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Banal messages
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"Hi, your lookin sexy"  Really?! A sexy cup?! *You're
"Loved your profile, where bouts are you from?" Ermmm...
" Hey, great profile, I'm staying at *insert hotel name here* wondered if you fancied a cheeky drink then back to my room?" 
"*Insert mobile number here*"  Fool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Hi, your lookin sexy" Really?! A sexy cup?! *You're
"Loved your profile, where bouts are you from?" Ermmm...
" Hey, great profile, I'm staying at *insert hotel name here* wondered if you fancied a cheeky drink then back to my room?"
"*Insert mobile number here*" Fool"
I do wanna fuck your cup I must admit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"May I put my French penis into your English vagina?
#youknowwhoyouare
 what kind of asshole would say something so cheesy !
I guess a french ! "
Those French men |
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"“Just driving by”
“Would you like to see a Geordie lad shoot his load?”
! Credit for the guy's creativity ! "
Two messages different guys. Should say that the second wasn’t rejected due to any regional preference.  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
The best conversations go like this: Hi
Hello, thanks for messaging
How r u
We are lovely thank you, how are you?
Gdgd
Ok.... ?
(2 or 3 days go by)
Hi
Oh, hello again!
How r u
Yes, we are still lovely, how are you?
I wanna meet 2nite
No thank you, we are not meeting at the moment... Hope you find somebody willing though.
(2 days later)
Hi,...,.
*Yawn
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My top 5 favourites
You ok ?
How’s it goin ?
What u in 2
How u finding Fab ?
Love to see that in my missus ?!
What are your all time favourites!
You mean you’ve actually had five messages ??  "
Stick in there buddy and you too will have these crappy messages over time ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even though I have nothing on my profile that states this I get messages from men that say:
Meet
Meet now
I mean does that actually work?!
Does a straight man go, well alright you’ve taken the time to write four letters in a message, I’ll change my sexuality for you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi D.
- I'm like mate is it really too hard to add the extra ee on to that to get my name right
Wuu2
Not even taking the time to type the whole thing out."
They expect maximum results for minimum effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1111111111111111111111111111111
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1_________________________1
1111111111111111111111111111111
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"Hi D.
- I'm like mate is it really too hard to add the extra ee on to that to get my name right
Wuu2
Not even taking the time to type the whole thing out.
They expect maximum results for minimum effort."
I blame Liberalism! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here’s a poem for you, Mr Impala:
Tame, Tame, what a shame
He’s so lame
At the game
It ain’t the same
In the main
See what I did? Rhymed loads of words. That’s poems that is. "
Brighton Steve used to be bi
He used to PM about my dick size
Now that he’s straight
he thinks life will be great
But now he’s just slightly duller
Not all poems rhyme all the way through.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey babe, ever heard of a glory hole?
I always reply to that ;
‘No, but do you know what is glorious, friendship!’"
But I do know what glory hole is. And no, I'm not interested in it either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've started calling everyone Walter that gets my name wrong. They're quick enough to correct me! "
I call them Dave, and don't stop when they correct me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've started calling everyone Walter that gets my name wrong. They're quick enough to correct me!
I call them Dave, and don't stop when they correct me."
Trigger, I'm not Dave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've started calling everyone Walter that gets my name wrong. They're quick enough to correct me!
I call them Dave, and don't stop when they correct me.
Trigger, I'm not Dave"
Sorry Dave. |
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"I tick all your boxes! We need to meet. Now!
Or, you're my perfect woman we need to meet.
Perfection on fab? Course we are  "
Haha! It's more like, OK so I suit you. Do you in any way suit me? I have no idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Messages with no questions. Just a description of irrelevant details "
The 8 paragraph long sex fantasy that is boring from the first paragraph.
Probably a paste job. |
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We seem to be getting a lot of messages saying you are stunning or along similar wording. My husband is starting to get a really big head opening this mail  I always think how on earth can you tell? I have no face pics lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi,
Hello,
Wruup2?
Oddly enough I'm chatting on fab .
I think guys like to assume the ladies all chat naked whilst fingering themselves, I personally don't want to get my keyboard sticky."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they? "
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs "
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that? "
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me "
Can I have his contact details |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
“Hi, Tom... any chance you can get those drawings over to me first thing tomorrow?”, “just we’ve been asking for over a week now and it really is urgent”...
Work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"“Hi, Tom... any chance you can get those drawings over to me first thing tomorrow?”, “just we’ve been asking for over a week now and it really is urgent”...
Work "
Block and move on. You don't need that negativity in your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me
Can I have his contact details "
I'll see what I can do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me "
Guess I could do that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me
Guess I could do that "
What does a boob job cost these days? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me
Guess I could do that
What does a boob job cost these days?"
No idea. Never needed it so never searched for this info |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had this one yesterday: "Are they real or you had a boob job?"
I didn't think my pictures suggest I had my breasts enhanced. Do they?
Erm, no. Not that I looked at your boobs
Thank you. I then asked him if they looked like I needed a boob job? He replied "Not at all, I'm just trying to make a conversation. It's just I bought a boob job to my 2 girlfriends in the past lol"
Err.. what do you say to that?
Ask him for the money so you can get one too? Then split the cash 50/50 with me
Guess I could do that
What does a boob job cost these days?
No idea. Never needed it so never searched for this info "
So how much are we going to ask this chap for then? I'm guessing it's more than a fiver. |
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"Here’s a poem for you, Mr Impala:
Tame, Tame, what a shame
He’s so lame
At the game
It ain’t the same
In the main
See what I did? Rhymed loads of words. That’s poems that is.
Brighton Steve used to be bi
He used to PM about my dick size
Now that he’s straight
he thinks life will be great
But now he’s just slightly duller
Not all poems rhyme all the way through.
"
Slightly duller
Balls fuller |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How much does a boob job cost these days?
This isn't Google
I'm asking for you! Surely some fab ladies on here could give us an accurate answer?"
Ohhhhhh, good point. I'll let you off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi
What games u play? (Followed by exactly zero interest when I mention a game)
Got a face pic?
Are my most common, if I wanted to share face pics with everyone I'd have one on my profile wouldn't I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wow!
You're stunning (Oh well really? Considering I might have a face from crime watch!)
I have a hotel in XYZ tonight
Meet now
Want to see me suck my own cock?
I'm planning a surprise threesomw for my boyfriend for his birthday and I think you'd be the perfect addition.
And the best...
So what makes You a nightmare then.
^oh wouldn't you like to know
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow!
You're stunning (Oh well really? Considering I might have a face from crime watch!)
I have a hotel in XYZ tonight
Meet now
Want to see me suck my own cock?
I'm planning a surprise threesomw for my boyfriend for his birthday and I think you'd be the perfect addition.
And the best...
So what makes You a nightmare then.
^oh wouldn't you like to know
"
go on suck your own cock i double dare ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow!
You're stunning (Oh well really? Considering I might have a face from crime watch!)
I have a hotel in XYZ tonight
Meet now
Want to see me suck my own cock?
I'm planning a surprise threesomw for my boyfriend for his birthday and I think you'd be the perfect addition.
And the best...
So what makes You a nightmare then.
^oh wouldn't you like to know
go on suck your own cock i double dare ya"
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi
What games u play? (Followed by exactly zero interest when I mention a game)
Got a face pic?
Are my most common, if I wanted to share face pics with everyone I'd have one on my profile wouldn't I "
what games do you play? |
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I occasionally get a "Hi" from blank profiles, then when I've replied they disappear.
When I first joined and before I realised I could block all men I got loads of "meet now", "fancy a suck mate" and "shame u dnt like cock mate" messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock
Ok, I hate to admit it but that's impressive "
Please tell me you refer to them as joysticks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock
Ok, I hate to admit it but that's impressive
Please tell me you refer to them as joysticks! "
I doubt anyone wants me doing to their cock what I do to a controller! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock
Ok, I hate to admit it but that's impressive
Please tell me you refer to them as joysticks!
I doubt anyone wants me doing to their cock what I do to a controller! "
I'm not sure I want to know now, but please expand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow!
You're stunning (Oh well really? Considering I might have a face from crime watch!)
I have a hotel in XYZ tonight
Meet now
Want to see me suck my own cock?
I'm planning a surprise threesomw for my boyfriend for his birthday and I think you'd be the perfect addition.
And the best...
So what makes You a nightmare then.
^oh wouldn't you like to know
go on suck your own cock i double dare ya
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock "
wow just wow did he have a waggy tail and covered in furr and wear a collor |
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"My best ever:
"Are you a racist, love?"
Priceless "
I've had that!
Or, as a first message, a long rant about how the women of Fab are racist for not meeting him. Nothing about me in particular.
I actually have nothing against anyone of that (or any) race, but unhinged isn't attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What is wrong with you people.
We're all strangers on this website and striking a conversation with some you don't know is difficult. Small talk can be a good way to break the ice that can lead in a more real conversation.
Are all of you people who bitch about it great conversation starters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow!
You're stunning (Oh well really? Considering I might have a face from crime watch!)
I have a hotel in XYZ tonight
Meet now
Want to see me suck my own cock?
I'm planning a surprise threesomw for my boyfriend for his birthday and I think you'd be the perfect addition.
And the best...
So what makes You a nightmare then.
^oh wouldn't you like to know
go on suck your own cock i double dare ya
Whats even better is his profile pic was him sucking his own cock wow just wow did he have a waggy tail and covered in furr and wear a collor"
Nope but in all fairness if he was wearing a collar id probably be more interested |
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"What is wrong with you people.
We're all strangers on this website and striking a conversation with some you don't know is difficult. Small talk can be a good way to break the ice that can lead in a more real conversation.
Are all of you people who bitch about it great conversation starters"
I make a lot more effort and try to find something in common with the person that might be of interest. |
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"The best conversations go like this: Hi
Hello, thanks for messaging
How r u
We are lovely thank you, how are you?
Gdgd
Ok.... ?
(2 or 3 days go by)
Hi
Oh, hello again!
How r u
Yes, we are still lovely, how are you?
I wanna meet 2nite
No thank you, we are not meeting at the moment... Hope you find somebody willing though.
(2 days later)
Hi,...,.
*Yawn
"
But with a cup of such high quality and sexual attraction is it any wonder that men are unable to stay away.
If you can't handle that level of interest you should consider changing your cup, for maybe a slightly chipped glass? Or a side plate?? x |
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"What is wrong with you people.
We're all strangers on this website and striking a conversation with some you don't know is difficult. Small talk can be a good way to break the ice that can lead in a more real conversation.
Are all of you people who bitch about it great conversation starters"
I can understand it when Women receive them and can't be bothered to reply with the amount of messages they receive but personally speaking I don't get many messages so it doesn't really bother me, I just have a look at their profile and take it from there |
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"What is wrong with you people.
We're all strangers on this website and striking a conversation with some you don't know is difficult. Small talk can be a good way to break the ice that can lead in a more real conversation.
Are all of you people who bitch about it great conversation starters
I can understand it when Women receive them and can't be bothered to reply with the amount of messages they receive but personally speaking I don't get many messages so it doesn't really bother me, I just have a look at their profile and take it from there"
Yeah, if it were five a day I'd be fine with the boring (not rude, demanding, or abusive) ones. It's an awful lot more than that. |
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At the moment my status is attracting the banal.
A good girl is one who does as she's told, expects nothing, and gives everything, and lets her man do whatever he wants. (mash up of several messages I've had)
I'm clearly very, very naughty, then, and I tell them so. |
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