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Why dont men get more often custody rights?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We know someone that is a weekend dad, he is french and she is swedish and he have been trying to see the kid more, but the mother wont let him, he is now seeing him even less, if he goes to court he will be in for a long battle, the law is usually with the woman, why should it be harder for men to get the right, whats your view? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not that huge a difference.
I know the last stats are getting on i.e. from 2011, but 51% of custodial decisions went the way of the mother -not a huge leaning. 83% went to the mother only in cases where both parents had come to an agreement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We know someone that is a weekend dad, he is french and she is swedish and he have been trying to see the kid more, but the mother wont let him, he is now seeing him even less, if he goes to court he will be in for a long battle, the law is usually with the woman, why should it be harder for men to get the right, whats your view?"
Probably because the courts perceive the mother is a slightly better carer to bring up a child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it's because the mother is seen as nurturing although it's not always the case? It's sad to say in a lot of cases the children end up being used as a weapon to hurt the other partner due to the anger and hurt caused by a split. My ex wife admitted she didn't want custody of our daughter as it would spoil the lifestyle she wanted but her solicitors still told her to go for full custody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because if men stopped working to look after kids the economy would collapse. "
Or took the kinds of jobs women do so they can look after children alone, with no grandparents to do childcare, they would be taking big pay cuts.
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"We know someone that is a weekend dad, he is french and she is swedish and he have been trying to see the kid more, but the mother wont let him, he is now seeing him even less, if he goes to court he will be in for a long battle, the law is usually with the woman, why should it be harder for men to get the right, whats your view?"
I think that from the mans perspective the odds appear to be strongly in the women’s favour. So you have a choice of whether you want a potentially long and painful battle, with the chance of getting less like your French friend did or agreeing to the status quo.
It’s not a nice position either way  |
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"Because if men stopped working to look after kids the economy would collapse.
Or took the kinds of jobs women do so they can look after children alone, with no grandparents to do childcare, they would be taking big pay cuts.
"
Exactly.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the women are doing the majority of the childcare before the divorce then why change things.
In my experience a dad will only want full custody if the mother is unfit to care for her children, or in some cases, if he doesn't want the children taken out of a religious community. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the women are doing the majority of the childcare before the divorce then why change things.
In my experience a dad will only want full custody if the mother is unfit to care for her children, or in some cases, if he doesn't want the children taken out of a religious community."
I would agree with that its a matter of stability for the children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's because the mother is seen as nurturing although it's not always the case? It's sad to say in a lot of cases the children end up being used as a weapon to hurt the other partner due to the anger and hurt caused by a split. My ex wife admitted she didn't want custody of our daughter as it would spoil the lifestyle she wanted but her solicitors still told her to go for full custody. "
Which she would not get (ordinarily) if dad was named on the birth certificate - parental responsibility and all that. That said, a mother admitting she doesn't want the child - doesn't deserve the child |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe it's because the mother is seen as nurturing although it's not always the case? It's sad to say in a lot of cases the children end up being used as a weapon to hurt the other partner due to the anger and hurt caused by a split. My ex wife admitted she didn't want custody of our daughter as it would spoil the lifestyle she wanted but her solicitors still told her to go for full custody.
Which she would not get (ordinarily) if dad was named on the birth certificate - parental responsibility and all that. That said, a mother admitting she doesn't want the child - doesn't deserve the child "
exactly! When the lifestyle she wanted didn't turn out to be as she expected she decided it was time to play at being mummy again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think it’s like that nowadays. More and more parents have shared residency. The Court will always look at what is in the child’s best interests. |
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"Because if men stopped working to look after kids the economy would collapse.
Or took the kinds of jobs women do so they can look after children alone, with no grandparents to do childcare, they would be taking big pay cuts.
"
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"Because if men stopped working to look after kids the economy would collapse.
Or took the kinds of jobs women do so they can look after children alone, with no grandparents to do childcare, they would be taking big pay cuts.
"
Ace profile name. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive been a full time dad to my boys for five years. I do everything for them. Its hard work but i love it. We’re an amazing family.
They get as much love from me as any mother could give their child |
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My ex never got up for a night feed. She has never cooked my son a meal since he was a teeny toddler. I have been there breakfast and after school for him all of his life. I set up my working life around him.
She did nothing. She went for promotion at her job shortly after returning from maternity. I simply mopped up round about her.
I'd do it all again for my son. He's just leaving school at Christmas and going to Uni after the Summer 2019.
Because we were never married, even though we lived together and I was the biological father and we were a family... I was not entitled to Parental Rights. She refused to sign the form. It meant she had free childcare, a shopper, summer holiday and round-the-clock child-minding and she thought that her manipulative threats would hold me in some kind of trap. After a decade of her cold shoulder, I got the forms and took her to court. It cost me £11. I won my Parental Rights. She lost a war she started. My son chose to stay with me. I would suggest "Challenge" every time. |
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In Scotland there is shared parental responsibility. However my daughter lives with me because my ex was locked up for domestic abuse. She still sees him (although only once a month as he lives in England) despite this. So as much as I feel she shouldn't see him, she does and in a way i feel that the law has protected him as well. Annoying but fair.
It must be so difficult if the dad isn't named on the birth certificate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What we need is to discover a new continent, then we can take all kids away from perceived dysfunctional families and sell them a slaves to the new continent settlers
Please don't kill me, I am taking the piss... But that's kind of how they got Australia up and running.... |
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its always sad .my personal experience was I had to fight to get access and even then when I won my ex still made it as difficult as possible to see my sons ...but the oldest decided he wanted to live with me when he was 13 and the youngest turned up when he was 16 ....so it’s always worth fighting x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I left my ex due to DA I was the main carer for my son and her as I had been since his birth. In the custody case I was given less custodian rights than I was currently having since leaving and my now ex is trying harder harder to reduce this and turn my son against me.
The system is in full support of the mother and blind in some cases to what is actually happening. It’s not good. But kids aren’t stupid and do see what’s going on. |
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"When I left my ex due to DA I was the main carer for my son and her as I had been since his birth. In the custody case I was given less custodian rights than I was currently having since leaving and my now ex is trying harder harder to reduce this and turn my son against me.
The system is in full support of the mother and blind in some cases to what is actually happening. It’s not good. But kids aren’t stupid and do see what’s going on. "
I genuinely believe trying to turn a child against a parent....either parent is appalling. Tantamount to child abuse if you ask me.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good bitch about my ex but never in front of our daughter.
You are right. Kids aren't daft and they will remember things so don't worry too much. |
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