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What's your take on it?
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We're still amicable and have the odd drink together. That's all though. he was a crap shag so not going back there again. | |||
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"Ok, remember children its peace to all men, and all that jizz...its Christmas after all...so play nice please :D Amicable break-ups.....Are they possible? Have you been through one? what's your thoughts on them? " I am in touch with both my long term ex's and they occasionally socialise with us too, so yes it is possible ! | |||
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Its a bit of a headfuck to say the least. No children or dogs involved, its just an odd place to be, but what we both want. Ive always seen that break-ups should be hell and nasty, but neither of us want to be that to each other, so this seems like the right thing to do...why should one have to go with a binbag full of clothes, when we still love and care for each other....sounds utterly insane, but I just hope we can do it....for both our sanity's  | |||
"It can work. My best friend is my ex. I'm also married to her best friend." +1 | |||
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"started off very amicable indeed .....ended up nastiest custody battle ever couldnt even talk on phone or be in same room "6 years later we still cant be in the same room | |||
"It can work. My best friend is my ex. I'm also married to her best friend." Narcissism isn't cute. How long did you wait before accepting your proposal ? | |||
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"Ok, remember children its peace to all men, and all that jizz...its Christmas after all...so play nice please :D Amicable break-ups.....Are they possible? Have you been through one? what's your thoughts on them? " Yes depending on the circumstances and reasons for the break down in the relationship. | |||
"NO lol i tried to make things as nice as possible when i split. But when other get involved (my ex bitch of aa mother in law) things go wrong. If couples that split were left to deal with things alone then im sure half the time things would ork out ok. Am i bitter hell yes that witch stole loads from my house the out come if i saw her in the street on fire i wouldnt piss on her to put her out more likely to pour petrol on her." That's the mad thing, we can't contain it, well not forever and the crazy thing is, my mother will side with him and his with me...and we are having to work it out for ourselves, without trying to convince them that its the right thing to do.....Life hey, who'd have one  | |||
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"NO lol i tried to make things as nice as possible when i split. But when other get involved (my ex bitch of aa mother in law) things go wrong. If couples that split were left to deal with things alone then im sure half the time things would ork out ok. Am i bitter hell yes that witch stole loads from my house the out come if i saw her in the street on fire i wouldnt piss on her to put her out more likely to pour petrol on her. That's the mad thing, we can't contain it, well not forever and the crazy thing is, my mother will side with him and his with me...and we are having to work it out for ourselves, without trying to convince them that its the right thing to do.....Life hey, who'd have one "my mum adored my ex and did side with him but that was then weeks later she found out what him and his family had been doing to me and now i dont think hate is a strong enough word to use in honesty. They say time heels and i hope it does for you. Im 18 months down the line and hated it when people said thing will get better every day i didnt believe them hahahah oh how right they were. I wish you all the very best and if u need a rant mail me anytime I know how it feels. | |||
"I was with my husband for 12 years. When we split it was heartbreaking but we just grew apart and knew the marriage had died. We have no kids so for the past year we have been amicable (probably getting on better than we did when we were together). We now have a laugh as to who is going to divorce who and on what grounds... trying to think of the most ridiculous reasons!" very similar for me except I was with my husband for 20 years and he left me for another woman. I suppose I knew the marriage was dead and accepted it gracefully - we agreed on a 2 year separation at the start of the split (I secretly think he was hoping this would keep a "door" open if it didn't work with his new woman!) I moved on with life and looking at us both now, I'm in a better and happier position than him Amicable is good lol | |||
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"very similar for me except I was with my husband for 20 years and he left me for another woman. I suppose I knew the marriage was dead and accepted it gracefully - we agreed on a 2 year separation at the start of the split (I secretly think he was hoping this would keep a "door" open if it didn't work with his new woman!) I moved on with life and looking at us both now, I'm in a better and happier position than him Amicable is good lol" Mine is very similar but he left and I filed for divorce as soon as I could. It was amicable until his life started falling apart. Mine is amazing but I'm not really gloating, he is still the girls dad! Good luck, hope you get it all sorted soon x | |||
"It can work. My best friend is my ex. I'm also married to her best friend. Narcissism isn't cute. How long did you wait before accepting your proposal ?" lulz Nooo silly, I am my mistress. | |||
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"Yes it is possible, and my ex-hubby and I are still good friends. The sparks fizzled out and the relationship run its course. I met someone else who provided the missing fireworks. My ex-hubby said at the time, if he could not make me happy, he would rather step aside for someone who could. Divorce was very amicable, we did not argue about anything, he handled the proceedings himself and saved us a fortune. When my late partner died suddenly of an accident just over 3 years after our separation, my ex-hubby was one of the first 3 people I rang. He is a great person with a big heart. "Same here my ex will always be there on the other end of the phone if i need him. He thinks alot of my hubbie and has even asked not to be called grandad by the grandchildren just his name. This is so it dosnt confuse the grandchildrn. So yes it is possible xxx | |||
"Thanks guys and gals
Its a bit of a headfuck to say the least. No children or dogs involved, its just an odd place to be, but what we both want. Ive always seen that break-ups should be hell and nasty, but neither of us want to be that to each other, so this seems like the right thing to do...why should one have to go with a binbag full of clothes, when we still love and care for each other....sounds utterly insane, but I just hope we can do it....for both our sanity's "Are you absolutely and positively sure your relationship can't be saved at all. Sounds mad, reading what you have written, that two people who think the world of each other and still love and care for each other, should be apart. To me, it doesn't sound like this should be happening | |||
"Ok, remember children its peace to all men, and all that jizz...its Christmas after all...so play nice please :D Amicable break-ups.....Are they possible? Have you been through one? what's your thoughts on them? " Yes, it IS possible. | |||
"Ok, remember children its peace to all men, and all that jizz...its Christmas after all...so play nice please :D Amicable break-ups.....Are they possible? Have you been through one? what's your thoughts on them? Yes, it IS possible." i totally agree, as long as my ex stays the fuck away from me...i allow him to continue to breath...very amicable | |||
"Thanks guys and gals
Its a bit of a headfuck to say the least. No children or dogs involved, its just an odd place to be, but what we both want. Ive always seen that break-ups should be hell and nasty, but neither of us want to be that to each other, so this seems like the right thing to do...why should one have to go with a binbag full of clothes, when we still love and care for each other....sounds utterly insane, but I just hope we can do it....for both our sanity's
Are you absolutely and positively sure your relationship can't be saved at all.
Sounds mad, reading what you have written, that two people who think the world of each other and still love and care for each other, should be apart.
To me, it doesn't sound like this should be happening"i thought the same reading...of course no one can ever know anothers heart,so a little bit of the life of jem... After our second child was born kev and i separated...there were a number of reasons,not loving each other wasnt one of them...i moved 2 streets away and we tried to discover what had gone wrong,and rediscover what we knew worked.. Relationships can be saved if you do not burn your bridges.Time and communication,and space can work | |||
"Thanks guys and gals
Its a bit of a headfuck to say the least. No children or dogs involved, its just an odd place to be, but what we both want. Ive always seen that break-ups should be hell and nasty, but neither of us want to be that to each other, so this seems like the right thing to do...why should one have to go with a binbag full of clothes, when we still love and care for each other....sounds utterly insane, but I just hope we can do it....for both our sanity's
Are you absolutely and positively sure your relationship can't be saved at all.
Sounds mad, reading what you have written, that two people who think the world of each other and still love and care for each other, should be apart.
To me, it doesn't sound like this should be happening
i thought the same reading...of course no one can ever know anothers heart,so a little bit of the life of jem...
After our second child was born kev and i separated...there were a number of reasons,not loving each other wasnt one of them...i moved 2 streets away and we tried to discover what had gone wrong,and rediscover what we knew worked..
Relationships can be saved if you do not burn your bridges.Time and communication,and space can work"Jem and Madchick, I totally understand and thank you for your replies. We have been here before, never actually HERE, but sat down and discussed changing things, and trying new things. Two people can't stay together, because they worry about what will happen to each other, if they part. If we part and both realise its a huge mistake, then I guess we will only know if that happens...I just know that we don't make each other happy, the way we used to, and we have tried, believe me we have. Its meant to be fun and carefree, granted not always, but surely more than not  | |||
" Jem and Madchick, I totally understand and thank you for your replies. We have been here before, never actually HERE, but sat down and discussed changing things, and trying new things. Two people can't stay together, because they worry about what will happen to each other, if they part. If we part and both realise its a huge mistake, then I guess we will only know if that happens...I just know that we don't make each other happy, the way we used to, and we have tried, believe me we have. Its meant to be fun and carefree, granted not always, but surely more than not "Can you reiterate on what is meant to be fun and carefree? Marriage or swinging? To ME, marriage can't always be fun and carefree. Responsibilities more often than not will take over your lives. Children, pets, In-Laws, Mortgages etc mean that no matter how much you want the original feelings from when you first met back, it doesn't always happen. When we got married 4 years ago, we went through the honeymoon stage. Shagging at every opportunity, going out, having fun, couldn't keep still or keep our hands off each other. Fun and carefree it was. That original Lust has been replaced by something far deeper and more satisfying. A true love that means we don't want to be apart and a deep respect that means that we understand each other. We still fancy each other rotten but it's no longer the be all and end all of the relationship. Companionship, love, mutual respect and mutual understanding is the glue that holds us together. If you are having problems that stem from swinging.......... then stop swinging for a while or completely change how you look at your swinging lives. We went from being a couple that 'only played together' to now walking in clubs together, going our separate ways, and going home together. It's taken nearly 4 years to work out what works for us......... but finally, we got there. We didn't give up, we went through the mill with it, but we never gave up. Why ever you two are splitting up is your business but I do hope that you can work it out....... Being apart from the person you love most in the world will break your heart | |||
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she and I are now good friends | |||
"Thanks guys and gals
Its a bit of a headfuck to say the least. No children or dogs involved, its just an odd place to be, but what we both want. Ive always seen that break-ups should be hell and nasty, but neither of us want to be that to each other, so this seems like the right thing to do...why should one have to go with a binbag full of clothes, when we still love and care for each other....sounds utterly insane, but I just hope we can do it....for both our sanity's
Are you absolutely and positively sure your relationship can't be saved at all.
Sounds mad, reading what you have written, that two people who think the world of each other and still love and care for each other, should be apart.
To me, it doesn't sound like this should be happening
i thought the same reading...of course no one can ever know anothers heart,so a little bit of the life of jem...
After our second child was born kev and i separated...there were a number of reasons,not loving each other wasnt one of them...i moved 2 streets away and we tried to discover what had gone wrong,and rediscover what we knew worked..
Relationships can be saved if you do not burn your bridges.Time and communication,and space can work
Jem and Madchick,
I totally understand and thank you for your replies. We have been here before, never actually HERE, but sat down and discussed changing things, and trying new things. Two people can't stay together, because they worry about what will happen to each other, if they part. If we part and both realise its a huge mistake, then I guess we will only know if that happens...I just know that we don't make each other happy, the way we used to, and we have tried, believe me we have. Its meant to be fun and carefree, granted not always, but surely more than not "perhaps then part...and see how that works...if its worse then look at what you want in the relationship...happiness is unobtainable in the long run...contentment is very different though. | |||
" Jem and Madchick, I totally understand and thank you for your replies. We have been here before, never actually HERE, but sat down and discussed changing things, and trying new things. Two people can't stay together, because they worry about what will happen to each other, if they part. If we part and both realise its a huge mistake, then I guess we will only know if that happens...I just know that we don't make each other happy, the way we used to, and we have tried, believe me we have. Its meant to be fun and carefree, granted not always, but surely more than not
Can you reiterate on what is meant to be fun and carefree?
Marriage or swinging?
To ME, marriage can't always be fun and carefree. Responsibilities more often than not will take over your lives. Children, pets, In-Laws, Mortgages etc mean that no matter how much you want the original feelings from when you first met back, it doesn't always happen.
When we got married 4 years ago, we went through the honeymoon stage. Shagging at every opportunity, going out, having fun, couldn't keep still or keep our hands off each other. Fun and carefree it was.
That original Lust has been replaced by something far deeper and more satisfying. A true love that means we don't want to be apart and a deep respect that means that we understand each other. We still fancy each other rotten but it's no longer the be all and end all of the relationship.
Companionship, love, mutual respect and mutual understanding is the glue that holds us together.
If you are having problems that stem from swinging.......... then stop swinging for a while or completely change how you look at your swinging lives.
We went from being a couple that 'only played together' to now walking in clubs together, going our separate ways, and going home together. It's taken nearly 4 years to work out what works for us......... but finally, we got there. We didn't give up, we went through the mill with it, but we never gave up.
Why ever you two are splitting up is your business but I do hope that you can work it out....... Being apart from the person you love most in the world will break your heart"I hear everything your saying, I truly do, BUT and there is always a but....We want different things, yes shock horror sexually and its not fair to ask that one changes to suit the other, to make them happy, if your not happy yourself. And that may be trying something your other half wants to but you don't, or giving up something your other half doesn't like, but you do....So do we both split with broken hearts, or stay together and break each others hearts! and destroy each other. Its a HUGE thing, but we have chatted about things in the last couple of days, that I think we both never had dared to before, and its been shocking, yet some what liberating. I originally posted on here as I am not familiar with breaking-up amicably and we both want to remain friends, but both see it as odd, as surely your meant to fight like cat and dog, not shake hands and wish each other luck.... Thanks again for the posts, all very insightful | |||
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" I originally posted on here as I am not familiar with breaking-up amicably and we both want to remain friends, but both see it as odd, as surely your meant to fight like cat and dog, not shake hands and wish each other luck.... Thanks again for the posts, all very insightful "Fighting like cat and dog is not a given. It doesn't have to happen. If you can refrain from fighting when you're hurting, when the hurt is less and the anger has subsided there might be something very worth salvaging. A true friendship based on mutual respect.  | |||
" Jem and Madchick, I totally understand and thank you for your replies. We have been here before, never actually HERE, but sat down and discussed changing things, and trying new things. Two people can't stay together, because they worry about what will happen to each other, if they part. If we part and both realise its a huge mistake, then I guess we will only know if that happens...I just know that we don't make each other happy, the way we used to, and we have tried, believe me we have. Its meant to be fun and carefree, granted not always, but surely more than not
Can you reiterate on what is meant to be fun and carefree?
Marriage or swinging?
To ME, marriage can't always be fun and carefree. Responsibilities more often than not will take over your lives. Children, pets, In-Laws, etc mean that no matter how much you want the original feelings from when you first met back, it doesn't always happen.
When we got married 4 years ago, we went through the honeymoon stage. Shagging at every opportunity, going out, having fun, couldn't keep still or keep our hands off each other. Fun and carefree it was.
That original Lust has been replaced by something far deeper and more satisfying. A true love that means we don't want to be apart and a deep respect that means that we understand each other. We still fancy each other rotten but it's no longer the be all and end all of the relationship.
Companionship, love, mutual respect and mutual understanding is the glue that holds us together.
If you are having problems that stem from swinging.......... then stop swinging for a while or completely change how you look at your swinging lives.
We went from being a couple that 'only played together' to now walking in clubs together, going our separate ways, and going home together. It's taken nearly 4 years to work out what works for us......... but finally, we got there. We didn't give up, we went through the mill with it, but we never gave up.
Why ever you two are splitting up is your business but I do hope that you can work it out....... Being apart from the person you love most in the world will break your heart
I hear everything your saying, I truly do, BUT and there is always a but....We want different things, yes shock horror sexually and its not fair to ask that one changes to suit the other, to make them happy, if your not happy yourself. And that may be trying something your other half wants to but you don't, or giving up something your other half doesn't like, but you do....So do we both split with broken hearts, or stay together and break each others hearts! and destroy each other. Its a HUGE thing, but we have chatted about things in the last couple of days, that I think we both never had dared to before, and its been shocking, yet some what liberating.
I originally posted on here as I am not familiar with breaking-up amicably and we both want to remain friends, but both see it as odd, as surely your meant to fight like cat and dog, not shake hands and wish each other luck....
Thanks again for the posts, all very insightful "i think their is nothing wrong with shaking hands and wishing each other good luck...im thinking of my bfg, she split with her Dom last year because she no longer felt they were right for each other, they are still v close friends,and care about each other...perhaps you arent fighting and being hurtful because you want to be friends...which is a good thing! | |||
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