Feck off.... I'm Seaman Staines |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Staines here willing to sign on but note no experience the only ship I have known is Hardship...Thats my two penny worth of Nautycal nonsense.Disembarking now x"
We have a Seaman Stains already. Are you his Brother? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Seaman Staines here willing to sign on but note no experience the only ship I have known is Hardship...Thats my two penny worth of Nautycal nonsense.Disembarking now x
Feck off.... I'm Seaman Staines "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Captain! - There’s rats below decks ‘ere!
.....Do we have any BBQ sauce to compliment them? "
.... Yes! We also have Honey Mustard. I like mine "Crispy" Well spotted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the Loblolly Boy.
(That's what the Surgeon's Assistant was called)."
You'd best find us a Surgeon you can assist fast then.. or you're getting promoted. Hurry, I need my daily bed bath soon. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another
[Chorus:]
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day he'd stop and play
With his fuckin' organ
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
[Chorus]
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fuckin' nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
[Chorus]
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To fuck she was not able
So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters
Edit Lyrics
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our Sea Shanty Cap'n…..
Friggin' in the Riggin' from them there Sex Pistols"
... Cap'n don't like the sex pistols.
*Cap'n starts loading flintlock pistol* |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ship ahoy captain! Shall I fire off a warning shot at their bow? (considering the disaster I caused last time...) "
No! Not you! Anyone but you! What you doing in the Crowd Nest anyway? Wait out....
Who has a scope on them? Get eyes on the colours She's sailing under. Someone report back ASAP
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Our Sea Shanty Cap'n…..
Friggin' in the Riggin' from them there Sex Pistols
... Cap'n don't like the sex pistols.
*Cap'n starts loading flintlock pistol*"
Seaman Staines looks doomed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ship ahoy captain! Shall I fire off a warning shot at their bow? (considering the disaster I caused last time...)
No! Not you! Anyone but you! What you doing in the Crowd Nest anyway? Wait out....
Who has a scope on them? Get eyes on the colours She's sailing under. Someone report back ASAP
"
Sorry captain - I was a bit delirious after the combination of an undercooked rat, dysentery, a bit of scurvy and some over-imbibing of ale.....
Also, could you pass on to the deck hand that I didn’t quite manage to throw up overboard in time...... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll be the bar man although we only have rum to drink...
Who will be providing the sodomy and the lash?"
I'll provide "On the lash" Rest is down to your goodselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What are you all doing? This ship is in shit state! Half the side is blown out, someone's puked all over the decking!
Cixi ran a slack ship by the looks of things!
Right, that ship on the Horizon is a Spanish Galleon, we'd best avoid her given our current condition.
Sail on.
Stains - Sort out this mess.
- Nice job with the Rigging.
Now get to work you dogs before I have the lot of you!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What are you all doing? This ship is in shit state! Half the side is blown out, someone's puked all over the decking!
Cixi ran a slack ship by the looks of things!
Right, that ship on the Horizon is a Spanish Galleon, we'd best avoid her given our current condition.
Sail on.
Stains - Sort out this mess.
- Nice job with the Rigging.
Now get to work you dogs before I have the lot of you!
"
Only if you pay us, and not in pieces of bloody eight - the exchange rate's crap. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines"
It has to be said - I'm standing shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Khaaaaaaaaaaannn". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
I like Cixi. She's nice. "
Well maybe you can meet her one day, she still exists in spirit  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
I like Cixi. She's nice.
Well maybe you can meet her one day, she still exists in spirit "
I feel stupidly sad. Not sure if you feel pressured to hide. Dunno.
I'll fuck off. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
It has to be said - I'm standing shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Khaaaaaaaaaaannn"."
What do you want paying in?
Is that a good "Khaaaaan" or a bad one? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
I like Cixi. She's nice.
Well maybe you can meet her one day, she still exists in spirit
I feel stupidly sad. Not sure if you feel pressured to hide. Dunno.
I'll fuck off. Xx"
This isn't very pirate  Yiure embarrassing me infront of the crew. Step into my cabin.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
It has to be said - I'm standing shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Khaaaaaaaaaaannn".
What do you want paying in?
Is that a good "Khaaaaan" or a bad one?"
I want doubloons! And the Khaaaaaaaan thing is a quote from Star Trek 2. It wasn't a good Khaaaaaaaaaan. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We have a new problem captain! - There’s a bloody great tear in the sails and we’re taking on water faster than my humble ale flaggen can bail it out; I tell yer, she canny take much more Captain! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have a new problem captain! - There’s a bloody great tear in the sails and we’re taking on water faster than my humble ale flaggen can bail it out; I tell yer, she canny take much more Captain! "
I recommend splicing the mainbrace and furling the mizzens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
It has to be said - I'm standing shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Khaaaaaaaaaaannn".
What do you want paying in?
Is that a good "Khaaaaan" or a bad one?
I want doubloons! And the Khaaaaaaaan thing is a quote from Star Trek 2. It wasn't a good Khaaaaaaaaaan."
You're very demanding. You can be the QuarterMaster |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We have a new problem captain! - There’s a bloody great tear in the sails and we’re taking on water faster than my humble ale flaggen can bail it out; I tell yer, she canny take much more Captain!
I recommend splicing the mainbrace and furling the mizzens "
Do it now! We're going down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cap'n Cixi is DEAD. This is a Mutiny, I be Cap'n Kahn.
Same rules, carry on.. Mop up this mess Staines
It has to be said - I'm standing shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Khaaaaaaaaaaannn".
What do you want paying in?
Is that a good "Khaaaaan" or a bad one?
I want doubloons! And the Khaaaaaaaan thing is a quote from Star Trek 2. It wasn't a good Khaaaaaaaaaan.
You're very demanding. You can be the QuarterMaster"
I was hoping to be ship's cook - I've got a genuine pegleg, and everything. Can't grow a beard though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*mermaid Rubi swims up alongside the boat and sings the sweetest song, hoping to lure the seamen into the sea so she can seduce them "
I'll happily send my semen your way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"*mermaid Rubi swims up alongside the boat and sings the sweetest song, hoping to lure the seamen into the sea so she can seduce them "
Cap'n jumps overboard |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*mermaid Rubi swims up alongside the boat and sings the sweetest song, hoping to lure the seamen into the sea so she can seduce them
I'll happily send my semen your way"
So that's why the sea's so salty. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"*mermaid Rubi swims up alongside the boat and sings the sweetest song, hoping to lure the seamen into the sea so she can seduce them
I'll happily send my semen your way
So that's why the sea's so salty."
and fertile |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What are you all doing? This ship is in shit state! Half the side is blown out, someone's puked all over the decking!
Cixi ran a slack ship by the looks of things!
Right, that ship on the Horizon is a Spanish Galleon, we'd best avoid her given our current condition.
Sail on.
Stains - Sort out this mess.
- Nice job with the Rigging.
Now get to work you dogs before I have the lot of you!
"
I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
