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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina  She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories?  |
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Great Scott!
Ok...this is easily explained of course; Clearly the woman in question must have been abducted by aliens at some point during the evening in her d*unken stupor.
The said aliens decided against the usual rectal probe and instead inserted their new tortoise technology (it’s not actually a tortoise, rather a small alien manned vessel that looks like one).
Um.....yes.....that sounds entirely plausible....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not as bad as the woman that stuffed a pregnant lobster up her chuff and died giving birth to all the little baby lobsters "
She was just being a little shellfish.  |
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"Not as bad as the woman that stuffed a pregnant lobster up her chuff and died giving birth to all the little baby lobsters
She was just being a little shellfish. Lmfao"
Did she get crabs after that? |
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"A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories? "
If she had no idea, it was obviously Raphael.
Or one of the other ninja turtles  |
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"A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories? "
The doctors put a dressing on it.
Sadly for her, it was a 1000 Island dressing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories? "
Hahahaha |
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"A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories?
The doctors put a dressing on it.
Sadly for her, it was a 1000 Island dressing "
Love it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A British woman went to hospital in Tenerife with sore genitals and doctors were stunned to find she had an infection. Caused by a dead tortoise in her vagina She says she was out drinking the night before with friends and has no idea how the tortoise got there. Any theories? "
shell today gone tomorrow |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is this real ? "
Apparently so. It's the red tops reporting it here but they've got it from Spanish media. Police were involved as the hospital called them |
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