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Up the bum...
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So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? "
a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs |
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"And don't go to A&E, just clench and change the channel  "
It’s rather odd, but whilst applying the technique you recommended, I now seem to be able to pick up channels that I never previously had  (Curiously, they’re all Dutch channels to)  |
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs "
*wince!* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later   |
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later "
Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm:
In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!)
The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’
Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later
Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm:
In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!)
The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’
Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible.... "
The funniest was a grapefruit ... he slipped a fell on it!! So gently it slipped so far up his bum they had to operate!! Wow grapefruits can be hard!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing... 
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance.... "
That was a gerbil wasn’t it? |
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"With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it? "
As long as you can change the channel, you’ll be fine |
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"When I was at college first time around, my bestie's mum was an A&E receptionist...Omg the things she told us about still leave me wincing 30 years later
Just for you, here’s one I’ve just dug up that will certainly make you squirm:
In Hong Kong, a 50 year old man ended up in A&E with suspected inflammation of the bowel but a radiograph actually revealed the shadow of, wait for it........a live eel(!!!!)
The man later admitted (reluctantly and probably whilst blushing profusely) that he inserted the fish to, and I quote, ‘Help with his constipation.’
Yes.....that story sounds entirely plausible....
The funniest was a grapefruit ... he slipped a fell on it!! So gently it slipped so far up his bum they had to operate!! Wow grapefruits can be hard!!! "
One of his five a day? |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
"Watched one of those programmes where record Brits in sunny beach teen guys lit a firework up mates arse. Needless to say he had to go to a and e "
Some idiot round here did that, video was all round Facebook for a while |
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it? "
I wonder if the Dalai Lama has heard of this infamous tale? |
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"With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
As long as you can change the channel, you’ll be fine "
I’ve just picked up a medical channel which is a bit of a stroke of luck.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it?
I wonder if the Dalai Lama has heard of this infamous tale? "
He probably doesn’t read the sun to be fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? "
didnt catch his name between retches |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"I've heard from a friend that the prison hamster has gone missing...
Actor, Richard Gere was listed by police today as the prime suspect in the said disappearance....
That was a gerbil wasn’t it? "
Gerbil stuffing so they say |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches"
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... "
phone sex is dangerous |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous "
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse... |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse..."
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? "
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United! |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!"
City!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!! "
He never played for shitty |
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Another one from the medical arse- I mean archives now:
A vibrator inserted into the anus will hardly shock anyone on here but for one poor chap, it (the vibrator) went too far in....right the way in, in fact.
Fortuitously, rather than panic and risk the embarrassment of calling in medical staff, the enterprising fellow decided to try to remove the object from within him utilising some salad tongs (it was the logical choice, right?)
Imagine the poor buggers dismay then when the tongs got stuck up his arse also thus finally necessitating him to call for emergency assistance whilst trying to think of a tall story to explain away his predicament |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty "
No, I was just airing my support |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty
No, I was just airing my support "
Oh I see. (Instantly removed from hotlist) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? "
Can you still change channels? |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt?
Who on earth thinks Nicky Butt and then thinks ex Newcastle!? Ex United!
City!!!
He never played for shitty
No, I was just airing my support
Oh I see. (Instantly removed from hotlist) "
 |
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"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice?
Can you still change channels?"
I was able to but I think that the batteries may now need changing in it or else it’s suffered damage whilst up there. I’m going to call out the Sky engineer to have a look at it in fact..... |
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"www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XS7a59KQAw
I saw what it was and decided to give it a miss! "
If you watch it with the sound down whilst listening to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, it’s actually quite relaxing viewing |
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By *c1989Woman
over a year ago
Manchester |
Earlier this year Italian doctors had to come up with a new medical instrument to remove a 23 inch dildo from a blokes arse.
Not an unusual object but certainly a huge one with an interesting story. |
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"Earlier this year Italian doctors had to come up with a new medical instrument to remove a 23 inch dildo from a blokes arse.
Not an unusual object but certainly a huge one with an interesting story. "
By crikey! 23 Inches you say?! *estimating it with my hands*
The guy was lucky not to have punctured his heart |
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On the Sex Business show on Tuesday a Trans cam worker lost a Double ender up the back passage, (apparently it just slipped out of her well lubricated hand). She had to be opened up(like a C-section) to retrieve it otherwise it could perforated her bowel. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"A fingernail.
*a friend, not me.
**nor was it my fingernail
A
Ideal for taking care of those infuriating rectal itches "
Served him right really.
Never a good idea to ask your GF to give you a prostate massage the day after she's had new falsies stuck on at the dodgy nail parlour in the high street.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the Sex Business show on Tuesday a Trans cam worker lost a Double ender up the back passage, (apparently it just slipped out of her well lubricated hand). She had to be opened up(like a C-section) to retrieve it otherwise it could perforated her bowel. "
wouldn't know what to think if they are looking for their keys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once  let me guess u slipped and fell"
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs "
on the lighter side hes now got very clean inners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. "
id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs on the lighter side hes now got very clean inners "
just less of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change "
That’s what I love about you. Your modesty  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By accident I sat on a big cock once let me guess u slipped and fell
I think I sat on a cock once. If my memory serves me correctly it was about 1998, a Thursday I think. id only had sex 3 times by then and i was rubbish how times change
That’s what I love about you. Your modesty "
well some one has to be on here |
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"Watched one of those programmes where record Brits in sunny beach teen guys lit a firework up mates arse. Needless to say he had to go to a and e "
I watched that episode, he needed some serious stitches! |
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‘Tonight On Fox: When Anal Insertions Go Wrong!’
Another one from the good old US of A now;
Doctors were somewhat shocked to discover a rock-solid object inside the anal sphincter of a 27-year-old man.
The chap had, for reasons best known only to himself, injected a liquid adhesive into his rectum using a dual-chambered glue gun (!) which had subsequently hardened and became agglutinated to his inner intestinal walls.
Maybe he caught an episode of DIY SOS on his TV and became spontaneously inspired? |
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By *IG08Man
over a year ago
Tadworth |
My mum works in a hospital. She told me that she was shown an x-ray on an Adidas deodorant that had been inserted by a man
How did they know it was adidas you may ask?
You could see the three stripes on the x-ray
True story |
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"My mum works in a hospital. She told me that she was shown an x-ray on an Adidas deodorant that had been inserted by a man
How did they know it was adidas you may ask?
You could see the three stripes on the x-ray
True story "
I suppose at least the persons farts smelt awesome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs "
Douche! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So....I was just reading about unusual items that medical personnel have been called in to remove from patients arses (as one commonly does of course).
Amongst the items listed were beer bottles, spray cans, a peanut butter jar(!) and most worryingly of all, a Buzz Lightyear action figure(!!!)
With the above in mind, should I ring the emergency services for the Sky remote control which is now imbedded deep in my colon after I inadvertently fell upon it whilst measuring my cock against it?
Anyhoo, what’s the weirdest items you have heard about or even personally witnessed, inserted and/or stuck in a human orifice? a guy stuck a jetwash hose up his arse for a dare and turned it on a couple of years back completely buggered all his internal organs "
Men are so fucking stupid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My mum works in a hospital. She told me that she was shown an x-ray on an Adidas deodorant that had been inserted by a man
How did they know it was adidas you may ask?
You could see the three stripes on the x-ray
True story "
I have often wondered how private my private stuff is in hospitals and my gp surgery.
Now I know. |
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"I have had to have major surgery due to someone pushing a vibrator in too far they even warned it may have ended with me having a colostomy
So sorry this is not a laughable experience"
I’m very sorry to hear that and do hope sincerely that there was/is no permanent injury. Obviously this thread is intended in jest but I would be remit to not mention here to everyone that there are of course very serious potential consequences to inserting anything that is either too large or else overly forcibly into the relevant area being discussed |
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"A fist on that sex business show blood everywhere im sure he thought it was lambing season
Was his name James Herriot perchance? didnt catch his name between retches
Here’s another one:
A lawyer from Georgia USA had a mobile phone removed from deep in his posterior a few years ago after he apparently ‘Slipped in the shower and fell on top of it as it was ringing.’ (Hmmmmm.......)
....Hopefully it switched automatically to voice mail until the med team managed to retrieve it.... phone sex is dangerous
There was a then Premier league player who engaged in that, if I recall correctly he was a bit of an arse...
Was it ex Newcastle man, Nicky Butt? "
London sides... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Many many FAR too many men being brought into custody having often more than one mobile phone up there, together with charger and PLUG!!
Also several items hidden under foreskins !! I'm getting flashbacks now lol x |
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