FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Warning signs he's playing you for a fool

Warning signs he's playing you for a fool

By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Girl, same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That would depend on what was agreed between us and what level of commitment.

There could be many things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In an exclusive sex only relationship you will never know if he's seeing someone else and have to trust him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When we message people to try to arrange a single meet we are honest. We tell them it’s just about sex. That said we’ve had people trying to play us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When your gut tells you he’s not playing by the rules you’d agreed. That’s a big sign.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/10/18 22:34:11]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You women are so gullible and naive,takes cover!

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"When we message people to try to arrange a single meet we are honest. We tell them it’s just about sex. That said we’ve had people trying to play us."

You are a couple. Sorry how do you mean play you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gut instinct & intuation are never wrong it's your internal warning system. Follow them not your heart.

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By *river88Man over a year ago

wigan

It's a hard one sometimes because to me good sex needs some form of connection, however sometimes you can switch off all feelings and have an amazing fuck but I believe the two to be completely different all depends on what kind of meet you agree on i think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's no one behaviour that can be pinpointed. Some are quite clever. I'm not sure if some are even players. More that the situation may not be the same as they visualise in their head, so they back away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

No one is a daft cunt ?? first step is to stop beating yourself up about it ??

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By *orny guy 73Man over a year ago

Paignton

Must be the guys your going for?? Not the nice ones lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not a clue sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When we message people to try to arrange a single meet we are honest. We tell them it’s just about sex. That said we’ve had people trying to play us.

You are a couple. Sorry how do you mean play you?"

The single men that try to strike up conversation with the Male half and talk about meeting as a couple to try and shag the female half. Just tell us you want to you’ve more chance that way.

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By *ficouldMan over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Why is it daft to catch feelings

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open."

That was a good read

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By *andyladMan over a year ago

Hereorthere

Seems to be a trend sorry to see your bad experience with some players on here

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"When we message people to try to arrange a single meet we are honest. We tell them it’s just about sex. That said we’ve had people trying to play us.

You are a couple. Sorry how do you mean play you?

The single men that try to strike up conversation with the Male half and talk about meeting as a couple to try and shag the female half. Just tell us you want to you’ve more chance that way."

Oh I see

Yep I get this 100%.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open."

Fuck me you just wrote what I've deleted 3 times now because I couldn't word it right

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

That can happen to anyone of us..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open.

That was a good read"

for me it wasnt because ultimately i was played like a fool.

you just dont see it at first. then just little things set alarm bells ringing.

was always told i was too nice and maybe that was it, i dont know, but what i do know is that inside its a knife twisting your guts.

and thats why i never cheat. and i leave sites like this if i meet someone who wants more.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Why is it daft to catch feelings "

On here it's fatal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont really know to be honest, but I suppose if it all seems to good to be true and it's working out to easily it may just be a well executed fantasy taking place rather than anything real.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

You cannot tell initially. But sooner or later the words do not match the actions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any bloke who is on here honey, I am one of them, we are here for one reason and one reason only, maybe a friendship might come of it , long lasting love and relationships very unlikely, and 95 percent will show, every word you said to there mates

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open.

That was a good read

for me it wasnt because ultimately i was played like a fool.

you just dont see it at first. then just little things set alarm bells ringing.

was always told i was too nice and maybe that was it, i dont know, but what i do know is that inside its a knife twisting your guts.

and thats why i never cheat. and i leave sites like this if i meet someone who wants more."

Its them little things like you say. Things suddenly clicking into place and wallop you don't need to ask there's no point you know you've been taken for a fool. Well fool no more laters.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"You women are so gullible and naive,takes cover!"

I think your right though. The problem is these forum walls have ears hah.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman over a year ago

your imagination

Alas whether in 'real life' or on Fab, my trust has more often than not been misplaced when it comes to relationships or even within fwb dynamics. Right now I'm happy, but from past experiences am also aware of the fragility of that happiness. So I make sure I've plenty of other things that make me happy too, and enjoy what I've got, in the moment.

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open."

What a great way to sum it up

well said

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

You cannot tell initially. But sooner or later the words do not match the actions. "

Yes you are so right.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Any bloke who is on here honey, I am one of them, we are here for one reason and one reason only, maybe a friendship might come of it , long lasting love and relationships very unlikely, and 95 percent will show, every word you said to there mates "

Nothing wrong with that if thats what you seek..but just be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You women are so gullible and naive,takes cover!

I think your right though. The problem is these forum walls have ears hah."

Don't trust no cunt, are my worvs of advice

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"You women are so gullible and naive,takes cover!

I think your right though. The problem is these forum walls have ears hah.

Don't trust no cunt, are my worvs of advice

Omg I spit my coffee out all over the carpet. Bloody hell what a mess

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By *lenderfoxMan over a year ago

Leeds

"I make sure I've plenty of other things that make me happy too, and enjoy what I've got, in the moment. "

This is really good advice.

Actions speak louder than words, so I pay attention to what someone does and how they act rather than what they say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

before you do anything double check the facts.

i caught a previous girlfriend cheating as she thought i had flown out of the country but i had missed the flight and turned back.

then i find her in a pub hand in hand with another guy.

what i noticed was that when she use to speak to her mum on the phone she always did it next to me, but most recently she would get up and want to talk more privately.

that was the trigger.

something changed, different, like they didnt do that before? why?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's too good to be true it most likely is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it's too good to be true it most likely is."

Apart from me, don't worry.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"difficult to answer because in your mind you always look not to believe the signs.

little things seem to jump out.

i use to have a very cold exterior. i was tought many years ago where there is doubt, then there is no doubt.

as ive got older ive mellowed and look back and think about the things ive done.

but one thing i always did and i to this day think it was always the right decision was that soon as i suspected something wasnt right, i packed my things and got on the bike never to be seen again.

zero contact with that person. never again.

and that reason i did that was because i always put it all on the line.

i trusted them totally without question, i was always loyal and never strayed.

once doubt started creeping in my mind went and i would self destruct.

exterior was calm and i never gave away that i knew but inside the fire was raging out of control.

nothing and i mean nothing hurts more when someone you care about or love breaks that trust.its gone forever.

like a shattered priceless ming vase.

no glue works as they will do it again if you forgive.

so i walk away, calmly, quietly.

never to be seen again.

my inbox is always open."

Instinct is there for a reason isnt it.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"If it's too good to be true it most likely is.

Apart from me, don't worry."

Of course Lib..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

1. He is always texting and smiling on the phone when he is with you.

2 He is very much for the day and avoids talking about any sort of future

3. He shows no interest in knowing your friends or meeting people you are close to. Unless it's another girl that swings.

4. He uses you as his haribo. Wants to set up a couples profile and arrange meets with single females he gets you to arrange

5. There is only certain times in the day and week he is contactable. He will not let you call him etc

6. He makes excuses of being unable to meet bar times that he controls.

7. He shows you no form of affection in public

8. Everything is on his terms and his terms only.

9. If you complain or raise something you are the one making an issue or at fault.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the marines have a saying.

when in doubt. kill.

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Aye, same. I've caught the feels with a few from here. Rarely reciprocated beyond the sex stuff

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

Men say they want quality over quantity and are looking for one FWB but what they really mean is one FWB a day and you will do till the next comes along.

It's a sex site dont trust any of them

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I make sure I've plenty of other things that make me happy too, and enjoy what I've got, in the moment.

This is really good advice.

Actions speak louder than words, so I pay attention to what someone does and how they act rather than what they say"

Im beginning to realise this more and more over time.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

I didn't need to be told that. When I very first started talking to men on internet sites I was cynical and doubtful about everything and everyone. I'm a born cynic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I make sure I've plenty of other things that make me happy too, and enjoy what I've got, in the moment.

This is really good advice.

Actions speak louder than words, so I pay attention to what someone does and how they act rather than what they say

Im beginning to realise this more and more over time. "

I can tell when someone is making up a story or embellishing it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone joins Fab for different reasons don’t they? Some for pure NSA, some hoping for that special connection with a potential soulmate .. and various other reasons too.

I think the very nature of Fab is primarily a casual sex site, if we cut to the the chase, so most people are going to use the tricks and tools available to them to get that sex. If that means telling someone what they want to hear, then many will even if it’s insincere.

I guess all you can do is be clear with what you’re after, ask the right questions, and go with your gut feel. Sometimes it’ll be right, sometimes wrong but move on.

I’m here for a bit of NSA fun and the site fits my needs, if I was here for more then I guess I’d adjust my approach as I’m not 100% sure that Fab would be the best place to look, for me at least, for something more meaningful than NSA.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

I didn't need to be told that. When I very first started talking to men on internet sites I was cynical and doubtful about everything and everyone. I'm a born cynic. "

I did ~ I'm very trusting and very naive, well not so much anymore obviously!!

They're all cunts (see?!)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the man hate.

You'll likely get a higher amount of deceit here due to rhe very nature of the site. That much should be largely obvious.

Just trust your brain and not your heart/loins, same as a relationship outside of Fab.

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 15/10/18 23:12:22]

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

"When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

I didn't need to be told that. When I very first started talking to men on internet sites I was cynical and doubtful about everything and everyone. I'm a born cynic.

I did ~ I'm very trusting and very naive, well not so much anymore obviously!!

They're all cunts (see?!)"

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the man hate.

You'll likely get a higher amount of deceit here due to rhe very nature of the site. That much should be largely obvious.

Just trust your brain and not your heart/loins, same as a relationship outside of Fab."

the sadness for me is you can see the women who hate men and highlight it on the forums. but the fact is they chose them men who treated them badly. the same way i chose the wrong women.

no one is right here male or female.

both sexes cheat on each other and can be just as nasty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess the only way you can tell a bad liar is if everything they say sounds too perfect. On a recent episode of Dr Phil there was this couple having problems and she was all ragged and upset and when it was the guy's turn he was all competent and calm and smiling and had an answer for everything and, of course, the way he told it nothing at all was his fault. In the end it was the perfectness of his act that gave him away as a total fucking narcissist. Nobody is that fucking squeeky clean

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By *sianMancMan over a year ago

Manchester

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

OP I'm one of those on here seeking the one. However define what you mean by player and how he took you for a fool.

More understanding of your position and experience here will help.

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By *sianMancMan over a year ago

Manchester

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Feelings don't make one daft. So please elaborate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Probably more pertinenet a question is how do you notice the people who are hurting or who are 'damaged' (horrible word to use) that are likely to be the sort of people who will play these games whether knowingly or not. I think there is probably always a reason behind peoples actions, that aren't always intentionally cruel maybe.

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By *mber DextrousWoman over a year ago

Devon

"I make sure I've plenty of other things that make me happy too, and enjoy what I've got, in the moment.

This is really good advice.

Actions speak louder than words, so I pay attention to what someone does and how they act rather than what they say"

All very good pieces of advice!

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Nothing daft about it at all, I’m going through it too but it really is inevitable, it’s how we deal with it that’s important. Are you coping ok? I just can’t shake this one off.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman over a year ago

in the shadows

Observe their actions and pay attention to every thing they say. Normally there's a give away but you always try to pass it off as you don't want to think that they're up to no good. The second you're trying to make excuses for what they day or do is the second you have a potential issue.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Everyone joins Fab for different reasons don’t they? Some for pure NSA, some hoping for that special connection with a potential soulmate .. and various other reasons too.

I guess all you can do is be clear with what you’re after, ask the right questions, and go with your gut feel. Sometimes it’ll be right, sometimes wrong but move on.

Great advice.. move on yep that's great (happy face).

I'm just surprised at the extent some guys will go to. Why bother when there are so many others looking for nsa.

Yes maybe you are right Dan. I should get on my bike and fuck off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Well it’s not daft, that implies that you have some choice in the matter. If you meet a human, be it in a library or a swingers club, and you feel a connection and strong feelings for them that’s unavoidable. I suppose it’s assuming that it will lead somewhere that is the error we might make.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

OP I'm one of those on here seeking the one. However define what you mean by player and how he took you for a fool.

More understanding of your position and experience here will help."

Name oh no...not on a forum. The naughty step awaits me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone joins Fab for different reasons don’t they? Some for pure NSA, some hoping for that special connection with a potential soulmate .. and various other reasons too.

I guess all you can do is be clear with what you’re after, ask the right questions, and go with your gut feel. Sometimes it’ll be right, sometimes wrong but move on.

Great advice.. move on yep that's great (happy face).

I'm just surprised at the extent some guys will go to. Why bother when there are so many others looking for nsa.

Yes maybe you are right Dan. I should get on my bike and fuck off

I was talking generically in the context of the thread rather than aiming my comments specifically at you so I apologise if you felt they were

It’s unfortunate but generically on a site like this there will be games played, by people that are insincere in their motives.

I absolutely get it that anyone impacted may be hurt, and that it’s not easy to just brush it off and move on. But ultimately they have to, otherwise the only one left hurt is them. And nobody deserves that, everyone should be entitled to be happy!

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Everyone joins Fab for different reasons don’t they? Some for pure NSA, some hoping for that special connection with a potential soulmate .. and various other reasons too.

I guess all you can do is be clear with what you’re after, ask the right questions, and go with your gut feel. Sometimes it’ll be right, sometimes wrong but move on.

Great advice.. move on yep that's great (happy face).

I'm just surprised at the extent some guys will go to. Why bother when there are so many others looking for nsa.

Yes maybe you are right Dan. I should get on my bike and fuck off

I was talking generically in the context of the thread rather than aiming my comments specifically at you so I apologise if you felt they were

It’s unfortunate but generically on a site like this there will be games played, by people that are insincere in their motives.

I know Dan hah...I was just pulling your leg

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Men say they want quality over quantity and are looking for one FWB but what they really mean is one FWB a day and you will do till the next comes along.

It's a sex site dont trust any of them"

Perhaps we could talk about ‘people’ in general rather than men? Men and women will each have experienced unhappy times with the opposite (or same) sex. The idea that all men are untrustworthy is ridiculous predjuducial nonsense. If someone said that about women I’d call it out as sexist rubbish and that goes both ways.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

I didn't need to be told that. When I very first started talking to men on internet sites I was cynical and doubtful about everything and everyone. I'm a born cynic.

I did ~ I'm very trusting and very naive, well not so much anymore obviously!!

They're all cunts (see?!)"

But it's a shame isnt it that you become this way

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"When I first joined here I was told not to trust any man on here and to never let my guard down completely. Sounds very cynical doesn't it? Its true though.

In answer to your OP though I honestly don't know. Gut instinct. If it sounds like bullshit it probably is?

I didn't need to be told that. When I very first started talking to men on internet sites I was cynical and doubtful about everything and everyone. I'm a born cynic.

I did ~ I'm very trusting and very naive, well not so much anymore obviously!!

They're all cunts (see?!)

But it's a shame isnt it that you become this way

Yes it is but it's to protect yourself a little I think In case things go wrong.

And for the record my comment about all men being cunts was a jokey one. Of course not all are, there are some lovely guys on here....it just takes time to find ones that you're compatible with and who are looking for similar to you.

Hope you're ok Spiderwoman x

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?"

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Ive had some weird shit going on lately with this site that I know in more ways than one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't look for anything more than sex on these types of sites. I even met and got played by 2 sociopaths on POF, so online sites of all kinds can be a proverbial minefield.

Follow your instincts and maybe read some of the many articles about what signs to look for in these situations.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Some are very very good at being players

Same motives, same habits, I suspect the same words.

They'll degrade previous conquests or claim them to be a bit loopy to make you feel special and that it was the female before you that has issues not them.

They want you exclusively but aren't so keen for that themselves despite promising you the world.

Very very clever. But not as clever as a woman

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

Hmm

Sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug xx

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I wouldn't look for anything more than sex on these types of sites. I even met and got played by 2 sociopaths on POF, so online sites of all kinds can be a proverbial minefield.

Follow your instincts and maybe read some of the many articles about what signs to look for in these situations. "

Yes I think you are probably right. I must learn to trust my instinct as its normally always right. Thanks

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Yes yes there are.

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By *s_bettyboopWoman over a year ago

-3

"Gut instinct & intuation are never wrong it's your internal warning system. Follow them not your heart."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some are very very good at being players

Same motives, same habits, I suspect the same words.

They'll degrade previous conquests or claim them to be a bit loopy to make you feel special and that it was the female before you that has issues not them.

They want you exclusively but aren't so keen for that themselves despite promising you the world.

Very very clever. But not as clever as a woman

Sadly some people will go to bizarre lengths to mask their intentions and true self.

Personally I just don’t understand it but the worst part is they don’t understand the affect it can have on the other party.

It’s a shame such phonies exist and are only found to be so when “too late”.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

Nothing daft about it at all, I’m going through it too but it really is inevitable, it’s how we deal with it that’s important. Are you coping ok? I just can’t shake this one off."

Good luck ladies.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Men say they want quality over quantity and are looking for one FWB but what they really mean is one FWB a day and you will do till the next comes along.

It's a sex site dont trust any of them

I'm not saying they are all untrustworthy, but I don't trust anyone.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman over a year ago

...

"Some are very very good at being players

Same motives, same habits, I suspect the same words.

They'll degrade previous conquests or claim them to be a bit loopy to make you feel special and that it was the female before you that has issues not them.

They want you exclusively but aren't so keen for that themselves despite promising you the world.

Very very clever. But not as clever as a woman

Sadly some people will go to bizarre lengths to mask their intentions and true self.

Personally I just don’t understand it but the worst part is they don’t understand the affect it can have on the other party.

It’s a shame such phonies exist and are only found to be so when “too late”."

When someone makes you doubt your own integrity and mental wellbeing, that is shit and they really don't understand.

They soon unmask themselves to be very ugly and not the person you thought.

Selfish, narcisstic and manipulative.

But cunning because only those who have been on the inside can see that.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

Hmm

Sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug xx"

Well thanks.. all is good on the web tonight she smiles.

I just couldn't help but think is it just me falling down the rabbit hole

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Men say they want quality over quantity and are looking for one FWB but what they really mean is one FWB a day and you will do till the next comes along.

It's a sex site dont trust any of them

I'm not saying they are all untrustworthy, but I don't trust anyone. "

So do you just not meet anyone then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven't got "the feels" for anyone on here but someone has come very close to being my best friend. We have talked every day since our first message and while I know it will never, ever go anywhere, I think we will be friends for a very long time to come...

...and I have probably just given it the kiss of death by typing this out loud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some are very very good at being players

Same motives, same habits, I suspect the same words.

They'll degrade previous conquests or claim them to be a bit loopy to make you feel special and that it was the female before you that has issues not them.

They want you exclusively but aren't so keen for that themselves despite promising you the world.

Very very clever. But not as clever as a woman

Sadly some people will go to bizarre lengths to mask their intentions and true self.

Personally I just don’t understand it but the worst part is they don’t understand the affect it can have on the other party.

It’s a shame such phonies exist and are only found to be so when “too late”.

When someone makes you doubt your own integrity and mental wellbeing, that is shit and they really don't understand.

They soon unmask themselves to be very ugly and not the person you thought.

Selfish, narcisstic and manipulative.

But cunning because only those who have been on the inside can see that.

Totally agree. Shallow and very peculiar people. Hopefully see less and less of them in future

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then I'm certainly being played I need to wake up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

Hmm

Sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug xx

Well thanks.. all is good on the web tonight she smiles.

I just couldn't help but think is it just me falling down the rabbit hole

I think you're swimming with sharks on here. But you know that right? I'm open to finding love. But I'm taking a breather before I get back into the crazy world of dating. So I'm on here in the meantime. I might find love whilst I'm on here. I don't know. But I know these are dangerous waters to be swimming in for that kind of thing. So I'm assuming I won't find it here unless it creeps up on me and wallops me around the back of the head. If you're approaching this site differently from that maybe you should have a rethink? I know you've been having quite a bit of rethinking lately. So maybe this is all part of that. You're a very beautiful woman. You deserve to find someone genuine. But then we all do don't we?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This should be also be a warning to men that they also need to look for signs they may be getting played. I've been played by some very clever, devious and cruel sociopath women and both male and female ones do use online sites a lot. So all be careful.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

[Removed by poster at 16/10/18 00:30:08]

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Then I'm certainly being played I need to wake up "

Smell the coffee

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By *ineMan over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

When we commoditise relationships and sex to the point that we forget our own or others humanity, or where our most important objective is who's next then at some point we are all likely to become distrustful of others motives....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Men say they want quality over quantity and are looking for one FWB but what they really mean is one FWB a day and you will do till the next comes along.

It's a sex site dont trust any of them

I'm not saying they are all untrustworthy, but I don't trust anyone.

So do you just not meet anyone then?"

Oh no, I meet or have met plenty. I just don't take anything they say as gospel or to heart.

I'm closed off to feelings.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

Hmm

Sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug xx

Well thanks.. all is good on the web tonight she smiles.

I just couldn't help but think is it just me falling down the rabbit hole

Plenty of sharks

Anyone got a hammer handy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

Personal experience but it hasn't made me hate men or stop meeting them.

I've had a few men ask me to be exclusive with them. They don't want to be exclusive with me though.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Probably more pertinenet a question is how do you notice the people who are hurting or who are 'damaged' (horrible word to use) ..."

I think it is the right word - we are all damaged by life, some more, some less.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

That's it thankyou. Who's next thats it...and being made to feel that way.

I dont want to become someone differant from the person I was a year ago. But this place is changing me into someone I dont want to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

That's it thankyou. Who's next thats it...and being made to feel that way.

I dont want to become someone differant from the person I was a year ago. But this place is changing me into someone I dont want to be."

I'd advise looking for love in the real world and well away from the Internet. I don't think a swinger site is the best place to meet someone for a relationship. Best of luck.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?"

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

That's it thankyou. Who's next thats it...and being made to feel that way.

I dont want to become someone differant from the person I was a year ago. But this place is changing me into someone I dont want to be.

I'd advise looking for love in the real world and well away from the Internet. I don't think a swinger site is the best place to meet someone for a relationship. Best of luck. "

Awesome picture its fantastic. Yes you are right its taken me a while to get my head round x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Awesome picture its fantastic. Yes you are right its taken me a while to get my head round x"

Thank you my lovely.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Gut instinct may be OK but you need to take a logical look at the situation too. Emotional influences can seriously wreck your judgement - perhaps when you are more easily a potential victim of being played. Ensure you follow the advice that you would give a close friend if they were in your situation.

Watch for someone always having excuses for why something isn't quite as you would like or they cannot compromise as much as you are. Monitor yourself - if you are being played, you are setting the stage. If there are patterns from other prior relationships, see them as warning signs for you to potentially change course.

Look for someone who is trying to tell you that they are doing what you want or give away messages that shout that they are shaping their involvement according to what they perceive you are needing or asking for. Someone who is like a chameleon, adjusting and forming a shell of themselves, will probably also show signs of other aspects of manipulating others as well as potentially seeming somewhat unavailable. They'll find it tiring and pursue others, if like that much of the time.

Go slowly - you'll develop better perspective and judgement when not under intense pressure, seemingly swept along.

Probe as much as you can

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

If his car number plate is

P4lA NO1 and leopard print seat covers.

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I assume every guy i meet from here is playing me. It makes things easier on me when I'm proved right!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I assume every guy i meet from here is playing me. It makes things easier on me when I'm proved right! "

Yeah, I think that's the best way to be on here unless you know someone fairly well. So in answer to the question "how do I know when a guy (who wants to meet me for a one off fuck) is playing me for a fool?" I would say "when his mouth is moving".

Of course I know that isn't true of every man on fab but trusting someone from the off isn't wise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I assume every guy i meet from here is playing me. It makes things easier on me when I'm proved right!

Of course I know that isn't true of every man on fab but trusting someone from the off isn't wise."

Yep. Until proved otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I must admit that when I read threads like this I just find it weird... like a men are from mars women are from venus thing. It's quite difficult to get a handle on what women are trying to say and whether it's just in their heads, they're approaching things wrong, or whether I'm just naive and there really are loads of despicable men out there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like so many have posted about always trust your gut instinct and intuition.. and if your prepared for the repocuasions dig a lil deeper...

The truth will always rear it's ugly head..(speaking from personal experience) it's what you choose to do from then on that counts

I will say to anyone on here yes this is a sex site

But you should always know your worth and what you deserve..

I hope you can resolve the matter soon..

Xxjuice

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By *iss InnocenceWoman over a year ago

Coventry/Bristol

I was played well and truly on here allways trust your gut feeling

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

He's on fab

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By *egasus NobMan over a year ago

Merton

This thread is men slaughter house

It takes two

What did you agree between him and yourself, don’t assume.

What do you ladies mean by playing you?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This thread is men slaughter house

It takes two

What did you agree between him and yourself, don’t assume.Sadly

What do you ladies mean by playing you?"

Sadly the internet is full of men who deliberately convince women they want a relationship with her when all they want is sex. I don't believe many women do that, though some might do the opposite - say they just want sex when they are actually wanting a relationship. There's nothing wrong with wanting either - it's the deliberate deception that is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mr says this to me all the time.

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I haven't got "the feels" for anyone on here but someone has come very close to being my best friend. We have talked every day since our first message and while I know it will never, ever go anywhere, I think we will be friends for a very long time to come...

And that is priceless strange how you talk crap to someone every night. They listen and are there not wanting anything them kind of people are rare though

...and I have probably just given it the kiss of death by typing this out loud

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By *ink Panther.Woman over a year ago

Preston

There are two things that ppl can’t hide for long, bay shit crazy and bullshit. Therefore spend time doing due diligence and don’t be so quick to accept what you’re being told because it’s what you want to hear. You will find those that want shag and go and not something more will turn into various types of Wesen after a relatively short period of time of messaging. They’re only interested in getting their tinky winky wet and the pretence of wanting more than shag and go will be short lived

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I honestly do not believe that guys on here are open to the idea of being exclusive with one woman or wanting more than just a casual friendly fuck. If you're looking for specific signs someone may be telling you things you want to hear just watch if their actions match what they're saying. Or look to see who initiates meeting most, is the communication between both quite equal. On here do they make changes to their profile quite often, uploading new pics, new status updates or anything that will gain more interest or attention. Do they still want to meet other people. There's lots of signs, your gut will generally tell you what's going on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never thought I’d be one of those daft cunts who catches feelings. Alas...

*hug*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I honestly do not believe that guys on here are open to the idea of being exclusive with one woman or wanting more than just a casual friendly fuck. If you're looking for specific signs someone may be telling you things you want to hear just watch if their actions match what they're saying. Or look to see who initiates meeting most, is the communication between both quite equal. On here do they make changes to their profile quite often, uploading new pics, new status updates or anything that will gain more interest or attention. Do they still want to meet other people. There's lots of signs, your gut will generally tell you what's going on. "

When I had my guy profile up a couple of years back I stated I'd like to make good friends and if I was lucky meet just one woman for something long term. I was told in no uncertain terms that this was a swingers site and not a dating site. So guys who are looking for more are usually shot down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"if it all seems to good to be true. "

If someone is playing you then they will tailor it to you so the above is an indicator (also in finance!) Which reminds me, don't give money to people you meet here....

Also if you find yourself the victim of a confidence trick more than once you might be too trusting or merely unlucky. Anyone can be conned once and there's no shame in it, humans aren't the great judges of character we like to think we are.

Mike xx

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

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By *good-being-badMan over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I've read the thread and some of the comments from some of the ladies make me wonder , if this site has given you those feelings why do you stay.

I'd hope (yep I still have faith) in the other person that they're honest trustworthy.. I was burnt by a previous relationship do I look at the next lady with the wary eyes of a guy who was burnt.. nope I look at them as the new start fresh start full of hope .. if that trust is damaged sure I'm going to be sore I'll dust myself off and look again. Will I be jaded bitter hold those feelings ..I hope not..it'll eat you up.

I was told years ago.

"Falling down is part of life...getting back up is living".. bitter and twisted I'll leave to others ..I'm looking for happiness

Hope you all find what you seek.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd also urge people to read up on sociopath traits such as 'love bombing' etc as it can also be a good reference as to what signs to look for and protect yourself

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I honestly do not believe that guys on here are open to the idea of being exclusive with one woman or wanting more than just a casual friendly fuck."

Some guys. Maybe even many guys. But not all guys on here. I'd love to find more than a casual fuck and I was exclusive with a woman over the summer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally I think the only way is to communicate for a long time before you meet. If they are only interested in a quick shag they won't stay speaking for long and the more you communicate about things, not just sex, the better feel you get for the person and their true intentions. Even that is no guarantee though...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/10/18 12:24:34]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it? "

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

So what if you got manipulated? You figure it out early. You weigh up how much of it you can take in return for what you want. Then you walk away and return to the search for love. You've just got to make sure you don't delude yourself or stay through lack of self worth.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not all guys.

I hate being labelled like this when the people doing it do not know me.

I'm not responsible for the men you ladies chose to get involved with.

And the way some of you damn men at every opportunity I'm not surprised the fuck n run.

Only got yourselves to blame.

Stop moaning and give nice guys a chance.

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I'm still getting over my ex somewhat.... He treated me like a twat and was master at hiding his behaviour and then had the front to blame a portion of it on me!!!

I can generally see twats coming a mile off but not this bugger

Pity the other ladies in his life most of the time

Still, we are now trying to be friends and its kinda working. Managed to spend a nice evening together without killing each other

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

When is an exclusive fwb not a boyfriend?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not all guys.

I hate being labelled like this when the people doing it do not know me.

I'm not responsible for the men you ladies chose to get involved with.

And the way some of you damn men at every opportunity I'm not surprised the fuck n run.

Only got yourselves to blame.

Stop moaning and give nice guys a chance.

You sound lovely

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

I’m reading this thread and find myself amazed at peoples modern take on swinging. If you want exclusive relationships then this cannot be the place surely. It would seem that the single men & women that use the site are approaching it from a dating perspective rather than a swinging perspective (or my interpretation of that). I’m not in the slightest way trying to tell people how to live there lives, but If you are looking for love, maybe try somehere where others are doing the same. To expect anything else from swingers is setting your expections above and beyond. Swinging used to be about safe recreational sex with like minded people.... it just seems that mainstream now that people have lost focus on why we love swinging!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection. "

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil "

She never said she was closed to love though. You assumed that. She was correcting you that she used the word trust not love.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil

She never said she was closed to love though. You assumed that. She was correcting you that she used the word trust not love. "

If she's distrustful of everyone who comes her way she's closed to love

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By *ig9incherforuMan over a year ago

Welwyn

"You women are so gullible and naive,takes cover!"
So true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m reading this thread and find myself amazed at peoples modern take on swinging. If you want exclusive relationships then this cannot be the place surely. It would seem that the single men & women that use the site are approaching it from a dating perspective rather than a swinging perspective (or my interpretation of that). I’m not in the slightest way trying to tell people how to live there lives, but If you are looking for love, maybe try somehere where others are doing the same. To expect anything else from swingers is setting your expections above and beyond. Swinging used to be about safe recreational sex with like minded people.... it just seems that mainstream now that people have lost focus on why we love swinging!

The crazy thing is even the people on the dating apps know what they're in for. Yet on here there seems to be a weird dewey eyed super vanilla naivety

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan over a year ago

salisbury

If people want to identify as swingers, even when what they want isn't actually swinging, who are we to disagree with them? It's 2018. You can identify as whatever or whoever you want, and then demand everyone else changes to protect your feelings. Just get used to it already!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil

She never said she was closed to love though. You assumed that. She was correcting you that she used the word trust not love.

If she's distrustful of everyone who comes her way she's closed to love "

Please read her words...”unless they earn it”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The crazy thing is even the people on the dating apps know what they're in for. Yet on here there seems to be a weird dewey eyed super vanilla naivety "

And men who refuse to listen!

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil

She never said she was closed to love though. You assumed that. She was correcting you that she used the word trust not love.

If she's distrustful of everyone who comes her way she's closed to love "

Way to put words into my mouth. You don’t know me but if you did you’d know I’m surrounded by love and people whom I trust. When the day comes to romantically love someone I’ll have trust in them too. My comment wasn’t about love and if that still makes you sad I don’t need pity. I’m perfectly happy.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

The crazy thing is even the people on the dating apps know what they're in for. "

What's that then?

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

We can fall for someone we meet at the bus stop on the way to work every day. It's not the place that squiffs things, it's what's done with the knowledge that feelings are becoming involved that can be shitty and turn things into a game.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Follow your instincts ladies and gents.

I’ve pulled up the drawbridge. I’ll never again put my trust in anyone unless they earn it. If you think you’re being played then have a good long think. Is it worth it?

That makes me sad

You've got to let love get to you MrsMac or you'll miss out on everything.

But don't stop opening yourself to the possibility of love

Trust. Not love. But thanks for the projection.

I wasn't projecting. Love can't grow on distrusting soil

She never said she was closed to love though. You assumed that. She was correcting you that she used the word trust not love.

If she's distrustful of everyone who comes her way she's closed to love

Sorry MrsMac. I didn't mean to infer any of that. I was just responding to your post. I just feel you have to trust people a little bit in order to start falling for them. It's not the other way around imo. Falling in love requires a degree of open hearted vulnerability.

I'm glad you're surrounded by friendship and love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He's breathing!!!!

Seriously - trust your gut, your very own inbuilt early warning system.

AND I've done it on here - twice now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We can fall for someone we meet at the bus stop on the way to work every day. It's not the place that squiffs things, it's what's done with the knowledge that feelings are becoming involved that can be shitty and turn things into a game."

Ah! Wow! I think you finally nailed it for me Peach

A player is someone who cynically manipulates the fact that you have feelings for them

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Ah! Wow! I think you finally nailed it for me Peach

A player is someone who cynically manipulates the fact that you have feelings for them "

Jackpot

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Ive sorted it all out in my own head now. It's probably all my own fault.

There doesn't have to be feelings for the other person to feel used/fooled or played.

Most times the same patterns happen so the signs were all there if I'd choosen to see them. Forum post etc.

I didn't follow my instinct when the words didnt match the actions could give example but wont go into that.

There are far to many sweets in the jar.

My body was telling me no...I even went though the low before we met. Maybe that was my body preparing me for what was to come.

Stay true to myself...if I wouldn't do it in real life then dont get myself into a situation due to connections build.

Its more about disappointment than feelings. That someone will come into your life over a long period of time for what (sex). Hrs invested for what!

Don't get me wrong....I'm happy to have just sex on a nsa term but just be honest about that and I will also.

Ive had to hide my profile, change my location and stop uploading pictures due to recent issues related to being on here over the last few weeks.

So on reflection maybe Im in the wrong place who knows but sometimes a step back is a good thing to enable you to walk forward a stronger and better person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah! Wow! I think you finally nailed it for me Peach

A player is someone who cynically manipulates the fact that you have feelings for them

Jackpot "

It took me a while but I got there in the end

See. I do listen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally wouldn't look on here for anything more than a one off. It's taken me years to realise this but since I have it's been a lot easier to be on here.

I'm not a swinger, never have claimed to be one, never would want to be one. I'm here for the forums as I'm banned from every fitness forum I used to be a member of.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I personally wouldn't look on here for anything more than a one off. It's taken me years to realise this but since I have it's been a lot easier to be on here.

I'm not a swinger, never have claimed to be one, never would want to be one. I'm here for the forums as I'm banned from every fitness forum I used to be a member of. "

Have you tried the fitness singles site?? I think both you and Spidey might find that useful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ive sorted it all out in my own head now. It's probably all my own fault.

There doesn't have to be feelings for the other person to feel used/fooled or played.

Most times the same patterns happen so the signs were all there if I'd choosen to see them. Forum post etc.

I didn't follow my instinct when the words didnt match the actions could give example but wont go into that.

There are far to many sweets in the jar.

My body was telling me no...I even went though the low before we met. Maybe that was my body preparing me for what was to come.

Stay true to myself...if I wouldn't do it in real life then dont get myself into a situation due to connections build.

Its more about disappointment than feelings. That someone will come into your life over a long period of time for what (sex). Hrs invested for what!

Don't get me wrong....I'm happy to have just sex on a nsa term but just be honest about that and I will also.

Ive had to hide my profile, change my location and stop uploading pictures due to recent issues related to being on here over the last few weeks.

So on reflection maybe Im in the wrong place who knows but sometimes a step back is a good thing to enable you to walk forward a stronger and better person.

Not a bad decision reading what you say fab can end up leaving you with mixed feelings over people at times. You may change your mind later you may not but you seem to have a positive path in your mind now good for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things."

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah! Wow! I think you finally nailed it for me Peach

A player is someone who cynically manipulates the fact that you have feelings for them

Jackpot

It took me a while but I got there in the end

See. I do listen

Yay!

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I personally wouldn't look on here for anything more than a one off. It's taken me years to realise this but since I have it's been a lot easier to be on here.

I'm not a swinger, never have claimed to be one, never would want to be one. I'm here for the forums as I'm banned from every fitness forum I used to be a member of.

Have you tried the fitness singles site?? I think both you and Spidey might find that useful."

No I havent. Pop me a message lovely xx

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person."
Yes and that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that. "

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?"

Ooo the secret "he's worth shagging, he's a nob" code

Now feeling right para

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?"

I was a detective in my last life

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?

Ooo the secret "he's worth shagging, he's a nob" code

Now feeling right para

Hah maybe not even that. I'll take you to mars and back isnt always the case just the end of the bed would do..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So ok its a sex site I get all that nothing wrong with nsa at all.

However for the single people on here looking for something that little bit more, could be exclusive fwb or even a relationship in whatever direction that suits you both etc.

However I have fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player.

What behaviours tell you hes taking you for a fool.

"
he makes you chip in for lunch and cost of hotel, turns up late for meets, takes ages to respond to your messages coz he's chatting to so many others, didn't get you anything for your birthday, has marks on his ring finger where he's taken it off, doesn't always hear what you say, makes you drive on meets so he can have a drink, meets are always organised when he can make it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?

I was a detective in my last life

Could you give a few examples of how you were played?

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"If people want to identify as swingers, even when what they want isn't actually swinging, who are we to disagree with them? It's 2018. You can identify as whatever or whoever you want, and then demand everyone else changes to protect your feelings. Just get used to it already!

My bad!

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By *pider-Woman OP Woman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?

I was a detective in my last life

Could you give a few examples of how you were played?"

Thats why I was asking the question

as Ive fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player. But I've put all the pieces together as above.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

This is very true, but in all likleyhood, if your looking for a partner who drives, you won’t find them at a bus stop.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

They tell you how much they think someone is a twat or a psycho then you see them sucking up to them on forum threads.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"I personally wouldn't look on here for anything more than a one off. It's taken me years to realise this but since I have it's been a lot easier to be on here.

I'm not a swinger, never have claimed to be one, never would want to be one. I'm here for the forums as I'm banned from every fitness forum I used to be a member of. "

The forums are yours to use as you wish! Enjoy

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By *anky_PankyWoman over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

You can still be lied to and cheated on in a swinging relationship - I was!

People have different rules as to how they do or don't play when in a couple.....

Honesty was my issue, not whatever he fucked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In hindsight, can you see some of the signs that you may have missed at the time?

Yes I think so. If what I see doesnt match what they say then go with my instinct in future.

Actions do speak louder than words so many of you are right.

Take notice of forum threads..There's normally a reason behind what other women say.

Don't do anything with anyone that you wouldn't of in real life.

Keep on smiling....

The forum bit, do you mean what women say in general about men?

I mean you see the ups then the downs then maybe a connection thread or comment. Then maybe a message or a general comment can be many things.

Ah ok. I thought you meant comments from women about a specific person.

Yes and that.

How does that work? How would you know who they're referring to?

I was a detective in my last life

Could you give a few examples of how you were played?

Thats why I was asking the question

as Ive fallen at not being able to see the warning signs of a player. But I've put all the pieces together as above."

Oh ya I know. I just thought that as you've fallen for a player before, that you'd have examples of how you were played.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When is an exclusive fwb not a boyfriend?"

When both parties agree that your meets are just for fun company together, and of course sex. Outside of that you lead separate lives.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Reading this thread with a sense of sadness at the levels of cynicism suspicion and inherent distrust that so many seem to feel on here, either from personal experience of otherwise.

That's it thankyou. Who's next thats it...and being made to feel that way.

I dont want to become someone differant from the person I was a year ago. But this place is changing me into someone I dont want to be."

I couldn't of put it better myself. Some men see us as being weak and stupid and expect us to believe everything they say. I just smile. Hope your ok Spiderwoman. Big hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After the second one, get away from him, if you want a relationship it’s not going to happen with him, but this is a sex site, probably 75 percent who say they are single, surely aren’t, it’s disgusting that carry on, not me I’m a good catholic boy

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