FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Does money matter in a relationship?
Does money matter in a relationship?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Couldn't the fact that he lost it due to gambling have played a part in her leaving? If he said he'd lost it due to bad investments or some such maybe she'd have been more understanding? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
Couldn't the fact that he lost it due to gambling have played a part in her leaving? If he said he'd lost it due to bad investments or some such maybe she'd have been more understanding? "
Yes, he could of said that instead I reckon too, it would be better. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
Couldn't the fact that he lost it due to gambling have played a part in her leaving? If he said he'd lost it due to bad investments or some such maybe she'd have been more understanding? "
Investments are just gambling for wealthy people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
I would have left as I would never want to be with a gambler, nothing to do with having no money sorry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So the Mr has just left a very well paid job to go back to uni full time. Complete life change for us. Having to sell the house as my wage alone doesn't cover the cost. No more weekends away as and when we feel like it etc.
Do I love him less for that? No I don't. His job was extremely stressful and he he was miserable in it.
Money is great. But it doesn't keep you warm at night or tell you how much you mean to it. |
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I've lived both sides of the coin.
Yes having money made my life easier, didn't have to worry or juggle bills.
But it didn't help my relationship, well it helped him!
Money bought him happiness, not me.
If someone likes me now, then I know it's not for my bank balance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd guess the lady left due to the stupidity of losing all his money on gambling rather than him having no money, it's not important, you like who you like and I personally would live in a tent with the right person. |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Money does matter but its not a deal breaker if someone has a gambling habit then its a whole different matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would expect the guy who I end up settling down with, to contribute towards our bills/mortgage/holidays/nights out etc etc, just as much as I would do.
I've had male golddiggers try to take as much as they could from me. Even though I'm a single parent but I do have a career. I'm not a big earner. Not by a long shot.
So it is heartbreaking to find the person who professes to love you, is only with you to take what they can, even though you don't have alot.
Some men and women out there really have no shame. |
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I like a lady to be passionate in her career rather than drift. I am not about what they earn though.
I earn enough to sustain the lifestyle I like so long as the lady is happy in her job then I’m happy.
I like to travel a lot which is expensive to keep up with if you are a low earner. So some compromises need to be made. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Good idea. Shows what kind of woman she is that she wasn't willing to help him with his gambling addiction. She has a very casual view of for richer, for poorer. I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she ain't messin with no broke... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's rather unrealistic to not think people will take into account someones financial stranding when it comes to a relationship. "
I would agree with that to most people it matters to some extent. |
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"I think it's rather unrealistic to not think people will take into account someones financial stranding when it comes to a relationship. "
Maybe when you're deciding to enter a relationship. But once in one, it's unrealistic not to expect ups and downs. He made the money, he could make it back again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been poor and not so poor we can say that having money makes life easier. It also reduces one source of friction in a relationship. Health and happiness are much more important but having a comfortable amount of money is the cherry on the icing of the cake.
We also know people who have been comfortable and ruined their relationship and family life by chasing more money than they actually need. These are generally high flying guys who are travelling the world and leave lonely but rich wives and kids at home most of the year.
You’re only here once and relationships are more important than material things; once you have all your basic needs satisfied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fact being you will have shallow gold diggers in both sexes , people out for an easy ride pardon the pun , they must have very low respect for themselves and the people they are bumming off even less respect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Weve both come from nothing to being quite fortunate in life, were both 34 been together since we were 17 both have successful company's and a nice lifestyle. Has money changed us? Yes in the respect weve seen the world and do what we want when we want, i dont know what she earns she doesnt know what i earn. We both do alot of charitable work with homeless ect and stay humble.
We never argued about money yes we worried when in our early/mid 20s i was working 20 hours a day to pay my mortgage and and put food on the table. Ive worked my arse off and have a house with a pool and a bentley (im usually bombing around in a ford pick uo truck)but were the most down to earth people you would meet. we never discuss money and were careful shopping and shop for the best deals even wearing primark jeans right now!
Always stay humble never judge anyone by their wealth, status ect.
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"I think it's rather unrealistic to not think people will take into account someones financial stranding when it comes to a relationship.
Maybe when you're deciding to enter a relationship. But once in one, it's unrealistic not to expect ups and downs. He made the money, he could make it back again. "
I actually think the OPs story is one of those apocryphal just so fables. No one who has married someone for their money would just leave someone on the basis of the statement "I've gambled it all away".
For what it's worth, most marriages for money are probably of the exchange of looks for money variety where both parties are well aware of what they are getting into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I were in a relationship with someone that said they'd lost all the money gambling I reckon that'd test my resolve to stay with them too!
That example not withstanding, the promise of financial security didn't and couldn't make up for a lack of spark and a true connection. That just ain't me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could tell you a thing or two about being married to a man who gambled. My first husband. His family were millionaires, we were rich, very rich but he lived a champagne Charlie lifestyle, money didn’t make him happy and his gambling, boozing and smoking lifestyle made me miserable. He died young because of his addictions and yet we had everything going for us. I didn't marry him because of money and having so much money in the end made me sad and I think contributed to his early demise!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He didnt have a gambling problem or gambled. I explained it in the text."
I think it's the fact that he used that as his story Shag. And also the fact that he thought he needed to test her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It mattered to my ex husband..
He wanted all my money and financial control so he could use it for gambling, drinking and generally getting wasted..anything really rather than pay the bills ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a human equivalent of an animalistic trait, more than likely both rooted in the need for the female to free that their "environment" is secure and protected to be able to raise a family!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He didnt have a gambling problem or gambled. I explained it in the text.
I think it's the fact that he used that as his story Shag. And also the fact that he thought he needed to test her. "
That is right too, something must of triggered why he needed to do what he did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He didnt have a gambling problem or gambled. I explained it in the text.
I think it's the fact that he used that as his story Shag. And also the fact that he thought he needed to test her. That is right too, something must of triggered why he needed to do what he did."
He wanted to make sure she wasn't after his money. Maybe he's paranoid. Saying he gambled it away would make me reassess the relationship. I wouldn't want to live with someone so reckless with money. The fact he was skint wouldn't be the problem because you can warn more money. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Perhaps it wasn't the loss of money that made her leave but that he made her believe he was a gambling addict. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
Perhaps it wasn't the loss of money that made her leave but that he made her believe he was a gambling addict."
Perhaps it was but why take the risk. Something raised his suspicions in the first place. He'd be pretty pathetic to accept her after that. |
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Yes, money matters in a relationship it influences it a great deal. We've been through some very tough times financially and that can test even the strongest of couples. Life is a lot easier if you have no money worries.
Does it make a relationship better? I would say no.
If we're talking about people staying with someone just for their money, I can think of worse reasons. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It matters in the sense that you have to have enough to put a roof over your heads and pay the bills etc but it shouldn’t ever be the basis of a relationship. Very rich people always seem quite isolated and lonely to me, surrounded by staff rather than friends. Not my idea of happiness. |
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"He didnt have a gambling problem or gambled. I explained it in the text.
I think it's the fact that he used that as his story Shag. And also the fact that he thought he needed to test her. That is right too, something must of triggered why he needed to do what he did."
Yeah ...... the trigger was .....he's a twat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
How long were they together? Why was it just his money and not their money? |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I don't think money has a bearing with the right partner, it's pride where money is concerned where problems lie. For example if one earns 10k and the other 100k, what is defined as a happy medium if you want to split bills etc. Is it 50/50 or is it a case of one spends a percentage of their wage and the other does the same.
£1 isn't a lot if you have a thousand of them, but if you've only got 10 it's far more valuable. |
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"He didnt have a gambling problem or gambled. I explained it in the text."
He has a lying problem tho. And a twattish problem and a mistrust problem and a paranoia problem and the inability to discuss things as adults and a need to judge his partner and trick her with lies and then make up his own reasons for her reactions.
God he's not nice. |
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Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them."
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
money means nothing it buys things you can live without, it allows you to travel but you can have a good life without being wealthy if that was your inference
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness? "
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit! |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
In regards to this that is a terrible experiment as it introduces so many variables. Gambling affects people both mentally and jeopardises the wealth of the other partner, that is ample reason in itself to leave so,someone. That's before you factor in the fact that if it were a legit problem it has been withheld.
If you're going to do some form of social experiment at least do that bit right. Say your taxes have been filed wrong for years and it's been taken back. Or you could just trust the person and failing that don't hand out money frivolously because you set that benchmark for it to become acceptable which In turn feeds the paranoia more. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
The bit you missed out of the story Shag - is that he was a penniless waiter and she a rich business woman.
She took him on for better or worse and split everything with him.
One day when she was out working long hours.......... he told her he'd put the whole fucking shabang on a three legged donkey at Aintree.
He was really syphoning her dosh off into his accounts.
I hate him soooo much.
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
In regards to this that is a terrible experiment as it introduces so many variables. Gambling affects people both mentally and jeopardises the wealth of the other partner, that is ample reason in itself to leave so,someone. That's before you factor in the fact that if it were a legit problem it has been withheld.
If you're going to do some form of social experiment at least do that bit right. Say your taxes have been filed wrong for years and it's been taken back. Or you could just trust the person and failing that don't hand out money frivolously because you set that benchmark for it to become acceptable which In turn feeds the paranoia more."
I said that....... but I spelled it T.W.A.T. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit!"
Ahh god love yer, I’ll be setting up a just giving page if you carry on. How about fish and chips on Southport prom |
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit!
Ahh god love yer, I’ll be setting up a just giving page if you carry on. How about fish and chips on Southport prom "
How long will it take me to walk there?  |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?"
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip? |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
In regards to this that is a terrible experiment as it introduces so many variables. Gambling affects people both mentally and jeopardises the wealth of the other partner, that is ample reason in itself to leave so,someone. That's before you factor in the fact that if it were a legit problem it has been withheld.
If you're going to do some form of social experiment at least do that bit right. Say your taxes have been filed wrong for years and it's been taken back. Or you could just trust the person and failing that don't hand out money frivolously because you set that benchmark for it to become acceptable which In turn feeds the paranoia more.
I said that....... but I spelled it T.W.A.T."
To be fair I did picture it being some American who would have something like 'babys arm' as his license plate. And yes I've seen that before, I cried laughing because he didn't look like he'd seen it himself for a while |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip? "
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The 15 years I was with my ex we didn't have a pot to piss in. When we met I was a self employed taxi driver who didn't have a pot to piss in. Didn't make any difference to her. Sure, money helps, but it's not the be all and end all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit!
Ahh god love yer, I’ll be setting up a just giving page if you carry on. How about fish and chips on Southport prom
How long will it take me to walk there? "
Only about three days in sturdy shoes, I’ll have the kettle on and a bowl of hot water to soak your weary feet. See you Thursday ish. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im just up the road. Get ME fish n chips.
Jesus! Why are all the good turns just for the shaggables ?"
You get yours delivered by meals on wheels so stop yer moaning granny  |
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit!
Ahh god love yer, I’ll be setting up a just giving page if you carry on. How about fish and chips on Southport prom
How long will it take me to walk there?
Only about three days in sturdy shoes, I’ll have the kettle on and a bowl of hot water to soak your weary feet. See you Thursday ish. x"
No one will shag you with bleeding blisters. Wear pumps. |
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"Im just up the road. Get ME fish n chips.
Jesus! Why are all the good turns just for the shaggables ?
You get yours delivered by meals on wheels so stop yer moaning granny "
No. I want crispy batter. Just salt no vinegar. Ta x |
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"Im just up the road. Get ME fish n chips.
Jesus! Why are all the good turns just for the shaggables ?
You get yours delivered by meals on wheels so stop yer moaning granny
No. I want crispy batter. Just salt no vinegar. Ta x"
You want sore-finger?
(I'm allowed #HalfRiceHalfChips) |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat."
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn't attract me to people, in fact it puts me off.
It makes me feel inferior, and that I can't do for them as they can do for me.
I can't experience holidays with them etc coz I simply can't afford it therefore I feel I'm pulling them down and it's not fair on them.
Fancy a kebab and a weekend in Skegness?
Dustbin scraps and a tent in the garden is about my limit!
Ahh god love yer, I’ll be setting up a just giving page if you carry on. How about fish and chips on Southport prom
How long will it take me to walk there?
Only about three days in sturdy shoes, I’ll have the kettle on and a bowl of hot water to soak your weary feet. See you Thursday ish. x
No one will shag you with bleeding blisters. Wear pumps."
I will  |
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For 32 years my wife and I have struggled financially, we were mortgaged to the hilt, kids and expense of running cars, I’ve had to work away to support my family.
All of stress and strains of life, I got cancer and most of our debt is wiped out due to critical insurance policy we had. It’s funny to think a life threatening disease can help financially.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For 32 years my wife and I have struggled financially, we were mortgaged to the hilt, kids and expense of running cars, I’ve had to work away to support my family.
All of stress and strains of life, I got cancer and most of our debt is wiped out due to critical insurance policy we had. It’s funny to think a life threatening disease can help financially.
"
Every cloud and all that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!"
That is right, he exposed a gold digger there. |
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"To me no...money doesn't matter, yes it can help but it can't buy you happiness or love....xxxx
Being with someone who is broke while you pay all the bills can kill the love."
If they're not taking the piss and freeloading, making no effort whatsoever and just expecting you to foot the tab then maybe...but if they're just down on their luck then I'd argue is it really love if you get funny over money? |
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"So the Mr has just left a very well paid job to go back to uni full time. Complete life change for us. Having to sell the house as my wage alone doesn't cover the cost. No more weekends away as and when we feel like it etc.
Do I love him less for that? No I don't. His job was extremely stressful and he he was miserable in it.
Money is great. But it doesn't keep you warm at night or tell you how much you mean to it."
He's your husband, richer and poorer etc.
The other half moved into my house. One bedroom is his office, one is storeroom. He has more usable space in my house than I do: he's also a slob! The last year has been a struggle for him, not being able to contribute financially. The mortgage etc I pay. I retired two years ago with the view of selling up and downsizing. I've been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and awaiting a procedure reboot my heart so the move has been put on hold, but the bills still need paying. I've no one to share the financial burden and resentment has set in.
I wish I could say money doesn't matter, but for me being unequally yoked financially matters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I couldn't care less how much money someone else has. I have never asked a potential partner what job he has, how much he earns, what car he has etc... It is bugger all to do with me... Or how attractive I find them. I find people that are bothered about that stuff are not my kind of people. Even stopped seeing a guy because all he talked about was what he had done with his money and how expensive his possessions were, no thanks!  |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure. "
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me no...money doesn't matter, yes it can help but it can't buy you happiness or love....xxxx"
It can buy happiness - I'd be happy having a luxury holiday. |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions? "
It doesn't matter if I think you'd be justified or not really.
If once a relationship was established my fictional new partner fell on hard times through no fault of his own I'd stick with him. Having experienced a brief and disastrous marrriage to a gambling addict I would feel perfectly justified in dumping anyone who lost all their money in that or a similar way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would like to believe that money doesn't matter. But trust me it really does, while money can't buy you happiness. It will buy lots of peace of mind, it will buy you a lovely looking lady. Most of all it will buy you security.
We live in our means, what's rich to one person is pauperdom to another but everyone revolves around money. Everyone! |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!"
Don't be daft.
|
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there."
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
|
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"We would like to believe that money doesn't matter. But trust me it really does, while money can't buy you happiness. It will buy lots of peace of mind, it will buy you a lovely looking lady. Most of all it will buy you security.
We live in our means, what's rich to one person is pauperdom to another but everyone revolves around money. Everyone! "
Not really, not until there's a lack of it.
If I've got enough to put food on the table, a roof over my head and have a few creature comforts, more money don't mean shit to me |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions?
It doesn't matter if I think you'd be justified or not really.
If once a relationship was established my fictional new partner fell on hard times through no fault of his own I'd stick with him. Having experienced a brief and disastrous marrriage to a gambling addict I would feel perfectly justified in dumping anyone who lost all their money in that or a similar way."
Gambling addict is quite a loaded term. Gambling can be a viable full time occupation. I used to gamble an amount equal to a third my annual salary each weekend. I didn't stop because i was losing money (I profited overall) but it was like a second job trying to keep up with all the necessary research. I was dating a new girlfriend at that time and a significant part of my profits went on elaborate dates. I'd feel pretty pissed off if she dumped me if those dried up and I had to live off my regular salary. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there.
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
"
What exactly would proof be then? Should he raid her handbag to search for her gold diggers union membership card? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To me no...money doesn't matter, yes it can help but it can't buy you happiness or love....xxxx"
You try living with your hobo partner on the street's, and pay for your food electric, clothing fuel, etc out of your love!
|
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there.
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
What exactly would proof be then? Should he raid her handbag to search for her gold diggers union membership card? "
Either that or he says to himself..... this doesn't matter cos neither she nor I are real people but just part of a moralistic lesson that couldn't hold water if we bunged up the holes. |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions?
It doesn't matter if I think you'd be justified or not really.
If once a relationship was established my fictional new partner fell on hard times through no fault of his own I'd stick with him. Having experienced a brief and disastrous marrriage to a gambling addict I would feel perfectly justified in dumping anyone who lost all their money in that or a similar way.
Gambling addict is quite a loaded term. Gambling can be a viable full time occupation. I used to gamble an amount equal to a third my annual salary each weekend. I didn't stop because i was losing money (I profited overall) but it was like a second job trying to keep up with all the necessary research. I was dating a new girlfriend at that time and a significant part of my profits went on elaborate dates. I'd feel pretty pissed off if she dumped me if those dried up and I had to live off my regular salary. "
I used to feel pretty pissed off when an entire months salary plus a huge bank loan went on the back of a horse and the telly was kicked in when it lost but hey, we all have different experiences. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there.
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
What exactly would proof be then? Should he raid her handbag to search for her gold diggers union membership card?
Either that or he says to himself..... this doesn't matter cos neither she nor I are real people but just part of a moralistic lesson that couldn't hold water if we bunged up the holes."
 my mum used to give me booklets with cautionary tales like this in them. |
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there.
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
What exactly would proof be then? Should he raid her handbag to search for her gold diggers union membership card?
Either that or he says to himself..... this doesn't matter cos neither she nor I are real people but just part of a moralistic lesson that couldn't hold water if we bunged up the holes.
my mum used to give me booklets with cautionary tales like this in them."
What advice did they give about spotting gold diggers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Who's "we"?
Are you just making this up Shag- sounds like a Jeremy Kyles (vile) script! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more?
If someone told me they lost all our money gambling i'd fucking leave them too.
Not cos of the money but cos of the breech of trust and them being a grade A twat.
I notice in your story the money person is a man and the other party a woman. Co-incidence ........ I think not. Are these church meetings where these things are aired ?
Wasn't "our" money in the story. Freudian slip?
A granny slip.
She couldn't have been with him for his money unless he kept parting with his money and if he didn't want to keep parting with his money he shouldn't have. He should just have said .... earn your own fucking money.
M'lud the man is twice a twat.
Maybe he doesn't mind being a provider for a woman who is actually invested in him as a person, ever considered that?
What makes him a twat - the fact that he exposed a gold digger!That is right, he exposed a gold digger there.
No no no Shag.
You said 'he had a feeling' not he had proof that his partner was a gold digger.
He exposed his own lack of trust and his own lies.
What exactly would proof be then? Should he raid her handbag to search for her gold diggers union membership card?
Either that or he says to himself..... this doesn't matter cos neither she nor I are real people but just part of a moralistic lesson that couldn't hold water if we bunged up the holes.
my mum used to give me booklets with cautionary tales like this in them.
What advice did they give about spotting gold diggers? "
Gold diggers usually have a hard hat looking thing with a touch on. And a pick axe! Oh so my booklet said so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions? "
I can relate to Nice Couple - wanting someone who is financially secure as you enter the relationship. This doesn't mean fortunes won't change and that you'll dump them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would like to believe that money doesn't matter. But trust me it really does, while money can't buy you happiness. It will buy lots of peace of mind, it will buy you a lovely looking lady. Most of all it will buy you security.
We live in our means, what's rich to one person is pauperdom to another but everyone revolves around money. Everyone! "
Yep. I'm a pauper as I'm not on benefits or earn a wage, and yet I'm solvent in the fact I'm mortgage and debt free |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does it matter if the OP is true or not? I think it's an interesting question with interesting replies. "
And it could be true if the guy is simply dating a woman, ie a proper relationship hasn't even formed. |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions?
I can relate to Nice Couple - wanting someone who is financially secure as you enter the relationship. This doesn't mean fortunes won't change and that you'll dump them. "
I probably wouldn't have listed financial security as a requirement when I was much younger. There were after all years ahead of me for fortunes to change. That's no longer true. The prospect of living romantically on love and fresh air is far less appealing at 60 than it is at 30. Of course I wouldn't dump a guy if he went from millionaire to pauper through no fault of his own, I wouldn't dump a good looking guy who's looks were altered by illness or injury either. However I would protect myself from someone toxic and the fallout of their toxicity. |
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions?
I can relate to Nice Couple - wanting someone who is financially secure as you enter the relationship. This doesn't mean fortunes won't change and that you'll dump them.
I probably wouldn't have listed financial security as a requirement when I was much younger. There were after all years ahead of me for fortunes to change. That's no longer true. The prospect of living romantically on love and fresh air is far less appealing at 60 than it is at 30. Of course I wouldn't dump a guy if he went from millionaire to pauper through no fault of his own, I wouldn't dump a good looking guy who's looks were altered by illness or injury either. However I would protect myself from someone toxic and the fallout of their toxicity."
If we take the story at face value. He was financially secure. She failed to recognise that this act was out of line with the personality traits associated with a responsible guy. She didn't stick around to work out why that was. She got played for a fool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IF I was looking for a new partner one of my criteria would be that he must be financially secure.
One of my criteria if I was looking for a new partner is that she must be slim. Do you think I'd be justified in dumping her if she suddenly put on weight because of her own personal decisions?
I can relate to Nice Couple - wanting someone who is financially secure as you enter the relationship. This doesn't mean fortunes won't change and that you'll dump them.
I probably wouldn't have listed financial security as a requirement when I was much younger. There were after all years ahead of me for fortunes to change. That's no longer true. The prospect of living romantically on love and fresh air is far less appealing at 60 than it is at 30. Of course I wouldn't dump a guy if he went from millionaire to pauper through no fault of his own, I wouldn't dump a good looking guy who's looks were altered by illness or injury either. However I would protect myself from someone toxic and the fallout of their toxicity."
I totally understand that, being old myself . Older, wiser and joints aching |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
To be honest, if someone I was dating said they were into gambling I would dump them too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I knew a guy who had inherited a fairly substantial source of income which allowed him to live in a rather lovely apartment in little venice and to take two degrees and a masters and as many recreational drugs as he wanted and I have never met a lonelier soul in my life. He married what appeared to be a nice Home Counties girl who divorced him after three years and took a substantial part of his wealth. He’s even lonelier now that he doesn’t trust any woman who tries to get to know him especially as he knows it was all his own fault for not listening to his friends (he has no family to speak of) but he was in love with her. I don’t think she was a gold digger as such, I think they were just incompatible over time as he continued his bachelor lifestyle and had no outside influences (work) to encourage change. My point being that money doesn’t make you happy and in certain circumstances it just makes you isolated and lonely. I’ll take a mug of tea and a fish finger sandwich by the sea any day over lunch at the savoy. ( the ivy might swing it for me though!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
It can make life easier, sometimes it makes life harder.
But it's just keeping score.
People make people happy content safe even loved. If they are the people where you want to be. |
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If one person is permanently skint and expect a the other party to always pay for them then that can be a drain on a relationship.
It's the sense of entitlement rather than the lack of money that irritates me.
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By *r laidbackMan
over a year ago
London & New Brighton |
"If one person is permanently skint and expect a the other party to always pay for them then that can be a drain on a relationship.
It's the sense of entitlement rather than the lack of money that irritates me.
"
This is the quote of the day, very good point. |
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"If one person is permanently skint and expect a the other party to always pay for them then that can be a drain on a relationship.
It's the sense of entitlement rather than the lack of money that irritates me.
"
You mean like the sense of entitlement that a girlfriend has over her boyfriend's money, that he may or may not choose to gamble? |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now. "
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Money can buy all sorts including happiness. Just remember that happiness is not a continued state of being. Therefore it is more appropriate to state that money cannot guarantee happiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves. "
I'm poor, that's why I know money can buy happiness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that did an experiment on it, of course it matters, but not more than you like the person, he had a feeling that she was with him just cos of the money, he told her he lost it when he gambled, she left straight away, he then phoned her saying he had it all still, she was lost for words, whats your view if it, does it matters more? "
Not reading others replies but my first thoughts were, she found out he had a gambling addiction and that's not something one wants to live with. All the deceit that ensues. What else has he been lying about. 2nd she might have to pay the price for everything and what would stop him gambling her money. One may also think that a shock to his system of loosing her may have been what's needed for him to wise up... love can be hard and have difficult responses (her love for him and his best might have outweighed her loss of him). 3rd For him to consider that I'm guessing he just payed for everything and didn't give her the opportunity to show her appreciation of him on dates which can be seen as selfish maybe even a bit egotistical thinking he could buy her love... And she proved him wrong. 4th she may have already been thinking of leaving and that was the last straw. 5th maybe she thought what a dick head, selfish unsatisfied person wasting what he's worked for for so long to try to get more.
Some initial thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn’t buy you happiness but you are a lot unhappier without it "
We live in a society which conditions us to be dependent upon money. Bills, utilities, keeping up with the neighbours, advertisers influencing what we must have, warping the true meaning of need and want. Our society hascreated an economy dependant upon everyone having money to spend the money to get more money to spend more etc etc.
Depends on your definition of poor.
I've traveled allot and worked amongst some of the 'poorest' people you'll ever meet in African and India and I'll say I come away enriched by their generosity love and time they give. It always far outweighs any 'present' I get from anyone.
So to answer the question... money can buy happiness. But maybe we need to ask 'What is happiness?' first. Then again it all depends upon our own past experiences and expectations and external influences which will determine what happiness money can actually buy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not read the other replies so advance apology if I'm just repeating what others have said.
Yes some females do stay with males for financial security, for me that's rather like a business arrangement.
If she loves him all the better but love is not always the important aspect of some relationships.
Some males will flash their cash to get themselves a female or even a trophy wife, this has been around for ages.
Some people believe a female who stays with a male for financial gain is not much better than a pro. I think that's a very negative way of looking at things and it's much more complicated than that.
There are so many different situations you could go on all day really, sex sells and money is very important to many.
Gold diggers are around and will target their prey well. At the end of the day a pussy will always have more value than a cock.
A very crude way of putting things but sometimes it's easier to simplify things, than to overthink them. |
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"Money can buy all sorts including happiness. Just remember that happiness is not a continued state of being. Therefore it is more appropriate to state that money cannot guarantee happiness. "
Happiness is achieved, not purchased. |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
"
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
"
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Money doesn’t matter to me but to some it matters more than anything. I was in a relationship once where I paid for everything, food, drinks, holidays the lot. Then when I set up my own business, I ploughed everything I had into it, i couldn’t afford the expensive nights out and meals out for a few weeks, she was gone!
She was with me for what she could get and nothing more. |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves. "
I don't agree. In any society it's a necessary condition of any kind of contentment or happiness that some degree of material desires are satisfied. Hence the means of obtaining those material wants are necessary in all the times and places. You can't concentrate on the finer things in life if you're starving to death.
Note also. I said. "on the whole". There will always be some people who aren't interested in even the most basic material needs like food and shelter. However, it's impossible for most people to be like that, because if they were, all those fine non materialistic people would die. |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves.
I don't agree. In any society it's a necessary condition of any kind of contentment or happiness that some degree of material desires are satisfied. Hence the means of obtaining those material wants are necessary in all the times and places. You can't concentrate on the finer things in life if you're starving to death.
Note also. I said. "on the whole". There will always be some people who aren't interested in even the most basic material needs like food and shelter. However, it's impossible for most people to be like that, because if they were, all those fine non materialistic people would die. "
Sure, but that level is so low and so easy to achieve that I'm just saying that lets not be like the Europeans who discovered the Fuegians and be surprised they give precisely not fucks for our way of life. In this country, more people die by asphyxiation during masturbation, than starvation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves.
I don't agree. In any society it's a necessary condition of any kind of contentment or happiness that some degree of material desires are satisfied. Hence the means of obtaining those material wants are necessary in all the times and places. You can't concentrate on the finer things in life if you're starving to death.
Note also. I said. "on the whole". There will always be some people who aren't interested in even the most basic material needs like food and shelter. However, it's impossible for most people to be like that, because if they were, all those fine non materialistic people would die.
Sure, but that level is so low and so easy to achieve that I'm just saying that lets not be like the Europeans who discovered the Fuegians and be surprised they give precisely not fucks for our way of life. In this country, more people die by asphyxiation during masturbation, than starvation. "
Ha if we change starvation to malnutrition, I very much doubt it even not knowing the stats. |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves.
I don't agree. In any society it's a necessary condition of any kind of contentment or happiness that some degree of material desires are satisfied. Hence the means of obtaining those material wants are necessary in all the times and places. You can't concentrate on the finer things in life if you're starving to death.
Note also. I said. "on the whole". There will always be some people who aren't interested in even the most basic material needs like food and shelter. However, it's impossible for most people to be like that, because if they were, all those fine non materialistic people would die.
Sure, but that level is so low and so easy to achieve that I'm just saying that lets not be like the Europeans who discovered the Fuegians and be surprised they give precisely not fucks for our way of life. In this country, more people die by asphyxiation during masturbation, than starvation. "
Well Yes, people can live in an infinite number of ways, but at bottom there is always a desire for a socially approved level of material goods. I am not aware of any society where those in power did not accrue or try to accrue material goods. One can note, for example, that devotees of supposedly ascetic religions don't usually seem to stay ascetic when they are powerful enough to accrue material objects. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money can buy all sorts including happiness. Just remember that happiness is not a continued state of being. Therefore it is more appropriate to state that money cannot guarantee happiness.
Happiness is achieved, not purchased. "
Pendaticism. I'd "achieve" the state of happiness, no matter how brief, if I could afford to buy my favourite perfume.
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"Money can buy all sorts including happiness. Just remember that happiness is not a continued state of being. Therefore it is more appropriate to state that money cannot guarantee happiness.
Happiness is achieved, not purchased.
Pendaticism. I'd "achieve" the state of happiness, no matter how brief, if I could afford to buy my favourite perfume.
"
You wouldn't. That's an abuse of the term happiness. Just like eating chocolate cake doesn't achieve happiness because happiness is not sensory endulgence. |
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"I love the chorus of "money doesn't buy happiness" - who said it does!? Who is being argued against here!? Aristotle was saying that ~2,300 years ago, I think most people get it by now.
If we forget the commodity fetishism and consider what money actually is, it's the socially approved means of satisfying one's desires, given that, on balance, people tend to be happier when their desires are satisfied, on the whole people will tend to be happier when they have money, than not.
There's an enormous western contemporary bias in that statement. Therefore I can't support it.
When people say "money doesn't buy you happiness" it tends to be either poor people consoling themselves for their lack thereof or rich people justifying themselves.
I don't agree. In any society it's a necessary condition of any kind of contentment or happiness that some degree of material desires are satisfied. Hence the means of obtaining those material wants are necessary in all the times and places. You can't concentrate on the finer things in life if you're starving to death.
Note also. I said. "on the whole". There will always be some people who aren't interested in even the most basic material needs like food and shelter. However, it's impossible for most people to be like that, because if they were, all those fine non materialistic people would die.
Sure, but that level is so low and so easy to achieve that I'm just saying that lets not be like the Europeans who discovered the Fuegians and be surprised they give precisely not fucks for our way of life. In this country, more people die by asphyxiation during masturbation, than starvation.
Well Yes, people can live in an infinite number of ways, but at bottom there is always a desire for a socially approved level of material goods. I am not aware of any society where those in power did not accrue or try to accrue material goods. One can note, for example, that devotees of supposedly ascetic religions don't usually seem to stay ascetic when they are powerful enough to accrue material objects. "
In the case of the Fuegians, the quantity of material goods they sought was so small it horrified the Europeans. Generally they wanted to eat, fuck and sleep. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very little has been said about satisfaction. Unfortunately most studies have shown that the more one gets the more dissatisfied one becomes and one keeps looking for more to satisfy (little happiness is displayed). This state of dissatisfaction unfortunately turns on every aspect of that person and effects those they come in touch with. Disatisfaction is one of the key ingredients to the success of the modern western society and life style.
Many studies have revealed that true happiness is a concept lost in the west but when its experienced it's more of a fleeting passing experience like an echo due to the basis in which it is found. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???"
But are you happier |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TRUE love is priceless.
Id say perhaps you havent found it if you dont know.
Sadly there are people that will hide behind love for the payout.
This Dose not make it True love.
loneliness is a rich mans poverty.
Well thats what the rich old bastard said anywhooo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money can buy all sorts including happiness. Just remember that happiness is not a continued state of being. Therefore it is more appropriate to state that money cannot guarantee happiness.
Happiness is achieved, not purchased.
Pendaticism. I'd "achieve" the state of happiness, no matter how brief, if I could afford to buy my favourite perfume.
You wouldn't. That's an abuse of the term happiness. Just like eating chocolate cake doesn't achieve happiness because happiness is not sensory endulgence. "
Choc cake wouldn't make me happy. The perfume would (it has a story behind it). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???
But are you happier "
I'm under less financial pressure |
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???"
So money does matter then. To you and them. If it didn't you wouldn't mention it and they wouldn't care.
Given the choice of two men equal in every way but wealth I'd choose the wealthier one. If further down the line he lost it I'd deal with it according to circumstances at the time but I wouldn't walk away from an otherwise good relationship due to a change in financial circumstances alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We think money and success does attract women. Perhaps it’s a gold digging thing but perhaps more likely it’s to try and find the best provider for their children. We’re reminded of Peter Crouch, the footballer, being ask “What would you be if you weren’t a professional footballer” to which his answer was “A Virgin!”.
The reason women are attracted to rich men is probably that they will be a good provider for any offspring. Once they have a bond with the guy then they are more likely to stick with them even if they loose some of that money. |
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???
So money does matter then. To you and them. If it didn't you wouldn't mention it and they wouldn't care.
Given the choice of two men equal in every way but wealth I'd choose the wealthier one. If further down the line he lost it I'd deal with it according to circumstances at the time but I wouldn't walk away from an otherwise good relationship due to a change in financial circumstances alone. "
We'll yes, when you get to a certain age, you'll be wary of anyone, male or female, who hasn't got their financial shit together... |
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???
So money does matter then. To you and them. If it didn't you wouldn't mention it and they wouldn't care.
Given the choice of two men equal in every way but wealth I'd choose the wealthier one. If further down the line he lost it I'd deal with it according to circumstances at the time but I wouldn't walk away from an otherwise good relationship due to a change in financial circumstances alone.
We'll yes, when you get to a certain age, you'll be wary of anyone, male or female, who hasn't got their financial shit together... "
That's why Jesus stayed single innit |
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"Does money matter? I was a single dad to my kids for 6 years, I had nothing for myself really in those years, used dating sites and struggled to get anywhere. Now my kids are grown up I suddenly have money, bought a nice bungalow, leased a brand new car, bought some nice clothes and guess what I've become loads more popular on the dating sites???
So money does matter then. To you and them. If it didn't you wouldn't mention it and they wouldn't care.
Given the choice of two men equal in every way but wealth I'd choose the wealthier one. If further down the line he lost it I'd deal with it according to circumstances at the time but I wouldn't walk away from an otherwise good relationship due to a change in financial circumstances alone.
We'll yes, when you get to a certain age, you'll be wary of anyone, male or female, who hasn't got their financial shit together... "
Yep. I wouldn't want a millionaire necessarily just someone able to stump up his half of the bill in the Age Concern coffee bar. The penniless artist in his garrett scenario has lost its appeal for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money doesn’t matter to me but to some it matters more than anything. I was in a relationship once where I paid for everything, food, drinks, holidays the lot. Then when I set up my own business, I ploughed everything I had into it, i couldn’t afford the expensive nights out and meals out for a few weeks, she was gone!
She was with me for what she could get and nothing more. "
Be thankful she showed her true colours and set you free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've watched those gold digger exposes videos online where guys have approached women and been blown off then they walk off and get into a super car and the woman comes over and wants to date the guy!
Money doesn't matter to me, aesthetics do, a handsome broke guy with a decent penis would be more use to me then a not so attractive rich guy.
If I was ever in that situation and I wasn't attracted to the guy I would politely tell him that I didn't want to date him, if I saw him getting into a Ferrari or Lamborghini I would run after him but explain that I still have no romantic interest in him but love the noise of supercars amd would ask him to rev the engine for me! |
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