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When compliments go wrong
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm interested in the line between compliments that turn you on and ones that turn you off
This is a fun thread for examples of terrible compliments. But also feel free to let us know what types of compliments you'd prefer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t like the ones that say “you’re stunning “ I’m not, or fantastic tits. But a few have made me blush in a good way, like I was told I’m much prettier in person, and I have very expressive eyes. They were sincere x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When people say “you’re quite pretty...” or “quite good looking” or so on, you get the ‘quite’ makes it rather faint praise!
Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with? |
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I prefer to be complimented on my character and personality, because they are where our true value lies, though it's always nice to be told you look good on a night out or whatever.
The generic 'You're stunning' comments on here are sadly fairly meaningless because so often they are insincere - I feel sorry for those who are sincere.
But when someone you know tells you why they find you so desirable, or says you 'turn them on something rotten', well it warms the cockles!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top? "
On here?
Given by strangers who are only after a legover...extremely fawning |
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"Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with? "
We’ve clearly had a message from the same guy because I’ve had that exact same “dogshit” line! He also said “girls like you are the reason I need to cheat on her”. Really unpleasant  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top? "
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm not really one for comments on my appearance but today a stranger came up to me and said I was a striking looking woman. And the fact he stopped and took the time and used a different word was nice. On here I think most of it is  . I don't know, I like the sincere ones that are unexpected.
The worse ones are ones that comment on my skin colour or hair and follow up with me being exotic. I grew up in fucking Hertfordshire. There's nothing exotic about me. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with?
We’ve clearly had a message from the same guy because I’ve had that exact same “dogshit” line! He also said “girls like you are the reason I need to cheat on her”. Really unpleasant "
Me too! Someone’s been busy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with?
We’ve clearly had a message from the same guy because I’ve had that exact same “dogshit” line! He also said “girls like you are the reason I need to cheat on her”. Really unpleasant "
It’s virtually a meme, this line goes round on this site, dating sites and the like all the time. What I don’t get is if the person (I’ve had it multiple times from different users) is simply doing it as it amuses them to send a silly message or if they have the slightest belief it might work, it’s baffling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with?
We’ve clearly had a message from the same guy because I’ve had that exact same “dogshit” line! He also said “girls like you are the reason I need to cheat on her”. Really unpleasant "
Omg I’ve had this too. It’s horrible  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment? "
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times "
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there."
It doesn't. If there wasn't some sort of attraction then you wouldn't be talking at all. Whether that attraction leads to something more personal and intimate down the road is a question for every future. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result..."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result...
"
I think that’s an interesting response, Soulful. You’re negating the fact that a compliment doesn’t have to be to “get the fuck”, the result.
If you only give compliments to get your leg over then I’m afraid yes, it can come across contrived.
You can give a compliment simply to boost someone, or because you’ve genuinely been struck by something positive about someone etc. It doesn’t always have to be an old school car salesman closing the deal sleazefest or permutations of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a compliment once that started off well, and ended not so well....
"You're a pretty girl.... Do you suck cock?"
 "
This is half the reason I can’t leave. The entertainment value! |
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By *itpaulMan
over a year ago
kidsgrove |
It's a difficult one I think - totally agree it's pretty obvious you find someone attractive from the fact you're sending them a message..
The challenge for me is if there's not much in someone's profile to work with, then sometimes you're reduced to using vague compliments as a means of starting a conversation. It's insincere I guess, but hardly that bad if it's just used to get an initial chat going.. I call it flirting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've told this one before but it's a goodie.
A youngish man was stroking my arms and elbows as we lay chatting after sex and said "You have lovely soft skin...for an old woman ". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a compliment once that started off well, and ended not so well....
"You're a pretty girl.... Do you suck cock?"
This is half the reason I can’t leave. The entertainment value! "
I've heard some corkers,but that one always stood out because I wasn't expecting it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've told this one before but it's a goodie.
A youngish man was stroking my arms and elbows as we lay chatting after sex and said "You have lovely soft skin...for an old woman "."
Hahaha. Has he still got his teeth? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result...
I think that’s an interesting response, Soulful. You’re negating the fact that a compliment doesn’t have to be to “get the fuck”, the result.
If you only give compliments to get your leg over then I’m afraid yes, it can come across contrived.
You can give a compliment simply to boost someone, or because you’ve genuinely been struck by something positive about someone etc. It doesn’t always have to be an old school car salesman closing the deal sleazefest or permutations of that."
I'm just getting a bit tired of your agenda that's all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result...
I think that’s an interesting response, Soulful. You’re negating the fact that a compliment doesn’t have to be to “get the fuck”, the result.
If you only give compliments to get your leg over then I’m afraid yes, it can come across contrived.
You can give a compliment simply to boost someone, or because you’ve genuinely been struck by something positive about someone etc. It doesn’t always have to be an old school car salesman closing the deal sleazefest or permutations of that.
I'm just getting a bit tired of your agenda that's all "
Agenda? Eh?
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"Or the guys that say “you’re much better looking than my girlfriend, she’s like dogshit compared to you” - seriously, why would any single aspect of that be something I want to engage with?
We’ve clearly had a message from the same guy because I’ve had that exact same “dogshit” line! He also said “girls like you are the reason I need to cheat on her”. Really unpleasant
Me too! Someone’s been busy "
And me! |
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"Do women find them too fawning sometimes? Do you prefer them if they're not so over the top?
Let me ask a question back; what is the reason you want to give someone a compliment?
I assume the process of exchanging messages with a potential new meet on here involves some use of compliments on either side, just to make clear that there is an initial attraction there. I just wonder how many times guys bugger it up by laying it on too thick. I'm guessing alot of times
So it’s how to compliment so as to get a result...
I think that’s an interesting response, Soulful. You’re negating the fact that a compliment doesn’t have to be to “get the fuck”, the result.
If you only give compliments to get your leg over then I’m afraid yes, it can come across contrived.
You can give a compliment simply to boost someone, or because you’ve genuinely been struck by something positive about someone etc. It doesn’t always have to be an old school car salesman closing the deal sleazefest or permutations of that.
I'm just getting a bit tired of your agenda that's all "
I think it’s a pretty fair and reasonable answer to your question. You asked where the line is between a good compliment and a bad one, and the answer is that the line is dictated by the intent. If a compliment is given sincerely and is a genuine observation made after getting to know someone a bit, or meeting them in person, and the intention is just to be nice and make them feel good then that compliment will probably be received well even if delivered imperfectly. On the other hand, a perfectly crafted (almost “focus grouped”) compliment which reads like something from a PUA manual will fall flat if the intent is just to get the recipient to agree to have sex. I don’t think that’s an agenda, that’s just a pretty good answer to your original question! |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I frequently am told "you're extremely mature for your age" which is intended as a compliment. However, I do find there's often a condescending tone to the statement as more often than not them highlighting my age means if ever there's a difference of opinion on something the first thing that they use to try discredit my opinion is naïveté due to the number of years I've been on the planet. This isn't always the case but it's more often than not an accurate deduction. |
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"I frequently am told "you're extremely mature for your age" which is intended as a compliment. However, I do find there's often a condescending tone to the statement as more often than not them highlighting my age means if ever there's a difference of opinion on something the first thing that they use to try discredit my opinion is naïveté due to the number of years I've been on the planet. This isn't always the case but it's more often than not an accurate deduction."
It works in reverse. My opinion is frequently discounted on certain subjects because it's assumed I'm unlikely to know about it as I'm too old.
A minor example is the patronising way younger people ask me if I can use email. I've taken to smiling and saying " yes, what would you like to know about it?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I frequently am told "you're extremely mature for your age" which is intended as a compliment. However, I do find there's often a condescending tone to the statement as more often than not them highlighting my age means if ever there's a difference of opinion on something the first thing that they use to try discredit my opinion is naïveté due to the number of years I've been on the planet. This isn't always the case but it's more often than not an accurate deduction.
It works in reverse. My opinion is frequently discounted on certain subjects because it's assumed I'm unlikely to know about it as I'm too old.
A minor example is the patronising way younger people ask me if I can use email. I've taken to smiling and saying " yes, what would you like to know about it?""
When I ask my kids help with something technical and they roll their eyes and say 'oh mum!' I reply with
'Oi- I taught you how to use a spoon " |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"I frequently am told "you're extremely mature for your age" which is intended as a compliment. However, I do find there's often a condescending tone to the statement as more often than not them highlighting my age means if ever there's a difference of opinion on something the first thing that they use to try discredit my opinion is naïveté due to the number of years I've been on the planet. This isn't always the case but it's more often than not an accurate deduction.
It works in reverse. My opinion is frequently discounted on certain subjects because it's assumed I'm unlikely to know about it as I'm too old.
A minor example is the patronising way younger people ask me if I can use email. I've taken to smiling and saying " yes, what would you like to know about it?""
Exactly, it's just one of those things people say. Issue is if they make the point of specifying it's a surprise to them it also means you're likely to run into that wall again where everything is going to boil down to age and it shouldn't be that way, I much prefer just chucking age out of the window and take someone how they are and see if I get on with them on an intellectual basis as oppose to a age. I there's no inferior/superior complex because of time. At least that's not the way it should be.
It's like when people say respect your elders,no. You respect everyone and reciprocate the level they show you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't believe any compliment from people who don't know me.
The only compliments I'll take are from husband and our fwb's, and even then I'm sceptical.
What can I say, I'm a cynic and a realist when it comes to compliments from random people. |
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after sending a face pic she so wants me 