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Lisa B's Agony Aunt Thread
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
Let Aunty Lisa dispense dubious advice to those brave enough to ask.
I have a notepad & pen, and I'm wearing my 'inteligent but caring' glasses.
Have a seat, and tell me your problems...  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Aunty Lisa,
I'm full of cold and feeling crappy. Is there anything you can do to help me?  "
Wear your big girl pants. With a Tena pad. Should help when you cough and sneeze.
And get well soon, dearie |
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"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
A magnifying glass might be better, dear..."
I suggested a monocle (as a compromise) but she said I was a perve  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
A magnifying glass might be better, dear...
I suggested a monocle (as a compromise) but she said I was a perve "
A monocle would hardly be strong enough, would it? Be practical, duckie...  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Aunty Lisa!
Why do I have to clean my house in advance of the cleaner coming?? Surely there must be a way to leave a message and not feel judged??
Px"
You don't have to clean, dear. Let the paid help do that. Just make sure that your collection of fettish sex toys are removed from the display cabinet. Finding new help is such a chore... |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked? "
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post! 
This way for Auntie J’s responses |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses "
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example... |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example..."
Lol mine is rubbish,
Wait is this the agony bit of your advice?  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example...
Lol mine is rubbish,
Wait is this the agony bit of your advice? "
Yes, dear. Listening to you is agony. |
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"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example..."
Class.  I was going to air my grievance, but now I am just too scared.  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example...
Class. I was going to air my grievance, but now I am just too scared. "
Be brave, dear.. |
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"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses "
Thank you. Ditto you  |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example...
Lol mine is rubbish,
Wait is this the agony bit of your advice?
Yes, dear. Listening to you is agony."
Is crying into the bottom of an empty glass my best option after reading your advice?  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
My ability to attract local couples with my glittery unicorn ways is gone. What do i do?
Not so glittery unicorn "
Well, duckie, some people are just silly not to see your glitteriness. The only way forward is to throw more glitter over yourself (be sure to stand on a sheet of newspaper to catch all the spare glitter). |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example...
Lol mine is rubbish,
Wait is this the agony bit of your advice?
Yes, dear. Listening to you is agony.
Is crying into the bottom of an empty glass my best option after reading your advice? "
Yes dear.
But you can improve, if you try. |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Would it be a good idea to insist that ladies wear strong reading glasses when I’m naked?
Don’t listen to Auntie Lisa Steve, I think you’ve got a hot body..l
Shall I start a new post!
This way for Auntie J’s responses
Photography can be so misleading, dear. Look at yours, for example...
Lol mine is rubbish,
Wait is this the agony bit of your advice?
Yes, dear. Listening to you is agony.
Is crying into the bottom of an empty glass my best option after reading your advice?
Yes dear.
But you can improve, if you try."
|
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple? "
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.! |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!"
I answered on behalf of Auntie Lisa has she has delicate sensitivities that have to be handled with care. |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!"
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post... |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple? "
You can shove an apple up your arse, but a window?  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple? "
Well, Apple might have prevented your constipation, dearie |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
I answered on behalf of Auntie Lisa has she has delicate sensitivities that have to be handled with care. "
Auntie Lisa can speak for herself. Perhaps you should learn to, as well. |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post..."
Oh, I shan’t be joining in any more. I found a more fulfilling pastime actually. |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post..."
God forbid...  |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
I answered on behalf of Auntie Lisa has she has delicate sensitivities that have to be handled with care.
Auntie Lisa can speak for herself. Perhaps you should learn to, as well."
do I look like a bloody ventriloquist?! |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!"
Dear Uncle, I’ve just followed your advice and have achieved the most wonderful orgasm of my life. Thank you  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
Oh, I shan’t be joining in any more. I found a more fulfilling pastime actually. "
I'm so pleased that you are trying to do something interesting. Good luck with that |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
God forbid... "
she has |
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"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
Oh, I shan’t be joining in any more. I found a more fulfilling pastime actually.
I'm so pleased that you are trying to do something interesting. Good luck with that "
you don’t know what it is yet! |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
I answered on behalf of Auntie Lisa has she has delicate sensitivities that have to be handled with care.
Auntie Lisa can speak for herself. Perhaps you should learn to, as well. do I look like a bloody ventriloquist?! "
Do you have a hand up your bottom? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
God forbid... she has "
She has indeed.  |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
Oh, I shan’t be joining in any more. I found a more fulfilling pastime actually.
I'm so pleased that you are trying to do something interesting. Good luck with that you don’t know what it is yet! "
Do I need to know? Let's face it, dominoes is hardly thrilling.. |
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"I was happy when I joined the thread but am now feeling sad.
Why are you sad, dear?"
no, I said I’m feeling sad. Sad says I have magic fingers and can do a Strickly Tango with them in time to the dance on Tv. |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I was happy when I joined the thread but am now feeling sad.
Please do cheer up. Tell us about your dominoes? I’ve been told I can’t put the 6 with the 9  "
Whoever told you that was dotty... |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear aunty Lisa I've been wanting to have anal sex with my wife for years but she won't let me in can you suggest anything to put her mind at ease"
Show her how small your penis is. That should reassure her. |
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"I was happy when I joined the thread but am now feeling sad.
Please do cheer up. Tell us about your dominoes? I’ve been told I can’t put the 6 with the 9
Whoever told you that was dotty... "
nah, it wasn’t her. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just strained too hard on the bog and have now subsequently suffered a full rectal prolapse.
Anyway, on to my problem; which is better, Windows or Apple?
Shove the apple up ya arse to stop it happening again. Please don’t do it in front of your window.!
Now wondering if it’s an Auntie and Uncle agony (literal) post...
Oh, I shan’t be joining in any more. I found a more fulfilling pastime actually.
I'm so pleased that you are trying to do something interesting. Good luck with that you don’t know what it is yet!
Do I need to know? Let's face it, dominoes is hardly thrilling.."
There are better pizzas out there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear aunty Lisa. I quite fancy someone on the forums but he doesn’t know and I’m a bit shy so can you suggest how I can word my message please. Thanking you in anticipation. |
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"Dear aunty Lisa. I quite fancy someone on the forums but he doesn’t know and I’m a bit shy so can you suggest how I can word my message please. Thanking you in anticipation. "
Just say “Steve ya sexy fuck” and see what he says in reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let Aunty Lisa dispense dubious advice to those brave enough to ask.
I have a notepad & pen, and I'm wearing my 'inteligent but caring' glasses.
Have a seat, and tell me your problems... "
You look familiar.........were you doing confessions a wee bit back? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear aunty Lisa. I quite fancy someone on the forums but he doesn’t know and I’m a bit shy so can you suggest how I can word my message please. Thanking you in anticipation. "
Well dear, would you like me to be a go-between for you? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Let Aunty Lisa dispense dubious advice to those brave enough to ask.
I have a notepad & pen, and I'm wearing my 'inteligent but caring' glasses.
Have a seat, and tell me your problems...
You look familiar.........were you doing confessions a wee bit back? "
That was my sister... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let Aunty Lisa dispense dubious advice to those brave enough to ask.
I have a notepad & pen, and I'm wearing my 'inteligent but caring' glasses.
Have a seat, and tell me your problems...
You look familiar.........were you doing confessions a wee bit back?
That was my sister... "
Twins? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Let Aunty Lisa dispense dubious advice to those brave enough to ask.
I have a notepad & pen, and I'm wearing my 'inteligent but caring' glasses.
Have a seat, and tell me your problems...
You look familiar.........were you doing confessions a wee bit back?
That was my sister...
Twins? "
Yup! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
I never thought that my crush would have a double on this site. I don't want to miss this chance, but her filters say I'm too old and can't PM her. What should I do next and should I tell her why I fancy her? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I never thought that my crush would have a double on this site. I don't want to miss this chance, but her filters say I'm too old and can't PM her. What should I do next and should I tell her why I fancy her?"
Start a thread. I'm sure she'll be flattered that you fancy someone that looks like her. |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"I bought a new house and while it's got the potential to be beautiful I'm concerned I've taken on too much "
Sort the structural work first.
Then work from upstairs to downstairs.
Shag the local handyman. |
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Dear Lisa
A lady friend of mine (known as The Echo down the docks) says she is scared my cock (which she mischievous ly calls ‘thrust missile’) will widen her labia to such an extend she may have trouble the next day folding them back in so said no to a fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I bought a new house and while it's got the potential to be beautiful I'm concerned I've taken on too much
Sort the structural work first.
Then work from upstairs to downstairs.
Shag the local handyman."
Oh! I could shag one of each trade! I like your thinking!
Or 2, get the work done twice as fast! |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I never thought that my crush would have a double on this site. I don't want to miss this chance, but her filters say I'm too old and can't PM her. What should I do next and should I tell her why I fancy her?
Start a thread. I'm sure she'll be flattered that you fancy someone that looks like her."
I've already done that, I just haven't said who she is, yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I bought a new house and while it's got the potential to be beautiful I'm concerned I've taken on too much
Sort the structural work first.
Then work from upstairs to downstairs.
Shag the local handyman.
Oh! I could shag one of each trade! I like your thinking!
Or 2, get the work done twice as fast! "
If you need a hand....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Aunty Lisa,
I’ve just sprayed Cillit Bang down my pants.
Would Mr Muscle have been better in relieving the itch?
Many thanks in advance "
At least the dirt will be gone though |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Dear Lisa
A lady friend of mine (known as The Echo down the docks) says she is scared my cock (which she mischievous ly calls ‘thrust missile’) will widen her labia to such an extend she may have trouble the next day folding them back in so said no to a fuck. "
Is that what she told you? |
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By *isaB45 OP Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Auntie lisa,
I saw a thread recently that suggested a full growth of pubes is now fashionable...
Should I stop trimming and grow myself a bush that'd make a 70's porn star jealous? "
Was bush ever out of fashion? |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"I never thought that my crush would have a double on this site. I don't want to miss this chance, but her filters say I'm too old and can't PM her. What should I do next and should I tell her why I fancy her?
Start a thread. I'm sure she'll be flattered that you fancy someone that looks like her.
I've already done that, I just haven't said who she is, yet. "
DId another thread called "Who has the sexiest eyes on fab...?" Subtle, eh?
Here's what was said...
"I know someone who has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. She's not on fab though.
(ME) So do I !
(ME) She has a double who is on fab and goes by the name of Hannah.Solo. Her eyes are amazing. Just like my crush's in Vanilla Land."
(HER) Thanks OP, that’s very kind
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