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Speaking Your Mind
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I sort of fizz a bit and then it just overflows. I try and be a bit mindful of others (brownie points to me) so I'm not as speak my mindish as I once was. There's a time and a place for it isn't there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends who to.
With those whom I think will take it for what it is, me speaking my mind then yes, I will. I like to think those people will know I'm saying what I'm saying for a reason, rather than for the sake of hearing my own voice.
Whether I'm expressing support, concern, hurt, or that I think they're being out of order I'm doing it because I feel it needs saying, to open their eyes or maybe widen their blinkered view.
Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it's met with anger.
I don't want to intentionally upset or piss people off, but I do believe communication is absolute key.
P |
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"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes 
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with   "
Off topic sorry.
I dreamed about you last night. You were sitting at table in a cafe next to us and our daughter. We recognised each other and said hello but were very discreet  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to tackle any little niggles or problems as and when they crop up because otherwise they can Fester and a molehill can very quickly become a mountain. But I guess it just depends on the situation and my relationship with the person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm naturally non confrontational, I try to keep a balance and a bit of diplomacy. However I do also have the problem of if I don't deal with an issue that it just sits and then builds up if other issues arise. That then turns in to a large ranting outburst. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Depends who to.
With those whom I think will take it for what it is, me speaking my mind then yes, I will. I like to think those people will know I'm saying what I'm saying for a reason, rather than for the sake of hearing my own voice.
Whether I'm expressing support, concern, hurt, or that I think they're being out of order I'm doing it because I feel it needs saying, to open their eyes or maybe widen their blinkered view.
Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it's met with anger.
I don't want to intentionally upset or piss people off, but I do believe communication is absolute key.
P"
Exactly the same (Mr B) However if it has nothing to do with us or affecting us then its not my circus, not my monkey. Once had a friend say they liked me due to speaking my mind and knowing exactly where they stood. One day I spoke my mind and they knew where they stood, not friends anymore as they didn't like it. Hey Ho fools to the left and jokers to the right |
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"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with "
Not for the sake of it, no, but if something needs to be aired I will not suppress it for long.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If something needs to be said I will say it as I see it
Often more times that not it gets me into trouble or people don’t like what I’ve said and they stop speaking
But I’m a pretty much up front person
What you see is what you get and I speak my mind |
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I used to let things fester but then they would grow into something bigger than it really was. I had a big blow up at work last summer & felt so much better after. Now if I have a problem I say so immediately & feel so much better for it |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I didn't do this in the past and it led to several problems and issues. Now I've become much better at this and express what I'm thinking and feeling, sometimes it's not so great, sometimes it's great. |
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By *essiCouple
over a year ago
suffolk |
I used stay quiet and never rattle anyone’s cage so to speak but... as I’ve gotten older and wiser ( hopefully) I tolerate fools far less so and I fully admit I have no filter any more, I speak as I find or straight from the shoulder as someone at work said to me tonight... |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As the green arrow shows, I'm a big fan of sitting on the fence"
Yeah.
Me too.........
I've never seen the point of biting your tongue on here. I'm not saying you should ever just flip out and go crazy ape bonkers bat shit mental at anyone you disagree with....because that naughty step gets mighty chilly I hear.
But sometimes it's just good to vent, sometimes it's hard to hold back when fucknuggetry is happening and at the end of the day there's nowt wrong with expressing your distaste, disapproval or shock at something that's happened or been said.
You just need to do it in the appropriate way.
Which may involve the odd expletive.
Why give yourself an aneurysm when you can just type it out of your system?
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would like to think I'm mindful of others and don't verbalise to cause distress.... Arse holes do that.
But if something needs to be said I'll say it with conviction god damn it... I'm a dick, not an arse hole, a dick |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like to think I'm mindful of others and don't verbalise to cause distress.... Arse holes do that.
But if something needs to be said I'll say it with conviction god damn it... I'm a dick, not an arse hole, a dick "
This reminds me so much of this speech from Team America
"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks.
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies.
Kim Jong is an asshole.
Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like to think I'm mindful of others and don't verbalise to cause distress.... Arse holes do that.
But if something needs to be said I'll say it with conviction god damn it... I'm a dick, not an arse hole, a dick
This reminds me so much of this speech from Team America
"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks.
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies.
Kim Jong is an asshole.
Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit."
"
I'll have to watch it.. makes sense
And clarifies that I am indeed a dick |
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In real life I would never hold back . In a face to face situation I would say exactly what was on my mind and never let anything fester .
On here it’s different . The written word sometimes doesn’t correctly convey what someone may want say , so I tend not to get to het up about things .
But just recently I’ve had to bite my tongue so to speak , and I admit I’ve let it fester somewhat . Not a good feeling , but I feel happy to have resisted the temptation to rise to the bait . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I’m a total kettle. I let things build up and build up and then boil over at the last moment or the littlest things. I need to learn to let a bit of steam out from time to time! Excuse the crappy analogy but you get where I’m coming from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm tempted to but I won't, it's beneath me to get into a FAB bun fight .... let others who fit in the ' social hand-grenade' category do that to themselves  "
Sit back and watch chaos.
I like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the real world I tend to speak my mind, whether my view is unpopular or not. Basically, if you don't want my opinion then don't ask me in the first place. On the internet, rarely bother.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's trivial it's not worth letting it nag awsy in my mind. If it's something I cars passionately about I may respond, at some point in hopefully a quiet way taking account of the others views...
Sometimes I just breathe deeply shrug and walk away.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah I do. Although I’ve reined it in a bit on here now.
Lol oh don’t do that! It’s not you! she gets holidays ss much as me dont believe her
Where did holidays come in to it?  "
naughty step type holidays |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always speak my mind, but as I've gotten older I've learned to be a little more careful and tactful in how I do it.
To quote Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making your point without making an enemy". |
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"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with "
It depends on the situation but if I’m narked over something I have to deal with it but politely. |
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"Yeah I do. Although I’ve reined it in a bit on here now.
Lol oh don’t do that! It’s not you! she gets holidays ss much as me dont believe her
Where did holidays come in to it? naughty step type holidays"
Oh naughty Nora! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always speak my mind, but as I've gotten older I've learned to be a little more careful and tactful in how I do it.
To quote Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making your point without making an enemy". "
I don't think I've ever quite mastered the arts of tact and diplomacy, and I'm not sure I ever want to. My relevant (ish) quote would be "Publish and be damned".  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I always speak my mind, but as I've gotten older I've learned to be a little more careful and tactful in how I do it.
To quote Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making your point without making an enemy". "
I like that quote.
I find it interesting how so many people keep their peace in the interests of keeping the peace. I do think that speaking your mind doesn't have to be a confrontational thing, it doesn't need to cause arguments, it's just about how you say things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m pretty good at holding my own counsel when needed and speaking my mind at a timely moment. However it has taken learning from many years of fucking it up and putting my foot in my mouth. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I always speak my mind, but as I've gotten older I've learned to be a little more careful and tactful in how I do it.
To quote Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making your point without making an enemy".
I like that quote.
I find it interesting how so many people keep their peace in the interests of keeping the peace. I do think that speaking your mind doesn't have to be a confrontational thing, it doesn't need to cause arguments, it's just about how you say things. "
It isn't though. Maybe in the utopian society we've yet to realise. It's also about how the recipient processes that information. What it is you're actually saying. |
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I'm fairly insistent that I communicate well and understood but with respect for others. In communication there's always a pertinent point where adding your bit really fits in. But if the boat is missed, it's often key to let a point go - but it's a choice. I tend to not hold on to stuff and if something was important, I'd raise it directly, to get it sorted
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the issue and the circumstances. If I feel me or someone else is being unfairly attacked or that a topic is being presented in a totally biased way then I'd speak up.
I mostly can't be arsed though. |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
Again depends on the issue and if it will affect me. I won't want to cause an argument but if someone is rude to me I'll answer back.
Also I won't let myself get into a situation of agreeing something I don't want to do. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"In the real world I tend to speak my mind, whether my view is unpopular or not. Basically, if you don't want my opinion then don't ask me in the first place. On the internet, rarely bother.."
This is my view as well basically, but if someone wants to start chewing ma socks off then I'll bite back on any occasion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the real world I tend to speak my mind, whether my view is unpopular or not. Basically, if you don't want my opinion then don't ask me in the first place. On the internet, rarely bother..
This is my view as well basically, but if someone wants to start chewing ma socks off then I'll bite back on any occasion "
It's the ones who offer their opinion without being asked, that pisses me off a little |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Depends who to.
With those whom I think will take it for what it is, me speaking my mind then yes, I will. I like to think those people will know I'm saying what I'm saying for a reason, rather than for the sake of hearing my own voice.
Whether I'm expressing support, concern, hurt, or that I think they're being out of order I'm doing it because I feel it needs saying, to open their eyes or maybe widen their blinkered view.
Sometimes it's welcomed, sometimes it's met with anger.
I don't want to intentionally upset or piss people off, but I do believe communication is absolute key.
P"
Sorry it's taken so long to respond, but what you have said there makes a hell of a lot of good sense |
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"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with "
Depends on the context and who what where etc.
As a general rule of thumb though I personally speak my mind if I'm being undermined in anyway such as a mild sarcastic attack or a full blown verbal spiel.
Speaking your mind that hurts another's feelings is pathetic unless you are at the receiving end and thus on the defence.
If you're guilty of something and being attacked then take it like an adult and apologise.
Only speak your mind if:
A) you're innocent
B) Saving someone or something.
C) speaking out against something wrong.
D) defending yourself.
I don't believe in being a door mat, a pacifist or a poodle but I also don't believe in rudeness and impolitness either. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with
Depends on the context and who what where etc.
As a general rule of thumb though I personally speak my mind if I'm being undermined in anyway such as a mild sarcastic attack or a full blown verbal spiel.
Speaking your mind that hurts another's feelings is pathetic unless you are at the receiving end and thus on the defence.
If you're guilty of something and being attacked then take it like an adult and apologise.
Only speak your mind if:
A) you're innocent
B) Saving someone or something.
C) speaking out against something wrong.
D) defending yourself.
I don't believe in being a door mat, a pacifist or a poodle but I also don't believe in rudeness and impolitness either."
Exactly, that was my initial point when I posted this thread a couple of days ago. Nobody likes being walked all over, but some people just put up with it for the sake of peace and quiet, which I find rather sad really  |
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"Do you do this when push comes to shove, or if it's just a trivial matter, do you let it niggle away like a rat inside your brain until it explodes
Sorry, that's the best analogy that I could come up with
Depends on the context and who what where etc.
As a general rule of thumb though I personally speak my mind if I'm being undermined in anyway such as a mild sarcastic attack or a full blown verbal spiel.
Speaking your mind that hurts another's feelings is pathetic unless you are at the receiving end and thus on the defence.
If you're guilty of something and being attacked then take it like an adult and apologise.
Only speak your mind if:
A) you're innocent
B) Saving someone or something.
C) speaking out against something wrong.
D) defending yourself.
I don't believe in being a door mat, a pacifist or a poodle but I also don't believe in rudeness and impolitness either.
Exactly, that was my initial point when I posted this thread a couple of days ago. Nobody likes being walked all over, but some people just put up with it for the sake of peace and quiet, which I find rather sad really "
That's called fear! |
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves? "
Because it's fear!
Fear can often be subconscious and thus illogical.
Many could have past negative experiences or other reasons.
What one person's fears another faces.
You cannot understand nor explain that's just you beating yourself up buddy. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Because it's fear!
Fear can often be subconscious and thus illogical.
Many could have past negative experiences or other reasons.
What one person's fears another faces.
You cannot understand nor explain that's just you beating yourself up buddy."
Yeah I know what you are saying, but I can and do stand up and speak for myself when the situation arises. My initial post was more about those people who either couldn't, or trod in the path of fear for some reason. |
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Because it's fear!
Fear can often be subconscious and thus illogical.
Many could have past negative experiences or other reasons.
What one person's fears another faces.
You cannot understand nor explain that's just you beating yourself up buddy.
Yeah I know what you are saying, but I can and do stand up and speak for myself when the situation arises. My initial post was more about those people who either couldn't, or trod in the path of fear for some reason. "
Yes I know and my response is for them. Fear is simply illogical.
Why do wife beaters stay with broken men or vice versa for abused men? Why do normal sane people commit crimes such as burning innocent women during witch trials?
Why can some stick up for themselves in a verbal argument but run away from a clown or heights or spiders while others can freefall from 25,000 ft?
Fear my dear fellow fear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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^ not trying to steal away from the subject, but fear holds people back. And fear can be easily overcome. Scared of spiders? Hold a spider, you’ve conquered your fear.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"^ not trying to steal away from the subject, but fear holds people back. And fear can be easily overcome. Scared of spiders? Hold a spider, you’ve conquered your fear.
"
until the next spider
And what if u fear death  |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"^ not trying to steal away from the subject, but fear holds people back. And fear can be easily overcome. Scared of spiders? Hold a spider, you’ve conquered your fear.
until the next spider
And what if u fear death "
Then you will have spiders crawling up your nostrils for all eternity  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves? "
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing. "
What, and do absolutely nothing about it at all?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing.
What, and do absolutely nothing about it at all? "
Yes. I do that all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing.
What, and do absolutely nothing about it at all?
Yes. I do that all the time. "
Same here ... |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing.
What, and do absolutely nothing about it at all?
Yes. I do that all the time.
Same here ... "
I sort of understand what you are saying, but surely there must come a point when you feel the need to speak out to get your point across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's called fear!
I suppose it can be described that way, but why are people frightened of speaking out and sticking up for themselves?
Why bother trying to stick up for yourself if no-one gives a shit or they misunderstand you. Easier to say nothing.
What, and do absolutely nothing about it at all?
Yes. I do that all the time.
Same here ...
I sort of understand what you are saying, but surely there must come a point when you feel the need to speak out to get your point across."
There's ways of doing that, yes. The point doesn't necessarily have to be spelled out though, if the other person won't understand or care . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on the situation and the person I am talking to.
Although I must admit that sometimes I lose it but I mainly try to take into consideration ppl's state of mind before talking if their choices does not involve myself in away or another.
If their choices or behaviours involve myself or something I find unacceptable I have no choice that to voice my opinion |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"There's ways of doing that, yes. The point doesn't necessarily have to be spelled out though, if the other person won't understand or care . "
Yeah, you can bang your head against a brick wall sometimes, if someone doesn't want to open up and get a problem off their chest, then there's very little that you can do unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t tend to speak my mind as most people can’t take it.
I tend to say my point as near as I can and then scream it at them inside my head. Smile politely and walk away. |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"I don’t tend to speak my mind as most people can’t take it.
I tend to say my point as near as I can and then scream it at them inside my head. Smile politely and walk away. "
So you have friends like mine, where you call them an utter nutcase under your breath while smiling at them |
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"I don’t tend to speak my mind as most people can’t take it.
I tend to say my point as near as I can and then scream it at them inside my head. Smile politely and walk away.
So you have friends like mine, where you call them an utter nutcase under your breath while smiling at them "
We all have those yet guess what they probably think that of us too.
Humanity the biggest bunch of nutcrackers any squirrel has evee seen lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's in my head it's out my mouth...I've tried to bite my tongue over the years but I can't help but say what I'm thinking....which can be a good and a bad thing at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
To quote Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making your point without making an enemy".
Like that!
“ Negotiations on the battlefield are infinitely preferable to war!”"
Like that as well...who said that one? |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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I think some people can have a lot of angst in their lives by constantly having a need to speak out, correct things, get their point across. Sometimes it’s just not necessary.
I would pick my time and situation. If I felt strongly enough then yes I would but even then there is a way of doing it. Speaking your mind doesn’t mean you need to be nasty or aggressive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people can have a lot of angst in their lives by constantly having a need to speak out, correct things, get their point across. Sometimes it’s just not necessary.
I would pick my time and situation. If I felt strongly enough then yes I would but even then there is a way of doing it. Speaking your mind doesn’t mean you need to be nasty or aggressive. "
Did you pick your time for this outspoken post? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In real life yes, I speak my mind.
On here not so much......why? Well one never knows what mood the mods are in. Some days you’ll end up on the naughty step for just breathing "
shhhh cant say that |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"I think some people can have a lot of angst in their lives by constantly having a need to speak out, correct things, get their point across. Sometimes it’s just not necessary.
I would pick my time and situation. If I felt strongly enough then yes I would but even then there is a way of doing it. Speaking your mind doesn’t mean you need to be nasty or aggressive.
Did you pick your time for this outspoken post? "
Of course! |
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"I think some people can have a lot of angst in their lives by constantly having a need to speak out, correct things, get their point across. Sometimes it’s just not necessary.
I would pick my time and situation. If I felt strongly enough then yes I would but even then there is a way of doing it. Speaking your mind doesn’t mean you need to be nasty or aggressive. "
Absolutely right , and there are certainly a few on here who your first paragraph describe perfectly .
The unfortunate truth of it is that so many people think theirs is the only way to think or be , and everyone else is wrong . Intransigence is rife with these people , they see changing their mind or thinking as weak . So they get angry and aggressive with their stance . It’s totally unnecessary , but something we see all the time on here . |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"I think some people can have a lot of angst in their lives by constantly having a need to speak out, correct things, get their point across. Sometimes it’s just not necessary.
I would pick my time and situation. If I felt strongly enough then yes I would but even then there is a way of doing it. Speaking your mind doesn’t mean you need to be nasty or aggressive.
Absolutely right , and there are certainly a few on here who your first paragraph describe perfectly .
The unfortunate truth of it is that so many people think theirs is the only way to think or be , and everyone else is wrong . Intransigence is rife with these people , they see changing their mind or thinking as weak . So they get angry and aggressive with their stance . It’s totally unnecessary , but something we see all the time on here ."
Absolutely, there are many ways of getting your point across without resorting to childish behaviour, I'm not entirely sure what goads some people into almost having a stand off though, it beggars belief sometimes, but it can be quite comical occasionally |
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